A/N: It's literally days until I see the play! Grr...I can't wait any longer. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me, especially the people who read my other stories! It's nice to hear from you after every update! Hope you like this one!

Disclaimer: Characters are Jonathan Larson's.

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Roger's POV (2 weeks later)

"You like it?" Carrie screeches, spinning in a wide circle. A pink dress covers her body, strapless and long, yet showing as much skin as possible. The tennis shoes on her feet actually look all right with the gown, as she stands on her tiptoes, pretending she's wearing heels.

"It's very pretty." I tell her, not knowing if there's truth in my statement. "But does this mean I'll have to wear a pink tie?" I complain, and her dress immediately becomes motionless. A frown covers Carrie's face, as she creeps over to the chair I'm sitting in.

"I suppose I could get another color." She strokes the side of my face lightly with her thumb, teasing me to kiss her. "But I really like this one…and the dance is in a little more than a week…" Her lips pout sadly, and I sigh in anguish.

"Fine, you can get that one. I just don't want any shit because I'm wearing pink." Before I'm able to meet her mouth again, she jumps up clapping in joy. The top layer of her dress bounces up and down with her body, floating through the air with grace, then landing back against the rest of the translucent pink.

"You won't. Everyone thinks you are quite the man, baby." She smirks at me, but I doubt what she said would be true if everyone knew the thoughts running constantly through my mind. Lately I can't seem to get one person out of my mind. I don't think everyone at school would believe I'm so cool if they knew I'm thinking about a guy.

"Sure." I sigh, and slouch onto the leather like fabric of the chair. Carrie checks herself out in the mirror one more time before heading to the changing room.

"We're going to lunch with Maureen baby! Is that okay?" She screams from behind the blue door, as I see the dress slip off around her ankles.

"Uhh…will anyone else be joining us?" I ask, hoping her answer will be a good one.

"Hmm…well Maureen might bring that little sweetie…what's his name?" She stumbles slightly into the wall, cursing at her shoes before continuing to dress.

"Mark?" I snap quickly, and she giggles.

"Yea. Jeez honey, you have a good memory." Yea, I have a good memory. I remember every single detail of Mark's face, his laugh, his voice, his smile. The way he looks when he's embarrassed, or when he thinks something is funny. Everything stays crisp in my memory, no matter how much I try to push it out. Carrie is my girlfriend now. It's unfair to be thinking so much about someone else. Especially while I am with her. Carrie appears from the dressing room with a big smile, dressed now in a loose sweatshirt and a long skirt. I don't think anyone else would have joined those two pieces of clothing together but her.

"Ready?" I ask, and she nods before snuggling herself underneath my arm.

"Chinese? That okay?" I roll my eyes at her. I would have thought Maureen would be sick of Chinese by now.

"Are you just bumming a ride off of me as usual?"

"No, Roger. I'm taking the bus. Or a cab rather!" She elbows me roughly in the stomach and I chuckle. It doesn't take long for an apology, as she meets my lips quickly, pulling out from under my arm and pushing her body against mine. It surprises me slightly, but I'm unable to sink into her touch. It never seems comfortable to kiss her. She's always seemed a little too much like my sister. But I've gotten myself into this, and I don't intend to leave anytime soon.

"Well…I guess you can get a ride with me and save yourself a little dough." I yawn and open the car door for her.

"Thanks darling. I appreciate it." Her pink tongue springs out of her mouth as she dips her head down to get in the car.

I'm sick of these lunch dates. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of hanging out with Carrie. I love her, but only as a friend. I think that's as much as I ever will love her. But she will never understand it. I always knew there was something missing, and now it feels like that something is being ignored. It's right there. He's right there. Why won't I let myself acknowledge it? I like Mark, but it's not a big deal. I just want to hang out with him more, to get to know him. It's nothing out of the ordinary. It can't be. I'm just scaring myself because I haven't had a good guy friend in a while. Maybe I forgot what it felt like. I just want to be friends, but I'm freaking myself out for no reason at all.

But when I almost kissed Mark, when his face was centimeters away from mine, it felt right. I felt like I fit there. I never feel like that when I kiss Carrie. Sometimes I brace myself before she kisses me. I'm sick. I'm insensitive. I'm an asshole. Carrie loves me. She knows me. This is all just a stupid phase. Doesn't every guy feel like they like another guy at one point? I can't act on it, I'm not gay. I can't be. I've never felt it before, I don't understand why all of a sudden it would pop up on me like this. I'm looking way too much into it.

When we pull up to the oriental restaurant, I see Maureen and Mark sitting at a table inside. They are deep in conversation, Maureen laughing hysterically at almost everything Mark is saying. He looks comfortable, his camera fit perfectly between his hands, and elbows situated on top of the red table. He's wearing the scarf I bought him a couple weeks ago, the last time I saw him. I've tried so hard to find him at school, but there are too many fucking people. I think about if I should just ditch Carrie, or follow her with pride. After not seeing Mark for a while, I'm afraid he'll think I've been ignoring him. In a small way I have. I just don't want to make things more awkward. Before my mind can twist around it anymore, I feel Carrie's hand grasp my shoulder.

"You coming?" She asks after I sit motionless for a while, staring at Mark through the window.

"Umm…I don't know." I mumble, shrugging back onto the driver's seat. Her eyes roll condescendingly as she mopes at me.

"Please Roger? We have never actually had a real date! You owe me this!" She stares up at me lovingly, and I reluctantly nod my head.

"Fine." I sigh, and see a huge smile spread across her face. I meet my lips with her cheek gently, and she giggles with joy. I don't see how this could be a date if all she's going to do is ignore me the entire time. She's the reason Mark and I hung out in the first place.

"Hi!" Maureen screeches as Carrie runs to give her a huge hug. Mark smiles kindly at both of us, meeting my eyes quickly and hesitantly. Suddenly I realize that I can't stay here. I can't hang out with Mark. I know I'm going to fuck myself up. I can't take it.

"Hey." He says, and I smirk sadly in reply, almost apologizing for what I'm about to say.

"Hey, I'm not staying. I just wanted to walk Carrie in. Sorry man." I panic, and give a brief wave to Carrie as I walk out the door. Sweat covers my body, and the cold wind that rushes towards me doesn't help. My hands roughly rub my temples, and I try to ignore Mark calling me in the background.

"Roger!" He yells, and before I know it, his hand is resting on my shoulder. I turn slowly to see his red face behind me, frowning with disappointment. I bet he was looking forward to seeing me. To tell the truth I want to hang out with him, but I'm afraid. Afraid of rejection again. I can't take liking him, but being denied…it just adds to my confusion. "Hey…what was that about? You don't wanna see me or something?" He gets right to the point, making me laugh uncomfortably.

"It's not that I didn't wanna see you…it's just…since last time it's been…I don't know. I'm just tired. I just…I can't…" My voice sputters out of my mouth slowly but surely, leaving a baffled look on Mark's face. After a few tries at an explanation, I finish with a laugh. "I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying." His head drops with a chuckle after I shut up, and I blush at how damn cute he is.

"It really doesn't sound like it." He agrees, and I quickly glance back at my car. Talking to Mark has gotten me thinking that I want to stay. That I want to be confused. That it's all right to like him. Even though he doesn't like me. Maybe I should just go for it. Just do it. Do what I want. I don't know what I have to lose. A friend? But I want to be more than Mark's friend.

"Mark, I'm sorry."

"For what?" He backs away only a centimeter, but I'm still able to notice. I build up the courage to make a move, even though I know it's going to turn out horrendously.

"For ignoring you."

"Well you didn't…"

"Yes I did. After the last time we saw each other I got scared and I didn't know how to…act around you anymore. I've never felt this way around…I didn't know…shit…" I sigh, knowing that I've lost my concentration once again.

"Roger, it's okay. You don't have to be so scared around me. I thought after what we said that you'd want to…well…that you'd be more comfortable around me. I thought we were…" His eyes stare intently at the sidewalk beneath him, under his worn green tennis shoes and dirty shoelaces. "Would you be mad?" He springs out of nowhere, and I dig my hands in my pocket to try to stay warm.

"Mad about what?" My hair blows in the light breeze, making it just cold enough to develop goose bumps on my clammy skin.

"If I…kissed…you." He stutters, and I feel a breath catch in my throat. He wants to kiss me? I open my mouth to answer when his lips collide briefly with mine, soft and gentle, yet affirming. Once he's able to break from me, I pull him roughly back, not letting him resist. The kiss is awkward, but I feel a connection. We're both sure we want it. My skin discovers every part of his, hugging his bottom lip tight in my mouth. Hands appear suddenly on my waist, pulling me tighter into Mark's body. My back hits the side of my car, and I steady myself on it, leaning back to make things more comfortable.

"No…" I sigh as we separate, trying to stay as close as possible to him. His fingers remain tangled in my belt loops, holding on for dear life.

"I was so afraid you would push me away…" He presses his forehead to mine, and I close my eyes in contentment. Why did I deny this all along? It feels so right to kiss him, to let him know that I like him too. Then the fog clears from my cloudy mind. Carrie.

"Shit, Mark." I curse, and almost whine at the prospect of moving from our comforting position.

"What?" The lines on his forehead wrinkle in confusion, until I casually glance over at the Chinese restaurant. There is no way the girls would have seen us, but they are there. They are why we can't do this.

"Carrie is my girlfriend. I shouldn't have kissed you Mark."

"I kissed you." He snaps back jokingly, trying to make me seem like the good guy. It's so adorable, that I can't help but lean forward to peck him on the mouth again.

"Now I kissed you." I smirk, and gently untangle from his grip. "Let's go." I pull him along to the restaurant, enjoying the feel of our fingers grasped together, for I have to let go once the girls are in sight. We can't risk the slightest bit of a clue about what we have just done.

"Wait." Mark stops me in the middle of the sidewalk, keeping our hands connected.

"Huh?"

"So, we're just going to ignore what happened? Just go back to our lunch and forget about this?"

"What else can we do?"

"I don't know…I…" He stumbles lightly over his words, and now I recognize this insecure Mark.

"Look. Maybe one day I'll tell Carrie, but not now. Not until I know what I feel isn't just…"

"Fake?" He finishes my sentence, and I sadly nod. It hurts me to say I'm not sure I should be making decisions like this. "All right. I guess…I mean…does this mean you're gonna go back to ignoring me?" His eyes look up at me, so sweet and tender. I would give anything to kiss him again, but I've given in too much today. I shouldn't have kissed him back in the first place. Not when I knew I couldn't do anything about it. Now I've just gone and confused him as well.

"No, of course not. We're just friends. Kay?" I ask, desperately wishing for him to agree. Being rejected as a friend would add to my insecurity.

"I suppose." He accepts it, and we finally make our way into the restaurant. This is going to be a long lunch.

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Notes: That seemed like it went too fast? Hmm…what do you think? Was it okay? Review and tell me! PS…Sorry to Carrie…I think I kind of stole the last line from her. So copyright to Carrie! XD Love you guys!