Chapter 73:

Carter was at the admit desk when he had asked for Doug. He finally saw him with crutches. "Hey Doug" Carter said to him, he needed to talk to him

Anna popped her head into the exam room that Susan was in, "Hey I need a caffeine break, and uhm there's someone I need to talk to... can you handle this?"

Doug looked up at him and grinned. "Hey chief what's up...glad to see you're feeling better." he said looking back at the computer.

Susan nodded. "Yeah it's pretty slow; ill give you a holler if I need you."

Anna walked back to the admit desk, surprised to see Carter standing there, "Hey Carter. Guess your busy now, so I'll uhm, just go myself then." Damn it she really wanted to talk to him.

"Yeah, but I think I screwed up with Abby" he said to him, his arm still in a cast.

Doug rolled his eyes. "I am not the one to talk to on relationship advice Carter..." Doug watched Anna walk away. He didn't know if she wanted to talk to him or Carter. "She loves you. Trust me."

Anna grabbed her coat and stopped at the admit desk, "hey Doug..." She said looking down at the ground, "I'm going over to doc's I need some caffeine really bad and well, I know your busy with Carter, but if you...oh hell can you come with me?"

Doug looked up at Carter. He could tell he wanted to talk to him. "John, you want to get drinks tonight?" he shifted his attention back over to Anna. "I'll meet you there. Just give me a few minutes ok?"

"Sure that would be great Doug" Carter said to him. "And Anna later maybe we can talk" he said to her.

Anna pulled her coat around her, "yeah." She said as she slowly made her way over to docs. She found a booth not far from the door and sat down. She had the waitress bring her a cup of coffee as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She couldn't ever remember being this tired and she had another, she looked at her watch 19 hours to go assuming that she didn't have to work at County tomorrow morning again. She closed her eyes back shut again. What did Carter want to talk to her about; she had enough on her mind as it was with out worrying about that. She needed to get back on track... get things sorted out...there was no fix for this...at least not one that she could think of...god how could she have been so stupid...she blew her one shot at being happy.

It took Doug a few minutes to get across the street but he did. "What does Anna have to talk to me about now?" he thought as he walked into docs. He saw her at a booth and winced as he sat down. All this moving was making him tired and sore. He sat down and looked at Anna for a second. After she didn't say something to him he decided to start. "What's up Anna?" he asked flatly.

She sat up a little straighter and played with her coffee cup. "Look there's no reason to beat around the bush here I guess, where do we stand Doug, do I need to get the rest of my stuff from your house, give you you're keys back? I know that you didn't tell Abby to say that stuff to me, but I know why she said it."

Doug rolled his eyes; he really didn't want to do this now. "Anna. We're both tired. If we talk about this now we are both going to say something stupid...why don't we just..." Doug had to pause before saying it. He didn't want her to take this the wrong way. "Take a break for a little bit. It'll give us both some time to think about what we want." Doug rubbed his face and set his head in his hands. He didn't know what was best for them right now. He just didn't want to get into another fight and avoiding conversations was the only way he knew to deal with it.

She was silent for a minute, "yeah sure a break." She downed the hot coffee instantly regretting it. "Why don't you put me on nights in the ER okay, I don't mind working them and that way there's a peds there all the time. I will be switching to days over at Northwestern anyway." She threw some money down on the table, "as for saying something I'll regret I already have. I might as well live up to my reputation." She turned and set the key that she had to the house back on the table. "You don't have worry about it. Take all the time that you need. I came to close to actually killing you that time. When I found you and you weren't breathing and your heart wasn't breathing I wanted to die right there, but you know what you're fine now and that's all that matters. I have to get back to work before Weaver finds out I've been away."

Doug stared straight ahead as she stood up. He didn't want his key back, he didn't want her out of his life, and he just needed a few days to get better. Why was he impossible in relationships? This one felt like it was actually going to work and then in one instant was shot to hell. He knew nothing he could say was going to bring her back right now. After a few days he would try again. Doug's hand shot out to touch hers before she left. He didn't even realize he had done it until he felt her skin. "What'd i tell ya?" he asked looking up at her. "It's my special gift...impossible relationships."

She sat back down, "no, please we are not impossible Doug. I'm not giving up; I am not walking away from you. You said you wanted to take a break...I was trying to respect that. Besides god only knows what would happen if I didn't stay away from you until you were better," she ran her hands under her eyes. "I mean the bathtub at the hotel, I cracked your head open...and now this...you can call me anytime you need someone to talk to, I'll always have time for you, okay well maybe not for the next 19 hours because I fell off my rocker and decided to play super doc. I meant it when I said that I love you and I need you."

Doug couldn't help but smile at Anna's joke. "Yeah i know" he said playing with the napkin on the table. "I just don't know what to say to you anymore...whatever, you better get back to work superman. I'd hate to make you loose you're mind and your job. If you see Carter tell him I went home, and I'm sorry but I don't feel like going out tonight." Doug didn't want to get up first. He knew it would hurt and she would see it on his face. The last thing he needed was pity from her. That's why he was weary of jumping back into something with her, even though he wouldn't say it. He just didn't know if the real reason she was sorry was because he was hurt or if she loved him.

She stood up to head back to the ER. "Just take it easy there superman. And they said that I was impatient. You would have never let me get away with this. Oh and don't smoke all my cigarettes that I left in the glove box... that's my stash." She stood at the end of the booth for a minute. She leaned over and kissed the top of his head, and whispered in his "Remember that no matter what life is uncertain but the one thing that is certain is that I love you." She gave him a small wink before she headed outside and darted back towards the hospital.

Anna's comment made Doug grin. He'd get over it, he had to. After a second he went to get up and made his way outside. Doug decided it was best to call a taxi. A $15 dollar back ride later he was back at his house and on his couch. KU was playing LSU so he lay down to watch the game. Maybe he was wrong for thinking that she just felt bad, but he wouldn't ever know. The last thing he remembered was them breaking up in the car before he jammed on the breaks...then he was alone in the hospital. "Whatever, I'll figure it out" he told himself out loud. He always did this. When things got good with someone he looked for reasons to end it...his fear of commitment kicking in. Doug looked at his watch, it was just barely noon. Although he hated the thought of staying at home the whole day he needed to. After Kentucky pulled ahead Doug closed his eyes just for a moment, and fell asleep.

Anna went back into the ER. She went into the lounge and called Northwestern and found someone to cover for her. She really didn't feel like putting in another 12 hours or like going home to an empty apartment. She went back to work. She was going thru the mail in her box. She opened up an envelope and instantly knew it was from her brother... courtside bulls next week and passes to the players club. She scribbled a quick note telling him to have fun with them and threw them into Doug's box. She hadn't turned down a bull's game in a long time. She glanced up at the clock, took a couple more patients and finally bumped into Susan at the admit desk. She only had a couple more hours left. "Hey there, I was wondering does that offer for drinks still stand." She asked as she placed a chart in the discharge rack. "I am free tonight after all and I don't want to go home." She smiled, "if you promise to make sure that I get home in one piece, girls night out, drinks are on me." Maybe going out she would be able to at least for a little while forget about everything that was going on. Get her mind of the mess that she had made out of her relationship with Doug. As much as she wanted to believe that they stood a chance, the conversation over at Doc's didn't go well at all. She might as well try to avoid him the next few days... give them a break from each other. Maybe when he was feeling better, better from the car accident that was her fault...she might not have been driving but if she hadn't picked that exact moment to come clean with him they wouldn't' have been arguing, he wouldn't have been upset and distracted. Trust and honesty weren't exactly up her alley right now. Maybe he was right, that after walking away from her marriage with Max, no matter how hard she tried she was never going to be happy. Four years of lying and hiding had taken their toll on her. While there might not have been any scars on the outside, there were plenty on the inside.

Susan smiled at Anna. "Sure she said signing a chart."Just let me finish up here with this last patient and I'm all yours. You have any place in mind to go to?" Susan was always up for a fun night out and she could tell Anna needed it.

Susan laughed as she walked to her last patient. "You kidding! I live for karaoke!" Susan quickly wrote a script for her patient and emerged. "Is this casual or are we going to try and pick up guys?" he asked looking down at her own outfit. "I need to know for style reasons." she joked

Anna looked down at her own scrubs, "Oh this outta attract guys." Doug briefly crossed her mind, "oh hell let's go have some fun and find some men. My apartment is just down the street, so if you want I can meet you at yours or we can meet someplace else." She wasn't sure if this is what she should be doing...but it was his idea for them to take a break not hers.

"Alright..." Susan said. "Well give me the address of this place and ill meet you there. I am going to take the el since i will undoubtedly be consuming some alcohol..." he joked grabbing her jacket. "I'm glad you decided to take tonight off, this should be fun."

"Okay I can meet you there." Anna picked up a piece of paper and wrote the address down. "Here if either of us gets to out of it, you can always crash at my place since it's not far." She grabbed her coat and threw it on. She walked out of the ER. She was actually looking forward to going out. It would give her a chance to get to know Susan better. She pulled her coat tighter against her body as the wind was blowing now. She walked up the stairs to her apartment and walked in. She turned up the heat noticing that it was cold in there. She had dumped her clothes all over the floor this morning as she sorted thru trying to find something to wear. She finally settled on the good old stand by, the little black dress. She started the shower and looked at herself in the mirror. She had small bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She shed her scrubs and climbed into the shower letting the hot water run over her. She found her mind drifting back to the fight in the car. No they had broke up, she was pretty sure of that. She climbed out and flicked her stereo on to break the silence of the apartment and to keep her mind from wandering anymore as she put on her make up and got dressed. After finally deciding to leave her hair down she walked out and found a jacket that didn't look to stupid with her dress. She picked up her keys and headed down to the bar. She walked inside and found a table to wait for Susan. She couldn't help it, her mind wandered back to Doug. He wouldn't want her sitting at home; surely he wouldn't be upset that she had gone out with Susan. It was his idea take a break, they never actually said that they were exclusive. Now was not the time to be worrying about this. She wanted to have a good time and not drag Susan down with her problems; she had listened to her enough. She was going to forget about things. She didn't think that anyone would actually hit on her. Matt, the bartender was a friend of hers thru her brothers, he came over and Anna struck up a small conversation with him, before she asked him to bring her a sex on the beach. He brought it over to her and then went back behind the bar. The place wasn't crowded, but then she didn't expect it to be in the middle of the week.