A/N: Oh jeez, after two days of staying home sick from school, I am ready to begin my recovery. I just want to thank all the reviewers, and say I'm sorry that I'm not one of those people who respond to every review. I have three stories out right now, and any extra time I have is spent writing. So believe me, I appreciate ALL of the reviews. You guys keep me going. Thanks a bunch! In this chapter I add yet another OC, so I'm sorry for that, but they have friends. Accept it people! I'm sure you'll like her.
Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson's.
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Roger's POV
The car stops in front of our tall, gray school and I hear Carrie giggle quietly next to me. She seems to be almost one hundred times more excited than I am. I rest my palms on my legs, and turn off the ignition.
"So, should we go in?" I ask, turning to face the three occupants of my vehicle. Maureen smiles and nods, Carrie rolls her eyes, and Mark's bea…
"Of course we should stupid. Come on." Carrie grasps my wrist in her hand, pulling me uncomfortably and awkwardly out of her door. Maureen laughs at her forcefulness, but I'm used to it. I'm usually told what to do by Carrie. She's almost more commanding than my own mother. Dinner was repetitive, avoiding Mark's eyes, trying to keep my focus on Carrie the entire time. I've fallen into an endless pit of denial. Denying my true feelings for Mark, for Carrie, and about who I am. Every time I see Mark my head spins, I feel so happy deep down, so comfortable whenever we talk. It was so stupid of me to start something with Carrie when I knew I don't really like her that way. I guess I just needed comfort and safety. I need to know that someone likes me. That was before Mark came into my life.
"Ready?" Mark whispers quietly before we enter, and I turn to smile at him, simultaneously taking a deep breath in. Maureen taps him on the shoulder, and his lips drop to a frown as he turns around to greet her. "No…I don't think so…" I hear him say, after she asks him for the millionth time if she looks fat. Carrie beams with anticipation as she hitches our arms around one another, the skin of her glistening arm against the rough fabric of my jacket. As she leads me inside, I hear Mark sigh behind me. In the back of my head I wish he were my date instead.
The school seems warmer than usual, crowded with students and their dates; everyone dressed up in formal wear. I don't recognize a lot of them for two reasons. I don't know half the people in our school, and the half I do know I've never seen all prettied up before. Our school is so big that I see a new person in the hall everyday. The gymnasium is quite dark, and I can only make out that there is one huge mob of people dancing. The details are unknown. There's a tint blue to the room, lights and glitter adding to the undersea effect.
Music beats loudly in my ears, some kind of music I sure as hell would never listen to, let alone dance to. Then again, I wouldn't dance to any kind of music. Students crowd around me as we make our way to the center of the gym, surrounded by crude dance moves and locked lips everywhere we look. Carrie unhitches from my arm and joins in with the festivities, slinging her arms around my neck and flashing me a huge smile. My eyes desperately search for Mark and Maureen as we sway back and forth, not exactly in synch with the music. At last, I spot Maureen, but she is with someone taller than Mark. His dark hair is slicked back with more grease than necessary, almost dripping from the top of his head.
"Who is Maureen dancing with?" I scream in Carrie's ear, over the blasting music, and she turns to sneak and peek at Maureen. She faces me once again and frowns.
"I don't know. I think it's James. You know that senior she likes?" I shake my head in answer to her question, finding it absurd that she thinks I know about Maureen like that. I guess Maureen does seem like someone who would ditch Mark two minutes into the dance.
"What about Mark?" I refuse to let the topic go, not wanting to leave Mark alone in a corner somewhere while Carrie and I dance carelessly.
"I don't know Roger. But he probably figured this would happen. Maureen can never keep her eyes on one guy." She raises her eyebrows, and then lies her head back against my shoulder. The song turns slower, and I shut my eyes to listen. Carrie disappears from my grip, and Mark appears there. His nervous fingers dance on my back, his blond hair lightly brushing against my face. I open my eyes excitedly, expecting to see Mark gripping his arms around my neck, but to my dismay, Carrie hasn't moved an inch. Damn imagination.
"Car, I'm gonna go get a drink. I'll be right back." Her mouth opens wide in shock, probably because I haven't even danced for a full five minutes yet. I move slowly away from her, our arms still attached for as long as they can be, until I finally break free. I feel horrible for leaving her there so soon. I wouldn't be surprised if she started dancing with another guy now. I probably deserve it.
I make my way over to the table of snacks, drinks and knick-knacks. Through the crowd of teens I'm able to grasp a cup of something with my fingers. Unfortunately, it looks like some sort of blue gunk. Maybe punch. I don't really want to taste it to find out. I'd rather just put it back. Sure enough, two minutes later, I'm stealthily setting the plastic cup back down. No one seems to notice in the rush for a beverage, and I move away as quickly as I can. Walking backwards appears to be harder than I thought, and before I know it, I'm apologizing to the person behind me for ramming into them.
"Jesus, sorry. I didn't realize…" I turn around to see big eyes staring back at me. "Katie?" I ask, squinting through the darkness of the gym.
"Rogy?" She squeals, immediately jumping into my arms. "Baby I haven't seen you in ages!" Our laughs mix together, leaving the guy I assume to be her date alone and confused.
"I know. Why are you here? I thought you went somewhere in the city!" I let her drop down from my grip, and I'm finally able to see her dark green, strapless gown. Katie has always been a knock out. Even when we were little.
"Well…I did, but we just moved back here recently. I don't think I'm gonna be going here, probably some religious school. My parents rule my life like that. The only reason I'm here is because of my lovely boyfriend…" She drags the lonely guy into her arms, squeezing him tightly while he squirms in her grip. "Roger this is Tom. Tom, this is my friend Roger. We were friends when we were little." I grasp his hand firmly, trying to make out his face. He seems to have some acne, something I've never really had trouble with. His hair is blond, and he's tall. Taller than me. He almost looks like a football player. His suit fits tightly to his body, probably too small for him, but a last minute perfect fit. He doesn't seem like a guy who would be into dances. Katie probably made him come so she could attend at least one dance this year.
"Nice to meet you man." I yell over the music, which has turned back to shitty, loud fluff of rock.
"We're in the same physics class aren't we?" He comments, and I think back to school. I sit in the front, and most of the I time pay attention to the teacher, very unlike me, not really caring about anyone else who is in class with me.
"Yea sure." I scream, lying my ass off and wanting to get back to reminiscing with Katie. Katie and I met when I was only six or seven, and we were best friends right away. Our parents were friends, and we weren't really forced into playing together, it just happened. Like Carrie, I've never really been interested in dating Katie, just being her friend. In a way she is like my little sister. We would ride our bikes to the nearest park, see movies whenever I felt up to the task and pretty much do anything we could to avoid our parents. On hot summer nights we would set up a tent, lie back and watch the stars while complaining about school, parents or what we were going to do someday. She was my first female friend, and in a way it helped me connect with girls more. I think I owe Katie a lot of what I have today. Then, a couple years ago she informed me that her family was moving permanently to Long Island, leaving me alone in this shitty town. Like a twist of fate, a couple weeks later I met Carrie. From then on, Katie and I have exchanged calls every once and a while, but I haven't seen her in almost a year.
"Roger, I'm having a party at our new house tonight. After the dance. You should come. Bring some friends. You still friends with that Carrie girl?" Her auburn hair falls into her face, out of the perfect do it was up in before. She casually brushes it away, smiling gleefully at me. I can see that she had her braces removed, after two painful years with them on. Her teeth are now perfectly straight, different from the crooked and horrendous ones that used to be there. I laugh at her question, knowing how much she resents Carrie for taking her place. Little does she know that I'm now kind of dating her.
"Yes. We're kind of going out…a little. But I like someone…" I stop myself when I remember that Tom is there. I don't really feel comfortable telling things to Katie when Tom is hovering around her. I wonder if he's one of those boyfriends who gets in the way.
"Oh. Well congrats on the girlfriend. Is she here?" Katie elbows Tom in the stomach for some reason, probably groping, before breaking from his grip and looking around for Carrie.
"Yea she's here. We came with another couple too. I was actually looking for one of them. I don't know where he went." I take one quick glance around, skimming the crowd for Mark's blond hair and glasses, but I'm still unable to spot him. Maybe he's in the bathroom. That's where I would be if I wanted to avoid all of this.
"I hope you find him sweetie. Well…are you gonna come to the party?" Her eyes light up as she grasps my hands in her, the bracelets around her wrist clanking lightly together.
"Yea sure. Why not? I'd like to see your new house. And I'm sure Carrie will have fun. Is it okay if our friends come too?" I try to slip Mark into the plans, hoping that she will allow strangers to occupy her new house.
"Yea, anyone you want baby. As long as there's no sex on my bed. Or any other bed for that matter. Can you contain yourself?" She giggles, and my mind snaps to Mark. I really need to find him. I'm starting to get antsy.
"I think so. But I can't make any promises." In the middle of our conversation Tom leaves, probably sick of Katie shoving him away and refusing his advances to fuck on the dance floor. I take the opportunity to talk to her about something I haven't been able to mention to anyone else. I have a feeling she could help me more than anyone. "Kate?" I pull her to the side of the gym, leaning against the black concrete wall.
"Mhmm?" She mumbles, and I can tell she's still steaming with anger from her boyfriend's absence.
"Could I ask you something? Something…private?" My heart begins to beat faster, pounding almost outside of my chest. I can't believe I'm about to actually ask someone this. But missing Mark right now has really got me confused.
"Anything." Her green eyes smile back at me, and I take a deep breath.
"What would you do…if you think you liked one of your friends…but they are sort of off limits. I mean, it wouldn't be a regular relationship. Plus…you have a boyfriend, and so does he. I mean…" I bury my face in my hands, frustrated and wanting to just spill out the entire truth. "Katie. I like someone. But I don't know if it would work. I don't want to wreck what I have with Carrie, and…I've never felt this way about…someone like him…someone like this before." My lips clasp tightly together, as Katie's eyes open widely. A huge smile spreads across her face quickly, and a blush comes over mine. I hope to God she doesn't squeal loud enough to draw attention to herself.
"Rogy! Aww…sweetheart. You like a guy? That is so ado…" I hastily cover her mouth with my hand and continue.
"Don't do that. I'm serious. I don't know if I should do something about it. I mean we've already…kissed but…" She's able to pry her way out of my cover, excitedly jumping up and down giddily.
"You kissed him? Roger! That is so cute! Do it! Go for it!" She grasps onto my shoulders, shaking me lightly to convince me. Somehow I knew this would happen. She's not seeing the seriousness of the situation.
"I can't. What about Carrie?"
"Honey. Do you really think that you and Carrie are that seriously in love that she would be mad about this whole thing? If she really does love you like a friend, she will understand." Her smile is so understanding and loving. Even though we haven't seen each other and forever, I feel like she never left. And maybe she's right. If Carrie really cares for me, she would want me to be happy. Plus she never wants to call me her boyfriend. Are we really even dating?
"You're right. I mean I never truly asked her out in the first place. We are more friends than we are dating." My mind swims with desperate thoughts of Mark. I could do so many things right now if I just knew where he scurried off to. I don't blame him I guess…Maureen didn't leave me very happy either with her whorish display.
"I know I am!" Katie squeals, barely able to control herself with glee.
"I…thank you. I have to go find Mark." I say, but before I can leave, she pulls me back to her.
"Wait. The party. Meet me back here at the end of the dance and I'll give you directions. Kay?"
"All right. Thank you Kate." I leave her with one last smile before I begin to search the gym one final time. Then I remember. The bathroom. My feet almost run themselves out of the doors to the gymnasium and out to the men's bathroom. I stop at the entrance, for some odd reason my stomach has just filled with a million butterflies. I can't believe I'm actually going to do something about this. This something that has been filling my head for the past month and a half. I shut my eyes to ready myself, and push harshly against the wooden door.
There Mark sits, on the porcelain countertop, staring blankly at his dress shoes. His legs dangle off the side, kicking casually back and forth with the ticking of the clock against the wall. There is only one other kid in there with us, washing his hands slowly, and I wait for him to leave before approaching Mark. I jump up onto the counter next to him, and at last he notices I'm here.
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Notes: Jesus! That took a fricken long time to write. I am sooo sorry for the long wait for this chapter. But I hope you liked Katie, and yes. I hope everything is good. Review please and make me a happy camper! I'm hoping to update again by Wednesday because I was so evil to you guys. I just kind of fell behind. Don't hate me. XD Thanks!