In The Core: Interlude IV
Matt sits at the edge of the fountain with his legs tucked up beneath him. He's only been back at Toronto General for a single night, but he remembers how easily hours turn to months in this place. He can already feel himself dissolving back into his hospital gown. The staff have told him numerous times that he isn't here for treatment. Matt can't make himself believe that.
He doesn't know if he truly believes any of what he's been told here.
It doesn't feel real that anyone's gone, that there was an attack on one of them when they're supposed to be safe. Matt wraps his arms more tightly around his middle but it's not the cold that makes him shiver. Out of all of the things he's had to fear since leaving The Cut, death has long stopped being one of them.
In the past months death has gone from a near-comfort to simply neutral. He doesn't want to die, in fact Matt doesn't believe he ever wanted to. The Cut proved that last year. Even in the face of loss, in the face of realizing that the world didn't just want to hide him but wanted to destroy him. Even then, Matt fought to live.
Matt killed to live.
Life outside the set isn't easy, actually it's the hardest thing he's ever gone through. The one thing it's supposed to be is safe.
He doesn't know how to process the fact that it isn't. Elise is dead and four of the other Winners are unaccounted for. Toronto General, his personal hell for more months than he can count, has so quickly become his only sanctuary.
Guiliana and Alexis are here with him, but he doesn't know how to talk to them. He didn't know Elise like they did. Matt feels like just looking them in the eye will be the wrong thing because he's not truly part of them. He met them just seven months ago while they've had years to understand one another. The way they clung to each other following the news of Elise's passing only cemented that fact. Anything he can think to say to them feels like it'll be disingenuous.
They're all mourning, but his grief feels different - separate. That's why he's out in the garden instead of another common space or even his own room. Matt doesn't know what he'll say to either of them if they come to check on him. This is the only area they don't seem to frequent; the only place he feels like he can be both safe and alone.
"I thought I might find you here."
Matt flinches up towards the voice and is almost relieved to see the familiar white coat standing beside him. He hadn't heard anyone come in. He should have been paying better attention - what if it'd been Guiliana? Alexis?
He nods. It's the only response he can think to give and probably the only one Dr. Liu expects. It's been almost two weeks since their last check-in. Matt could probably count on one hand how many words he said during that call. That never seems to bother the doctor.
"How are you doing, Matthew?" Dr. Liu asks as he sits down a few feet away. "It's been a busy couple of days to say the least."
Matt shrugs but his gaze doesn't lift from the fountain. The way he speaks about this feels so different from last night when he delivered the devastating news. There's a sorrowful, almost purposefully so, tone to his words but it's as slippery as the fountain rocks. Truthfully, Matt doesn't think he could answer the question if he wanted to. Not enough time has passed to understand how he's supposed to feel right now.
"I'd been meaning to talk to you," Dr. Liu begins again when it's obvious he isn't going to reply. He reaches a hand forward into Matt's vision. He has the almost overwhelming urge to pull himself further away. "About your trip to Winnipeg a few months back."
The blood drains immediately from Matt's cheeks and for a moment he firmly believes he's going to vomit right into the water. He turns away, forcing the expression on his face to be neutral but he doubts it works. Is this where he says it's time for treatment to restart? Is he going to be moved from the boarding rooms to a hospital bed? Worse? Matt's spent six of the last twelve months here. At what point do the staff decide it's not working? What happens past that?
A million thoughts run through his mind at once. Matt tells himself to deny it, to repeat the story that he said last time. Dinah told him it was normal to want to run away but that it wouldn't solve his internal struggles. It seemed to be what everyone wanted to believe had happened. No one had mentioned the real reason he'd traveled so far, especially not Matt.
"I was reviewing some of the extra footage," he continues. "You've adjusted well but I'm always trying to improve our strategies especially now. I want to understand you."
Matt hears the underlying meaning - I want to understand why you're not getting better. Stagnancy has become as much of a theme as silence in their calls. Matt hasn't given them another reason to bring him back to treatment. He does as he's asked but nothing more. It's been nearly a month since he last touched canvas.
In comparison, the other Winners are doing so much better. Calvin was guest of honour at another award ceremony last week, Mina published her newest collection, and Zoe even finished her game this month. Matt locked his half-finished painting in the garage three weeks ago and hasn't looked at it since.
"I know you wanted to fulfill your promise," Dr. Liu says gently. "It was brave to go all that way, and admirable to remember the young boy after all this time. My only question is why you didn't go through with it."
Matt swallows and his eyes raise to meet him for the first time. He searches the doctor's expression but as always it's impossible to decipher. The words feel like a trap but the longer he stares the more paranoid that thought seems. Dr. Liu already knows what he was doing. If he was in trouble, he'd already be back in the ward.
He opens his mouth but shakes his head. Dr. Liu nods his understanding and places a gentle hand on Matt's shoulder. "Calvin stopped you, didn't he?"
Matt nods despite himself. It feels immediately wrong, like he's throwing a friend under the bus when it is in fact what happened. Calvin picked him up at the airport and gave him no option but to abandon his mission to Rainy River. Calvin said that the network would find him and punish him for even trying to deliver Bear's message. That's exactly what happened less than twelve hours after Matt got off that flight.
"I wonder why," Dr. Liu muses and his hand drops from his shoulder back to the edge of the fountain. "We wouldn't have stopped you, Matthew. All you had to do was ask."
This doesn't make sense. If they wouldn't have stopped him then how did Matt end up back at treatment? Matt's eyes drop back to the water and he tells himself that the doctor's lying.
But why would he lie?
"Would you like us to get a message to his family?"
Matt looks up again, unable to keep the surprise from flashing across his eyes. For a moment he considers it. As long as the message reaches Bear's family, his promise is done. Matt can stop thinking about it, stop remembering the one thing that should've happened months ago. Just as quickly, the excitement fades.
The doctor is not someone he can trust.
"I'd like to do it myself." The words are quiet but final. Matt glances up and tries to give an appreciative smile. Dr. Liu watches him for another minute before nodding his understanding.
"That could take some time," he sighs. "It's not exactly safe out there right now."
He swallows. There's a dozen questions Matt could ask in response but it's hard to push even one of them forward. Dr. Liu has never not answered him, but whether his answers are truthful is much harder to decipher. "Who would want to hurt us?"
Dr. Liu looks down and for a moment he wonders if he'll answer this time. Finally, his eyes lift back to Matt's and he doesn't think he's imagining the layer of tears glazed across them. "Rebels. They're hurting you to get to us. That's why you have to stay here, it's the only place we can keep you safe right now."
Matt sucks in a shaking breath. "And the others?"
"We'll find them." He reaches forward and puts his hand over Matt's with a gentle squeeze. "I promise."
Guiliana waits at the entrance to the ward as the guard fumbles with their keys. She'd hoped to bring Matt with her tonight, but he didn't answer when she knocked. An hour was as long as she could make herself wait outside his door to see if he'd just gone for a walk or something. Since they're not here for treatment, the routine is a lot different. Guiliana is still getting used to the small amount of freedom she has here.
The ward she's staying in doesn't look all that different, but the security measures certainly do. She has free reign of the floor her and Matt have been assigned to as well as guards to take her to several other places in the hospital. Many of them appear to have not been touched since the last time she was here. The room where she spent hours with a theater coach is still set up for the last scene they'd been working on over a year ago.
Exploring takes the edge off. It makes Guiliana feel less trapped than she knows she is. It helps keep her mind off all of the places it wants to wander to.
As selfish as it might be, it makes it easy to pretend that nothing bad could happen to her. She hasn't forgotten any of what she's recently learned. There's still a dozen times an hour that Guiliana pauses as tears threaten to pour down her cheeks like a broken faucet. She knows they're not safe. She knows one of her best friends is gone. She knows that many of the others are still missing.
This is the best way she knows how to deal with hard things. If Guiliana keeps spinning she won't fall and if she keeps running the grief won't be able to tackle her to the ground. She won't forget, she can't forget, but she needs to be strong. There are people here that need her. Alexis is still in treatment and visits are harder to arrange. Matt has only been off the set for a year.
They need her. She needs to be whole for them.
That's the choice Guiliana has to make right now.
She hopes that Elise will understand. She always seemed to, even in the moments where Guiliana was incapable of explaining. Wherever she is, whatever happens, she doesn't want her friend to think she's forgotten. She'll spend the rest of her life grieving if that's what she needs to do, but there are things she still needs to figure out first.
Guiliana doesn't trust what she's been told. She doesn't know what reason the network has to lie to them, but there's a memory she can't shake. She saw something when she woke up that morning to guards already entering her hotel room. It was only a preview of the message, but it was enough.
Weeks ago when Elise had sent her that phone number, Guiliana had saved it under the same name she'd been given. She knew it wasn't real, knew that this wasn't some script writing friend of Elise's. Truth be told, Guiliana didn't know where the number would go if she called it. It was a risk to keep it but she couldn't risk forgetting. If Elise gave it to her, it was important.
The message she'd gotten telling her to get to the back exit of the hotel, the same one that went on to say that she was in danger, was from that number.
And if Guiliana had to guess, that message was not from FFN.
So who else knew where she was? Who would've been at the back of the hotel waiting if Guiliana had made it there before the guards arrived? And most importantly, what were they trying to protect her from?
She has her suspicions, but at this point that's all they are. She doesn't have any answers and she isn't going to find them here. If she isn't allowed to leave, she might never have the chance to find out.
Guiliana is still deep in her thoughts as the guard leads her past a second door and through a winding hallway. She swallows down the lump in her throat, feeling the familiar disorientation when she turns around. All the doors look the same and in either direction the hallway seems to go on forever.
They pause in front of the door and the guard nods to Guiliana. She lets out a slow breath and knocks timidly, then again with a little more force. It feels like hours pass before a muffled voice comes from the other side and the guard finally pushes the door open.
Guiliana doesn't wait for an invitation. She measures her steps as slowly as she can manage, but within seconds she throws her arms around her friend. Tears are almost immediate as Alexis welcomes the embrace and the pair cling to each other. It feels like days have gone by since they last saw one another when truthfully it's been only hours.
"I can give you a moment if you'd like." Guiliana tenses at the familiar voice and turns quickly to find Dinah sitting at the corner of the room. She swallows, glancing back at Alexis with a worried frown. Besides Dr. Liu and the guards, staff don't generally enter their rooms, at least not from her experience. There'd always been people to bring Guiliana to the various offices.
"Please," Alexis says softly and Dinah nods. They wait in silence as the woman rises from the chair until they can no longer hear her high heels behind the shut door. To Alexis' surprise, the guard leaves behind her. She hasn't been allowed out of their sight since she got here.
Alexis eases herself down on the edge of the bed and cradles one arm flat against the bandages beneath her clothes. She feels more vulnerable than she expected to, but forces her chin not to drop. She realizes that this is the first time anyone besides staff has seen her in a hospital gown.
Immediately, she wants to tell Guiliana to leave. It would be a ridiculous reaction after everything else that's happened, a selfish one even. Guiliana and the others are as much family as her biological one has been. Alexis knows they won't think less of her. Treatment is part of all of them, a horrible and normal part of life outside of The Cut.
Besides, there are far too many things weighing on both of their minds to think about much else. Alexis expects that Guiliana and Matt were given the same brief this afternoon that she was. There's no new information - none of the people responsible for the attack have been located but they're working around the clock. The network is going to find them but until then they'll be staying here.
Alexis doesn't want to think about the rest. She doesn't want to think about the funeral plans or the articles she was given to read but only stuffed under her mattress. All she wants to do is hijack one of the guards keys and take herself down to the lake. She wants to row until her legs give out and her arms feel like gelatin. She wants to forget anything that isn't the pumping of blood in her ears and deep breaths of fresh air. She wants to fall into such a deep sleep afterwards that she'll wake from to find everything back to how it should be.
Elise will still be in North Bay. Her best friends will still be only a text away. Alexis will be back in Nanaimo preparing for her next competition. No one will be gone. Everyone will be exactly where they should be and all the seams torn apart will be sewn back together.
She opens her mouth to speak, but can do little but turn away when the tears return. Guiliana grabs her hand and sits carefully beside her, resting her head gently on Alexis' shoulder. She wants to flinch away but forces herself to be still. She hopes the cameras watching them can see it.
Alexis isn't weak. She isn't as injured as they keep telling her. Everything can go back to the way it was just a week ago.
Even if it hurts.
Alexis doesn't care if it hurts because the thought that she's this weak is more sickening than any number of fractures. She's lived with this pain for weeks and it's been fine. The doctors told her when she arrived by MedEvac that she has four visible stress fractures and likely more too small to see. The only reason she couldn't get through practice was that one of them displaced and punctured her lung. That's been fixed already.
Another few days to recover from those sutures and Alexis should be able to go home. Except that's not their plan. They want to keep her here longer and they won't even tell her how long. There's a risk of another fracture displacing if it's not allowed to heal but so what? Alexis needs to go back. She needs this outlet especially now and the guards are keeping her from all of it. She's only been allowed out of her room once to meet the others at the garden yesterday morning.
She's going insane.
She isn't weak.
They can't keep trying to prove that she is.
If Alexis doesn't keep sprinting, rowing, swimming, something, then it's all going to catch up to her. It already is. She can feel the tension ripping at her muscles, tearing her apart when all she needs to do to stay whole is keep moving. She doesn't care that it's proof enough that she's falling apart here. She doesn't care that it gives every accusation of weakness more ground to hold.
If Alexis wasn't already feeling so ashamed, she'd beg Guiliana to talk to Dr. Liu for her. If there weren't already a million more important things sitting on her friend's shoulders she would consider pleading with her to help. Alexis tells herself that she isn't that desperate. She promises that she can prove to the staff that she's ready on her own.
She will never admit that they're right. There's no evidence in the world that could convince her - not the pain or the bandages or the memory of crying for help in the medical office when it felt like she was suffocating.
Alexis knows she sounds unwell, she can hear it in her own mind but she doesn't care. No one else needs to see it, no one else needs to know. She's strong enough to handle anything.
Movement pulls Val from fractured sleep. They lift their head quickly and squint as the overhead lights burn their groggy eyes. They're still sitting in the same plastic chair that they've been in the past couple of days. It doesn't take long for Val to realize what woke them.
"Rory?" They whisper. Val's hand instinctively reaches to shake her shoulder but drops quickly to the bed beside her. Levi, who wheeled Rory back after surgery, told them that she was given a hefty dose of pain medication in place of anesthesia. She's been asleep since but Val refuses to leave her side. They wanted to be here when she woke up. "Rory?"
Her head moves away from their voice, her face scrunching in discomfort, and Val can't help but start to panic. Have the drugs worn off already? Is she in pain? They look towards the door but it's just as closed - just as locked - as yesterday. Val grabs her hand and squeezes. They don't know what they're supposed to do when she wakes up. Levi said he'd be back before it happened.
Val stares desperately at the door. They don't know what to think about the people that have so far opened it, but right now they'd give anything to see Levi. Trust is a strong word. Val doesn't think they should trust anyone yet, not with Rory at the very least. On set, she was the apprehensive one; she was the one that kept one eye open to the possibility that something was wrong. The brain to their heart. It's what made them work and what took them as far as they went.
It's what brought them here - to a strange place where Val doesn't even know what they'd find if they were allowed outside. They don't remember much of the helicopter ride that brought them here. They weren't allowed to see the outside of what Levi's referred to as "The Towers". They don't know anything about this place, about these people. When Val had been pulled on board that helicopter, it hadn't mattered.
The pilot had promised to take them away from The Cut. He'd given Val bandages to press to Rory's injury and directed them through dressing it. Immediately Val had to trust him. The only other option was to let Rory die.
Val knows that as soon as she's strong enough to, she's going to kick them for being so fast to trust anyone. This time, they'll gladly take the hit.
"Fuck." The word escapes her lips so softly that Val almost believes they imagined it. Just as they've about convinced themself that they had, her eyes squint open in their direction.
"Are you awake?"
She groans as she struggles to adjust to the new brightness. Her entire body feels both like it's been hit by a truck and been dipped in a frozen lake. She moves to grab the blanket but finds it's already tucked up to her chin. Instead, she decides to curl her legs up but even attempting this brings a whole new wave of ache across her. All Rory wants to do is go back to sleep.
"I think so." She laughs flatly and grimaces as pain pulls at her chest. The memories are returning slowly but it only takes a few seconds to remember what happened. It's surprisingly hard to forget a surgery that you were even somewhat awake through.
Rory's hand gently moves across the stitches and is surprised by how many there are. There wasn't a lot of time to have the surgery explained to her before it happened. The doctor took long enough to fly in as it was and by the time he was set up the medication had already numbed her halfway to dreamland.
She grimaces again as she turns towards where Val is sitting. Despite hours no doubt passing since Rory last opened her eyes, they're still in the exact same spot. "You look awful."
She can't help but mimic the gentle smile that pulls across Val's face. "You should look in a mirror."
"Gladly." Rory tries her best to keep the chipper tone to her voice, but the dryness in her throat is hard to swallow. She can see in the heavy bags under their eyes how worried Val must have been about her. It's easier to joke about it now than to say what she really should. Rory might not remember everything or even much from the past few days. Still, she knows enough.
She knows that Val's the only reason she isn't a cold corpse in FFN's basement.
Even if it's not what Rory expected, she supposes she has to be thankful. The last concrete memory she has is pushing Val to the ground alongside a spattering of nearby gunfire. She remembers her thought in what she half-guessed would be her last moment. It's been the background music to her opioid dreams.
You have to live.
In the same breath, the adjacent sentiment also became true. It's okay if I don't.
She watches Val carefully as they reach for her hand, the only shivering part of her not encased fully in the thin sheets. She looks up and finds a bare mattress peeking out from the top bunk. That explains the extra layers. As soon as Val's fingers lock with hers, Rory pulls them in towards her.
They allow it until their shoulder is pressed against the side of the mattress. Rory wants them to come closer, not just because she's freezing but because right now she needs that comfort. As much as Val needs to know that she's okay, Rory needs for them to have the same comfort they've given her.
Before she can try, there's a gentle knock at the door. The pair turns towards it, Val wondering if they should rise to open it but whoever it is doesn't need the permission. The knock was only a small courtesy.
Val is only half-relieved to see Levi step inside. Besides one visit from the Commander, he's the only other person Val's seen since arriving here. The only walls they've seen since the blindfold was removed are the ones they're sitting between right now. Levi has become their only proof that anyone else even lives in The Towers.
"You're awake." The relief in Levi's tone is genuine as he approaches the bed. "How are you feeling?"
Rory watches him with apprehension. By the look on her face, Val isn't even sure if she remembers him. "This is Levi, he helped take care of you."
"I'm sorry," Levi says shyly. "I forgot you might not remember."
"It's fine," she whispers. Despite how natural their conversation flowed earlier, there's no ignoring the difference in her. She's even weaker now than she was during their last day on the set. They'd been able to tube feed her while she slept post-surgery but there's so much else she's still recovering from.
"This is a good sign right?" Val asks. "She's awake."
"Of course," Levi nods. "We're still going to monitor for any complications but everything went well this morning. I was actually just coming in to take a look at the incision site." His cheeks redden as he turns back to Rory. "I mean- if that's alright with you."
Her smile returns for a split second at his discomfort before she nods. Val is unsure where to look as Levi pulls the thin gown away from her chest. Eventually, they settle for the ceiling. It's only fair to offer her at least some semblance of privacy.
"There's a little bit of separation but it shouldn't be a big deal," Levi says finally. "You'll need to stay on bedrest for at least the next couple of weeks. We'll do dressing changes and I've looked into prophylactic antibiotics that should come tomorrow. Show me your hand."
Rory's eyes widen as she lifts the hand still tucked beneath the sheets, finding more dressings that she clearly doesn't remember. Levi uses a small pair of shears to cut away the bandage, revealing another trio of stitches beside her thumb. She looks up quickly at Val who tries a small smile. "It's probably good you didn't notice them."
She flinches as Levi spreads a thin layer of salve across the wound. "I wish I still hadn't."
"It'll heal fast," Levi promises. "I cleaned and stitched this one as soon as you got here."
"What happens after?" Rory asks. She looks first at Val but they redirect their gaze back to Levi. That's one question that they've been too afraid to ask. They were worried that if they dared think about what would happen once Rory recovered that perhaps she wouldn't. In fact, that possibility has occupied Val's thoughts for as long as they've sat in this chair.
These past few minutes, hearing her voice again, is the first time they've dared believe they might not lose her.
Levi swallows and looks behind him for a moment before replying. "That's probably a better question for the Commander."
"Why can't you tell us?" Rory interjects.
"I'm just a medic," he says softly, his face suddenly drawn in concentration as he redresses her hand. "I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you."
"Why do you lock the door?" Val asks suddenly. Near-instantly their face feels like it's gone tomato red but they can't and don't wish to take the question back. They wouldn't have gotten up and left while Rory was still asleep, but why weren't they allowed to?
"It's protocol." By the sound of the words it's clear that even Levi doesn't believe what he's saying. What kind of protocol keeps them locked in one room when at any point something could've happened to Rory? What if they needed help? "I can ask the Commander to come speak with you."
"Okay," Val nods.
"No." Rory's words come at the same time, much louder than theirs. "Why are you helping us? And why are you keeping us here? When do we get to leave?"
"We're helping you because you needed help," Levi says flatly. "I'm sorry but I can't answer the other questions."
"Can't or won't?" Rory asks. Her face is already starting to pale again from the earlier redness. Val puts their hand at the edge of the mattress in an attempt to calm her down. She's supposed to be resting.
Levi takes a timid step back, bowing his head slightly as he turns away from them. He looks genuinely apologetic as he continues towards the door. Val almost believes he isn't going to answer the question at all until his hand rests against the door knob. "I'll ask the Commander to speak with you."
Val swallows. They know he isn't going to give them anything else and at this point even Rory has gone silent. She is all but trembling as she sinks back against the pillow. They're worried she's already hurt herself by getting so worked up, but they can't blame her. Levi might not have answered their questions, but he's confirmed enough.
These people may have saved them, but that doesn't mean they're allies.
"I'm sorry." The door shuts before either of them can respond. It's silent as they wait, then a second later the click of the lock comes far louder than before. Levi isn't even trying to hide it this time.
A wooden door's not the same as iron, but this place is still a prison.
"I'm sorry, okay?"
Calvin turns rigidly away from the wall of his bunk. The stale air is disturbed by any movement in the small room, and he's certain the others feel his every breath. He's well aware that they're watching him, if not Mina than at least the other two. He shouldn't blame them, he's always been the one with the answers, but that doesn't make this any easier. "You don't have to be."
"Just take it," Zoe huffs. He can tell that she's frustrated but it's taking a lot out of him to try and care. The past two days have easily been the worst of his life. This is exactly the reason he's always held the Protestors at an arm's length. We have to do something - he can't count how many times he's heard those words from Mina or Elise.
Something got you killed. Calvin knows that she can't hear him. He also knows that he shouldn't blame her for doing exactly what all of them decided on their own to do. Elise was trying to help. All of them were just trying to help. If their lives had to go to absolute shit it might as well mean something, right?
Calvin hasn't felt this angry in years. He never allows anyone to see what he's feeling but what's the point of that anymore? If the other winners haven't guessed yet that this put together, all knowing persona is a charade then they're as hopeless as he feels right now. Whether they like it or not, they're all stuck in this fight now. Calvin can't protect any of them.
Apparently, he never could.
"Zoe," Calvin says flatly. "Drop it. I said it's fine."
Mina drops down from the bed above him and her shoes land loudly on the concrete floor. He turns away, knowing full well what she's about to say. He isn't in the mood to argue. In fact, he isn't in the mood to be locked in this room with them no matter how much Calvin loves them. The only thing he wants right now is for everyone to shut the fuck up.
"She's trying." There's more kindness in Mina's words than he expects. Still, Calvin shakes his head. He knows Zoe's trying. He knows this is the most genuine apology she's ever spoken in her life. He knows she didn't mean what she said yesterday.
Calvin also knows, deep down, that she wasn't wrong to say it. He should have been watching over Elise. They were the only family each other had. Screw whatever rules they'd come up with when they started working with The Protestors. Calvin knew she was diving deeper than any of them, he knew what she was doing was more dangerous than she realized.
He's only upset because he knows even the things Zoe didn't say are all true. Calvin can't say he's to blame for what happened, but he knows in his heart that he didn't do everything he could've to prevent it.
Thankfully, the television screen crackling to life pulls the others' attention before the tears can start. Calvin focuses on listening to the start of the broadcast as he buries his eyes in his sweatpants. He demands the tears to stop before anyone will notice.
Mina sits down at the edge of his cot and silently rests her head on his shoulder. She doesn't look at him. She doesn't wrap him in a tight hug that right now would make him feel like he's suffocating. Still, Calvin hears the message loud and clear. He gently squeezes her wrist, quickly so that the others won't see.
While to most people these two little actions wouldn't be much, to them it's everything. Calvin has come to love all of the winners, but he's always been closest to the oldest. The three of them were always the most alike, the most understanding without need for explanation. They knew him before he was expected to be perfect, before he became the glue that holds their shaky family together.
They knew that broken teenager that flinched with flashbacks and was often too lost in his thoughts to bring back.
"Look," Mina whispers and this time he listens without argument. The quality isn't excellent, but there's no mistaking the pictures that have taken over the screen.
"Anyone with information on the whereabouts of Calvin Delinger, Mina Coffman, Zoe Sanford, or Rajan Bhau is encouraged to contact local police. All four of them were kidnapped from their homes on the night of Elise Morton's murder. We have reason to believe they're in imminent danger-"
A pillow lands at the center of the screen as the pictures fade back into the familiar news anchors. Zoe crosses her arms from the top of the opposite bunk. "Idiots."
"They're just relaying what they were given," Mina shrugs. "It's not like anyone outside these walls knows where we are."
"The network knows we're not in danger."
"Do they?" Rajan asks, turning his legs off his cot. There's a pause and he directs the next question subconsciously to Calvin. "Are we in danger?"
"We don't know." Calvin's grateful that it's Mina who answers instead.
"The network did this," Zoe says sternly as if she's trying to convince herself as much as everyone else. "They killed her, right?"
Mina pauses. "I don't think The Protestors would've hurt Elise. She was helping them too much. They needed her." She looks back to Calvin. "Us. We don't know if it was the network but that's what the Commander seems to believe. I don't see any reason for him to lie about that."
"Were they going to kill us too?" Rajan asks. It seems like now that the questions have started again they're not going to stop. "Is that what the message meant when it said we were in danger?"
"I don't know."
"Funeral proceedings will be held this coming Sunday in Queen's Park to honour Miss Morton. The public is welcome though security measures will be in place to protect all attendees-"
Calvin leans back further into his bunk as the room falls into silence once again. It's offensive that her funeral will be held anywhere but North Bay. It's even more ridiculous that it's no doubt going to be used as some sort of publicity stunt. Still, a deep ache takes root in his chest as he realizes he won't be there.
"If the network knows we went willingly, they might be trying to draw us out." He knows his words are true, but it makes him feel no better about them. He should be there, they all should be.
"We're not going?" The hollowness in Rajan's question is almost enough for him to second guess the decision, but Calvin knows he can't.
Mina squeezes his knee in gentle comfort behind her, hidden so that the other two can't see. Calvin doesn't know who they can trust right now outside of the four of them. He doesn't know how they're going to get to the others or finish whatever it is they've started by coming here at all.
All he knows for sure is that this is still his family.
No matter what, he has to keep them safe. From here on out, no more regrets.
"How's she doing?"
Levi stiffens as the words come even before he's re-entered the room. He expects most of who's waiting inside the Control Room, but there are two faces he only somewhat recognizes. Levi gives a tentative smile to the pair seated on the ground beside Zach before addressing the Commander.
"Well," Levi nods. "Minimal separation of the closure. The stitches should be able to come out in a week or so."
"I'm glad to hear it," the Commander replies. "It seems that today is good news all around."
"We needed it," Levi says automatically, but there's little heart in the words. He can't stop thinking about Rory and Valentine. It's been less than an hour since he left them to check on the other wounded but they haven't left his mind. None of the questions they asked were unreasonable. Levi just doesn't have a lot of answers himself but that's why he's here. "Commander-"
"Unit 09 returned tonight," he interrupts with a wide grin, motioning towards the unfamiliar pair. Levi examines them for a moment, only now seeing the extra layers of grime stuck to their skin and hair. It's not uncommon for there to be a certain level of filth in The Towers. Still, they should have stuck out more than they initially did.
Levi supposes he has too many other things on his mind. Regardless, he moves to greet them and the boy extends a hesitant hand towards him. The girl, on the other hand, inspects Levi's hand as if he was the one covered in motor oil. "Welcome back."
"Pleasure," the girl rolls her eyes with a sarcastic grin. It's clear there's more to the story of their return but Levi isn't sure he wants to ask. A quick visual assessment on both shows little in the way of injuries. There's a shallow scrape peering out from under the boy's t-shirt, but it looks like it's long stopped bleeding at least.
"You'll want to get that cleaned up," Levi says softly, motioning to the wound.
The boy nods gratefully. His friend, however, has a slightly different reaction. She wrinkles her nose and looks him up and down so completely it almost feels violating. "We've been hiking through the wilderness for almost two days, what's your excuse?"
Levi stands there for a moment unsure how to respond as Zach bursts into laughter. He looks like he's about to hold his hand up for a high five before another snort makes him all but keel over. The Commander looks only vaguely amused while the pair just continue to stare at him. Levi isn't sure if he's even embarrassed by the comment, mostly he's just confused as to what's so funny.
After what must be several minutes, Zach finally regains his composure. "You remember Nur?"
"I'm afraid I don't," he answers truthfully. He thinks he might've seen their faces in passing but little more than that. From the sounds of it they were assigned to the helicopters that were involved in the set break. Levi mentally adjusts the figures in his mind, half-hoping they'll sound better but he knows they won't.
Thirty-one dead is still far too many.
"I'm glad you're back," Levi says sincerely, nodding at each of the pair in turn. While it's true that their return doesn't make what happened much easier to swallow, he means it. He just hopes there will be more returns soon, not because The Protestors need them but for the basic fact that they should all still be here.
"Zach, why don't you escort them to their bunk," the Commander cuts in. "I'm afraid your original assignment has been converted into part of the medical wing, but you'll find your new one to be very similar."
Levi can already feel his eyes on him long before the three leave. He wants to have this conversation, in fact he promised to have it barely an hour ago, but he has the near-overwhelming urge to follow them out. He wants to believe that he can trust what the Commander is doing with Rory and Valentine. Levi doesn't think he'd hurt them, not after going through so much to save them.
However, there are several things looming in the back of his mind that beg to differ. There are countless statistics, some of them nameless but they sting all the same. There have been so many lives lost under the Commander even if he isn't the only one to blame. Dozens of people poured in to support this mission. It's not the Commander's fault that they were willing but Levi can't say he's innocent either. He could've pulled the plug at any point. He could've stopped both operations before so many lives were lost but he didn't even seem to try.
Above all of those, however, one specific name comes to mind every time these seditious thoughts crop up.
Levan Fournier.
He was a child when he was brought here, and while he's not the only one there's no denying what the Commander intended with him. The Protestors made him into a human weapon. They sent him into The Cut knowing full well he could die. In fact, the bomb strapped to his ulnar bone basically guaranteed it.
The Commander can say what he wants about casualties of war. He can justify what happened, he can shift the blame to the government that shot their members dead outside the set. He can say that death was never the intention but an unfortunate byproduct of what they're fighting for.
Levan Fournier was not a mistake. Him and the other names that Levi's searched his brain for were as intentional as it gets. They were created to die. They were manipulated into weapons for a war they barely had the capacity to understand. They were kids.
Even if the Commander is right, even if Levan is out there somewhere none of this will ever be okay.
It's made Levi question everything.
Levi can't let fear keep stopping him. He doesn't know what side he stands on anymore, but he must choose to stand anyway. There has to be a better way. "I don't think they want to stay here."
The Commander straightens and watches him for a moment as if waiting for him to crumble. Levi forces his shoulders to still and his feet to remain firmly planted on the concrete floor. In the seconds they stand there, he's unsure if he imagines the Commander's features beginning to soften. Before Levi can be sure, the man turns away completely.
"Why's that?"
"Does it matter?" Levi asks plainly. "We don't keep people who don't want to be kept. Members can leave as they wish."
The Commander nods, but when he turns back a fresh stiffness has returned to his expression. "They are not members."
"Then what are they?"
"It doesn't matter what they are to us," the Commander says. "To the network and the government, they're fugitives. To the world, for now, they're dead. Keeping them here is the only way they'll be safe."
"Should we really get to decide that?" Levi asks. The tension in the air is clear but he forces himself to ignore it. He knows what the Commander is saying is true - Canada isn't safe for Rory and Valentine. This doesn't explain why they were taken in the first place.
If the plan was always to hide them, to keep them locked in The Towers forever, then why go through with it?
"You might not believe it," he says through gritted teeth. "But I'm doing what's best for them."
"Maybe we would believe you if you told us anything, but you don't. You keep it all a secret until you need one of us or until we find out ourselves. That's why they don't trust you."
There's a pause. "Do you trust me?"
Levi's hand clenches at his side. He knows the answer but he can't bring himself to say it. After a moment, the Commander sighs. "I'm not trying to deceive any of you. My goal remains the same - to end what never should've started in the first place. I want you to trust me, but it's safer to be in the dark. They're not as far away as you think, Levi."
"Who isn't?"
The Commander shakes his head, ignoring the question. "Nothing's going to change without us. I wish I could let Rory and Valentine go back home as they wish just like I wish I wouldn't have had to risk the girl's life like we did. They're part of this fight now whether they want to be or not. Nothing you're going to say will change my mind. If you're unable to fulfill your current duties with them, I'll reassign you immediately. End of discussion."
Levi swallows. He has a strong urge to back down but this isn't about him anymore. If the Commander won't tell him what his plan for them is, that's his prerogative. However, Rory and Valentine deserve to know. "If you don't talk to them, they're never going to trust you. They might not follow as obediently as we do."
"Have they given reason for you to think they won't?"
"They trust each other," Levi says after a breath. "They've gone through a lot harder things together and survived because of that. If you can't get them on your side, I don't think it's wrong to say they'll be one hell of an enemy."
He hears the threat in his own words but he doesn't cushion it. If fear is what gets the Commander to talk to them then so be it. Levi doesn't know what he has planned for them but they have the right to. For what might be the first time, they deserve a choice in what happens to them.
And not just the illusion of one.
A/N: How's that for a little pre-finale break? This is the last we'll hear directly from the subplot players until the next installment so I needed to tie up a few ends here. Do not panic about the sus, there are far more pressing things to panic about.
Next chapter will be the finale and the official end to the games portion of this story. I've been going through the five stages of grief about there only being two chapters left but that hasn't changed this fact (weird). I hope to have it up in approximately one week.
Huge thank you to everyone still reading / discussing / reviewing this story. It means so much to me to have this level of engagement and is really helping me get these last few chapters completed. You're all MVPs.
P.S. If you're interested, I've recently opened submissions for the next installment of this verse - In The Clear! Check out my profile for more information.
Until next time!
~ Olive