Chapter II

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Zara had been born and raised as an Amazon, so chilly weather didn't bother her much, she was used to hunting and fighting in much worse conditions than this. Both the women wore furry cloaks, although Zara insisted she would have been fine without hers. The Widow, however, was unaccustomed to "roughing it" and lamented at intervals over the rawness of the wind and the sad state of her shoes. "At least," she said with a somewhat forced smile, "this isn't me best dress."

Yet Alice Twanky, nee Cudlip, was of a robust constitution and furthermore, was never one to let anything or anyone get her down...at least, not for very long. Despite the discomforts of trudging up the narrow mountain road, she began to sing and twitter snatches of song, as well as reminiscing aloud over the various dance recitals and performances certain songs had been played or sung at. Zara pressed grimly on, taciturn but realizing that Twanky's chatter and warbling provided enough diversion for the minds of both away from any worrisome negative thoughts. At least they didn't have to worry about the safety of Iphicles the frog; for safety's sake he had been placed back into Twanky's handbag.

"Okay, I wonder how far up the mountain we should expect to find the herb?" Zara pointed toward a thick area of likely-looking verdure. "Twanky, why don't you start searching over there, Liza said the herb grows around rocky places in full sun. And I'll look over here."

"Very well, and I shall just place this sweet little froggums onto this nice patch of moss where he'll be safe and sound." Zara heard the Widow cooing over the handbag, which wiggled restlessly albeit the moss was undeniably soft and comfortable. Then she began her own search for a blue flower with gold leaves. Only a few minutes went by before Zara suddenly cried out, "I found some! There isn't a lot of it, but we don't need a great amount to make enough tea to give the King a bath."

"Mmm, I could go for a nice hot cuppa tea meself about now. To say nothing of a hot bath. With cream and sugar, that is. I mean in the tea, not the bath." Twanky raised up from where she had been stooped in her own search, and placed a hand to the small of her back momentarily. "Ouch! Goodness, I'm not as young as I used to be, so it seems!" She hastened over to see what Zara had found. "Hmm, so that's wot it looks like! I wasn't certain. Let me dash off now and get us some firewood, we could make a fire just here and have the tea brewed up before you can say 'Jack's a doughnut.'" Before Zara could protest and insist on going for the wood herself, Twanky had scampered off to a shadowy part of the nearby forested area, leaping like a rabbit over rocks, fallen logs or tussocks of tall grass.

"She may be a bossy, overbearing old matron," Zara said to herself, "but she surprises me, she's dependable as Helios in his chariot! And I know she can fight, too, although she's pretty far removed from us Amazons." Zara's green eyes instinctively scanned the territory. "Not much to worry about if bandits or barbarians should happen along. We make a good team."

Soon Twanky was back, carrying an armload of deadwood for a fire. Zara was scouting for a suitable spot to set it ablaze, and had a couple of stones at hand to set off the sparks. She chose a location near a little stream rivulet flowing down among the boulders. Once the fire was going, the two women and the frog could warm themselves before its flames. Zara had a little pot in her pouch to set up to boil the water. After it was bubbling, it was an easy matter to put the herbs into the water and make the solution. Both the women eyed it impatiently until it was exactly the right color and they could also smell its aroma.

"Okay, Iphicles, it won't be long now," Zara held the frog and stroked its back with a fingertip. She was trying to keep anxiety out of her voice as they waited for the concoction to cool enough to give the small creature a warm bath. "Boy...when I think of doing this, I have a FAR different scenario in mind!" she laughed gently, even though the frog's wide mouth seemed to downturn almost imperceptibly, in disapproval. Iphicles made a very ill-humored frog.

"I think it's about ready now, dearie," declared Twanky after placing a pinky finger into the small pot. "Now let's carefully put the poor little fellow into here, and then I think we should stand back!" She couldn't avoid lightly clapping her hands together in glee at the delightful mental image of the hoped-for results.

"Are you sure?" Zara tested the tea herself, then nodded. "That seems fine. Okay," she smiled her own hopes but her hands trembled as she reverently lifted the frog and lowered him into the warm liquid.

Both the women now stood up and stepped back to witness the miracle.

Nothing.

And to make matters worse, Twanky saw to her shock that Zara had disappeared...and in her place was a cricket!

"Okay, this is interesting," thought Zara. "I feel a little weird, and...OH NO!"

THWACK, a long sticky tongue enveloped her, and she lost consciousness.

"OH, no you don't," Twanky yelled, as she grabbed the errant frog's tongue which was now firmly attached to the cricket. "KING or no, You are NOT eating THAT cricket, not while I've anything to say about it!"

She gingerly peeled the tongue off the cricket. "Oh, Lor, the things I do for Royalty!"

She held Zara the cricket gently, and prodded. "Twinkle, are you okay, open your eyes, say something, DO SOMETHING!"

She sternly regarded the frog, who was looking VERY ASHAMED, "Now, don't you go 'hopping off,' I need to think." She began fuming. "Oh, just wait until I get back to that castle, that 'Liza' woman is going to fix this! Cure, my left foot! Blasted waste of time and good shoe leather, if you ask me. And just look at this dress, a perfect disgrace..."

A flutter of wings interrupted her rant. "Actually, you should be grateful to Liza," a quiet male voice assured Twanky. "Kull went looking for her, when she didn't return for an hour and a half, to see what was keeping her. He also found this."

Cupid, in his entire golden splendor, was standing in front of Twanky, who was once again getting that fluttery, giddy, palpitating-heart feeling. In his outstretched palm he held a black earring. "He found it, in the hall outside Zara's chamber."

"Yes, yes," Twanky replied impatiently, composing herself as best she could for the crisis which was priority just now. "Liza was wearing those when I met her in the 'all, and explained the mess. What of it? How does that help cure Zara!"

She wailed in frustration, echoed by a sad little "ribbet."

"Because the earring really belongs to Discord!" Cupid almost shouted in his excitement. "The real Liza, when confronted, told Kull that SHE had been in the village all morning, delivering medicines, and had several eye witnesses to confirm her presence IN the Village. Kull told her what the fake Liza told you. That tea you both made does NOTHING to 'cure frogginess,' and if you happen to touch it on your birthday, YOU become the first insect you saw that day!"

"Why that bluudy, rotten blighter…!" Twanky began, and then caution silenced her, in mid-rant. "And, to fix it, Liza said to…"

"And Liza doesn't know how to 'fix' that! Fortunately, I do."

"More tea?" Twanky said, gently but with gritted teeth, "Right, what 'erb will we be needing now!"

"No," Cupid said resolutely. "I just have to remember a really horrible day, and cry. Although, I'm almost there now, I'm just glad she didn't get eaten."

"Yes, err...right, and a good thing that was!" Twanky replied as her cheeks colored brightly. No point in getting a certain "frog" in trouble. "Remember this, when we negotiate contract terms." she muttered to the "frog."

"CROAK!"

Twanky brought the frog close and said quietly, "I do hope for both your sakes, he can remember something, but I would think everyday would be a good day, for a love god." Her wide blue eyes took in the dazzling spectacle standing before her. "By Zeus, but he's a right 'andsome bloke, all golden and sparkly looking. If only I was 20 years younger... But there is something to be said for experience!"

The only thing that had gone correctly today was that Cupid was NOT listening. He stood, eyes closed, thinking, remembering. A look of sorrow passed over his face, deepening his frown. The scowl deepened to an expression of extreme melancholy. He was digging deep, going for his worst memory.

"Oh, my, he does look soomething awful! I wonder what 'e's rememberin'," Twanky mused. At last, it worked! "Oh, no, he went overboard, we only needed one tear. He's a rooddy waterworks!"

Cupid was indeed sobbing, and Twanky quickly positioned Zara's inert form in the "deluge." The frog watched in earnest, hoping for the best.

"Now, I hope this works, but I have to get 'er doon before she changes back! She's gettin' a mite 'eavy for me 'and." Twanky quickly set the cricket on the ground. "Oh, here she goes."

Zara's inert form appeared. Twanky patted her hand encouragingly. "Wake up, Your Highness, you've have a bit of a shock. But, things are better now."

Zara stirred fitfully; her green eyes fluttered open. "Oh, my head aches," she groaned, "what hit me?"

"Best you don't remember, dearie, believe me," Twanky answered. "I've got some bad news. The tea--"

"Didn't work and the king is still a frog," Zara finished for her. "Yes, I remember that fact, for some reason. Can we reheat it and try again?"

"NO!" Twanky's yell was accentuated by a loud protesting "croak." She patted the Amazon's hand consolingly. "It was a trap for you, luvie!--set by that awful Discord. She disguised herself as that nice 'Liza.' I should've known!" She set her square jaw, irritated beyond words at being made a fool of. "If Cupid himself 'adn't come to 'elp, I don't know wot I… "

"Croak."

"Right, WE," she amended, "would have doon to save you. Can you be standin' up, then?"

Zara nodded, as she rose to her feet. A penitient-looking frog, its eyes brimming with tears, hopped up next her ankles. She cupped her palm, scooped him up and raised him gently to her face. "We WILL sort this out, so don't give up, Your Majesty. And don't cry, it's bad for morale."

She observed Cupid, whose face was still wet. "I'm not sure what happened, but thanks. Are you okay? I've never seen you cry, I don't think anyone ever has." She looked again at Iphicles. "For that matter, I've never seen a frog cry, either."

"Actually," said Cupid, "SHE makes me cry a lot. Every time I have to fix one of her 'little jokes.'" His face began to darken in anger. "And now, SHE IS GOING TO FIX HER OWN MESS!" He yelled at the sky, "MOOMMM! YOU GET DOWN HERE… RIGHT NOW!"