Aaaaaand we're back! Huzzah! You reviewers are so cool! We are almost at 100 reviews! Groovy! (Sorry have Hair on the brain) anyhoo so thank you for your lovely reviews, really quite fantastic, we'll love you even more if you review this chapter. So here is the next installment of our absolutely adorable fic! Enjoy!

Chapter 5

Some hours later, in the appetizingly non-ticklish zone of the kitchen, Remus and Tonks were in the midst of an afternoon cup of coffee, delighting in each other's company and chatting joyously about Bill's horrid dancing skills. Sirius sat at the door, trying to soak up the utter cuteness of it all. Sigh. If only they weren't so dim….

"Were you there when he managed to simultaneously drop his date and trip into the punch bowl to that Weird Sisters song?" Remus asked, grinning and sipping his coffee left-handed.

"Yes! My God!" Tonks laughed. "It almost makes you wonder what he's like in bed," she added thoughtfully. Remus choked on the coffee he'd been quaffing. "You okay?"

"Do you contemplate the sexual abilities of all of your friends?" Remus asked breathlessly.

"Well. Only the really special ones," Tonks said slyly.

"I see."

"There isn't any more coffee left, is there?" Sirius asked, bursting through the doors. The connected couple jumped. In the jump, Tonks amazingly managed to upset the coffee maker and douse the floor and her cousin's feet.

"Nope," she said regretfully. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You're hopeless."

"Want a dish towel?" Tonks asked. Remus helpfully held up the ratty cloth that he'd been dragging about for half the fic. Sirius shook his head.

"Never mind," he murmured, bending down and siphoning the caffeine off his tootsies with his wand. He tapped at the switch on the coffee maker, which instantly began to purr as it generated more coffee. "Who won the tickling match, by the way?"

Twin glares met his eyes. "Let's call it a tie," Remus said through gritted teeth.

Sirius grinned. "I love quiet afternoons."

At this unassuming statement, a fairly deafening screech was heard from the general direction of the attic. Approximately three seconds later, the kitchen door burst open a second time, and a wild-eyed Bill clutching his left arm dashed in and turned on Sirius.

"Fucking Christ, man!" he exclaimed. "When was the last time you fed that beast?"

Sirius blanched and abandoned the coffee project. "Shit!" he squeaked. As he went pounding down the hall, the occupants of the kitchen heard a wail of, "I'M SORRY, BUCKBEAK!"

"Well," Remus said after a minute. "That was an escapade." He paused for a moment. "Wasn't he feeding him this morning when we were having breakfast?"

The comment was ignored. Tonks looked up at her redheaded school friend. "What'd he do to you?"

"He tried to eat me!" Bill said, still looking a bit frazzled and indignant. "I was coming back to see how you were doing and I thought I might say hello to the beast and then he tried to gnaw my arm off and then I thought I would die and then—"

"Jesus! Bill! Breathe!" Tonks ordered, looking a bit alarmed.

"Right. Breathing. That's a good thing." Bill collapsed into a kitchen chair and seemed a bit calmer. For a second, anyway. "But he tried to bite my arm off!"

"Um, yeah. We heard you the first time," Tonks said distractedly. She carefully examined Bill's bleeding, torn up arm. "Does that hurt?"

"YES!"

"Right. Let's do something about it…"

"Dish towel?" Remus asked. Bill glared.

"I hate you all," he muttered. Tonks helpfully grabbed her wand and poked at the wounds, sealing up the shredded skin.

"How was your date with the French chick?" she inquired.

"Fleur!" Bill snapped. "And for the record, Nymphadora, we screwed in the restaurant's cloakroom. And it was fan-bloody-tastic."

Tonks shuddered. "Don't call me Nymphadora."

"What're you going to do if I do?' Bill said cheekily.

"I'll tell your mother."

"Truce."

Sirius came back into the room rather breathlessly. "Okie dokie now that, that's taken care of!" he said disturbingly cheerfully. Everyone stared. "What?"

"Nothing!" Remus said matching his cheery tone.

"What's gotten you so cheerful, Moony?" Sirius asked wryly.

"Caffeine," was the reply.

"Sure. I think its love," Sirius said devilishly.

"Yes. Of caffeine." Remus grinned most annoyingly.

"Whatever," Sirius said most teenagerishly. Best friends forever be… "How's your arm, Bill?"

"It'll live," Bill said irritably. "You're so lucky I'm an even-tempered guy." Tonks coughed. "What was that?"

"Nothing, Bill."

"Well, it's not like you have a very even temper!" Bill retorted.

"Whatever."

"You'd better watch it, Remus. She's hell during her cycle."

"HEY! Nitwit!" Tonks snapped, bopping Bill with Remus' dishtowel.

"It's true!" Bill said, trying to avoid the damp thwapping.

"Well, maybe if you'd get your own flat instead of crashing on my couch for a month—"

"Your horribly clashing couch, I might interject…"

"I LIKE PINK!"

"You have a pink couch?" Sirius asked, wrinkling his nose.

"And an orange rug!" Bill added. "Not to mention the green ceiling! NEON green!" Sirius looked at his cousin.

"Ew, Tonks. That's so gross."

Tonks glared at Bill. "Just because your hair looks like shit with my furniture doesn't mean I have a bad sense of interior design!"

"But you DO!" Bill shouted, perplexed. "And the walls change colors! It's so unnerving!"

"Well, if you don't like it, you can go back and live with your PARENTS!" Tonks roared. Bill shrank.

"No! Anything but that!"

"So stop saying that my interior design sucks!"

"But it does…."

"ARGH!"

"Wait—Tonks? Bad idea—" Remus' comment was a bit too late as Tonks went flying out of her chair to pounce on her temporary roommate. There was a rather sickening crunch as the joined pair landed flatly on the latter's chest, toppling to the floor. "Oh, dear."

"Crazy wench," Bill groaned from underneath the combined weight.

"I AM NOT A WENCH!"

"Well, not yet," Sirius said quietly in the background."

"So what are you, then, Tonks? A maid? Huh? Huh?" Bill prodded.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM!"

There was a long and puzzled silence. "But Tonks," Bill said, "you're not."

"Shut up, Bill."

"No, but really. You're not. I would know."

"Shut UP, Bill!"

"Come on, though. You can't have seriously forgotten that time when we were both totally plastered, and—"

"Good lord," Remus said wide-eyed. "You buttered her muffin?"

Bill eyed Remus warily. "Each day, my confidence in your heterosexuality diminishes."

"That's unfair. Watch!" Remus turned his head and abruptly kissed Tonks. He pulled back with a satisfied smile. Tonks looked shell-shocked.

"What was that for?" she asked breathlessly. Remus reddened a bit.

"Well, I couldn't very well prove my heterosexuality kissing Bill or Sirius," he said, flustered.

Sirius glanced down at his friend on the floor. "But you have kissed me. Don't you remember? You were rather good, actually…."

"Shut up, Sirius. I was drunk!"

"Lightweight."

Bill looked alarmed and glared at the man on top of him. "Okay. Off my chest. Now."

"Will do." Remus rolled off, pulling Tonks with him.

Tonks was still rather dazed from the kiss. Sirius was right. He really had been good…wait a sec. "You kissed Sirius?"

"You let Bill butter your muffin?"

"Quiet. I was drunk," they both said in unison.

"What's up with all this muffin buttering, anyway?" Bill asked. "I thought the technical term was cherry popping? Or maybe—"

"Right," Sirius said lightly. "While you're all lying on my kitchen floor discussing past sexapades, I think I'll go take a nap. Ta-ta." The door slammed and his footsteps faded.

"Well, Tonks," Remus said after a moment, "it certainly does sound like you have an interesting living room."

"You're telling me."

"Oh, shut up, Bill. Go pop yourself."

Later that night, after a most interesting meal accompanied by a guffawing Sirius, Tonks and Remus were in his bedroom, preparing to sleep off the insults. Tonks spread the blankets back.

"I can't believe you actually make your bed," she said, crawling in and yawning. "You're so much better than I am."

"If you set a criteria of goodness on house cleaning," Remus shrugged. After a moment's hesitation, he followed suit and slipped between the sheets.

"Do you think my pajamas are stupid?" Tonks asked.

"Sorry?"

"Bill told me that my pajamas were stupid, and Sirius concurred," Tonks said sadly. "So what do you think?"

Remus carefully surveyed the orange tank top unfortunately matched with a set of magenta boxers printed with pink teddy bears. Tonks nervously smoothed the fabric over her legs.

"I actually stole the boxers from Charlie in his fourth year. He said they impaired his masculinity—"

"They're nice," Remus said. "I like them."

"Really?" Tonks looked touched. And rather pleased.

"Yes. They're very you."

"Well, then." With a hint of pride, she switched off the lights. "Good night."

"Good night." It was only after the lights had vanished and Tonks had slipped into heavy breathing that Remus realized how very difficult it would be to sleep next to a vibrant young woman wearing a tank top and teddy bear boxers.

So he didn't.

And that's all folks! Well, for now that is. We actually have the next chappie written but we'll wait for the bulk of reviews for this one to come in before we post the next one. Heh, we're so cruel. Anyway see you kiddie winkies next time, which will be sooner if you review! (hint hint!) Anyhoo! Toodles!