Author's Note: Before we begin, I'd like to go over something. After viewing season 2, I realize there might be a controversy. Truthfully, I am planning a romance between Eddie and Reagan, so the latter's relationship with Ron is going to have to change. Don't get me wrong. He and Reagan are a beautiful pair, but for the sake of this fanfic, I'm going to have to change it. I hope you understand.

That's about it. Just remember, in this fanfic, any sentence written in bold is considered to be Venom's lines.

Enjoy the fanfic. Any and all comments are welcome.

"BROCK!"

The sound of Reagan's voice was the last thing Eddie wanted to hear when he woke up. He groaned in anxiety after sleeping in the first real bed he had in days. So he wasn't in the best of moods, and it only got worse as soon as he noticed that two black Venom tentacles were stretching out of his torso and his room.

"What the…" he asked before following the tentacles. He made it downstairs wearing his stained undershirt and his blue boxers. Rand and Reagan were waiting in the kitchen where the tentacles ended. Eddie could see them flipping pans of food, turning knobs on the oven, and messing with the plates from the cabinet.

"Oh! Morning!"

"Venom, what are you doing?" Eddie asked in a drowsy expression.

"Well, I thought I'd play the helpful houseguest and cook breakfast for everyone… except for Rand. He's lucky I'm not feeding him rat poison."

"What's the slimeball saying?" Rand asked.

"It's best you don't know." Eddie said.

"You know, perhaps a song could make it better. 'You say either, I say either. You say neither and I say neither. Either, either, neither, neither'."

"All right, enough!" Reagan yelled making Venom stop. "Brock, I know I was the one who said you could stay at my place, but you gotta take better control over your alien."

"Hey. He's your alien too." Eddie said. "I'm just giving him a piggyback ride."

"You know, this alien has a name."

Reagan sighed. "Look. If you want to be helpful, maybe you could help me at my mom's place. We're removing the last of my dad's old stuff from there."

"And I'm going too," Rand said, "Because I know that dragon lady's going to be talking shit about me and I wanna be there to retort."

"You see what I have to deal with?" Reagan asked. "So what do you say? Wanna pull your weight around here and help me?"

"Hmm. Let me weigh my options. On one hand, I could help a girl I barely tolerate move stuff out of her mom's house and get caught in between a violent argument between the parents. On the other hand, I could stay here and doze for a couple of peaceful hours before I have to clock into Cognito Inc." Brock weighed his options. "Be honest, Ridley. If our situation was reversed, which would you choose?"

Reagan was about to answer, but she stopped herself. She placed her finger on her chin pondering hard before groaning. "Fine. You've got a good point, but I will remember this. Come on, Dad." She dragged her father out of the apartment.

"You know she can do anything she wants to you, right?"

"At this point, it's a game." Eddie answered. "If she gives in, I win, and she knows that."

Reagan entered the company war room just twenty minutes after Eddie did. He, Brett, Gigi, Myc, Andre, and Glenn all turned their eyes at their tired boss. "Sorry I'm late. I've dealt with nuclear meltdowns less stressful than my parents' divorce. My parents have been arguing so much, at this point, it's just dry."

"'At this point, it's just dry'." Eddie repeated. "Good news, everyone! We just found the title of Reagan's sex tape!"

"Nice! Up top!" Myc said holding out a tentacle. Venom clapped that tentacle with his own sticking out of Eddie's shoulder.

"Classy, Brock." Reagan said rolling her eyes. "Luckily, I've been focusing all my stress into a scream bag. I've also got these." She opened up her jacket revealing four large robot arms. Everyone was taken aback by them. "These babies will increase my productivity by 600%. I can simultaneously file my paperwork, ignore my dad's text, and, you know, strangle everybody who crosses me, I guess." She gave a stressful smiile.

"I think there was someone in New York who had a similar invention." Eddie said. "Now, he's in jail. You keep up this crazy trend, Reagan, and you'll end up at the loony bin."

Reagan returned that remark by extending the middle fingers on all her robot arms.

All of a sudden, the room began to flash red lights and a loud alarm was blaring from all sides.

"AAAAHHH! I thought they were going to do something about that loud alarm!"

"What's going on?" Glenn asked. "Is it a nuclear disaster?"

"No! Worse! IT'S A PR DISASTER!"

JR entered the room turning off the alarm. "I'm not going to sugarcoat this. This is a 13-alarm crap fire. I accidentally hit 'reply all' to a company-wide email where I made a very un-PC joke about reptoids."

"Question, what are reptoids?" Brett asked.

"Oh, just your classic shape-shifting lizard people that live in secret amongst humanity."

"That's right." Gigi said just as the wall revealed several celebrities who are revealed to be reptilian. "We're talking poiticians, celebrities."

"Madonna's an iguana?" Brett asked.

Eddie continued to scan the room. "Miley Cyrus? Bella Thorn? Jake Gyllenhal? Mark Zucherburg… actually, that explains a lot. Wait, who's Curt Connors, and why is he listed under 'honorary'?"

"That's not important." JR said. "Reptoids provide a lot of our company's funding, and in exchange, we prevent the world from doing anything about global warming to keep them at their preferred body heat."

"Until they considered your email to be racist." Eddie assumed.

"Pretty much. If we wanna keep this year's funding, we need to kiss ass at their annual Reptoid Gala to get them to sign my contract. It's being held at their stronghold at Yale."

"The reptoid base is in… Wait. Why am I surprised?" Eddie asked.

"I was wondering when you were gonna stop."

"I remember my days at Yale." Brett sighed blissfully. "I was the most popular guy in my frat. They hazed me every year."

"Sounds like they hated you." Andre said.

Brett laughed in denial. "Nice haze burn, Andre. You must really like me."

"Not the brightest bulb in the house, is he?"

"Do I have to go?" Reagan asked. "Follow-up question, do I have to wear a dress? Follow-up to the follow-up, does it have to be stain-free?"

"No, you can't recycle your old Space Jam prom dress yet again, Reagan." JR said. "This is serious."

"What? That dress is awesome." Reagan argued. "And if you don't agree, then you're a…"

"Monstar! Yeah, yeah." Almost everyone interrupted. Eddie was the only one who didn't. In fact, he looked interestingly at Reagan.

"You a fan of Space Jam?"

"Duh. It's one of the movies that made animation/live-action genre popular." Reagan answered.

"Yeah. I just watched for the Loony Tunes gags." Eddie said.

"Why should we give those reptoid freaks respect?" Glenn asked. "Half-man, half-animal. They're disgusting."

"Did the dolphin-man seriously just say that?"

"That's just standard military thinking." Eddie replied.

"Glenn, that's exactly the kind of no-no talk that could end our funding." JR said. "Which is why I've signed you all up for reptoid sensitivity training. We need you all to fit in among those scaly, cold-blooded, fork-tongued reptiles."

"HA! Then that would make Reagan…" Eddie started to say before stopping himself. "Never mind. It's too easy."

After the meeting, the group reported to Inhuman Resources where they all gathered in front of a giant moth monster who wore a blue suit.

"Hi, everyone. Welcome to Inhuman Resources. I'm Mr. Mothman. I'm a Mothman. Let's talk about reptoids. Be sure to follow these dos and don'ts to avoid a diplomatic incident. First of all, do offer them a cricket, mouse, or vole out of your pocket. Fun fact about voles: a vole ate my father. Don't use loaded phrases like 'hissy fit' or 'see you later, alligator'."

"Who says those things anymore?" Eddie asked.

"I'm pretty sure Rand said that to me back in the days when he first experimented on me. That's how I got the idea for giant teeth to bite his head off."

"We've got to find you a hobby, big guy." Eddie said.

"Mr. Brock, are you having a psychic conversation with your alien during this seminar?" Mothman asked.

"This whole thing just seems a bit redundant." Eddie said. "Besides, if I had a little creature in my pocket, I'm pretty sure Venom would eat it first."

"It's true. I would."

"Seeing how pointless those are," Andre said, "When do we talk about the orgies?" Everyone acted disgusted toward him. "What? Everyone knows reptoids have orgies."

"Sign me up." Myc said. "I love se, and I am effing good at it. This is okay to say in here, right?"

"This is an HR meeting." Mothman said.

"Wouldn't it be an IR meeting? You know, as in 'inhuman'?" Eddie asked.

"Don't get smart, Brock. It's not your strong suit." Eddie said. "And you two, shut the hell up or I will castrate you."

"HA! Good luck figuring out which one of my tentacles is a dick." Myc said.

"Venom and I could just cut them all off just to be sure." Eddie threatened making his arm Venom-sized.

"Oh, I'd do it too."

"You two, I suggest you get out of here." Mothman said before guiding Myc and Andre out of the room. He then returned to the group. "Now, as a final training step, we're going to practice the traditional reptoid greeting: a firm, nonsexual hug to transfer warmth."

"Hugs! This is my jam!" Brett said as he walked in front of the crowd. He was wearing a green lizard costume.

"Tell me he's not wearing that?"

"He's so wearing that." Eddie said. "Brett, you look like Barney the Dinosaur took a stroll through Chernobyl."

"This costume actually did come from Chernobyl." Mothman said.

"What? How…" Eddie asked before sighing. "Fine. Let's just get this hug thing over with."

"Hug?" Reagan asked acting uneasy. "Like, with our bodies touching other people's bodies?"

Brett exchanged a hug with Glenn first. Then, he hugged Gigi. He gave a hug to Eddie next.

"That actually felt kinda good." Eddie said. "Is that weird to say?"

"What? No sugar for Venom."

"Venom, if this morning's breakfast is any indication, you had enough sugar." Eddie replied.

POW!

Eddie's attention was instantly caught by Reagan who punched Brett in the face right as he was about to give him a hug.

"Holy shit!"

"What was that?" Glenn asked.

"Reagan, I know you're a heartless sociopath," Eddie said, "But this is much even for you. What the hell happened?"

"I… I don't know." Reagan said.

After the seminar, JR named Brett as the public speaker for Cognito at the gala. While he did that, Eddie met up with Reagan just beside them.

"Okay, Ridley, what the hell was that?" Eddie asked. "If those lizard people are sensitive to the words 'hissy fit', I don't think we'd like you to right hook one of them just for giving you a hug."

"Hey, I don't know what came over me, okay?" Reagan said. "My body just auto-punched when I felt that hug close in."

"Look, normally, I'd love to see you have a breakdown in public, but this whole thing is sensitive." Eddie said. "Just go to JR and tell him that for the sake of the company, you're gonna have to sit this one out. It's for the best if you can't handle it."

Reagan scowled. "No way! I'm going to this goddamn party! I'm going to figure this out and prove that I'm not the socially inept weirdo that everyone thinks I am!"

"Someone's in denial."

"This is going to end very badly, Reagan." Eddie said. "If you insist on going on this diplomatic mission, I won't stop you. But when this all falls apart, I'm going to have four sweet words to say to you."

"Is it 'Eddie Brock sucks balls'?" Reagan asked.

"Ooh. Zinger."

"Ha, ha. No." Eddie said. "The words are 'I told you so'."

"We'll see about that, alien brain." Reagan said before pulling out a paper back. She inhaled a large breth before yelling right into it. The scream was so loud, a window cracked.

"OUCH! TELL HER TO NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

After putting on his best suit, Eddie had to wait for Reagan to be finished before he could ride with her to the company where a limo was waiting for them. They tried their best to not insult each other, but Eddie was curious as to what was inside the big bag the scientist was carrying.

The limo brought the gang underneath the grounds of Yale into a castle-like stronghold. Once the limo stopped, everyone walked out with JR at the front. He turned to address the group.

"Now, remember, everyone, we need that contract, so no slipups. Don't point and star. Don't touch their throat sacs. And if a lizard asks you your favorite Hogswarts house, what do you say?"

"Slytherin." Everyone replied instantly, except for Brett, who said Hufflepuff before correcting himself.

"Good. And one more thing, under no circumstances should anyone mention New York." JR said.

"Why?" Eddie asked. "What happened at New…"

"Just don't mention it!" JR interrupted. He then turned to the door and knocked. He almost messed up with the password, but after showing the doorman his bank account, he and the rest of the Cognito team was allowed in.

"Nice place." Eddie said observing the gothic, ballroom-style party filled with reptoids socializing.

"You're telling me," Brett said, "And I can't believe who's secretly a reptoid. Anderson Cooper? Taylor Swift?"

"Is that Paul Rudd? No wonder he never ages."

Andre and Myc spotted to masked reptoids and went to follow them to their secret orgy. Though, nobody cared to notice them leaving.

"All right, Brock," JR said after everyone had left, "You're free to roam around and socialize. But if any reptoid wants to talk to Venom, feel free to give him the wheel."

"All right!"

"Wait. What?" Eddie asked.

"Look, when I told the diplomats about Venom, they were elated. They said that they found Venom somewhat relatable. I don't get it myself, but to these reptoids, meeting Venom is like meeting a celebrity at Comic-Con."

"And you think having Venom here will help kiss ass to the reptoids." Eddie said.

"Exactly. Now, you're thinking like a businessman." JR said walking off.

"Here that? I'm a Comic-Con celebrity."

"Do you even know what celebrities do at Comic-Con?" Eddie asked.

"Do you?"

"…Fair enough."

So far, Eddie has done everything JR told him. He strolled around the gala. He mingled. He even showed off Venom for some reptoid fans who wanted to see him. All the while, he was on his best behavior.

Eddie looked around and smiled smugly when Reagan approached him. "So, it's been a half-hour since the gala started. How many reptoids did you have to apologize for punching them?"

"Actually, I didn't have to." Reagan said returning the smug grin. "I just spoke with the diplomats, and they loved my hugs."

Eddie looked confused. "Hold it? You suddenly got good at hugging after socking Brett in the face earlier today? I don't buy it."

"Buy it and throw away the receipt, because it happened." Reagan said.

"Yeah, right. What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"…Never mind. It's too easy."

"Hehehe. She's got you there, Eddie."

Eddie was about to retort, but a voice echoed from the loudspeakers. "Everyone to the main sage. The celebration is about to begin."

"This isn't over." Eddie warned Reagan before heading to the auditorium.

The large room had several fancy round tables that were set up in front of a large stage. The Cognito team sat, but JR noticed that one of them was missing. Brett's reserved seat was still vacant.

Up on the stage, the representatives of the reptoids, Barb Shrike and Zarthax, brought themselves to the microphone. Glenn was about to say something racist, but Gigi put a loaf of bread in his mouth to stop him. They called for a reptilian national anthem, which was just a lot of standing, saluting, and hissing. The Cognito team followed along as best as they could before it ended.

"Let's get down to lizness." Zarthax said. "We reptoids have had a great decade. Thanks to propaganda in the media, we have made society more tolerant of our kind, from the Geico Cecko to the Shape of Water. We even got K. Rool in Smash! We did it, everyone! The world temperature is rising. The time is coming, brethren. Soon, we shall fulfill the prophecy, overthrow humanity, and become the true rulers of the world!"

"Should we be worried about that?" Eddie whispered to JR.

"No. They say that every year, but they're never gonna go through with it."

"And now, a look back at all the reptoids we lost this year," Zarthax continued, "Including a proud reptile who we lost before he had the chance to make his mark. You did everything you could, Dr. Connors, and we will always remember New York."

All the reptoids bowed their heads sadly leaving Eddie confused. He turned to JR and whispered again. "Okay. What happened in New York?"

JR looked around before answering quietly. "Okay. So there was this scientist named Curt Connors. He tried to copy a reptile's limb-growing ability onto a person. He experimented on himself and accidentally turned himself into a giant lizard monster who tried to turn all of New York into lizard monsters alongside him."

"That's hardcore."

"So what happened?" Eddie asked.

"No one knows exactly, but he was turned back into a human thanks to some weirdo in red and blue tights. Since then, the reptoids have sent a couple of their agents to watch over Connors in case he changes back into the Lizard so they can give him a place in their society."

"So New York is a sensitive subject because of that?" Eddie asked.

"Yes." JR said. "Now, onto something more important, where's Brett? It's almost time for his speech. Brock, can you go and find him?"

"Sure. What else am I good for?" Eddie asked with a blank expression before leaving.

A couple of minutes have passed and Eddie couldn't find any trace of Brett. He was beginning to feel frustrated. "Sheesh. How hard is it to find a suggestible yes man?"

"Knowing him, he's probably distracted by something stupid. I'd eat his brain, but that's going to be like eating a small saltine."

As Eddie passed through a door, he stopped when he heard the feint sound of Gregorian chants on the other side. He opened it and heard the sound of something smacking flesh.

"Harder, my bros!"

"Is that Brett?" Eddie asked.

"Don't tell me he's getting into the reptoid orgies that Andre and Myc talked about."

Eddie looked around the corner and gasped in utter shock. He saw Reagan's partner locked in a stock buck naked. Nothing on but a blindfold over his eyes. Behind him were two reptoids, one of which carried a wooden paddle.

"This cannot be happening." Eddie commented.

"Go ahead, guys. Make me earn it." Brett said.

"Uh… you're right." One of the reptoids said releasing Brett. "We've been holding back on you."

"Yeah." The other said "It's time to take you to the… Chamber of Secrets." He and his partner lead the blind Brett to an open vent. "Reveal your secrets to the chamber!"

"Here's one. I stay awake at night because I don't even know what my favorite color is." Brett confessed amusingly. "And I'm afraid I don't have a real personality."

"Wow, that is dark." One of the reptoids said. "Speaking of dark, catch you on the other…"

Eddie interrupted them by changing into Venom, who then fired a black vine right beside them. The two reptoids looked in awe at Venom. Brett removed his blindfold to see what was going on.

"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS?!" Venom yelled out.

"Oh, hey, guys." Brett said nervously.

"Holy crap! You're Venom!" a reptoid geeked out.

"We're huge fans!" said the other. "Sign my chest please! I can hang it on my wall after it molts."

"GET OUT!" Venom commanded fiercely. The two reptoids hurried and ran out of the room.

"Hey! What was that about?" Brett asked.

Venom was about to answer, but he was forced to look away from Brett's naked body. "I can only look you in the eyes right now. Eddie, would you mind taking this one?" He morphed back into Eddie.

"Oh, real mature, Venom!"

"Eddie, what are you doing here?" Brett asked.

"What am I doing here? I could be asking you the same question!" Eddie returned. "Why were you getting humiliated by those future purses?"

"You mean PJ and Skwoo?" Brett asked. "It's all cool. They're my bros. We went to the same frat."

"That doesn't answer my question!" Eddie said.

"Well, earlier at the party, after they revealed to me that they were reptoids, they told me that I hadn't reached their level on the frat. I told them I was willing to do anything to reach level 6."

"So you decided to bail on your important job just to be hazed!"

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds dumb."

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS DUMB! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE HAZED?"

"Because it's how my bros can like me?"

"Brett, for the last time, hazing is a bad thing!" Eddie said. "You were stripped naked, spanked, and they were about to throw you into a cold vent which I can only assume is filled with rats!"

"But isn't that what friends do?"

"What?! No! When did you ever see any of this happen on PBS Kids? If PJ and Skwoo are your real friends, they wouldn't humiliate you like you were a bathroom stall they could draw dicks on."

Brett looked down. "You really think so?"

"That's a fundamental fact, Brett. Now, get dressed. It's time to…"

A faint noise got their attention. While Brett quickly put his clothes back on, Eddie returned to the door he just entered and realized what the sound was. Outside, several reptoids were chasing Reagan through the great hall.

"What the eff is going on?"

"Looks like Reagan screwed the pooch again." Eddie said.

After taking a car from the garage, Eddie and Brett caught up to Reagan at the front gate. She entered and the boys drove off. While Reagan put away her robot arms, the radio played the local reptoid news.

"The heir to the Griswold Walton fortune was rushed to the hospital tonight after having his arms brutally ripped off. He had this to say."

"The lizard army will bathe in the blood of man!"

"In other news, global temperature raised one degree today."

"What just happened?" Eddie asked. "And why did you bring those robot arms?"

Reagan chuckled nervously. "So… funny story. See, I couldn't get over my hugging problem, so I decided to disguise my robot arms to look like my real ones and hug with those instead. But during the ceremony that Brett was supposed to be at, my arms malfunctioned and I may have… ripped Zarthax's arms off."

Eddie couldn't help but chuckle. "Seriously? I knew there were shenanigans going on, but I didn't think it would go this far."

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh at the new fugitive from the law." Reagan said sadly. "I don't know why I can't hug anyone without losing my effing mind."

"You know, Reagan, I get mad social anxiety too." Brett said. "But talking about it with my therapist has cut my panic attacks in half."

"You have mad social anxiety? Get out of town."

"Are you saying that I should talk about my feelings?" Reagan asked with disgust in her tone.

"It might be good for you." Eddie said. "Here. Let's try something. When's the last time you were hugged?"

"The last time I was hugged was…" Reagan stopped herself when she didn't come up with an answer. "Wow, I actually can't remember. That's really weird, right? What about you, Brock? When's the last time you were hugged?"

Eddie looked down. "Well, I did get some hugs—and then some—from my ex-girlfriend, Annie. But then, one of my stories costed her job and she dumped me and…"

"Okay. Maybe a little further back." Reagan suggested. "What about your parents? Surely one of them hugged you, right?"

Eddie looked further down. "Not really. Let's just say my family issues make yours look pitiful by comparison."

"Sheesh. Really?"

"Yeah. Guess you're not the only one with bad hugging experience."

"You know, I just realized something." Brett said. "This is the longest you two talked to each other without insults. That's progress."

Suddenly, the sound of alarms wailed behind them and they were forced to stop the car. They were surrounded by reptoid police.

"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP, YOU PINK-FLESHED MOTHEREFFERS!"

"Oh, eff!" Eddie and Reagan both said at once.

The entire reptoid community was on high alert. Every walking reptile was called forth immediately to an underground courthouse. All eyes were on Reagan who sat beside her coworkers. Meanwhile, Eddie watched nervously as the judge's table was lit with torches. The bailiff made his announcement as the judge walked up menacingly.

"Please welcome our high justice of the Reptoid Court, the immortal queen of darkness herself… JUDGE JUDY!"

"You know, that explains a lot."

"Thank you, bailiff." Judge Judy said. "I have a shoot in 20 minutes, so let's make this quick. What are the charges?"

Barb Shrike stood up next to the armless Zarthax. "Your Honor, Ms. Ridley ripped off our leader's arms in an act of bigotry towards reptoids."

"This true?" Judge Judy asked Reagan. "You rip his arms off?"

"Yes, technically, but…"

"All right. Rip her arms off and call it even. Thank you."

"Your Honor, please." Gigi said acting as Reagan's lawyer. "I intend to prove that my client might be, damn, weird as shit, but she doesn't discriminate. She's like that to everybody." She began bringing in Reagan's coworkers one by one, each of whom had pointed out Reagan's toxic behavior toward them, except for Glenn who tried to shoot the reptoids.

Eddie's turn came up. When he walked up to the stand, he was given a Blu-Ray cover of Godzilla 2000, which he placed his hand on. "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Godzilla 2000."

"Now, Mr. Brock, tell me," Gigi said, "Would you consider Reagan to be discriminating toward reptoids?"

"Nope. She's that harsh toward everybody." Eddie answered. "The first time she and I met, she tried to crush me with a giant robot. Chased me all over Cognito Inc. until I got infected by a creepy alien."

"Creepy?"

"Just go with it. After that, she never held back on her experiments. But she does take her job seriously, even trying to make peace with the reptoids."

"Then how do you explain her violent behavior at the gala?" Barb Shrike asked.

Eddie looked over toward Reagan's despondent face. He could tell that even if she had won the case, she wouldn't feel better after hearing how everyone thinks of her. He sighed and replied. "It… was partially my fault."

"What?" Judge Judy asked.

"What?" Reagan asked.

"Yeah." Eddie said. "You see, Reagan has this violent hugging problem. I told her it was best for her to not come to the gala. Even told her she couldn't handle a diplomatic mission. I guess she wanted to prove me wrong."

"Wow." Gigi said in surprise. "Uh… No further questions, Your Honor."

Eddie left the stand and sat behind Reagan who still kept her eyes on him. "Wow. Way to take one for the team, Brock."

Eddie shrugged. "Don't make a thing out of it."

Suddenly, the doors opened wide. Rand Ridley walked in followed by a giant robot bear much bigger than he. "Sorry I'm late. A father should never miss his daughter's first sentencing. On the bright side, I finally finished reassembling Bear-o, so that's something."

"You brought that thing?" Reagan asked. "Dad, this is serious. I could be going to jail for a long time, all because for some mysterious reason, I am unable to effing hug!"

"Hello, Reagan." Bear-o said wrapping his large, metallic arms around her. "Would you like to give Bear-o a hug?"

Eddie looked at Reagan's face as she felt the hug. She had a panic attack for a couple of seconds before suddenly realizing something. She broke off from the hug and looked angrily at her own father.

"Holy shit! You never hugged me! You made a robot bear do it instead! And I was so traumatized, that I repressed the memory for years! That's why I can't hug anyone without losing my shit!"

"Whoa! And I thought my father was a shithead." Eddie said.

"I think we already knew that Rand is the biggest shithead in the world."

Reagan ordered Rand to the stand and questioned him. "Would you call yourself a good father?"

"I gave you a roof and stellar genetics, so despite what your may read in your mother's poorly-written airport rags, yeah, I was a good father. I even created this amazing robot so it could hug you whenever I wasn't around, which was always." All the reptoids gasped. "What, people? That touchy-feely crap makes you weak. My outside-the-box parenting raised a girl who's strong enough to nearly murder a diplomat."

"Bear-o is proud of Reagan." Bear-o said.

"Oh, shut the eff up, Bear-o!" Reagan snapped. "Dad, your shitty parenting meed me up for life, and now, I guess I'm… broken forever." She broke down in a miserable state. Eddie leaned his head forward actually feeling bad for her.

Rand noticed his daughter's misery too and decided to speak up. "Hey, look, you know, family is… an experiment. And maybe not all my experiments are perfect. Come to think of it, Bear-o is a bit nightmarish. I guess we could give this a try."

Rand walked off of the stand and approached his daughter. He and she slowly wrapped their arms around each other and gave each other their first ever father and daughter hug. Though, they immediately realized it wasn't working for them, and Reagan decided to give him a little punch.

"Is it weird that I found that heartwarming?" Eddie asked.

After the slight big of progress between Reagan and her father, everything got better and weird. It got better because Reagan was sentenced to a reptoid group hug and the peace between the humans and reptoids was renewed. The weird part came when the group hug quickly transitioned into an orgy.

Outside the courthouse, Eddie managed to escape the orgy and rest up outside.

"So you're not going to join the orgy?"

"If I wanted to have gross, reptilian sex, I'd sleep with Reagan." Eddie answered.

"I hear that, Brock." Reagan called out. She was sitting on Bear-o's arms next to her father. "Dad, can I speak to Brock for a moment?"

"Sure, sweetie." Rand answered. "I'll be over there waiting for you while finishing off the last of my alcohol."

Reagan stepped down from Bear-o and sat next to Eddie. "So… thanks again for admitting your part to it."

"Is it true?" Eddie asked. "Did you really bring those arms just to prove me wrong?"

"Wait. You said all that without knowing whether or not it was true?" Reagan asked in surprise.

"Well, I assumed my provoking was a factor, but I wasn't entirely certain." Eddie said. "Is that considered lying under oath?"

"What am I? A lawyer?" Reagan shared a laugh with Eddie. "Well… go on."

"Go on what?" Eddie asked.

"You know. It turn out you were right, and this did nearly end in a disaster because of me. So you're right to say those four words you wanted to say."

"Really? Okay." Eddie said. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and said, "I told you so."

"Ouch." Reagan said feigning a heart attack. "That cut me. That cut me deep." Eddie shared in her laughter. "All right. Enough sitting around. People will talk. Let's go home, idiot."

"After you, robot-hugger." Eddie said.

"Wow. Hey, Eddie, did your heart just skip a beat?"

Eddie immediately punched his own chest to quiet his symbiote. "Shut it."