Title: Hold On

Summary: Heavily inspired by the song (Hold On by Chord Overstreet). Katsuki had gone back for his school book. He never thought Izuku would listen to him. He was stronger than that. It was infuriating how unwavering the nerd was in his goal, so why...why was Katsuki holding him, drenched in his childhood friend's blood, begging, praying for him to just...hold on.

Anime: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Izuku/Katsuki

Rating: M for Katsuki (I mean, Language) and other sensitive topics. Warnings will be listed as needed.

TRIGGER WARNING:

-Mentions of Attempted Suicide!

-Emotional Abuse

-Physical Abuse

-Self-Loathing

-Blood

Chapter One

"Shit," standing in an alleyway with two extras from class. Two of the ones who thought they were close enough to him to refer to him as a friend. Jokes on them! He wasn't interested in weak-ass nobodies like them! Still, they followed him around, and at least they knew their place, unlike fucking Deku.

"What's up, Bakugo?"

Leafing through his bag, Katsuki narrowed his eyes, "I left my damn book in the classroom." He would have blasted a few explosions if not for the fact that he was holding his bag, already feeling pissed off from earlier.

"You going back?"

"Want us to come with you?"

"I wonder if Midoriya is still there..."

Glaring down at a bottle filled with something disgusting looking, he brought his foot forward in a sharp kick as he sent the shit flying. "You guys go ahead. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Later!"

Lifting his hand, he didn't bother with lame goodbyes. He was just going back for his book; these extras would see him again tomorrow. Retracing his steps, he mentally berated himself for leaving his school book behind in the first place. It was completely out of the norm for him to slip up like that. "Tch- I got distracted by shitty Deku." Growling as he made his way back to school. Coming up to the courtyard, Katsuki stopped as he took in Deku's scrawny figure walking inside the school not too far ahead of him. "Are you fucking kidding me!? This nerd really has no life." Paying him no further attention, he quickly made his way inside, knowing he'd probably run into the nerd again once in their classroom. He didn't. Grabbing his book from his desk, he lifted the fold of his satchel and shoved it neatly inside before leaving. 'Whatever, it's got nothing to do with me.'

As he left the building, an uncomfortable feeling found his stomach in knots. Katsuki brought his hand to his chest. 'Am I anxious?' This wasn't something he was used to feeling, but his heart rate had picked up as he grew further away from the courtyard. No. No, he couldn't leave.

That's when he heard it. In the distance, the sound of something connecting hard with the ground. His heart skipped a beat or two, Katsuki turned around with his eyes wide, desperately looking around before taking off in a run. Rounding the corner of the school, everything went still.

Red.

From a distance, that was the first thing he saw. The first thing his eyes made contact with.

Red.

It took him a moment to process what exactly it was he was seeing. Of course, he recognized them now. Red shoes. Familiar red shoes that he'd only seen his entire life.

He took a step forward, not aware that he couldn't hear anything but the pounding of his heart. His hand reached into his pocket, moving, unaware of what he was doing. He called 1-1-9, a burning sensation around his eyes.

Was he crying? Why? Why the fuck was he crying? He was speaking, but he couldn't hear what he was saying, what anyone was saying. Everything had turned gray, or red. The red was contrasting so dramatically against the grayscaled world around him. When did he get so close? When had he crouched down next to Deku? Shaking, his hand reached out to touch the body on the ground, stopping short... he could finally hear someone speaking.

"You know if you really want to be a hero that badly, there actually might be another way.

Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off the roof of the building."

Ah... he knew that voice. His voice. His words.

"Take a swan dive off the roof of the building."

He did this. What the fuck... what the absolute fuck!? "Deku! DAMN IT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Shaking his head, he barely heard the sound of sirens behind him. "DAMN IT, YOU SHITTY NERD! YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO DIE!" Holding him close to his chest, he was sure there were rules about this stuff. He shouldn't be touching the body, right? No matter what he knew, he couldn't help but hold him as if his life depended on it. Katsuki's eyes were glued to the splashes of blood and the pooling crimson, watching clear droplets hit the ground, mixing and disappearing in the crimson liquid. 'I-it's raining?' Feeling a hand on his shoulder as someone reached out and carefully extracted Deku from his arms. "...h-he'll be okay...right?" Broken, he sounded so fucking pitiful, but he did this. He pushed his friend, and now... now... Auntie, he'd have to tell Auntie.

"Listen, kid, he's still breathing. He's still holding on, so don't give up on him just yet."

"Dive off the roof."

"...can I go with him?"

Inko was running through the halls of the hospital where she worked. She'd just arrived home when she received the call from one of her co-workers. Not thinking much about it when she answered the familiar number, her heart shattered when she was told that her son was currently in intensive care and on oxygen support. They would fill her in on his condition in more detail when she got there, but for now, she was relieved he was alive. He had a chance to pull through, and for all that she could, she would hold onto that hope like the lifeline it was.

"Katsuki?" She called as she came upon the blonde sitting in the waiting room. She moved to his side but he didn't react to her. Taking a good look at the boy, her eyes traced over every blood-splattered stain that was visible to her eyes. "Katsuki," she shook herself out of her nerves and gave a shaky smile as the boy looked up at her.

"Auntie..."

She'd seen this child cry maybe a handful of times. The most recent was when he was five, and that was almost ten years ago. His eyes were rimmed red, his cheeks splotchy and flushed with a wet shine from the tearstains. Sitting down beside him, she pulled him into a tight hug. Nothing was said as she held him, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he trembled in her arms. She couldn't read his mind, but she could see that this was taking a heavy toll on him as much as it was on her.

"Auntie," he murmured, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is-" he clenched his Gakuran trousers, fisting the fabric tightly as he cried into her shoulder.

"Shh, shh, Katsuki; everything is going to be okay. I know my son. He'll pull through this. He's... he's got to."

He shook his head, unable to speak as she continued to comfort him. This went on until Mitsuki and Masaru showed up, both looking just as scared and just as out of breath as Inko had when she'd arrived. Finding places on either side of their son, Inko slipped away to cry to herself. Not wanting to cause any turmoil in the boy who was barely holding onto the world around him, she crouched down in an empty room and silently cried in the dark. 'Izuku...why? Why did you do this? What happened?'

A pair of arms wrapped warmly around her shoulders and she was pulled into a familiar embrace. Recognizing the sweet smell of bananas and vanilla, Inko hugged her friend. Tightly clinging to the support she offered.

Masaru watched as Mitsuki follow Inko. He stayed behind, refusing to leave his son in this state. "Katsuki, can you talk to me?"

"...what should I say?" His voice came out gruff, a shudder escaped him as he tried to control his breathing and crying.

"Whatever you want to say. Just, talk to me."

Katsuki looked at him, meeting his eyes, he looked scared.

"I-" he choked on his words, taking a few moments to try again. "I'm the reason he jumped. I might as well have pushed him myself. I really fucked up... I can't even look at Auntie. How do I tell her that Zuku is like this because of me!?"

"Katsuki, calm down! This isn't-"

"Don't fucking tell me this isn't my fault!" Jumping away from his dad, not noticing when his mother and Aunt came back into the room. "I...fucking told him...to take a swan dive off the roof. I never in a million years thought he'd listen, but I still said it. I fucking said it! No one else!" Dropping to his knees, Katsuki gripped his hair, tightly pulling as he screamed.

"Katsuki!"

He stopped. His eyes wide, unable to see straight, he shook his head. "Why?" The arms that were wrapped around his shoulders from behind only tightened at his question, "why aren't you yelling? Why are you still trying to comfort me? Your son... Izuku...I- I can't..."

"Katsuki, you're someone very important to Izuku. Even though you said something cruel, you still clearly care. This wasn't what you wanted, right?!"

"Fuck...of course not!"

"Then when he wakes up, do better! Be better!" She cried into his blazer, "you can't unsay what's already been said. You can't undo what's already been done. Learn from this, and damn it to all, do better! If you really care, like I know you do, don't say careless things. Please, Katsuki... Please, learn from this!"

Tears fell lifelessly from his eyes as his Aunt refused to let him go. Holding him, hugging him, comforting him.

Masaru watched from where he sat, staring at his son, looking at his wife, both were in tears. Today was a sad day, and a lot of painful things came to the surface with a single jump. Thinking about Izuku, he wondered if Izuku would truly be alright if he pulled through.

The door opened to the ICU hall, and a man stepped up, watching silently as Inko and Katsuki both pulled themselves up to their feet. Neither spoke, waiting to hear what the man had to say.

"Midoriya-San," he looked at Inko, "I'm sorry about what happened. We will of course keep you updated with changes to his condition moving forward, but as of this moment, he's stable." Taking a moment to look over the clipboard in his hand, he looked back up at Inko. "He came in with a fractured spinal cord, a punctured lung, and two fractured ribs, one with a secondary break. There was a minor concussion, no hemorrhaging from what we could see. I'll be able to give you a better idea of his condition once treatment has started to show signs of improvement. I reached out to one of my old colleagues, he has a healing quirk that helps the process along. I suspect healing without a quirk assist could take anywhere between six weeks to two months, depending on which injury we're talking about. So long as Izuku keeps stable, he should be moved from ICU in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. We will monitor him before making that decision." He finally met Inko's eyes and smiled sadly at her, "would you like to go inside?"

Nodding, Inko looked back to Katsuki who looked as if he was finally able to breathe. Reaching her hand out to him, he looked up, trembling, at her before taking her hand. Masaru watched the two as they followed the doctor inside.

Katsuki was trying to keep his distance. He stood back and watched Auntie Inko hold onto Izuku's hand, the boy was responsive if the computer next to his bedside was any indication. He'd seen the way his finger had twitched under Inko's touch, just enough that he was able to see through the fog of his emotions. He still felt as if boulders from past choices were weighing him down. Each one had a different feeling or aspect of himself that he hated. Selfish, boastful, arrogant, vindictive, detached, and dismissive. The last two were currently applying the most pressure to his shoulders. How could he have ever regarded Izuku as anything but worthy?

Why was he so fucking stupid!?

"Quirkless Deku!"

Sure, he didn't have a quirk, but why did that necessarily make him useless? He was one of the smartest kids he knew, and... he was Katsuki's only real friend. Nothing like those extras. Those extras... why did he entertain their whims of bullying Izuku in the beginning. When did it become a habit?! What had changed? Why had it changed?

He was his friend.

He was weak, small, fragile.

Always positive and persistent.

Just wouldn't give up, he was only going to get himself hurt!

Needed to be protected.

Couldn't defend himself...and still tried to defy him.

Defy him? Wait... what? Why would Izuku disagreeing with him be such a big deal? They were kids. He couldn't be right all the time. He wasn't right half the time. Sometimes Izuku was right. Sometimes he knew more about something than Katsuki did. Why would this upset him!?

While this internal war waged between his mind and his heart, he didn't notice Inko pulling him closer to Izuku. He hadn't realized when she'd slipped her son's hand in his, or when he'd subconsciously tightened his grip at the first sign of the familiar touch. He never noticed when she pulled a chair over and helped him sit down, or when the door behind him both opened and closed with barely a whispered hush.

He finally noticed...everything... when the barest twitch of Izuku's pinky brushed against his hand, how his eyes were actively moving behind closed eyelids; a passing thought of what the nerd might be dreaming about slipped by. He noticed the rise and fall of his chest, and the tubes and needles...the IV drip...and the sound of the constant beeping, rhythmic, controlled, and steady. He noticed. He sat there for a good thirty minutes in silence, finally, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Hurry up and get better, you damn nerd. If you want to have any chance of becoming a hero... then you're going to need to get stronger. So once you wake up, and you are able to leave this shitty place," his breath hitched when his friend's hand tightened a bit in his. "...we can train together. Work towards our dream together. We'll become the number one hero team, together, Izuku. So hurry the fuck up." He stood to leave, still holding Izuku's hand, he stared down at it for a moment longer before adding one last thing, not as an afterthought, but as an anchor to his own thoughts. "You're not useless..."

Me: Here is chapter one and I hadn't really planned on another fic, but this spawned while listening to music. So...here you go?