A/N: This will be my last chapter for a while on a count of a family trip to Florida in a few days…so there will be some gaps in updating for about a week and a half. Sorry! But I will miss you guys a lot. Don't worry. Hope you like it! (Keep in mind that it's at the beginning of April. Just so you know a timeframe. Hehe.)
Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson.
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Roger's POV (Two weeks later)
Carrie and I sit on my bedroom floor, books and papers sprawled in front of us. The Civil War stares up at me, but all I can do is gape at what I have to memorize in one night. Actually, more like two hours. God knows I'm not going to study after Carrie leaves.
Carrie's been helping me study since we met, and I help her with her homework. She's always been better at remembering huge general topics while I concentrate on one. It's relaxing to see her acting like nothing happened, like we are good old buddies once again. To have her back in my life is tremendously beneficial. I never really appreciated how much she helps me. With school, with emotional problems, writing songs and just to make me laugh when I need it. The one thing that scares me is that Mark can always top her with those things. He's become my best friend. He's always there. He wouldn't leave me behind like Carrie did. Just because I wanted to be happy.
I used to be able to tell Carrie everything that was on my mind. Now I find myself holding back, screening my words before they exit my mouth. I can't talk about Mark, about Katie, about what I did over the weekend, last night, nothing. I feel so limited, like our friendship is only good at certain moments. Mentioning all of this would just bring more chaos, something I don't want to renew. I love Carrie like a sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my sister about my love life.
"You really should have studied earlier Rog. This is a lot of stuff to do in one night." She tells me blatantly, sitting back on her heels and wrapping her arms around her knees. Her innocent eyes stare at me from beneath her arms, and I shrug.
"Well I pay attention in class, so I don't think it will be that hard." I brush her comment off easily and she smiles sweetly.
"All right. But don't blame me when you fail. I tried, I guess that's all I can do for a stubborn lad like you." She sighs, lifting her elbow to rest on her knee and pressing her palm to the top of her head. A yawn stretches her mouth wide open, but she refuses to move a muscle to cover it. She's never really worried about being polite in front of me.
"'Lad?' Who uses that word?" I snap, grabbing my lemonade from my dresser and watching Carrie's face fall.
"I do. It's my word of the day." She explains with a frown on her face, and I slap her lightly on the shoulder after setting my drink back down. "What about you? Why the fuck do you drink lemonade when spring just started? Don't people usually drink that in the summer?" I take another huge gulp at her comment and spray some of the liquid through my front teeth at her. She yelps, wiping it away from her green and brown skirt, then giggles at me.
"So I can do that allll year long." A huge-ass grin comes over my face, and she squints at my smugness. I've always loved teasing Carrie. She takes it so easily, without whining or anger, as opposed to other girls I've been friends with. I've become accustomed to Carrie's nonchalant acceptance. I have a feeling other girls would just get pissed off.
"Well you're lucky this skirt is old. Otherwise this water would be dumped all over your head by now." She picks up her glass, raising an eyebrow, but all I can do is laugh.
"Oh come on, I have lemonade. That gets sticky. I have a fucking huge advantage over you." I swish some in my mouth, puckering my lips and threatening to spit again. She cringes against the front of my bed, and I swallow before breaking into laughter. "Chicken."
"Well if you get lemonade on me you might get it on your book too. So hah!" Her skinny finger is directed towards me and I glance down at my history book. She's right. There lies a small wet stain from the citrus drink, burning its way into the American Revolution.
"Oh well. No one likes George Washington anyway." I shut the book with a slam, leaning my head against the edge of my mattress.
"I don't know about that. I mean they wanted him to be King. Even after that's what they fricken' fought to get away from. He must have been at least slightly likeable." Carrie's eyes close slowly as she spurts out information I should probably have known.
"Do you have to contradict everything I say?" My head slings forward, and she smiles, keeping her eyes shut.
"Yep." She says quickly, and I poke her in the stomach, forcing her body to scrunch and a small groan to emit from her mouth. "Do you have to tickle me?" She rubs her stomach lightly, wincing in apparent pain.
"Yep. You know you love it." I poke her again, but this time grasp my hand in hers afterwards. She eyes me suspiciously and giggles.
"What's up with you lately? You're so…not like yourself. You don't seem as cynical." She chuckles are her characterization and I frown immediately. Does she really not know the reason for my change?
"I don't know…I guess, well…I dunno." My words stumble over each other and I can't help but hate myself for how obvious that was.
"Aww…babe what is it?" Come on, it cant' be that…" She stops with a small jolt, like it hit her with a shock. Had she forgotten about Mark? Maybe she figured that we were over by now. She thought it was just a phase? Or that I was just trying to break up with her? How the hell am I supposed to tell her that I love him? "Oh." She sighs, and part of me wants to pull her into an embrace, but I'm afraid that's too much.
"Car I didn't want to…" My explanation is cut short by the phone, and I simply stare at it in the corner of my bedroom. Then I remember my mother isn't home. She has some dinner with her law office, something I'm sure she is not so thrilled about attending. She's never really liked the people she works with. Countless nights I've had to hear stories about the idiotic things her co-workers did, or how she got mounts of work while everyone else slacked off. I feel for my mom, and in a way she is my role model.
I run to pick up the phone, praying it isn't Mark. I reluctantly pull it off the receiver, smiling nervously at Carrie and beginning to speak.
"Hello?" My voice is small, as I press my lips closely to the phone, trying to muffle my words.
"Where the fuck have you been? You haven't called me in a fuckingweek! Roger Davis I am so coming down there to kick your ass." Katie yells loud and clear, and then follows up her scolding with a small chuckle. I glance over to see Carrie staring blankly at the wall, deep in thought, or completely zoned out.
"Sorry, Kate. I just…umm…I don't know. I've been spending a lot of time with Carrie and M…with Carrie. She's helping me with studying right now. Could I call you back?" My tone sounds like pleading, and inside I am begging Katie to just accept it without anger. I know she doesn't like the thought of me spending too much time with Carrie, but this is not the greatest time for her to complain.
"I guess. But you better fucking call me back! I am not waiting by the phone for you like some pathetic...teenage girl. Personally, I think you should be spending some more time with your boyfriend instead of your…gal pal…but you never listen to me anyway." She says harshly, and I begin to pick at a sticker glued to my dresser. I told Mark that this would never come off.
A week ago"Mark don't…" I press my stomach into his back, wrapping my arms carefully around his waist and kissing his neck lightly. He continues to work, his fingers fiddling with the stickiness of the paper, as he tries to make it even.
"Shh…I'm trying to make it straight. I don't want to fuck this up, now stop kissing me so I can concentrate." He turns his head to peck me softly on the forehead before continuing his mission.
"I don't see why you have to put that on there. It's just a stupid sticker." I fall back onto my bed, sitting up against my headboard. Mark turns towards me with a scowl on his face, as he retracts his hands from my dresser.
"Because. I want you to think of me when you look at it. And yes, I'm a sentimental loser. I know." A small smile graces his lips and he twists his body back around, bending forward to place the sticker in the perfect position. He rises up, exhaling in relief. "There. Perfect." He jumps into bed with me, nuzzling into my side and staring up at the ceiling.
"Where did you find that? It's so cheesy." I whisper into his ear, keeping my eyes close and hugging him tightly to my body. I never feel more secure than when Mark and I just lie in bed together.
"I found it in the parking lot of school. I thought you'd appreciate its dim-witted charm." He tips his head up to smile, and I kiss his forehead before inhaling deeply.
"Well you're the only person I'd accept something so stupid from. Consider yourself lucky." I hear him chuckle quietly before we both fall asleep, cheesy love lines filling our minds.
Present
"I will Katie. I promise." I ignore her comment about Mark, and hang the phone up before she can say anymore. I stare down at the sticker again, and then stifle a giggle when I read it for the hundredth time. A blue and white cow pops out of the picture, a small smirk on his face and his tail straight up behind him. A bubble sprouts from his mouth, almost in the shape of a heart, but more similar to a cloud. It reads: "I'll love you till the cows come home." The saying is so cheesy and girlish; I can't help but feel a little giddy. Mark was right. I do think of him when I see it.
"So…I have to go in like five minutes. I forgot to tell you that I have something going…on, so I can't stay." Carrie looks down at the floor while she speaks, and I walk over to where she is seated and lower myself to look her in the eyes.
"All right. You want me to drive you home?" I ask her, and she shakes her head quickly.
"No, I'd rather walk. It's nice out." Her eyes still advert from mine, and now it's just becoming frustrating.
"Is there something wrong?" I ask, lifting her chin up with my index finger and imitating her pout.
"I just feel like you don't tell me what's going on in your life. You're always hidden in the shadows." She jerks away from my touch, and I sit down in front of her.
"What do you mean?" I ask, even though I am completely aware of what she's talking about.
"Well…you have yet to tell me why you're so happy, and your phone calls with Katie are always muffled and hidden."
"I thought you didn't like Katie. That's why I try to keep our conversations to a limit when you're around. And…" She smiles innocently, and I furrow my brow. A smile?
"Katie is fine. I thought she didn't like me." She giggles, and I'm still confused about her state of mind. She laughs at the weirdest moments.
"I don't know. I assumed you two didn't like each other. But the reason I'm so happy is because…" She cuts me off again, and this time I become a little more irritated.
"Well at the party I snapped at her because I was drunk and upset. I told you that I get angry when I'm upset. And when I see things that are quite shocking…" She whispers her final sentence, and part of my heart completely sinks to my feet. Maybe it's a stupid idea to tell her how things are with Mark.
"Carrie, I didn't mean for you to find out that way." I bury my face in my hands and sigh, sneaking a peek at her expression. She rolls her eyes and looks away from me.
"I don't want to get into this again. Just tell me what you were about to say. Why are you so happy?" Her face becomes blank, and empty pallet for me to mess with.
"Because. I'm in love with Mark." I say bluntly, and watch and her mouth drops open in shock.
"You guys…what? You guys have only been…together for like…a month!" Her voice shrieks in a high-pitched tone, and I grasp her hand to try to calm her down.
"I know, but Carrie, this is for real. Just, don't try to belittle us please."
"I'm not. I'm just…are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt." She presses both of her hands to cup my cheeks, and I smile with a nod.
"Yea. I'm sure. I'm sorry if this…" She leans forward to kiss me lightly on the nose, then giggles at my expression of shock.
"Don't say anything. I have to go. Let's leave it at this." She gets up off the floor, motioning for me to stay put and walks casually out the door. It takes me a few seconds to realize what just happened, but when I do, I reach for the phone immediately.
I dial quickly, feeling the smile play at my lips, and then lie sprawled across the floor.
"Hello?"
"I'll love you 'til the cows come home." I say quietly into the phone, and hear a long pause on the other end. A small stutter comes, then real words.
"Shut the fuck up." Mark snaps and our laughs mesh smoothly. I bring my hands up behind my head and stare at the ceiling, feeling butterflies in the pit of my stomach. No matter how stupid that line is, it sure as hell does work.
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Notes: Sorry to repeat the whole phone conversation again, but I wanted to fit that Roger/Carrie scene in while still getting in Mark. I hope you liked it, and Florida here I come! Hehe!