Chapter IV:

Fooling The Fool

"Paine!" Rikku called from downstairs. "Breakfast is ready!"

I moaned and grabbed my pillow, slamming it down on my head. Jordan had woken up in the middle of the night crying for food for the first time in months. He started sleeping through the night when he was four months old so having to get up with him was a little bit of a shock. I sighed and rolled out from under the covers, landing on the floor. I got up and walked over to Jordan's bassinet. He was still sleeping soundly. I leaned down and kissed his forehead before leaving the room.

I walked into the kitchen where Rikku and Rylee were. Rikku was standing in front of the stove and Rylee was sitting at the table, munching on a pancake. Rikku turned around and smiled when she saw me.

"Morning, sleepyhead!" She said, before turning back around. "I made you some pancakes." She grabbed a plate from the counter and put two good-sized pancakes on it then handed it to me. "Butter and syrup is on the table."

I sat down across from Rylee who was licking her plate clean of all the syrup. She set her plate down and smiled. "Morning, Aunty Paine!" She announced.

"Morning," I said, smiling while putting butter on my pancake.

Rylee hopped down from her chair and carried her plate over to Rikku. "Done, Mommy!"

Rikku turned around and took her plate from her, setting it in the sink before turning back to her and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Go get dressed, sweetheart!"

"Okay!" Rylee said, bouncing out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I took a small bite of my pancake before leaning back in my chair and sighing. Rikku joined me at the table and smiled at me. "Gippal called before you got up." She grabbed the butter knife and began to spread butter over her own pancake.

"Did he already talk to that friend of his?" I took another bite and chewed slowly.

"Yep, he did," she said, grabbing the syrup bottle. "He'll be arriving here at about one o'clock with Gippal. After he's put all the make-up on you and Jordan he'll record a little of what you and Jordan look like onto a movie sphere then we'll be all set to go to Bevelle. I already talked to Lulu about putting a sleeping spell on Jordan and she didn't object so it must be okay."

"Sounds like a good idea." I took another bite. Rikku's cooking skills were something to be desired while we were aboard the Celsius; that's why we had Barkeep. She insisted on helping him cook when he adamantly refused and nine times out of ten the concoctions she cooked up weren't too easy on our stomachs. I had to admit though, she had gotten much better. "I just hope he believes it."

"He will," Rikku said, smiling.

Gippal walked in the door a half an hour after one o'clock with an older gentleman that looked to be in his mid-forties. He was slightly taller than Gippal and had dark black hair and medium tan skin. He was carrying a large case that I assumed held all of his make-up.

He looked at me and smiled. "Are you the one?" He asked.

I nodded and stuck my hand out for him to shake. "I'm Paine."

"My name is Josiah. You're the Praetor's wife, right?" He asked, shaking my hand.

I nodded. "Yes."

He chuckled a small amount. "I thought so. Me and my wife see you on the television every time the news comes on," he said, placing his make-up case on the table. I was a little distressed that he knew who I was, but very relieved when he didn't ask why he was going to make it look like I had been killed. "Gippal already told me what you wanted to do but," he began turning to me. "why?"

My shoulders slumped. I thought too soon.

Rikku ran up and put her hands on my shoulders. "To get back at Baralai. He's been treating her really bad so she wants to see how he'd react if he found out something really bad happened to her and Jordan." I sighed inwardly. This was one of the few times that I actually appreciated her butting in.

He nodded and smiled. "Oh, a little revenge I see." He leaned over his make-up kit and began pulling out canisters of fake skin and vials of fake blood along with a few other things he would need. "Okay, I'd like to do the baby first. Where is he?"

I walked into the guest room and gently pulled Jordan from his bassinet. He was asleep so I made sure not to wake him. "A friend of mine is going to put a sleep spell on him when you apply the make-up."

"That's a great idea. Is it all right if his sleeper is torn? I want to make this as realistic as possible."

"Of course. Do whatever you have to do," I said, handing Jordan to him so he could start getting him ready while I went to get Lulu.

I walked out of Rikku's hut and went next door. I knocked and Lulu immediately appeared and walked out, following me back inside Rikku's hut. Jordan had woken up when we got there and was starting to cry. Lulu kneeled down next to the bassinet where Josiah had placed him when he began to fuss.

Lulu reached out and gently picked up the crying baby and held him gently in her arms. She placed two of her fingers gently over his eyes and a misty haze surrounded Jordan's body. When the mist dissipated Jordan was once again sleeping peacefully.

She handed him back to me. "He should stay asleep for the next three or four hours. I used the strongest spell I could."

"Thanks, Lulu!" Rikku said, hugging her.

"You're welcome," she said, returning Rikku's hug. "Is it alright if I stay and watch?"

Josiah nodded. "Sure, I'm gonna get started on Jordan right now." I handed Jordan to him once again and followed him out to the kitchen.

He gently placed Jordan down on the tabletop and turned to me after making sure he had his hand firmly placed on Jordan's chest so the small infant couldn't fall off. "Do you want me to make it look like Jordan has been cut up, burned or both?"

I put a hand to my chin. "I want to make it look like Jordan wasn't the primary target. Just make it look like someone cut him up. I want you to make it look I've been severely burned and cut up, if you can." Telling Josiah to make my son look like he had been attacked by a slasher scared the hell out of me but it was only fake. I had to keep reminding myself about that.

"Your wish is my command. I do this kind of stuff for a living." He pulled up a chair and hastily got to work on Jordan.

After removing his sleeper he put various sized fake cuts on his body then cut the sleeper up so it matched the pattern of the cuts and soaked the edges of the tares with fake blood. He also put white powder on his face, neck and arms to create the illusion that he had been dead several hours. Once he was done he stepped back, allowing all of us to move in and admire his work.

"This is the first time I've done a baby but I think it turned out really good."

I carefully looked over my son and, if I didn't know any better, I would swear he really had been killed. I turned to Josiah and smiled. "You did a magnificent job. It looks great." All the while I wanted to reach out to my baby and check his pulse to see if he was really still alive. Just breathe, Paine. He's fine, I thought.

"Thank you," he said, smiling in return and grabbing more fake skin, blood and a few different types of make-up and powders to replicate burns. He turned back toward me. "Where can I do yours?"

"How about in the bedroom?" I suggested. "That's where we're going to take the pictures and I don't want to risk ruining the make-up."

"Sure," he said, gathering all his materials and following me into the bedroom. "Now do you have like a tank top and some shorter shorts?"

"I do!" Rikku said, thrusting her hand into the air. "I'll go get 'em!"

Rikku rushed out of the room before I got a chance to tell her I had some of my own and returned just as fast with a dark red tank top and some black cloth shorts. First he had me lay on the bed in just my undergarments so he could start putting all the make-up on.

"Where would you like the burns?" He asked, grabbing a canister of fake skin.

"How about my face and my hands?"

"Sounds good to me."

He made the whole right side of my face look like someone had taken a blowtorch to it and even made my hair look like it had been burned as well. My hands were a little bit harder for him to do. He made it look like I had used my hands to defend my face from being damaged so the majority of the burn make-up was on the backs of my hands. After the burns were completed, he began to put several cuts along my abdomen, arms and legs so it looked like I had been carved up like a side of beef. He also added a couple of stab wounds to my chest for dramatic effect. Because my skin was so light he didn't need to put any white powder on me to make it look like I had really died.

He grabbed a dropper from his kit in the kitchen and administered two drops to each of my eyes. My eyes started to burn and I was tempted to rub them but instead I just blinked it away. "What was that?"

"I just dilated your eyes," he said, putting the dropper back in his kit. "You know, to complete the effect. Jordan's eyes will be closed the entire time so I don't have to dilate his."

I nodded and fought the temptation to scratch my eyes for it would mess up the work that Josiah had done to my face. Both Rikku and Lulu then helped me put on the tank top and shorts. I carefully adjusted my position on the bed after I was dressed to make it look a little more natural and looked up at Rikku.

"Hey, why don't we just take pictures instead of film this?" I suggested.

Rikku nodded. "That's what we were considering," she said, putting her index finger on her chin. "But then we thought about what would happen if he wanted to see you."

I rolled my eyes. "Tell him I was cremated then fill an urn with some ashes."

"Like paper ashes?" She asked.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "That'll work. I've never seen human ashes before so I couldn't tell you what to use."

Josiah pulled a camera out of his kit and put some film into it. "I can have this developed later this afternoon. Now give me your best 'stone dead' pose."

I chuckled a small amount before opening my mouth slightly and freezing. I heard Rikku gasp as Josiah snapped the first picture of me.

"Wow," she breathed, shock resonating through her voice.

I rolled my eyes again before Josiah took the next picture of my burned face. He was careful not to get too close so Baralai wouldn't be able to tell that all of this was fake.

After he finished snapping pictures of me, he moved on to Jordan and got a few really good shots of him before turning back to us. "I'm going to go see if there's a place here in town where I can develop this."

"I know where it is," Gippal said. "I'll show you." He gave Rikku a quick peck on the lips before he led Josiah out.

I got up from the bed and looked at myself in the mirror. I had to get fairly close because the drops Josiah put in my eyes made it hard for me to see straight. I almost did a double take when I actually saw what Josiah had done to my face.

Rikku smiled. "So, you think it'll work?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah," I said, touching my face lightly. "If this doesn't work nothing will. I might as well sign my divorce papers right now."