Chapter 87

Anna took a deep breath watching him pull away from her, how she wanted to tell him not to go. "It's late, why don't...stay please." She needed him to be a friend, she didn't want to be alone, she didn't want to sleep with him just have him close to her for a little longer before reality set in again. She felt her stomach start to flip flop again. Before he could answer her she had to make a mad dash for the bathroom on her knees worshipping the porcelain goddess again. Tears falling as she realized that she was probably not going to have company tonight.

Doug followed her into the bathroom. He knelt down beside her and rubbed her back. He wished he could take away all the pain she had... he'd do it in a second, but he couldn't. She did ask him to stay. He looked at his watch and realized how late it was. Good thing they both didn't have to work tomorrow. He thought about it for a second. He really didn't feel all that well, he was cold, his clothes were wet, and it was raining. He waited a second until he thought she wouldn't be sick anymore before he got up and held out his hand for her. He would have picked her up but his back hurt too badly. "Come on..." he said."Ill stay for a little while."

She tried to smile, she was tired, she took his hand and she used her other hand to wipe her face. "Thank you."

Doug pulled her up and put his arm around her shoulder as they walked into her bedroom. He pulled back the covers for her to climb into. He took off his sweatshirt but stayed for the most part dressed. He didn't even want to think about going there tonight. As they both lay down Doug clicked off the lights and put his arm around her waist. He set his cool hand under her shirt and rested it on her stomach...to almost ward away the nausea. He sighed as the thought of something classy and caring to say. Nothing came to his mind except a song. "she feels safe now in this bar on Fairfax and from the stage I can tell that she can't let go and she can't relax and just before she hangs her head to cry I sing to her a lullaby, I sing everything's gonna be all right rockabye, rockabye everything's gonna be all right rockabye, rockabye, rockabye." it wasn't the love song he wanted to sing to her, but he hoped she heard the part that counted. 'Everything's going to be alright"

She closed her eyes feeling the comfort of his arm around her, listening to his soothing voice as she let herself be taken off to the land of dreams. She was warm safe and secure once again. They were sitting on the beach, the sun setting, the sky turning to the brilliant pinks, and oranges with the wispy clouds added color to it. She was sitting in front of him lying against his chest. It was her favorite time of day. They got up and started to walk down along the beach, happy together as if nothing had ever came between them, she could hear his voice talking to her saying to her I love you now and forever. She rolled over in her sleep, "I love you, I always have and I always will."

Doug's mouth fell open as he heard her talk in her sleep. "Oh man" he said to himself. Maybe this had been a mistake...but he felt the same way about her. She was the only one he could see himself with. Maybe the baby would bring them closer together. Was he really ready to be a father again? He rolled over on his side to think to himself. After an hour his mind began to cloud as he became more and more tired. He had wanted to get up and go home but his body wouldn't move. Somehow he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Anna stretched shaking her head as she pulled her arms up over her head. She hadn't opened her eyes yet. She wanted to stay in that half asleep world. She slowly sat up realizing that wasn't her best choice yet once again. This was getting old. How was she supposed to function with this constantly occurring? She dashed for the bathroom. She had left the compazine in her locker at work. She finally stumbled out to the kitchen where she tried to find tea and crackers. "3 months Anna, it only lasts the first 3 months. 1 and a half down 1 and a half to go." she said to herself as she found the tea kettle and threw it on the stove before walking over to the couch and flopping down on it face first.

Doug stretched out on the bed. He felt like he was in his house for a moment until...that smell...his eyes opened as he thought of Anna. He looked around and was snapped back into reality as he realized where he was. Doug squinted at the sunlight that was beaming through the window shades. He glanced at the clock and saw it was almost eight. After a few more minutes he got up and walked around looking for his stuff. He didn't know where Anna was...or if he could still leave without being noticed. He walked into the living room to grab his jeans when he saw her on the couch. She looked sick again. Doug walked over and sat on the edge by her head. Gently he pulled her hair away from her face. "Sorry for sleeping in so late...have you been out here long?"

"It's okay you needed it." She said softly as she tried to sit up, her eyes closed. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as if to hold everything in there. "I've only been up a few minutes. I want to say thanks for everything. I uh, appreciate it, it means a lot."

Doug laughed. "Yeah I'm sure...well you're welcome for making you throw up every thirty minutes...have crazy mood swings...and letting you see your friends beat each other up. It's my specialty you know, I'm here for you." he joked, trying to get her to smile. He hated serious conversations. They had enough to last them a lifetime. "So..." Doug said standing up. "You're not really going to keep that car right?"

"The car, oh I don't know." She said leaning back against the couch. "I know it's kind of flashy..."She paused for a minute, "Do you want me to get something else? Please not a minivan."

Doug laughed at her. "Oh come on...I drive a jeep. You really think I'd let you get a minivan? I told you I'd help you find a car, so if you want help I will. Otherwise you can keep your sports car and haunt my dreams at night." he said grabbing his clothes and walking into the bathroom. He got dressed and came out tossing the sweats back at her. "Or I could stop being an ass and let you have the weekend to yourself."

"You're not being an ass...with my hormones going awol trust me I'd tell ya if ya were." She said laughing, "I'll take the Beemer back to the lot. I can't haunt your dreams at night that wouldn't be fair. But you have to promise that you are not going to put me in some big steel boat that drives like a bloody tank so that you think I am safe. I mean it I am not getting some old grandma car. So if that's your plan mister you had better come up with a plan b pretty fast. I can out stubborn even you," She smiled, "you have met your match in that department."

"Ha-ha...ok, ok. Well go get cleaned up then. I have to run by County and drop some papers off but I should be ready by noon. Want me to pick you back up here or are you coming along?"

"I left my compazine in my locker I need to pick it up before I throw up." She said smiling. "Can you wait for me and I'll tag along." She looked at him sticking her lower lip out, "I want to drive my new sports car once more before you make me give it back." She headed into the bedroom grabbing clean clothes, "are you okay with that."

Doug shook his head. If someone were watching them now they would have no idea of what they had both been through the past few days...much less the things they had said to each other. They almost seemed like real friends but Doug knew better. He would never let himself be in that position again where he felt so vulnerable. "Yeah...come on down. Just don't kill me ok?" he said as she walked away. Doug started getting his things together and fixed up her living room a little while he was waiting for her to get ready.

She threw on a sweatshirt and jeans. She grabbed a pony tail holder pulling her hair up as she walked back out to the living room, holding it between her teeth as she walked over to the kitchen turning off the burner, "would I do something like that." She said as she pulled it from her mouth winding it around her hair. She smiled a very large grin, "you want to drive it there? See how sweet of a ride it really is? I mean it has a 3.2L I-6 333HP engine, 6-speed manual transmission with overdrive, 4-wheel anti-lock brakes , side door mounted airbags, tube 1st row overhead airbag, airbag occupancy sensor, automatic, 18" alloy wheels, cruise control, ABS and driveline traction control, and a DSC III stability control. It might be nothing more than a sports car, but it's a dang safe sports car." She said trying to impress him with her knowledge of her car. After all he had no idea that she knew more about cars that she had let on. "I mean you jeep is what a 4 liter with an I-6 too 5 speed manual, 4 wheel drive with front and rear curtain airbags and anti-lock 4 disc brakes."

Doug grinned. Boy was that a turn on. "oh I'll let you drive it, it sounds like your pride and joy...are you want to give it up?" he still was having trouble with his motion in his feet and didn't want to risk driving, besides it sounded like Anna wanted to soak up every moment.

"Well it's not my pride and joy... After all it's just a car." She said smiling as she picked up her keys tossing them in her hand, "under the hood is one mean machine." She laughed, "And yeah I did look under the hood before I bought it. I wouldn't by anything unless I did. I do rather enjoy the looks that the car salesman gave when I asked to see under the hood. Guess not many women do that. As for giving it up, well...yeah I guess so...it's probably not very practical now."

Doug was almost dying...she probably knew more about cars than he did. "Well, we'll get ya something good, I promise. I'm looking forward to riding in that thing now...come on let's go." he said walking out the door. He was glad the weather was nice today. They could roll down the window and drive for a little, forget for awhile everything that was going on. He stood and stared at the car while he waited for Anna. Black was a damn good color.

She hit the button and unlocked the doors. "Hop in." She said as she slid into the driver's seat. She put her keys in the ignition turning the car on. She reached down and put the top back, "button up your coat and buckle up baby we're going for a ride. Anna's taking her new car for a joy ride." She said as she popped a CD into the CD player. She negotiated out of the parking lot and headed out of the city. "I want to have the wind blowing in my hair before I give this baby back." She took a short cut out of the city and was now on a small two lane highway. "This is my favorite road to getaway on. There's no one out here." She said as she turned the stereo up, let her hair out of its pony tail and hit 55. She needed this; it was a momentary escape from the reality that was facing her in Chicago.