Disclaimer: I own all the dialogue, description, and basically all the words in this chapter. I also own Dèsirèè. I don't own Jack, the Black Pearl, or Jack's sexiness. I also have misplaced my mind. If you find it, please return it to the following address:

666 Devil's Drawers Drive

Room 667 (I'm the neighbor of the beast)

The Bowels of Hell

Author's Note: Would you look at that! I'm actually updating when I said I would! I said I would update in a month and, indeed, it is exactly one month! WOOT! I actually did what I promised. (Thousand Faces sees herd of pigs fly outside window) Okay this chapter is kind of my 'They haven't got me into high school yet, those bastards!' chapter. I actually have the next chapter half way typed up so I might post again tomorrow. Wouldn't that be just too kooky? (It starts snowing in hell)

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After making their way back up the hallway, Jack walked back across his room, stepping on many of the various objects littering his floor without faltering. Dèsirèè however was kept busy jumping over things to keep from squashing them. Jack, completely oblivious to Dèsirèè's plight, continued walking until he reached a map of the Caribbean that was nailed to the wall. He turned around to see Dèsirèè haphazardly hop scotching towards him, her arms flailing to keep her balance. Jack couldn't help but chuckle.

Dèsirèè looked up, her eyebrow raised warningly. This only succeeded in making her look more ridiculous as she was standing on one foot and strongly resembled an angry flamingo. Jack's smile widened.

"Have you heard of the concept of 'picking things up' Jack?" asked Dèsirèè, still stranded in the middle of the room.

"Oh aye." Jack walked over to her. "Forgive me for not doing this sooner." Jack bended down to the floor.

"I know it's none of me business but this room is-" Dèsirèè let out a cry as Jack, quite literally, lifted her up off of her feet, cradled her in his arms, and began to walk back to the wall. "Bloody 'ell, what do you think your doing ye git?" shouted Dèsirèè swatting at his hands.

"Picking up."

"If ye don't want various parts of your body to be served to ye for supper, I strongly suggest you PUT ME DOWN!"

"Well, I understand I'm delicious. Want a taste luv?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Dèsirèè pulled his hat over his eyes. Being suddenly blinded, Jack dropped her abruptly. Luckily, she managed to land on her feet, wobbling slightly. She turned to Jack who was still struggling with his hat. "Jack, let me put this as bluntly as possible," Jack managed to uncover his eyes; "I'm really...really not interested." She pulled his hat tautly over his head again, causing him to curse profusely.

Turning away from the now sightless Jack, Dèsirèè looked at the map hung on the wall. Upon closer inspection of the wall, she could see a rectangular line that seemed to form the shape of a door. Running her hands over the wall, she found, inside a knot hole, a small space large enough for only two fingers. Dèsirèè placed her fingers in the hole and pulled. The hidden door swung open. She poked her head inside cautiously. Fortunately for her, it was nothing more than a room. If you could call it a room. It was more like a box with a bed and a table in it. Still, Dèsirèè mused, it was considerably better than sleeping in an, uh, used bed.

When she turned back to Jack, he was spinning around in circles, trying to remove the tight hat from on top of his head. Dèsirèè burst out laughing. "Jack, did you ever consider a career in dance? You would make a wonderful ballerina."

Jack turned to what he thought was Dèsirèè (a tall lamp) and began shouting, "Ye are trying me patience Moore. I suggest ye show your captain a little more respect than that or ye can get the 'ell off me ship!"

"MY captain? Oh, I don't like the sound of that. Well I suppose me and my map will just leave than, shall we?" she made a move towards the cabin door, making the floorboards squeak.

Jack knew that that was the sound of money walking out the door. He really did not like that sound.

"Now just wait one bloody minute," he cried reaching out to grip the lamppost as if it we're a fleeing criminal. He stopped speaking when he slowly realized that what he was holding was not Dèsirèè's wrist. He heard her laugh again.

"In today's lesson," she said, walking over and removing Jack's hat, "we learn that you need me a lot more than I need you. Let's keep that in mind shall we?" Dèsirèè grinned evilly and made her way over to one of the chairs in front of Jack's desk. He followed her, stepping behind the desk and plopping down in his leather chair. "Fine. But I'm warning you, keep this up and I won't care how much treasure I'll lose. I'll throw that shapely arse of yours into the ocean."

Dèsirèè flinched noticeably, the laughter dieing out of her eyes, her limbs stiffening.

"What is it?" asked Jack, his curiosity peaked.

"Nothing." Her voice was clipped and cold. Jack actually found himself shivering slightly. "You wanted to talk about the map, yes?"

"Um, yeah, I think it'd be best if I could see it."

Dèsirèè shook her head vigorously. "If you see that map than there's no reason for me to be in on this venture. You could kill me and then take my share of the treasure. Strangely enough, I would prefer to live."

Jack's eyes narrowed. What was that supposed to mean? "Alright, what's your plan then?"

"I'll tell you where to go. Every time we reach a destination, I'll give you the next pair coordinates. When we're nearing the island, I'll take over steering. We get filthy rich. Everyone goes home happy."

"You're askin' me to put a lot of trust in ye, luv."

"I'm sure you can manage it..." she smiled, but weakly this time, "pumpkin."

Jack winced. He was really going to have to work on that. He couldn't have her call him that in front of the crew. They'd never let him live it down.

"Anything else?" asked Dèsirèè

"Just one more thing. Those men, the ones we fought with-"

"That was nothing I assure you. We shouldn't expect any trouble from them."

Jack eyed her suspiciously. She answered that awfully fast. "They mentioned a name, a Capn. Thorn."

Once again, Dèsirèè's crystal blue eyes turned to ice. "Someone I owe a little money to. But, the last time I checked he was only the captain of a fishing sloop."

"I see." There was something she wasn't telling him, he knew it. But what?

"If you don't mind," said Dèsirèè, rising from her chair, "I think I'll turn in."

"Be my guest."

She went to the hidden door and opened it. As she was stepping inside, Jack called after her. "If the bed seems a little cold I could always come in there and-"

"GOODNIGHT, Sparrow."

"G'night. Oh wait!" he said as Dèsirèè was closing the door.

"What is it?" she poked her head back into the room

"You haven't told me where to set me course tomorrow."

"Oh. We're going to..."

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MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! MW-BW-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Evil cliffie! I'm so proud of meself. Satan is too. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to my new home, River Hill High School. Yes I actually am showing school spirit. (Demons begin ice skating)

Adios Amigos,

Thousand Faces.