Chapter 91:

She felt like she had been thru the wringer. Every inch of her ached in some form or another. Abby had given her the note from Doug and she half smiled when she read it. Kerry had said that she wanted to talk to her but they had gotten busy again. It would be awhile from the looks of it. It was pretty late, but it was the first time that she had actually been close to being all the way awake. The morphine was knocking her for a loop and after several attempts and trying to push the buttons on the phone in the right order she finally gave up and asked the med student standing there looking at her like she was some freak of nature to dial the phone for her.

Doug opened his eyes slowly at the sound of his cell phone. He glared at the red numbers on the clock that read 3:00 am. His phone shook on the table as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Doug grabbed it and flipped it open. "Hello?" he asked sleepily.

"Oh man I woke you." Anna said, glaring at the med student who was now messing with her IV. "Sorry I didn't mean too, but it's the first chance I got to call."

"No...It's ok" Doug said rubbing his eyes and laying down on his back again. He wasn't about to complain. "Sorry I had to leave I...well how are you doing?" Doug didn't want to get into that conversation again, especially not on the phone this early in the morning. He was just glad he had tomorrow off.

"I'm okay, been better, I can't believe though that they are having the med student that about got me killed sitting here baby sitting me." She was still glaring at him, "I'm just waiting for Kerry to come back. She said she needed to talk to me but she wouldn't say what about. And they are getting hammered out there..." She paused for a minute, "don't touch that morphine drip or I will break both your arms."

Doug smiled. "Well at least you sound like yourself...and you're not throwing up so there's a plus right there!" Doug shifted in bed as he began to wake up a little. "So did they find the guy? You need to talk to the police or something. Boy if I had been there I would have tried my best to kick his ass." Doug said almost laughing. He knew better than anyone that he would have lost that fight miserably. "Wonder what Weaver wants to talk to you about."

"Not that I know of. But then I haven't had a chance to ask. You would think that people would know not to close a door when you're in with a nut case." She said shifting in the bed. "I have no idea what Kerry wants. Probably knowing my luck to yell at me for putting myself in such a stupid, irresponsible position to begin with. I should know better than that." She now couldn't help but laugh, "you know this is pretty good stuff...I'm not feeling anything right now...hopefully doorknob boy here doesn't have it...up...to high..."

"Ut ohhh" Doug said with a laugh. "You're making me jealous. I want to have some groovy pain meds like that." he sighed as he searched for anything else to say. "Well, i better let you get some sleep. Call me tomorrow ok? ill come and check up on you if you aren't out yet...I might help ya break out or something on my day off...I'm just glad you're ok." he ended more seriously that he began but he couldn't help it. Although he was still worried about her talking to her diminished it greatly. "Goodnight Anna, call if you need anything."

"Yeah sounds like a plan to me." She was getting sleepy again. This stuff was too good. "Hey don't worry about me I'll be...just... fine...I'll...call...you...when...I...get...ho..." She was out like a light. The med student picked the phone up not sure if he should say anything to the person on the other end, "she's out."

Doug shook his head. He wanted to say 'no crap dumb ass' but just went for lighter sarcasm. "Gee thanks" he said as he clicked his phone closed. Doug got up and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. After taking a few gulps he walked back to his bedroom and jumped into bed. It was around 3:30 and he knew he needed to grab some Z's. After grabbing another blanket from the ground Doug wrapped it around himself and fell asleep. He would go to home depot tomorrow to get paint for Anna's room. It would be a nice surprise for her and it would give him something to do with his day off.

Kerry walked into Anna's room finally around 6 am. She didn't want to have to be the one to break the news to her but she needed to do it before going off shift.

Anna slowly sat up when she felt Kerry shaking her and calling her name.

"Anna, I have something that I need to talk to you about." Kerry said sitting down near the bed.

Anna looked at her, "what is it Kerry?" She didn't like the look on Kerry's face. It was clearly screaming that something was wrong.

Kerry started to slowly explain what had happened.

As Anna took in what she was being told her heart broke in two. She fell back on the bed fighting back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She wasn't pregnant, she had lost the baby. Life wasn't fair.

Kerry tried to offer her a hug and support, but Anna shrugged her off she really just wanted to be alone right now. She got up telling her that she'd be able to go home in a few hours. If she could keep some food down and take oral pain meds she'd be out of there by ten.

Anna curled up on her side the best that she could manage, she knew that she should call Doug, but she had called him just three hours ago. If he had managed to get back to sleep she didn't want to wake him back up just to listen to her crying over the phone. No she would find a way to tell him other than over the telephone. It didn't take long before she had cried herself back to sleep. Getting out of here wouldn't come soon enough for her. She just wanted to go back to her home in her own bed to be with her newfound misery.

Doug rolled awake at seven. The sun was coming in through his window and it looked beautiful outside. He got up and threw on some kaki pants and a tee-shirt before grabbing his wallet and heading for home depot. 'Good things they open early' Doug thought as he pulled up in the lot. He had stopped to get breakfast so it was nearly eight and the store was starting to crowd in the Sunday morning crunch. After looking for a few minutes Doug found some primer and brushes. He didn't want to pick a color in case Anna didn't like it so he thought he just get the primer and edging done. After everything was paid for he went over to Anna's apartment. He sweet talked his way in to another old lady and walked up to her room. Her apartment was fairly old and it didn't take much but the credit card trick to get him into the room. Doug closed the door and found her radio. After finding a suitable station he set up everything and started to paint.

Anna had picked at her food so it took her longer to get out of there than she wanted. But she had managed to keep it down and her pain pills too. She got a resident to write her a couple of scripts and waited for the pharmacy to send them up while she signed the discharge papers. When they came up she put the dilaudid and robaxin in her coat and headed out side the hospital. It was bright outside as she pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. It at least hid the shiner that she had.

She was also glad that she lived close because she was tired and groggy still. Taking the pain meds had helped with the pain but made her head cloudy; it was hard to even think straight right now. She walked slowly, the jostling of walking made her achy. She wrapped her arms around her chest to try to keep from jarring her ribs. She thought that she saw Doug's jeep in the parking lot but shrugged it off as a hallucination. It's not like he was the only person in Chicago who drove a jeep. It had to belong to someone in the building.

She opened the front door and stood now at the bottom of the stairs...'third floor Anna, what the hell where you thinking when you moved in.' She slowly made her way up the stairs and to her apartment door. The door was unlocked and she remembered locking it when they had left yesterday. She slowly opened the door and could hear the radio on. She reached into the closet and grabbed her seven iron. Thank god she was a doctor who golfed, wait that was just about every doctor she knew. She left the door open slowly making her way further into the apartment.

"I know that someone is in here," She called out, trying to get her shaky voice to carry over the radio, her hand shaking as she held onto the seven iron. It hurt as she lifted it up to be ready to swing, she could at least cause enough damage to whoever was in there that she could make a clean break for the door. Not that she was in any shape to actually connect with anyone. She was extremely jumpy after last night, and scared to death of who might actually be in her apartment, "come out whomever the hell you are."

Doug thought he heard Anna's voice. He turned down the radio and realized that she thought he was an intruder. He walked out slowly. "Anna its Doug. It's ok"

She let out a sigh of relief when she heard his voice. "You scared the crap out of me." Anna said as she dropped the golf club instead of swinging it at him. She made her way over to the couch dropping her meds on the coffee table and slipping out of her coat before she gimped over to close the door. . "Granted I am glad that it's you, but how did you get in here and what are you doing?" As she spoke she walked over and sat down on the couch. As much as she didn't want to once he explained what he was doing there they were going to have to have that serious conversation.

"Credit card trick." Doug said with a grin. "I learned it in college when I'd lock myself out of my dorm room. You know...slide the credit card against the lock...easy way to get into old buildings. Actually you need to get better locks." he said smiling. Doug leaned against the door hinge and crossed his arms. "Actually I was trying to surprise you. I thought I'd get a head start on the painting. Don't worry I didn't buy any colors yet, but I was thinking something neutral. You know...boy or girl either way. My mom painted my room pink hoping I was a girl and it kind of scarred me don't you think?" he said with a smile

"Yeah better locks." She said she rubbed the back of her neck, reaching for the bottle of pain meds. She popped a couple in her mouth. "About the baby, uh, oh god," she said as she leaned back against the couch, "I don't know how to say this... what Kerry had to talk to me about... I honestly didn't know until a little while ago... oh hell," Anna said as she put her head on her hand looking at the floor rather than him so she could avoid seeing any pain that was about to cross his face, her voice was now not much more than a whisper as she struggled to get the words out with out turning into an emotion basket case, "I...I miscarried last night, I'm sorry Doug, I am so sorry... I lost the baby."

The emotion slid off of Doug's face. Hearing those words hurt more than he thought. After thinking of himself for a second he realized he had to think about Anna as well. He walked over to her and sat down on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry Anna." He wanted to be there for her if she needed someone to cry with. As much as it hurt him he could only imagine what carrying a child felt like...and then losing it. He didn't know how to comfort her...or what to say other than to just be there with her.

She didn't pull away and didn't fight the tears that were now in her eyes. She blamed herself for this. When she spoke her voice was low and soft, "it's all my fault...I knew better, but yet I still went in there..." The emotions inside her will still raw, almost as raw as when Kerry broke the news to her. "Please don't hate me. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Doug tried to roll back his tears. It was his turn to be strong. "Ohh sweetheart...i don't hate you." he pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. "It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known this was going to happen." Doug gently rubbed her back. He knew no matter what he said she was going to feel bad. "Don't think for a second I'm mad, because I'm not...not at you. I'm upset with the situation...and i could kill that patient, but I'm not angry with you. Don't ever think that."

She stayed right where she was letting the tears fall. Letting him be her only source of comfort right now. She knew that this was just as hard on him as it was on here. It didn't take long for the dilaudid to kick in and sleep to take a hold of her.

Doug felt her go limp a little and realized she was probably pretty tired. He scooted back into the couch and put her head in his lap and he feet on the couch. Doug pulled a blanket over her and gently stroked her face. 'How could this happen?' he thought to himself. Just as i got use to the idea of having a child it gets taken away?' he sighed as he let his thoughts take over his mind, although he never let his touch leave Anna. She needed someone it be there for her and, for better or worse, it was him.

The events of the night before were vivid and real, reliving them. She could feel him still there with her, the barrage of kicks, the slamming of her up against the wall. She couldn't get away, she wanted to fight but she couldn't she was trapped and she couldn't get out, she couldn't get away. It hurt so badly, she bolted upright gasping for air realizing that it had all been nothing more than a dream haunting her.

Doug felt Anna shoot up, gasping and breathing hard. He immediately wrapped an arm around her chest. "It's ok Anna...just a dream." he pulled her back unto a tight hug until he felt her relax a little. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." It was easier to lie; she didn't want to talk about it. Kerry had wanted her to talk to someone about it, something about suffering from PTSD. She just needed to pull herself together and get her head out of her arse. She reached over once more for the bottle to take a couple more even though she had no idea what time it was.

Doug took the bottle from her. "Hey...you just took some 30 minutes ago. If you're in that much pain let me take you back to the hospital." he knew how he sometimes over medicated when things weren't going right...actually as of lately. She didn't need to be doing the same thing. Especially not with that strong of drugs.

What did he think he was her mother? "No, I don't need to go back there." She said keeping her tone inline.

Doug could sense some disdain in her voice. "alright." he said moving her over and standing up. "Maybe i should just go anyway. Ill clean up your room in there soon...sorry about the mess."

"You don't have to worry about it. I got it, I can clean it up, it was a nice offer though, and I do appreciate it." She said softly putting her hands back in her head, "I'll be fine."

"Yeah sure" Doug said holding the bottle in his hands. She didn't look alright but he didn't want to push her to talk. She was probably sick of him being around all the time anyway. Doug walked into the other room and set two pills by her bed. He slipped the bottle into his pocket as he grabbed his jacket and bag. He hoped she wouldn't be mad but he didn't want to leave her at home with all of her meds, besides it would give him a good excuse to come over later and hang out with her. No one needed to be alone all night after a day like she had. After he got his things together he walked back into the living room and headed towards the door. He opened it up and turned around. "Hey...I'm going home to do some work, might be out a little but call me if you need to ok? Ill always have time for you."

"Yeah sure," She said not bothering to look up, "want to give me back my dilaudid please before you go?" If he wasn't going to it wasn't like she didn't have something else she could take, not that she was going to tell him that.

Doug didn't even flinch. He could lie with the best of them. "It's by your bed." he turned to shut the door but stopped instead. "That stuff's strong Anna" he was going to go on but decided better of it. He quickly closed the door and headed out for his car. She didn't need anymore than he had left for her anyway. He would bring it back. 'What it's not like I'm going to take it' he said to himself shaking his head. He felt bad for leaving; she did seem a little strange. After jumping into his car Doug decided it might be fun to blow off some steam at a basketball court. It had been a little while since he had practiced and it couldn't hurt as long as he took it slow.