Author's Note: And finally, Kadaj POV.
Kadaj hears mother clearly. He always had, even in the labs where the white, sterilized walls had muffled everything else. He always would, because mother loves him, and will never let him be alone.
He hears his mother clearly, but he does not always understand her words. She tells him that he is her favorite among all her children, but she speaks frequently of another, and with more fondness than when she talks directly to him. She tells him of two older brothers, one loved and one who had betrayed her, but Loz and Yazoo, the only brothers Kadaj has ever known, are never mentioned. She talks about the prodigal son, but not of Kadaj's real brothers, as if they do not exist.
She tells him of things he must do. To escape from the lab, and it had been with a small amount of guilt that Kadaj freed his brothers on his way, though that had not been in his mother's instructions. To go to the city of Midgar, and wait. And finally, to find her, and free her from her captors, something Kadaj had not yet achieved. His mother speaks in abstract terms, and he finds it difficult to understand her directions to her location. She punishes him for his incomprehension, for not being good enough, not as good as… her eldest son. The one mother speaks of with such fondness. She comforts him afterwards, but as she tells him that he really is her favorite, the best of all her children, it pains Kadaj to know that his mother speaks lies.
It wouldn't bother him so much if he knew his mother is wrong, that in her lies there are truth, that he is the best. But he knows he is not. That he is simply a replacement, a poor substitute, and not what his mother really wants at all.
"Kadaj? Are you okay?"
Kadaj rolls over in the bed to meet Loz's worried eyes. He realizes with some surprise that there are tears running down his face. This is not like him. Only Loz in the past has cried in his sleep.
"Kadaj."
On his other side, Yazoo is awake as well. At this, Kadaj is not surprised. His brothers understand him. They know when something is wrong, even when Kadaj doesn't want them to. They know when it hurts, even when Kadaj barely recognizes it himself.
"Kadaj…" Loz, as always overly conscious of his superior strength, gingerly places a hand on Kadaj's cheek. "Is mother… is she…" hurting you isn't said, but Kadaj knows.
Kadaj shakes his head. "No. But we're taking too long to find her." I'm taking too long. It's my fault, not yours.
But such a subtle difference, between we and I and you with all of them being together so long, this Loz cannot understand, and he flinches at the perceived criticism in Kadaj's words. "I'm sorry, brother."
You shouldn't be. You've done nothing wrong. "I know." It isn't an acceptance. It isn't a rejection. It isn't anything, but the pain inside Kadaj is just a little too much for him to care.
Kadaj rolls back over and closes his eyes. This does not free him from his brothers, for they are in his mind almost as much as their mother is, but Yazoo's impartial gaze is much easier to take than Loz's hurt.
After a moment, both his brothers lie back down. Yazoo's breathing evens out almost immediately, but Loz's is unsteady for a long time before he, too, returns to sleep. Kadaj stays awake, staring blindly at the ceiling of their hideout, and wonders why he understands his brothers so easily, so completely, when his mother continues to evade him. Why his brothers know him, when his mother does not.