Chapter 96:

Doug got finished with his patient and needed to change his shirt again.

Jerry saw him and laughed. "Man it must be bad karma or something Dr. Ross!"

Doug just screwed on a smile. "Yeah kind of."

Jerry remembered what Anna had told him and stopped Doug. "Oh Dr. Ross, Dr Del Amico asked me to give this to you." he said as he pulled the latter out from his jacket.

Doug took it and looked at it for a second. "Where is she?"

Jerry just shook his head. "Don't know, I didn't ask. She headed upstairs though. If I see her again I'll let her know you're looking for her though."

Doug started to walk off still looking at the envelope. "Yeah thanks" he said. Doug didn't have time to read it right then so he folded it up and stuck it in his back pocket. He walked into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. He looked really tired. "I just need some coffee" he told himself. Doug got out of the bathroom and ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed as he pushed open the door to the lounge to change his shirt and get some caffeine. He walked over to his locker not seeing the other man in the room.

Justin watched the, what had to be a doctor, walk into the room and to the locker. Seeing the name as he opened it. "So I take it you're the Doug that Anna has been going on about."

Doug turned to look at the man. He almost startled him. Doug was so tired he didn't even notice. "Yeah, I'm Doug Ross." he said pulling off his shirt quickly and throwing on another one. Doug clipped his ID back on and stuck the pen in his pocket. The man's tone hadn't been kind but rather had a little attitude in it so Doug gave him some back, he didn't need this crap today. "Why, what's it to you?"

"I'm Justin. Anna is my sister. That's what it is to me." He said standing up. "I think you and I need to have a small talk."

Doug rolled his eyes and puffed out his chest a little. A small cocky grin slid onto his face. He was in the right mood to take this punk out if it came to it. "I think you just need to sit back down there GI Joe. I have work to do."

Justin took a step closer to Doug, two could play this game. He wasn't scared of him. "I've seen your work, you should be so proud of your handiwork with my sister."

Doug's mouth dropped open and he took a quick step in. "What did you say?' he asked raising his voice. "I didn't do anything to Anna." this guy was on the verge of crossing the line with him.

"Oh yeah right you didn't do anything to her, just knocked her up, and treated her so well when she lost the baby." He said, "god help my sister for loving you, I've watched her crash and burn before but I'll be damned if I am going to watch her crash and burn because of some doc wanna be."

Doug rolled his neck. This guy had no clue what was going on in his personal life. Doug shoved him in his shoulder and raised his voice again. "You don't know the first thing about my life. I'm telling you now, you better sit down and shut the hell up real quick or I'm going to make you. You don't know me, or what happened between Anna and I so leave it alone." Doug got in his face more than he should have but he was on a really shirt fuse.

"You've got some nerve. I have been doing nothing but listening to Anna for past day. I know more than I want to." Justin said standing his ground. "The last time I stayed out of her life she ended up married to a drug addict, now she's gone head over heels for some dumb ass who abandons her when she needs someone the most. If you think that I am just going to stand back and watch her get hurt all over again you have another thing coming."

Doug was going to pop off again but Weaver would kill him if he started another fight. "Man...I have work to do. You just need to grow up a little there Private. Anna's a big girl." He said turning to walk away.

Justin reached for Doug's shoulder, "she's still my little sister. Who doesn't need to be used by the likes of you. I'm sorry that my sister lost her baby but it makes me happy she's not pregnant with your little bastard anymore. You would have walked away from them both and not given a second thought about them."

Doug couldn't help it anymore. He had tried to let it go...but this guy deserved it, Anna's brother or not. Doug turned quickly and swung as hard as he could, connecting on the side of Justin's face underneath his chin. The connection made a loud crack as Doug's little finger broke. He had thrown everything he had into that punch but stayed on his feet ready to do it again. No one had the right to say that to him, and he wasn't going to let this punk get away with it, damn the consequences.

Justin rubbed the side of his face. "Oh did I set off the little man's fuse. Stay the hell away from my sister, psycho doc."

"Little man...you fckin Ahole." Doug said shoving him in his chest. "Why don't you get the hell out of here before I really hit ya...unless you're not man enough to swing back." he said shoving him again

"Yeah you little short shit." Justin said back as he swung at Doug, "I'm not afraid to fight you."

Doug hated being called small. His neck tingled as he was hit. It wasn't a smart idea to fight back but what the hell. Doug grabbed his shirt and threw him on the ground following on top of him.

Anna had finished meeting with Meyers and talked to Kerry, who had agreed to let her return to work. She had put everything on the line and was honest and open with Kerry about everything that had happened, she had a whole list of restrictions on top of her now, but she could work again. She headed for the lounge and opened the door to find Doug pummeling her brother. Anna let the door slam shut behind her before saying anything, "Justin Jacob Del Amico, what the hell is going on in here. Doug, get off my brother. His ass is mine to kick!"

Doug looked up and his face turned white as he saw Anna. He let go of Justin's shirt and stood up and away from him. As he did he felt the blood drip from his split lip. He wiped it away and stormed past them both without a word. He was so mad at Justin and that he would say such hurtful things to him without knowing everything. For showing up at his workplace and starting a fight...just for everything. He was still angry with Anna and didn't know what to do so he left. He just needed a second to calm down.

"What the hell do you think you were doing Justin." Anna was on the verge of screaming. "That's my boss! I just got my job back and you are fighting with my boss!" She didn't give him the chance to explain before she grabbed him by the back of the neck and hauled him out of the ER. "I told you not to start anything and here you are fighting. I don't know what has gotten into that pea brain of yours." They were now standing in the ambulance bay. She flipped open her phone, "you had better hope to god that Nat is home because if he doesn't come and get you I am going to kick your butt all the way back to my apartment." She talked to her other older brother for a minute, and then put her brother in the back of a cab. "You are not getting in my brand new car so that you can bleed all over it. I will talk to you later; I have to go and try to straighten this out now so that I don't lose the job that I just got back." She slammed the door to the cab shut. She walked back inside instead of heading to find Doug like she intended to Anna headed up to the roof to try to collect her for a few minutes. She was livid at Justin for what he had done.

Doug came down from his momentary anger high and was trying to stop the bleeding from his lip. He wanted to take a break and get away so he headed up to the roof. He could always think up there. As soon as he opened the door he regretted it. The wind was really blowing. He sighed as he saw Anna. He didn't even know she had come up there. Without a word he walked over to the other side of the roof and sat down on a railing with his back to her. Maybe she wouldn't even notice him...but he doubted it. He pulled the lighter out of his pocket and snapped it to light. He had given up smoking but playing with his Zippo somehow calmed him down. He closed it and snapped it open several times just looking at the flame.

She didn't walk over to him instead she just stayed where she was a few minutes before leaving the roof. He didn't need her up there. She got this feeling that he didn't want her to talk to him right now. He'd talk to her when he was ready and then she could explain her brother's behavior. She headed back down to the ER and walked outside the ambulance bay as she sat down on the bench wondering how her life could get so out of control.

Doug sat up on the roof for another fifteen minutes after Anna left just trying to get his thoughts together. He remembered he had the letter she had written to him. 'Well this is as alone as I am going to get today' he thought to himself. He reached and pulled the envelope out of his pocket and opened it up to read it.

Doug,

I know these 12 steps almost by heart now but never thought I would have to walk them myself. Where do I start with all the wrongs that I have done. I guess the place to start is walking away from you in Lexington like I did. It was never my intention to abandon you like I did. I was wrong to leave you alone, which I guess leads into my second wrong, lying to you about Angel. I should have been open with you, but I was being self-centered and self-righteous. Trust is not easy for me, it never has been, and well, now how can I expect it to be given something I can't give. Now for the hard part, I was wrong in not talking to you and using the pain meds as an escape. I lost control. The hurt, the anger, I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't want you to see all my fears and insecurities. But this is not about how I feel. I never should have hit you like I did. That is the greatest wrong I could have ever committed against you.

Granted I have no right to this of you, and if you can't I understand. I am not going to ask for forgiveness but for the chance to make amends for all my wrongs against you. For I know that all the sorry's in the world will never fix this. But I am sorry, for hurting you, walking away from you, for breaking your trust in me and for my greatest failure of all, losing our child. I am lost as to how to start to rebuild your trust and regain our friendship. I guess that only time will tell. ---Anna

Doug folded up the letter and threw it off the building. After thinking on the words he rubbed at his face. His hand hurt like hell and now so did his heart. She had tried to make the first step and he knew he had to forgive her. He couldn't hold a grudge forever. He snapped his lighter closed and walked downstairs. After looking around quickly he caught a glimpse of her in the ambulance bay sitting alone. He took a breath and slowly walked outside. He didn't say anything. He just walked over and sat next to her on the bench. He set his hands in his lap and looked at his broken knuckle. It would heal soon enough just like everything else. Right now he was more concerned on fixing their relationship. He sighed as he looked up and squinted into the sun. He wondered where to start. He hoped that she knew him coming down and sitting next to her was a big deal for him. He needed her to make the next move for him.

"I owe you an apology for my brother's behavior earlier. I shouldn't have left him alone in the lounge while I was at my meetings." She said as she looked at the ground.

Doug shook his head. It took him a second to respond. "No you don't. I should have just walked away. So I'm sorry for fighting...I read your letter though." he had to choke out the words. She needed to hear them whether he felt it all the way yet or not. "I accept your apology. I'm glad you're getting help."

She was almost shocked she didn't expect him to forgive her, not that fast. "I just want to make things right." She said softly as she leaned against the back of the bench. "I screwed up big time. The meeting should help. Myers well that's still debatable. But I told Kerry the whole story."

Doug couldn't look at her. He was still extremely angry with both her and her brother. He couldn't just sit there and go through small talk again, and he didn't want to go into her treatment. Doug stood up after a second. "Let me know when you want to go back to work. I'll need to talk with Kerry and work over some kind of punishment or restriction. I have work to do but umm...if you call me later we'll talk ok?" Doug walked back into the ER. He only had a few more hours to go until he could go home and get some sleep. He would have to deal with Anna later.

"Yeah tomorrow if you want." She said, "But I need to either be able to hit the 7 am or the 7 pm meeting if that can be arranged." Anna said standing up. "When you put me on the schedule just give me a call. I'm sure that Kerry would be more than happy to go over the list of restrictions that she had me sign. Don't get me wrong I am happy to have my job back." She looked at her watch after this morning another meeting wouldn't hurt. She started to walk away, but stopped, "thanks for understanding." She walked over to her car and got in before heading down the street.

"Yeah, yeah" Doug grumbled to himself. He looked around until he found Kerry working up a patient. "Can I talk to you when you have a second" he said quietly to her. "About Anna"

Kerry looked at him, "uh yeah I just finished here. Let's go into the lounge and talk." She said as she started down the hall, "I promised her that we would keep this just between the three of us."

"That's fine" he said pushing open the lounge door. "So let's talk."

"I'm assuming that you want to know what restrictions I have placed on her, first and for most no trauma's, she can't write scripts none, she has to have an attending sign off on all her charts, she can't handle pain meds she has to have someone else administer them, no procedures, 90 NA/AA meetings, she has to be willing to have random drug screens, I talked with Myers and he seems to think right now she has a pretty good hold on things, so I am not going to make her keep seeing him if she keeps up with her NA meetings. For the first couple of weeks half shifts only nothing over 6 hours, triage mostly if we can keep her there, ease her back in, keeping her load light. I want her to check in at least once a week with one of us to let us know how she's doing, make sure that she doesn't get in over her head. She seemed to understand maybe a little too well that this was for her own good and not to punish her for her mistake. I don't know her that well but I'm sure that it was." Kerry told him, "I also told her that was for the ER, Ped; those restrictions were up to you."

Doug nodded. Kerry actually seemed fair for once. "I'll probably just stick to the same ones...sounds good to me." Doug yawned and gently touched her arm. "Thanks Kerry for talking to me. I...better go finish my extended shift. I'm outta here in a few hours. Don't want to keep my patients waiting you know." he didn't want to give her time to ask him about his new injuries. He just wanted to get back to work and head for home. Doug walked over to admit and started to look through the charts again.