Disclaimer: I don't own Boku no Hero Academia

Chapter 191:

New York City, USA

"Wha- Ingenium?"

Iida Tensei turned his head and looked to the side of the gym just past all the wide observation windows to the doorway that had just opened. The young man in physical therapy turned more fully and looked in surprise towards the even younger man who spoke to him in Japanese while walking forward into the private gym, "What are you doing here?"

"Roady, right?" Tensei questioned the younger man who he recognized as well despite not being in costume. Tensei looked to the younger man's right side and down at his leg that Roady was walking into the room on, somewhat wobbly but walking steadily enough that the doctor who walked in with him was smiling while writing something down on her clipboard.

Urukio Endo stepped forward and then looked down in surprise at his own right leg that Ingenium was looking at. "You know, what happened to me?"

Iida rose his gaze back up, and he lifted his right hand he scratched the back of his head with, "I sort of became a little obsessed, with when heroes were crippled. Especially with leg injuries," Iida thought about the sympathy he had felt for Roady when he heard about the incident up in Hokkaido. "I had no idea you were coming here though. And you already had your surgery too?"

Roady nodded his head, and he looked at Ingenium's legs himself. "Stain, didn't take your legs, did he?"

"We do not serve only in prosthetics," a voice spoke up in English behind them. They looked back behind Roady and behind Dr. Khatri where a younger white woman was walking forward behind the Indian doctor who had been deeply involved with both of their surgeries.

Dr. Khatri seemed surprised by the sudden appearance of her boss, and she said, "Ms. Oarn. You're here?" She said it with her tone raising up at the end, wondering why as Entilla Oarn was rarely at their New York building. Oarn looked to Khatri and nodded, though with a look in her eyes warning Khatri to be careful about what she said while there were two heroes in the room.

"Entilla Oarn," Tensei Iida said, stepping forward and smiling brightly at the woman who he had read much about on Virtucorp's website.

Roady looked at the woman in surprise too, though he stepped forward with trepidation in his approach. There was a reason Roady had come all the way to New York different from Iida's reasons. Dr. Khatri had informed Ingenium of the complications considering how his legs were still attached and able to be fixed with their Cyborginization that had attached mechanical parts into his legs to make them better than new. Roady on the other hand, only needed a prosthetic and a simple surgery like the one Power Loader told him about in more detail in a private conversation the two of them had had after Roady made his decision to accept Zach's offer. When he accepted it though, he told himself he would investigate thoroughly to make sure the legitimacy of where he was getting this help from.

What's with the surprise? This is her building right? Virtucorp isn't a huge company either. Too new, and with too much money though it supposedly has many 'powerful and rich investors.' "It's good to meet you," Roady said when the thirty-one year old Caucasian woman looked to the younger of the two Japanese heroes in front of her.

Uh oh. That's the look of someone trying to figure out what's up with us. Can't just accept a free leg? Entilla Oarn smiled at the young man and her eyes brightened as she spoke, "You as well. I was very glad to hear that you accepted our offer for a prosthetic."

Iida looked to his side at Endo and said with a smile, "You too then?"

"Zach told you too-" Roady began in semi-confusion as he had not seen Ingenium in those video calls with Grappler and Power Loader.

Tensei's smile wiped from his face though and surprise covered it instead. "Zach, Sazaki?"

Dr. Khatri shook her head still with a calm look on her face while Oarn was feeling more nervous this time. Ingenium turned to his doctor who had contacted him directly for the offer, as Khatri began, "Endo got in contact with us first, unlike how I got in contact with you. He had questions about our company, which I told him and extended the same offer we gave you."

"I got in contact first," Roady said while looking back to Ingenium who was hearing this with an increased sense of skepticism each second. "Because Lifebringer told me he'd get me a free leg if I wanted. He did the same for Power Loader, offered Grappler new arms as well."

"Though we have yet to hear back from Grappler," Oarn mentioned, looking to Khatri to check if that was true. Dr. Khatri nodded her head with a tilt to the side, showing she knew they would not get 100% success in their attempts to help heroes. Oarn smiled back at the young men in front of her, and she told Iida Tensei directly, "We contacted you directly, as admittedly you were the most famous of those crippled heroes of Japan."

The men looked to the young entrepreneur who said while lifting up her right palm, "In order to help more heroes, we must first acquire product recognition. When people hear about our company, and non-heroes come to us and pay to have the same prosthetics and surgeries we have given you for free, then and only then will we begin to make a profit. Helping Ingenium would have given us the most recognition, I'm afraid. That is not to say we do not relish in the chance to assist any heroes we can. However, your surgery was expedited at the request of Lifebringer," Oarn added to Roady at the end with a light smile at the younger man.

Ingenium frowned though at Oarn's attempt which worked on Roady and made the younger man next to him grimace and look away as he started thinking about something else. Telling those three yourself while having me contacted directly by the organization, to make it out as if you had nothing to do with how they helped me. Oarn is not as good at hiding her true thoughts as Dr. Khatri is apparently. Ingenium could even see it on his doctor's face behind Oarn as she attempted not to look directly at the more experienced hero she saw out her peripheral vision putting things together.

Dang it, Iida thought with a sigh, and he just nodded at Oarn who changed the conversation and started questioning how their physical therapy was going and how their new legs were treating them. And I thought the talk I had with Tenya before I left was enough to make us even. Sazaki, did you do this? If they were not trying to hide it then I would not think anything of it, but it's like you did this. Is it because I am Tenya's older brother? Or is it because I am just another Japanese hero who you would like to see back out there stopping villains? Roady came out here to investigate your ties with this company, and he was right to. Your reach extends to America. To corporations that help heroes recover for free… It is no wonder Tenya is so conflicted on how to face you. This kind of power is absurd, and yet you use it to help people like me? I want to thank you, and yet somehow I know you'll deny you had a part in any of this. I saw the news though. I saw that arm. And I'd bet it's not this company that gave you the technology to make that arm, but the other way around, and you supplied this company with the knowledge to help the rest of us.

Ingenium's too smart! There's no way I can warn Sazaki though, Dr. Khatri thought, and she apologized to that boy only in her head as she added on something to what Ms. Oarn was saying to their recovering heroes. Hopefully these two feel enough gratitude for their surgeries that they can leave it alone. Our founder deserves his peace. The doctor did not mean the founder of the company she and Oarn were standing inside of one building of. It was only the second largest of Virtucorp's buildings after all. Their main headquarters, and the one Oarn spent most of her time at which was why Dr. Khatri had been surprised to see her boss there, was inside a city that Khatri was glad the heroes in front of her would never be able to find. The two women in the room came from different parts of the world, but there was only one place they considered themselves "from" anymore.

Khatri and Oarn both smiled at the men they were trying to help, because it was what he wanted. And yet Oarn thought too as she reminded them once again of the technology they now had in their legs, He let you walk again. Isn't that enough? She imagined in her head the last expression she saw of that boy who every video of got sent around the world in minutes. Just leave him alone!

I needed to do this. I kept telling myself I needed to, and it's March already!

Zach took in a deep breath as he stared at the entrance to the park ahead of him that was just outside of Musutafu. He looked away from the Enudora Forest though and around the outside of it where he saw someone approaching him. Once she's out of school I'll lose my chance. Momo expects me to do this. We both know how badly I messed up! I have to try! He yelled it at himself, but he could not help the nerves that rose within him as the girl heading his way stopped and glared towards him.

Jirou ground her teeth behind her lips, What am I doing here? She thought about the text that asked her to meet outside of U.A., one she had so wanted to ignore but then responded with by telling him only if they met at the Enudora Forest. She thought he might back down from it, but she saw him standing over there just as he said he would and her teeth clenched in frustration at the sight of him. I'm not going to give you a chance! So, so why do this? Why again?! Just stop this already.

Zach started towards the girl who stopped walking his way and did not seem like she would get any closer on her own. "Hey Jirou," Zach started as he kept walking towards her, and he attempted a smile to set the tone of the conversation. "I'm glad you-"

"What are you doing?" Jirou snapped, the smile on his face pissing her off too much to even wait for him to finish greeting her. She curled the left corner of her lips farther down at his reaction to her initial snap, like he was hoping she would not do it and hoped for something more conciliatory in tone there.

"I," Zach began. He stopped ahead of her, still with a wide gap between them he had hoped to close first. He started wishing he had gotten closer before saying the first words, but he was close enough that she could see his expression well enough from there. "I just want to talk to you."

"We've talked," Jirou retorted. "I've heard what you had to say. That was all, wasn't it? You ended that conversation yourself, by walking away."

"I didn't want it, to be our last conversation," Zach started back to her. "I just- I wanted-"

"What do you think's changed between then and now?" Jirou asked, her eyebrows raising and her expression getting harsher as she glared at the boy who had texted her out of nowhere to meet up. He really just wants to talk?! That's all this is?! "You really think things have changed between us because your apartment exploded?"

"That's not," Zach started. "I'm not here, for pity or anything-"

"Good, because you won't find it," Jirou snapped back. Her fists balled at her sides at his innocent, even sad-looking expression as he faced her. Her eyes narrowed at him and her voice darkened more at that look she had to stare at on his face, "I followed Black to your apartment that day." Zach's eyes widened a little, though he did not react much to what she just said. Jirou growled it at him as he stared at her like that, "I was the one trailing him."

Zach was surprised despite his mild reaction. His eyes shifted down though at the furious look on her face, I felt so smug about that. Pain jolted in his chest and he shook his head once while looking down at the floor. I had stopped speaking Japanese so smugly, and I used those tactics to avoid capture which must have- it must have been so frustrating for her! Shit!

"I know you're planning something with your Army here!" Jirou shouted at him, and Zach rose his head fast and shook it with a sad look over his face that made Jirou just grind her teeth harder. "You're working with those terrorists, still!" She yelled it at him, her voice nearing disbelief and yet without much in it as she knew she should have expected this from the start. The lack of disbelief was because she had seen it coming from the beginning, and she shook her head at his dark and denying look to what she was accusing.

"Even though you go out on tv and pretend to be this perfect hero," Jirou started. "Saying bullshit like we can all be heroes, and smiling like an idiot! Someone trying so hard to do what's right! You think we believe it?" Jirou glared at Zach and then yelled at him, "I know you haven't changed one bit! You're lying more than you've ever lied before, to the point that everyone's starting to realize how much of a liar you are. They can see that it's all an act!"

Can they?

"They're getting afraid because you're still here and they all know you're planning something!" Jirou snapped it and then glared at him so much harder as he opened his mouth to deny it.

"That's not what I'm, doing," Zach argued, his voice getting steadier while he shook his head at her.

"I can't believe that!" Jirou yelled back. Zach was saying it in a voice like he thought he might be able to convince her, and she stopped him before he could even go on like that in a way she would not accept coming out of his mouth. "You were lying to us in this very forest," Jirou swung her left arm out to the side and pointed at the woods next to them they both had horrible memories inside of. "When you acted like you were about to lay down and die, you were lying! As afraid as we all were for you then, it was all a lie! And you're still lying now-"

"And you're not?"

Jirou opened her mouth to yell, but she froze with it open like that. Zach's face as he responded like that shifted too. The dark expression vanished and his eyes widened, then regret flashed over his face and he looked away while Jirou stood there with her mouth still open. She hesitated, her eyes wide as she questioned herself, Does he know? Does he really know?! He couldn't…

I shouldn't have said that. I'm here to help her and I- what kind of idiot- Zach clenched his eyes shut for a moment and then shook his head and looked down at the floor between them shamefully. He said while looking down like that, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

Jirou's expression flinched, but she looked away with a hurt look on her face too and anger filling her back up again. "Yeah," she said in a low voice. "You shouldn't have…" She turned to the side and then her body turned more so it was almost all the way faced away from him. Her head was still pointed to the side a little though with her eyes locked on the forest next to her, and she said in an even quieter voice, "You shouldn't have come back at all."

She never turned back. Jirou walked away leaving Zach next to the Enudora Forest that he looked to after watching her retreat from him for several seconds. I really suck at this… That doesn't mean I can stop trying though. Nothing more I can do with Jirou today though. I should- I should move to the next! Just keep your head up. You can do this. Zach turned the opposite direction as Jirou had gone, and he closed his eyes while taking in a deep breath. I can do this!

"No, I just-" Zach stopped and he held his tongue to just listen to the voice that yelled at him through his phone.

"I'm… I'm busy today. I can't come out there, today, but I-" Zach got cut off again and closed his eyes at the yell.

Zach held the receiver to his mouth and kept the speaker to his ear even as the voice shouting through lowered and got even angrier at him. He nodded his head, and he muttered in reply to the one snapping at him. "That's not what I'm doing." He spoke in his steady voice, though his expression looked like he would rather be whispering in a much softer tone. "I'm not, lying…" Zach lifted his left hand and rubbed over his forehead after what he just said. "No, the book is, it's true- I mean it- no… I know but…"

Zach looked at his phone, moving it in front of his face and seeing the call had ended. He sighed and then put his phone down into his pocket and lifted his head. Better than having that reaction face to face and making a scene. He nodded at the man in front of him, and the double doors were opened up so he could walk inside. Zach stepped forward into the hall and straight forward to stand in front of the two hero officials and principal Memuria who were all speaking about something with papers risen and upset looks on their faces.

"What were you thinking?"

"Do not think you can just do whatever you want without consequence."

"I was just-"

"Using your Quirk to bring some people back to life is one thing, something we can ignore even, but crossing international borders without clearance, using your Quirk in a nation that has not authorized it?!"

"It was an emergency," Zach countered to the older people scolding him. "That kid died. It's been my excuse every other time, and as you just said you accepted it all those times-"

"What constituted that as an emergency and not Cherry Cayman?"

"It did," Zach retorted. "Which is why I used my Quirk on her too."

"Only after being forced to."

"She only died that night."

"And a lot of other people died that night too."

"What about the case of Renji Shikudo and Kiki Errini? Two children in Tokyo who died last week and were put all over the news to get your attention?"

"Funori Pizzoni, Edi Muro, Akery Sazahawa? These people have died earlier today and you did not act?"

"What made it so you did not arrive at the scene any of these times, but you could arrive in Romania to-"

"I did not hear about any of those incidents until it was too late," Zach countered.

"What are you talking about?"

"It was all over the news. Each of them received so much media attention there was no way you could not have seen them-"

"I did not see the news. I am a busy person," Zach said it in a steady voice and just stared down the official who stared at him in shock at his reply there. The disbelief on her face just annoyed Zach more though, and he glared back at her in a way that made her lean her head back then push it forward with a much harsher glare on her face at the boy.

"What were you doing that you were too busy to save lives?"

"I was busy with my schoolwork," Zach replied. Memuria stared at the boy with a dark look herself, but Zach said to all three of them without hesitation, "Passing a hero course is not easy work."

"For you-"

"For anyone," Zach said firmly. "It does not matter who they are. It is hard work. Work that I must complete in order to receive my pro hero license. Before I can save more people like you want me to, I need to graduate. And if I fail because I spent all the time I need to be focused on school, bringing people back to life, it will prolong my time in school and prevent me from bringing people back during school hours as I am prevented from doing at this moment." Zach glared at the man who started asking him that and who stared at him with much wider eyes at how thought-out that response was showing Sazaki really did have an excuse for it all.

The officials started arguing again though, and Zach responded to each of them without hesitating. He prepared himself before entering the room, and he stood there ready to take everything they had and argue his way out of it. No matter what you throw at me, I can do this… again.

"No, not on the phone."

Jirou glanced over her shoulder while sitting on a chair in the common room of their dorm. She was at one of the tables between the kitchen and the couch area, and the tv was off with no one else downstairs besides for her and Kirishima who she had heard pick up the phone while making himself a protein shake in the kitchen. Jirou continued to study down there, not wanting to sit in her room any longer as her eyes kept dragging over to a single drawer when she tried to do her homework at her own desk. He's getting annoyed, Jirou thought, and she tried to smile at it but found herself just continuing to stare down at her papers with a flat expression as the redhead's voice rose.

"Why not? …You're 'busy?' What's that supposed to mean?! You're the one who called me in the first place." Kirishima growled it into his phone quieter, glancing to the side and seeing there was someone else in the common room probably listening to him. He turned away and continued while glaring at the fridge, "Are you just calling to show you're still 'trying?'"

Jirou plugged her earphone jack into the underside of the table when Kirishima lowered his voice for that growl. "…That's not what I'm doing." She heard Zach's voice over the phone too as Kirishima continued, though the redhead's voice got louder again to the point she figured she would have been able to hear his side of the conversation without using her Quirk.

"Don't lie. If you really wanted to talk you'd make the time. You're just trying to use this for some more time to tell me some bullshit. You're 'busy' making plans and working over the media and everyone around you. Is that it? Oh yeah? It's not? And that book that just came out?" Kirishima asked it in annoyance with his voice raising louder. "You're going to tell me that's all true? Those are the stories you've been telling everyone! Ojiro says- It's not! It's not true! Don't even try- damn it. Stop! Stop trying to convince me. I know it's all just a big lie. Just stop. You know I don't want to hear it." Kirishima pulled his phone from his head and pressed the end call button hard, glaring at his black screen afterwards and then shoving his phone into his pocket.

He took a swig of his pre-workout and then marched around the counter of the kitchen and towards the door. He glanced towards Jirou for a second, shaking his head as she locked eyes with him. "You see that book?"

"Didn't care to," Jirou replied.

"Yeah, don't bother," Kirishima agreed while looking away and continuing to the door. "Read the whole thing, front to back. Waste of my time." Kirishima growled it under his breath, and he cursed in his head, I wanted you to tell me it wasn't. Just one fucking truth! You can't manage it. Battle of the 6 Armies. Siege of Razmatan. Leprechauns and fairies and lies lies lies. Can't understand why you want to 'talk' if all you're going to say is complete bullshit! I don't get it.

Jirou watched Kirishima go, and she saw the frustrated and angry look flashing at the very end in so much confusion and sadness instead. Why are you looking like that? You have it totally right! Jirou looked back down to her pages. Her stomach turned over and she ground her teeth, unable to focus on anything but that last "conversation" she had with Zach. "And you're not?" Her breath sucked in and a furious look spread over her face, but she could see herself opening up that drawer upstairs just to check once more, for the thousandth time checking if those two envelopes were still in there.

I should just- I should open them! Or just burn them now. If I get rid of them… I'll never have the chance, to come clean. A nervous look covered Jirou's face and she brought her hands up to the sides of her head and ran them up through her dark hair. What will happen? I- I hate him, because he's a liar- but I'm a liar too now because of them. A liar… Jirou thought it but it did not make her as angry or guilty as she thought it would. I always think of it like that, but it's not the fact that Zach lied that- isn't it?!

Jirou yelled it at herself and then scratched the sides of her head in so much frustration. Her eyes lit up for a second, and she reached down for her pants and pulled out her phone. I'll never be able to focus otherwise, she thought, sending out a message and begging internally as she waited for a response. The response came quickly though, and Jirou read it in relief: 'I'm free right now.'

In Softy's office at U.A. High School, Jirou Kyoka sat leaning back in front of her therapist who had out her notepad and nodded with the eighteen year old girl sitting before her who needed to vent. Softy was glad she had been free at the time she received the message, as the girl in front of her seemed angry and sad and confused all at the same time which made for a pretty terrible combination. "...And you think it got worse since the explosion, that they're calling the Lifebringer Bombing?"

"Yes."

"When you first saw what had happened, how did it make you feel?"

"Seeing that," Jirou stopped and grit her teeth for a second before nodding to admit it to herself. "I felt bad for him," she continued. "When I saw him on the news afterwards, and that made me feel so sick to my stomach. I felt ill that I was feeling bad for him again, and it's because I know how all of this, everything! It's all just to lead up to whatever he's planning."

"Could it have not been a coincidence?" Softy offered. Jirou looked upset at the suggestion, but Softy continued, "You do not think he is sending these attackers after himself?"

"No- I mean, probably not… No, he's not."

"Then do you think he planned on the bombing-"

"No! But- but he uses it! He saw that camera and-" Jirou ground her teeth thinking about the way he looked that he never let the cameras see. Yet he was still using it! Every single moment we see him is all just a part of it! She started shaking her head at the way Softy was looking at her, like the psychiatrist was hoping she would continue on her own and admit that maybe she was thinking too deeply into it. Jirou's expression got more frustrated as Soft nodded, an accepting nod like it was fine for Jirou not to continue, but Jirou bet that Softy was disappointed she could not further their work there. I'm not being stubborn! You don't get- because I haven't told…

Jirou shook her head again, though her expression got softer and she glanced down at the floor before raising her gaze in a serious way to her shrink. "Zach doesn't change. I, I know he's going to disappoint us again. Everyone, he'll disappoint everyone," Jirou corrected herself, though her voice got quieter for a second as she tried to switch 'us' to 'everyone.' She lowered her eyes to the floor and her voice got even quieter, as she admitted, "I was… terrified, of Zach."

Softy rose her eyebrows and sat more on the edge of her seat at what the girl just said. Jirou kept looking down and said while thinking back, "When I met him he seemed shy or something, but at USJ I watched as that villain died from nothing more than, than a touch." Jirou rose her eyes up and stared at Softy with her expression getting shaken as she remembered the fear she had felt back then, as a first year who had never seen anything like that before and was in no way ready for it. Then her face twisted up though in sadness but she turned it angrier right away and defended against her own thoughts, "And he was sitting in front of me in class! A killer who with a single touch- and I saw him cracking, losing it! Even back then. On the first week of school I saw how he could lose it…"

Jirou's face started to scrunch up again as Softy kept staring at her in a way as if wondering why she sounded so much like she was defending herself here. "But he came back from that," she said. "And at the Sports Festival he held his hand behind his back when he walked onto the arena, to make me feel more comfortable… and everyone called him a murderer. Because Kaminari spread it outside of our class," she said it angrily but also in regret, thinking about the look on his face before he gave up in that first Sports Festival. She looked into her therapist's eyes and told Softy stuff she hadn't before, "I went to his place to talk to him, a lot of people did, and he came back. I didn't know if he would, but I told myself when I had gone there that if… but he came back, and we became friends but he- he did what he did at the training forest and I wasn't that surprised!"

She exclaimed it and panted a few times, then she shook her head and said quietly, "It hurt later on, when Todoroki told me how Zach had attacked Midoriya, but I wasn't surprised. And I watched his trial but did not go to it, because I really didn't have that much faith in him. And he left, proving me right," she said it and then shook her head with a look of frustration filling her whole expression. "But he came back again. He proved me wrong, and I tried. I tried so hard, to make it right this time." Jirou said it and leaned forward herself to show Softy with her eyes how much she meant she had tried back then. "I pushed with Kaminari to get him to open up, and we became friends again. This time was different though," her voice cracked and her eyes started to water, though anger covered more of her face than ever despite how her eyes showed the sadness Softy felt her own heart hurting at the sight of.

"I hate this," Jirou gasped at the woman in front of her, her voice angry and sad at the same time but so much more angry at that conflicted feeling itself that the anger was easily winning. "I'm so mad at him, but I'm so mad at myself for feeling bad for him, but I- I heard that night- I shouldn't tell you…" Jirou said it but she could not hold herself back. It was something she told herself she would not tell anyone else, and she had made a promise not to spread it either, but she couldn't hold it back as everything welled up at once. "I heard, that night," she started in pain. "When Zach was up on the roof, on the edge of the roof, and Momo confronted him."

"I know why he was up there," Jirou whispered, her eyes lowering down so depressed to the floor between her and Softy. "I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I heard Zach say how he had watched Jenny burn. How Shigaraki had carved into his face to keep him watching as they burned her and her family- ah," Jirou tried to keep saying it but she gasped instead, then she breathed out in a whisper at Softy in front of her, "I heard a tone in his voice I had never heard anyone ever use before, as he yelled how she thought he would save him but he failed her, and he- he let her die." Jirou rose her right arm to her eyes and bared her teeth so hard while rubbing her eyes. "But I also remember what he was saying before he broke down like that. Before he told her why it was he was feeling like… I was so scared of him, again."

Jirou rose her eyes back up and glared so darkly into Softy's eyes. Her therapist held back a gulp as Jirou's tear-streaked face looked as angry as ever in that moment, "As scared as I should have been for him when I realized what he was doing up there, I- what he was saying I actually… I'm a bitch for thinking it. For feeling this way-"

"You're not a-"

"I agreed with him," Jirou said. She countered Softy and looked disgusted with herself at the same time, while shaking her head at the therapist to not even try to deny it there after hearing the reason.

"I agreed," Jirou whispered, softer and in regret and with so much guilt in her voice. "After he had said what he did. The way he felt- the person he believed himself to be and that he admitted to her right there. I know if it was me who went up there I don't think I could have saved him, because I was again, terrified when I heard what he was saying. It was only after hearing all that horrible shit afterwards that I pushed the fear back and reminded myself to be his friend, to help him." Jirou held her breath then breathed out hard and whispered, "But I heard him say it. How when he joined the League he was ready to kill them all… Ready to kill other villains for them even, as a true villain in their League that he became…"

Jirou rose a hand to her forehead and rubbed it, thinking back on words that she remembered as clearly as the horrible things that had made her cry so hard for Zach back then. "He told her, how he had considered himself the master of life and death. How he had even thought to himself, 'I could decide who lives and who dies.'" Jirou hated herself, but she whispered, "And I agreed when he said how no one deserved that much power. And I knew he wasn't lying, when he said that the stronger he got, the more like Death he actually became." Jirou rose her eyes up to her therapist's shocked ones, and Jirou whispered in a regretful way, "I don't know what he was thinking when he went up there, but after admitting that, after admitting to himself the possibility that he would become Death one day, I think without Momo he would have… He thought he was turning into a demon," Jirou hissed, her voice shaking as she said it, trying to justify herself even more despite how much regret she had for even speaking this aloud.

"And I failed her! I let her die!" Jirou slammed her eyes shut but tears spilled out the cracks and down her face, and she rose a hand to her face and pressed all her fingers hard around it in confusion. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel," Jirou whispered.

"Well, how do you feel?" Softy asked quietly back. "After hearing all of it, the bad and- and the other kind of bad?" Softy said, as there was no way to specify either of the things she remembered as a 'good' kind.

"Seeing him come back from that," Jirou started. She sucked in a deep breath and she lowered her hand, raising her eyes up and saying in amazement, "I was already stunned at his return, but, that was so incredible. Seeing him be good, be better, and saving people! I was beyond amazed by him then but- but then seeing him come back after Kaminari-" Jirou cut herself off with her face twisting and her head tilting back. Bringing that up brought up everything around it, but she pushed through and said in a louder voice keeping herself from choking up like would happen in a soft tone, "I looked up to Zach more than anyone!"

"I was destroyed, in the darkest place in my life, but I looked at him and saw him going strong," she shook her head and her voice cracked when she spoke lower. "Saw him trying so hard to keep going… And I went to him." Softy nodded as Jirou brought it up, and Jirou continued while looking up at the woman she said to in a softer voice than when she normally yelled about this, "And I told him how I couldn't trust anyone- How I was so broken and, and he held me, and I knew there was one person in the world who- who understood me! Who felt what I was feeling! Who, who I could trust again when I trusted nobody…" Jirou clenched her eyes shut. "I hate him," Jirou whispered, and Softy could see all that hatred so clearly on Jirou's face as she said it again. "I hate him. Because! He knew that I would- that I would be like this! Because that's what Raijin did to him! When he had no one. When he didn't trust anyone and was at the lowest moment of his life, Raijin went to him and acted like the person he needed to get him well- and Zach knew that I knew that! He knew that I would know it. He knew all along, even while he held me there, exactly how I would feel… And he did it anyway!"

Jirou yelled it so hatefully and was panting as she glared forward into Softy's eyes trying to give her a soft and understanding look back. "He was supposed to be my friend, and he did the worst thing anyone had ever done to him, TO ME! He knew I couldn't take it and- and he thought he could just say a few words and it would be-" Jirou pulled her chin down to her chest, her teeth baring so hard and her heart tightened while her whole being filled with such a sick feeling again. The two of them were the same. They were both just, just liars who manipulated me and- and messed with my heart for their own goals with no care how much they tore up in the process! "I hate him," Jirou whispered again, though her eyes lowered down so sadly as the words came out of her mouth this time. "I'm sad though, as much as I'm still mad- furious at him. It's just…"

Jirou rose her head and had a more serious and focused look on her face again. She got out what she needed to say, the things she needed to remind herself and really understand saying them aloud. But then she continued in a steadier voice, "I've always known he was going to leave again." She said it and let out a breath as she admitted what she knew but wouldn't tell her friends. "Since he came back and turned himself in," she continued. Jirou frowned more as Softy gave her a look and was opening her mouth, "I know… it's what he'll do… but he's sticking it out for so long, and I don't know why. I don't know what his plan is that he'd stay even after they attacked him at home, nearly killed him again, killed his landlord." Jirou finished the list without saying 'and' as there were a ton of things she could list but only came up with three.

"He hasn't given up on it though," she continued. "I know he hasn't, because I remember the Enudora Forest." Her eyes narrowed more as this was even more clear in her mind after meeting him outside it, "I remember yelling at him to fight, and I was hoping he'd kill Raijin, and I really wasn't as panicked as the rest of our friends." Jirou's expression was steady and dark but she continued in a flat voice, "I was not as afraid, because I knew Zach wouldn't just stand there and let Kaminari kill him. It was terrifying not being able to do anything to help him, but I knew Zach would lift up his arms and fight!" Jirou rose her voice a little, then she said with a small shake of her head as she returned to her former tone, "I didn't think he would just stand there and die, but then, then that truck came barreling out of the woods, and Zach roared how he wasn't in their trap but they had fallen into his?! And then he, then he massacred them."

"And he screamed all these things! This person who I trusted, who I believed in! The person I thought I knew as this kind hero- my hero…" Jirou froze and her wide eyes closed and then opened again with her gaze shifted straight down. "But he injected with Trigger. He used a man he had been blackmailing- not even blackmail. He had convinced that villain that he was the devil in order to force the man to do his bidding. The girl he had dragged into helping him after bringing her back to life, and teaming up with villains. The things Zach said that night," Jirou shook her head and rose her gaze back to meet Softy's. "I understood that he wasn't just lying to me about one thing. This one person I knew I could trust, he had been lying about everything! It was all a lie!" Anger filled Jirou's voice again and she bursted out with, "I trusted him, when I was in my darkest place I trusted him, and I thought he would be there to help me get through it- and then he left me! He left me in an even darker place than I thought he was pulling me out of. So I don't care that he's hurting…"

"I don't." Jirou repeated it softer in a whisper, and she leaned back in her seat again. And he is. He is- but he's here for a reason. He's hurting, but you put me through two years of- all this pain I've gone through and I- I really just hate you so much. I have to.

A/N Thanks for reading. Leave a review below telling me what you think/predictions. Review responses:

GrayReader chapter 190 . Oct 15

You do such an amazing job when it comes to exploring the two different philosophies of midoriya and Zach, it's always a pleasure to read. Just when Midoriya starts to say something I disagree with, before I can even go on a rant in my head about how wrong it is, Zach is instantly there to disagree with him. I really can't see a future where Zach doesn't kill Kaminari and some of the League of Villians, or at least have the AOD kill them, but I also didn't think Zach would actually try to be a hero again and leave the AOD, so I could be wrong.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, I'm sure she's proud of you, especially of your skills as a writer! I don't know if you ever linked her this story, but I'm sure if she'd ever seen it, she would be astonished!

Thanks for the condolences. Also thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed the chapter and the interactions between Zach and Midoriya. Just as we know the whole story to be able to counter what Midoriya's saying, Zach's been there too and has got his own defenses too. We'll see what the future holds for Zach and if he can hold back on killing, stay as a hero, etc. Coming soon... Look forward to it!

Aar0nC0le chapter 190 . Oct 15

I LOVE when you dive deeper into midoriya and zack's views. The divide there is complex and skfjdbsn I never know who I side with more? Like just from watching BnHa, I've always been very fond of midoriya. Deku is the hero I want to be, ya know? (In a metaphorical sense I mean obv I'm not gonna swallow some hair anytime soon) but the more I read this the more I realize the hero worship I have for a fictional character versus the grey areas that are the anime's world. And then suddenly I'm thinking about OUR world and all the grey areas and (idk if you're from America or not but I am) and somehow I always find myself thinking about my current government and morals ? Idk might just be me but this story always has me thinking deeper about it as well as life itself? (Hah life and death oh the irony) so thanks for that? I think? But plot wise I'm still v concerned bc we haven't heard from the LOV or Kaminari recently and it feels like a storm is coming... -thanks! :) -Aaron

I LOVE that you love it! XD The divide gets me thinking each time I'm writing it too, def got that complexity that makes it hard to really say either of them are just flat-out wrong. I did try to make the My Hero world full of as much gray as ours (and come on fellow American, it's Gray here in America, not British grey), but yeah def a lot of gray in our world today. If only we had Zach to intervene in Syria/Turkey all that jazz, but unfortunately we don't ;(. Anyways, LOV and Kaminari and Eziano are all lurking about and scheming... we'll see what comes of that! I hope you enjoyed the chapter though, thanks for the review, and thanks again everyone for reading, faving, following, and reviewing this story!