Because after Hinata and Naruto saved Itachi with their magical healing powers of SMEX, he abviously had to get a job somewhere in Konoha. Features Girl!Itachi and Jiraiya the pimp.


Title: No Need For Sasuke
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: complete and utter crack humour
Pairings: Girl!Itachi/Naruko/Jiraiya + Hinata/Sakura
Rating: PG 13
Summary: ITACHI HAS BEEN REDEEMED AND RETURNED TO KONOHA. HOW WILL HE PAY FOR HIS SUPPERS NOW?

--

Itachi's face was carefully blank as he fondled the curves of his new breasts. They were a bit strange (and his back hurt...how did kunoichi deal with the issue of balance anyway?) but he supposed they were nice and symmetrical.

They were smaller than Naruto's, though.

Itachi consoled himself with the fact that his nipples were more pink.

"Ero-sennin!" Naruto whined, pushing a long blonde pig-tail over his shoulder. "Why do we gotta do this?"

Jiraiya grinned and casually groped Itachi's ass. Itachi considered killing him for that, but he was distracted by the two kunoichi in the corner who were currently putting themselves into impossible looking positions.

Itachi hadn't known that pink-haired slut of his brother's was so flexible.

"Now Naruto," Jiraiya scolded, "you remember what the hokage said. Itachi needs to pay off his debt to Konoha somehow, and we're not about to let him take on missions for us. And he really doesn't have any additonal civilian skills..."

"I can cook," Itachi said, but was stared down by the two other men. He supposed they weren't very enthused about his ability after he'd tried to poison Shizune's tea.

Jiraiya shook his head and placed a sparkly hair-clip in Itachi's loose black tresses.

"Like I was saying, this is a job that doesn't take much skill, and he can make a lot of money for Konoha in a short period of time."

"But Ero-sennin," Naruto pouted, "why do I have to do it too?"

Jiraiya grinned at him. "Because you're the one with the magical asshole that keeps Itachi in line. And because your tab at the Ichiraku has now reached to 800,217,489 yen. I'm not paying that off by myself. Now..."

Jiraiya leaned back in his chair and observed Itachi and Naruto in their g-strings. Naruto looked sulky, but the pout was sexier than his...uh, her smile anyway. And Itachi...well...

Jiraiya supposed that with an ass like that, nobody would be looking at Itachi's face.

"Okay bitches," Jiraiya said, satisfied with what he saw. "Go out there and get me some cash."

--

fin.

kukuku...