Hell on an angel!
(Chapter Seven)
Castiel grabbed me and all of a sudden my vision was clouded by nothing, but white glaring light. It only lasted for a second, but it took my eyes several minutes to readjust themselves.
"What in the name of Hades was that all about?!" I demanded to know.
"Who are you?" was the counter demand from "Cas".
"Me? I'm Rebecca Annette Lindsey. I'm a Black Falls History Museum intern and archaeology major. Beyond that, I'm your average twenty-two-year-old woman. You, on the other hand, are an angel who has been cut off from heaven, has limited power, and doesn't have the first clue about being human. You're also using Dean's Christmas present from Sam and what's left of your own power to find GOD." I chose to say.
"There has to be more to you than what you claim, for you to know all that." Cas stated.
"Unfortunately for you, that's all there is beyond the normal complexities of the individual human personality." I said sugary.
"Then how do you know everything you've stated?" Cas questioned.
"In my reality. Dean, Sam, Bobby, and you are just characters portrayed by actors on a show I like." I told him.
"Everything that has happened to the Winchesters and me happened just the same way in your show?" Cas questioned again.
"With a few very recent exceptions, yes, as far as I know, it has." I answered.
"Will Dean become a vessel for Micheal?" Cas asked.
"Why does it matter? Isn't that what you angels want? The human race eradicated from the earth and a paradise in its place." I taunted Cas.
"You don't know what you're talking about. I risked everything; defied orders, was cast out by my brothers and sisters, as well as denied heaven for Dean and his family." Cas growled at me.
"What you're feeling is a secondary emotion called anger. It masks the emotion you just felt before it when I taunted you." I patronizingly explained to Cas.
"It feels degrading. Angels are supposed to be above emotions, superior to humans." Cas said sounding defeated.
"Look the fact is you're not superior, not you or me or any other being in creation. However much we each may wish to delude ourselves. If He does exist, and the jury's still out for me on that, God, according to the bible, gave us all free will. This means we all, demons or humans or angels, make our own choices and are responsible for them. There are no favorites Cas, we are equals." I gently tried to explain trying to get him to understand.
"Why are you telling me this?" Cas asked giving me his confused "constipated bulldog" look again.
"To help. If you keep going the way you are bad things will happen that might be able to be avoided and trust me I want them avoided." I told him.
"Bad things? Like what?" Cas demanded.
"It's not good to know your own future, Cas." I told him gently.
"I think I'm feeling angry again." Cas huffed.
"Nope, what you're feeling now is called frustration. It's actually quite typical given the circumstances of the moment." I smirked.
"You are enjoying this." Cas accused.
"Quite frankly, yes. Yes, I am." I said smartly.
"Do you care for Dean?" Cas wanted to know.
"Outta who's left-field did you pull that one outta?!" I exclaimed.
"What emotion do you call that?" Cas wise-assed.
I laughed like a hyena. It felt really good.
To be honest I really have no clue why I was giving Cas hell.
When I used to watch Supernatural (as opposed to living it) I always enjoyed seeing the angel pop up or laughed like a lunatic when he would startle Dean.
Cas watched me; he had a new expression on his face it made him look more relaxed and open.
"So what are the new feelings now?" I asked calming down.
"I am enjoying watching you laugh, yet I'm still confused. What do you call it?" Cas replied.
"Generally, we call it amusement." I smiled at the angel.
"Are you going to help in this war?" Cas asked turning serious again.
"As much as I possibly can." I returned truthfully.
"Maybe, that is why you were sent here." Cas mused.
"Maybe," I replied.
Cas was silent and thoughtful for a little while.
I wished I had some magic words that would make it all better, but I didn't.
I also wished I knew just exactly, how I was going to pull off keeping my men safe.
"I care about what happens to Dean." Cas suddenly said.
"It's not a weakness, Cas. Honestly, it's the best part of who and what we are. It's what keeps all of us from throwing up our hands and giving up. It's what redeems us every time we stumble and fall. Humans are imperfect creatures, we need love and care to keep us going." I told him softly.
"We aren't perfect creatures either, are we?" Cas asked softly.
"No, I don't think so. If the bible is correct, only God is." I replied gently.
"What if He doesn't care." Cas said finally giving voice to his doubts.
"If He doesn't, why intervene when He does? I think it's more like I said earlier "no favorites". Sometimes when a person becomes a parent and they have more than one child. They have to let those children work things out among themselves and not take sides. It doesn't change how much they love them." I said trying to help the worried angel understand.
"You sound like someone with more faith than she is aware of. Someone wiser than her professed twenty-two years." Cas observed quietly.
"Well like I said the jury is still out for me and faith. As to being wiser than my age, it's all just what I learned playing on the kitchen rug, as a little girl, listening to Mam-maw." I smiled.
"Mam-maw?" Cas asked.
"It's what I call my grandmother." I explained.
"You were raised by your grandmother?" Cas asked quizzically.
"By her, my mother, and Pop." I replied.
"Pop? You were raised by a fizzy beverage?" Cas asked confused.
"No, I chuckled, that's just what I call my grandfather."
"Where is your father?" he wanted to know.
"No clue never met the man. Grew up without one. The closest thing I ever had was Pop." I explained.
"Dean grew up without a mother. You grew up without a father. Dean is often angry at the world. You find faith in love and kindness." Cas mused.
"I try. You also have to remember that along with being members of the opposite sex, Dean and I are two completely different people." I told him.
"Dean will be worried about you and most likely become belligerent the next time we are in contact." Cas said without malice.
"Maybe, though the man has only known me about twenty-four hours or so. He may not be that worried. I'm still pretty much a stranger to him." I returned.
"No, Dean cares for you. I watched you two as you bickered. I saw a look in his eyes that is rare to see with him." Cas reproved me.
"If you say so Cas." I said not wanting to spar with the angel anymore.
"I will take you to where he can find you the easiest. You will be safe there." Cas dictated.
"And where is that?" I questioned nervously.
Castiel reached out and, this time captured my hand. I felt a strange pulse and very clearly heard fluttering.
{White Flash Ensues Again}
This time instead of being blinded by the glaring white light I felt warmth and like I was part of it. It was really quite odd.
Before I really had time to examine these new sensations Cas and I were standing on Bobby's front porch.
"So what? You want me to wait on Bobby's font porch until they show up?" I asked incredulously.
Cas turned his head slightly and looked at me sideways. It was a move I would have expected from Dean or Sam even, but not Cas. He gave me a barely-there smile and raised his eyebrows at me. He walked over to the front door, put his hand on it, and gently pushed it open.
"Neat trick." I said slightly impressed.
"You should have everything you require until Dean, Sam, and the old hunter arrive." Cas said.
"Yeah looks that way." I softly replied stepping into Bobby Singer's home.
I walked through the door and into the front hall. It was hard to keep from spinning around to look at everything. I took in as much as I possibly could. I came into the living room I couldn't help, but look at the trademark cluttered desk. Along with the piles upon piles of books.
"I will return. Dean, Sam, and the old hunter should be here in about two and a half days." Cas informed me.
"Alright, when are you leaving? Do you have time to..." I asked turning around to find Cas was already gone.
"Figures." I mumbled.
My stomach rumbled announcing itself. I was in bad need of a meal. I sighed and took myself off to Bobby's kitchen to make myself something to eat. I figured that once my men got back I could con either Dean or Sam into taking me to the grocery store or into giving me the keys to the Impala so I could replace what I'd used.
After I had eaten I took myself back to the living room. I sifted through the books.
I found a really interesting one on spells. With the book in hand, I walked over to the window seat, got comfortable, and dove into the book. The book turned out to be a grimoire, a spellbook, it not only had spells in it but some of the histories of magic. It also contained the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the previous owner. I found all of it extremely interesting. I thought that I would give some of the simpler-looking spells a try, for self-defense purposes, at least that's what I told myself.
I tried one, what I thought was, of the easier-looking spells in the grimoire. I did manage to do something.
Unfortunately for me, all I had managed to do was nearly burn a hole in Bobby's living room floor. I left a decent size scorch mark, apparently, I mispronounced something.
Shoot!
I went to sleep right there in the window seat reading and rereading, the spell I had tried. Exhausted from trying to figure out what I had done wrong.
On my first day at Bobby's by myself, I woke up and realized that I desperately needed a shower. I finally took off Dean's jacket (I'd fallen asleep with it on), as well as my other clothes, turned on the shower, got in, and got clean.
I hopped out of the shower and wrapped a large, rather fluffy, towel around myself. I left the bathroom and went in search of something clean and dry to wear. I was willing to even settle for a housecoat. I only had one set of clothes with me. I needed to wash them.
I found a bathrobe, it was clean and dry so I borrowed it.
Bathrobe on I collected my clothes and Dean's jacket from the bathroom. I walked back into the living room briefly and put Dean's jacket in the window seat where I'd been reading and sleeping. Then I headed for the basement where, once down the steps, I put my dirty clothes into the wash.
While down in the basement I gave in to the urge to look at Bobby's "panic room". To be frank it was better than in the show, as I could see it and walk around in it. After leaving the "panic room" and closing its door I headed for the basement stairs, climbed them upon reaching them, and headed into the kitchen for breakfast.
The rest of my first day at Bobby's consisted of hanging out in a bathrobe, drying my laundry, having lunch, potty breaks, going nutty wanting a cigarette and studying the grimoire.
Mostly it was quiet and lonely. I have no idea how anyone could live this way. I certainly can't understand how someone as warm, kind, and wonderful as Bobby Singer, could.
I tried not to think about Kyle and our friends, but in the main, I succeeded.
I tried not to think about Dean, Sam, Bobby, and Cas; in that, I failed abysmally.
I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I had known Kyle for years, held him as part of my family even, but my thoughts kept returning to the men on their way here in the Impala. I had really only known them barely a day and I had claimed all three of them. Feeling even more guilty I also realized that I was missing them quite badly.
About nine o'clock that evening I, again, realized I was hungry. I put down the grimoire, marked my place with a hair clip I'd been wearing, got up, stretched, and headed for the kitchen. In the kitchen, I rummaged a bit. I settled for making myself a ham and cheese with some questionable chips.
I sat at the table eating and thinking.
I looked up to see Cas staring at me.
Oh, Joy! Company!
Hey, as I said, I'd been getting lonely.
"Hello." I greeted after swallowing a mouthful of ham and cheese.
"Are you alright?" Cas asked me.
"Yes, I replied, just lonely and wishing for company."
"You want company?" Cas inquired, again with the "constipated bulldog" face.
I couldn't help but giggle at the angel's expression.
"Yea, I miss the guys and I may be just a little homesick," I answered.
"Homesick? You're worried that your home is ill?" Cas questioned raising an eyebrow.
"No, it means that..." I started to explain and then "You're teasing me aren't you, Cas?"
"Is it bringing you any comfort?" the angel wanted to know.
"You're secretly funny, who knew, and yes, it's making me feel better," I responded.
Cas stayed for a little while. We didn't say much, but it wasn't really necessary.
He noticed the spell book I had been studying and the scorch mark on Bobby's floor. He raised an eyebrow but apparently decided not to comment.
"Will everything work itself out in the end?" Cas asked thoughtfully.
"If my being here is meant to change anything and I'll do my best to make that happen, Cas." I said carefully.
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Cas asked.
"Not unless there is no other way around it, no." I replied honestly.
"Dean doesn't know that yet, does he?" Cas inquired.
"No, not yet. When he finds out he won't be very happy about it." I returned.
"No, he will not be. Dean likes to be in control of what's going on around him. He becomes difficult when he can't be." Cas sighed.
"Yeah, I got that trust me. He also becomes "difficult", as you put it if he can't be in control period though, Cas." I returned with a sigh of my own.
Cas nodded at my statement, looked at me for a long moment, and said, "I will try to return again before the others arrive so you will not be lonely."
"Thank you, I really would appreciate that," I replied gratefully.
"Your welcome." returned my new angel friend.
A moment later Cas did his disappearing act and I was on my own again.
The next day was much like the first. I wanted a cigarette, I used the bathroom, I ate, I studied, and I even explored the house a little bit. After some practice, I managed to accomplish two spells without damaging anything or hurting myself.
On the third afternoon, Cas reappeared, as promised for a little conversation. Unfortunately, angels are not really adept at making small talk, at least Cas isn't.
"Hey Cas, did you find God today?" I asked without turning around.
"No. You can hear me? For some reason, I usually end up startling Dean." Cas responded.
"Well, that's probably because Dean doesn't think to listen for the signs that you're about to show up. He may not even know what they are. I do, so I know what to listen for. So yeah I can hear you when you just show up." I said with a slight laugh.
"Sam, Dean, and the old hunter will be here this evening. Perhaps in a few hrs if Dean is driving." Cas informed me.
"Good, I've missed them." I replied, "Do you think I will get home again, Cas?"
"I do not know Rebecca, but if you are here for a reason then you may not," Cas said trying for gentleness.
I sighed.
What if Cas was right and I never got home. I'd never see Mam-maw or Pop or Mother again. Never joke with Kyle or live the life I had so carefully planned for myself.
"I am sorry I made you sad." Cas said regretfully.
"It's not you Cas, it's this whole weird situation, I don't know what to do. But I know what I'm not gonna do. I'm not just gonna sit on the sidelines and watch like it's still just a TV show." I declared.
"I will do my best to try and find out who sent you here." the angel promised.
"Thanks." I replied.
Cas left shortly after making his promise. The rest of the afternoon I studied the grimoire, tried not to think about my home with the people I loved, and wondered how far away my men were.
Cas popped in as I was contemplating a shower.
"Hi, there Cas." I said cheerful
ly.
"Hello Rebecca, I have brought this for you." Cas greeted, holding out a lovely sundress.
"Thank you, Cas, but where did this come from?" I asked a tad concerned he had picked up on some of Dean's "easy access" traits (stealing)
"I requested that it be made especially for you by three very special women who know things as you do. It was not stolen. It is a gift." Cas stated.
"Wow, thank you, Castiel. You really didn't have to do this for me." I said a bit overwhelmed.
"I have noticed that people seldom wear the same clothing and continually wash what they have the way you have been doing. So I presumed this meant that you needed more clothes." Cas returned.
"Turns out you are right on both counts. Thank you for the dress, it's beautiful." I once again thanked Cas.
"You are welcome, there are two more for you over on your window seat." Cas informed me.
I looked over to the window seat to see two more beautiful dresses waiting for me. I turned back to Cas to express my thanks, but as per usual he was gone again.
I took the dress that was still in my arms into the bathroom with me where I showered, washed my hair, jumped out, dried off, and put the new dress on.
I brushed my hair out and arranged it to make it look nice. I wished I could put on some light makeup to go with my new dress, but my makeup was still in my purse. My purse was in the Impala on its way to me.
It was four o'clock when I finally hauled my butt into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I pulled out a package of steaks that had been defrost
ing in the fridge and finished defrosting them in the sink.
I sat down and studied the grimoire some more. I studied the grimoire for the next forty-five minutes. I tried one or two, maybe even three more spells in it with relative success.
Well, I managed not to burn the floor again or hurt myself, I'd count that as a success.
At five-fifteen I finally heard the sound I'd been waiting all day to hear, the Impala pulling up to the house. I looked out the window of the window seat I'd been using for a bed, just to make sure my ears weren't playing tricks on me and sure enough, there was Dean's car parking.
I raced to the front door threw it open and flung myself at the railings of the front porch and drank in the sight of the Impala and the men climbing out of it.