Chapter 101

The song ended and Anna stormed across the dance floor, "excuse us Lynn, Jack and I need to talk outside now!" She pulled him faster than a rat's a outside the bar. "How dare you, what the using me like I was some cheap hooker." She started to push him.

"Whoa there Anna what are you talking about." Jack said backing away from her.

"You jerk, you're married! I am not anyone's mistress ever. I am going to whoop your ass so that it takes you a month to find it." She was ready to hit him.

"Now Anna don't you think you are over reacting." Jack said.

Anna spun faster than he could finish his sentence kicking him squarely in the chest. "No I don't think that I am over reacting." She said backing him up against the wall. And letting him have it. She wasn't going to fight with words; it felt so much better this time to fight using what kickboxing skills she had. "You will never forget the day you crossed me!"

Doug made a face as Anna pulled him out of the bar.

Lynn walked over to him "what's going on?" she asked.

"Jacks married...and sleeping with Anna only she didn't know it." he could see them out the window and saw when Anna kicked him. "Ohh shit." he said running out the door. He took a step behind Anna and put an arm around her chest. "Alright Anna, come on now. Let it go."

Anna stopped for a minute, but she was still livid at him. She glared at Jack enough for Doug to relax his hold on her.

"Thanks for pulling that psycho off me Doug." Jack said as he wiped the blood from his lip.

Anna snapped again. "You son of a b..." Anna let go again as she swung with her fist followed by another swift kick.

Doug tried not to grin when jack got his ass kicked again. After a small look from Lynn Doug grabbed Anna's arm again and pulled her back. "Hey come on. You don't want to go to jail. Besides it's my job to fight people. Come on." he said trying to pull her back inside. "Just let it go."

She wanted to kill him for doing that to her. She shook her hand free from Doug but instead of lunging at Jack again, she fought back the tears, "I have to go, there's someplace I need to go." She started to walk down the street, "sorry for ruining your night Doug. Enjoy the rest of your date."

"Anna wait." he said jogging after her. He gently took her hand. It was dark out and he didn't really want her walking alone at night. "Let me give you a ride...i don't want you to walk alone."

"I'm okay." She said, "I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. Besides I'm not going far." She really didn't want him to take her to an NA meeting it was better if she went herself. Made the extra effort herself. "I'm not going to let him set me back."

"Ok" he said softly, moving out of her way. "Just make sure you call me ok...I really am sorry." he said letting her go past him. It didn't matter anyway; his date was shot for tonight after that.

"Yeah I will. I don't know when but I'll call you." She said as she continued down the street. She kicked herself all the way to the meeting for letting him do that to her. She sat down in the back where she hoped no one could see her tears falling as she tried to start to work thru yet another mess in her life. She closed her eyes silently thinking to herself, "Why does life hate me right now."

Doug walked back to Lynn. "Sorry about that." he said to her with his head down.

"Don't worry about it. She needed to know. At least you were honest." after a quick kiss she whispered into his ear. "Come on...let's go back to my place. It's loud in there anyway."

Doug nodded as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked to his car.

Anna opened her cell phone after the meeting. She was crying and didn't want to walk home alone. It was a good mile and a half from the meeting place to her apartment and she didn't trust herself to be alone right now. She hit the button for Doug's cell phone number and sat down on the stairs leaning against the railing for support.

Lynn led Doug to her couch once they got to her house. She gently pushed him down and laid on top of him pulling him into a kiss. As soon as she got his shirt off Doug's cell phone started to ring. He tried to ignore it at first but then realized he had asked Anna to call him. 'What if she needs something?' he asked himself. He gently pushed Lynn away and pulled the phone off his belt. She just sighed as she saw the name on his caller ID. He cleared his throat and answered the phone. "Yeah."

Anna heard his voice on the phone and fell apart again, "Ca...Ca...Can y...yo...you come and g...get m...me." She said sobbing into the phone, "I...I...d...dd...Don't...kn know if I...ca...ca can...g...get ho...home."

"yeah, yeah" he said softly. he winced when he looked at lynn. he knew she was going to be upset. "I'll be right there." he closed his phone and sighed, pulling her hair out of her face.

"I know...just go. She's your friend."

Doug didn't know what to say to her...so he said nothing. He leaned forward and gave her a kiss and stood up. After throwing on his undershirt and tucking his green one under his arm he was out the door and over to the NA building. He parallel parked his car and ran up the stairs where he found Anna crying in the hallway. He stopped running when he saw her and slowly walked over to her pulling her into a hug. "Ohh sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

She looked up at him realizing that he wasn't all the way dressed, "I...I'm s...s...sorry." She sobbed when she realized what she had interrupted. "Y..you w...were...bu...busy."

Doug put his hands on either side of her face so he could look her in the eyes. "I'm never too busy for you. You understand? Never." he wiped the running mascara off from under her eyes and kissed her forehead. "come on" he said putting an arm around her. "let's get you out of here."

She let him led her out of the building as she continued to choke on her sobs. It hurt, "I... don't...tr...trust...my... myself right now."

"Ok" he said rubbing her back as they walked outside. He opened the door for her and helped her in. Doug decided it was best to take her home. He drove quickly. He caught the clock...it was getting late and he could feel it. He rubbed his face as he pulled into her apartment parking place. He walked around the car, helped her out and up to her apartment. Once they were there he walked her over and sat her down putting an arm around her and pulling her into his chest. "Come on, talk to me." he knew sometimes it helped to just babble and let everything out, and he was there for her even if it took all night.

"Life hates me right now." She sobbed into his chest, "I don't want to mess up again. I don't want to let you down again. I don't wanna be used and thrown away."

Doug rubbed her back and rested his head on top of hers. He was quiet for a minute letting her cry and then started to make her feel better. "Ok...first of all, you're not going to mess up. You're so strong Anna. Second you won't let me down. I know how hard you work for everything, and i know you can do it. Lastly..." he leaned back and pulled her head up to look at him. He really wanted her to hear this part. "Don't you ever let a man make you feel down. No one is worth it, and not Jack Brandon. you need to find someone who...who loves you so much he cant stand not to be around you. Someone who calls you in the middle of the night just because he's bursting to talk to you, someone who'd give his life to make you happy. That guys out there Anna, because we all have soul mates. You just haven't found him yet...and I know you will because you're too special to ever be alone." Doug started to wipe away the tears from her face. "And too beautiful to cry like this." he put his hand on the side of her face again. "I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true...I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't. You understand?"

She looked at him and just nodded. She couldn't find any words to say. Her heart was broken into a million pieces. And she didn't know if she'd ever be able to put it back together again. She couldn't find the strength to tell him that the one person who she thought was her soul mate she had thrown away for a stupid reason. The only man she would ever truly love was standing there right in front of her. As she pulled away from him she headed into her bedroom.

She pulled the box out of the closet, the one that was well hidden that he hadn't managed to find when he was tearing apart her closet. She set it down on the coffee table as she sunk into the couch. Her head now resting on her hands, the tears coming once more, this was hard for her, but she trusted him to help keep her from going down that wrong path, "I need you take that please, get it out of here. I don't want it, I don't need it, and I can't go back to that place again. I don't want to be that person anymore. They aren't mine; they were Max's I just hadn't gotten rid of it yet. That's where it came from, that's how they came to be here."

"Ok" he said softly. He knew that was hard for her to do. "Come on, you need to lay down." he said standing up so she could stretch out on the couch. He put his green shirt over her and knelt down beside her head. "You're going to be ok Anna." he didn't know if she wanted him to go or stay. She probably didn't want a man around right now. He grabbed the shoebox and stuck it under his arm. "You call me tomorrow, promise?" he said standing up and walking to the door.

"I will. I promise." She said as she closed her eyes. She was tired and could feel her eyes not wanting to open after they were closed. She felt so alone, more alone that she had even remembered feeling before.

Doug left and drove home in silence. He was so upset with jack...with everything. He got home and flopped in bed. He didn't even change. Tomorrow would come soon enough with its new problems and heartaches. For now he just wanted to sleep and hope for better things for them both.

Anna moved and opened her eyes. Oh sleeping on the couch again had been a mistake everything ached. Doug's shirt was across the top of her, she smiled before she remembers last night events. She walked into the bathroom and took a couple of Tylenol before throwing on her running clothes and her shoes. She laced them up and tucked her keys and cell phone into the pockets of her sweatshirt. She locked the door behind her and went down the stairs. She needed to clear her head. She started out along the river where the steam was coming off the water giving a light fog to the area where she was running. It felt so good to be getting away for what time she could. The early morning jogs were here favorites. Even though she hurt pushing herself, to get back into her routine felt good.

She might just have to stop by county on her way back. Doug had told her to call and she had promised that she would but she wanted to do this first. She felt awful about interrupting his date, or did she. She had to smile when she thought about how sexy he looked in nothing but the undershirt. Oh man that probably caused some problems between him and Lynn. She wanted him to be happy and if she was causing trouble in his relationship he wouldn't be happy. She stopped thinking about Doug's love life. She came back, breathing hard now; she walked into the ambulance bay. She picked up the basketball that was laying there near the hoop. Ha yeah right like she could get it up there with a cast on her wrist. She bounced it a couple of times on the ground and shot. Shocked when it actually went in. Those made her feel a little better. She threw it up a few more times smiling to herself. She didn't completely suck at this after all.