Wahoo! Part 3! Thanks for all the support so far! Now...on to the fic!

After the excitement of Locke cutting out his kidneys, the game show resumes! But before that...

Flashback

Charlie: Guys, where are we?
Ominous Voice: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Shannon: Did you guys here someone say mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Sayid: Maybe we are on an edible substance?
Charlie: Like a donut?
Boone: Or a pineapple?
Jack: Or a mango?
Sawyer: How the hell did you get here?
Jack: I have rocket boosters! (Silence, in which Sawyer hits him over the head with an inhaler, killing him.)
Boone: Sawyer! You killed him!
Sawyer: Yeah, but he's just gonna come back to life...
(Sure enough, Jack is reborn!)
Jack: Maybe we're on a donut? (Sawyer hits him over the head.)

End flashback

Shannon: STOP FOLLOWING ME!
Sawyer: Just do something weird and then I can go! (During this, the MONSTER is behind them. For the purposes of this fic, the monster is...A GIANT KITTEN!)
Shannon: It's the monster!
Sawyer: Nah, it's just a kitten.
Shannon: Really?
Sawyer: Nope.
Shannon:...
Sawyer:...
Shannon:...
Sawyer:...So, are we on a donut or what?
Shannon: DON'T JUST STAND THERE! KILL IT!
Sawyer: Alright, I'll kill it with...YOUR INHALER! (Hits kitten with inhaler. Kitten blinks cutely.) Well, that's pretty weird, I'll go back now.

What's Rousseau doing? Well...

Sayid: Ah, the masterpiece that is my time machine! Good work Rousseau!
Rousseau: Can you untie me now?
Sayid: NO!

And Claire?

Claire: There's gotta be something weird here so I can win back my baby...(Suddenly...MORE LOUD NOISES! ANOTHER PLANE CRASH! Hey, how else would I bring in more extras to be eaten by the monster? Anyhoo, a monkey steps out.)
Claire: Well, that's weird! Time to go back!
Monkey: (I shall rule this island! Muhahahahahahahahah!)

Back at the game show...

Charlie: Seeing as Rousseau is an integral part of a time machine just now, she is disqualified! Next round is to guess what I had for breakfast!
Claire: Don't you think this is getting a little bit stupid?
Sawyer: Shut up! Tomatoes!
Charlie: Claire's right! This needs a bit more excitement...I've got it! Each of you must capture an islander, and trap them in a giant coconut. Don't worry about the coconuts, they're provided for you!
Claire: What about the islanders? Wont they suffocate?
Charlie: The island will revive them! Now go!

Deep in the jungle...

Shannon: (Hmm...Locke should be here...)
(Shannon goes into an opening, and sees a trail of kidneys. Just then Jin comes in in a gollum-esque pose.)
Jin: Hajigodaba! Precious...KIDNEYS!
Shannon:...That's just wrong. (Starts to follow the trail of kidneys until she gets to Locke.)
Shannon: Hi Locke.
Locke: You know, cheese is a very unusual thing...
Shannon: O...k...listen Locke...
Locke: The island will give you what you want!
Shannon:...Yea...anyway, the um...ISLAND...told me that you were to follow me.
Locke: I cannot question the island!
Shannon: (Too easy...)

Elsewhere...

Sawyer: Here, Jack...
(Jack is hyper! He runs around the trees.)
Jack: HealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHeal...
Sawyer: There's someone injured at the game show place.
Jack: (Perks up) HealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHealHeal... (runs off)
Sawyer: Too easy... (Suddenly ETHAN jumps out and kidnaps Jack! Bet you weren't expecting that! He stabs Sawyer!) Oww! You stabbed me!
Ethan: No I didn't.
Sawyer: Yes you did, I saw you!
Ethan: If you do not deny it, I will kill one of them!
Sawyer: One of who? OWW! You stabbed me again! (Locke runs up to him.)
Locke: The island will heal you. Have faith.
Sawyer: What'll it do? Make fairies appear?
Locke: Yes. (Fairies appear.)
Sawyer: Cool! (Shannon comes in and drags Locke off.)
Shannon: That's the fifth time you've run off to give advice to people! STOP IT!
Ethan: If you do not give me Claire, one of you will die!
Sawyer: What you gonna trade me for it?
Ethan: What?
Sawyer: What'll you trade for your beard?
Ethan: I don't have a beard? Anyway, you're in no position to bargain!
Sawyer: Yes I am!
Ethan: How?
Sawyer: I have your legs!
Ethan: How did you do that?
Sawyer: Inhaler.
Ethan: You cut off my legs with an inhaler?
Sawyer: And a gummi bear!

And what's Claire doing?

James (AKA Fortune telling guy from Claire's first flashback): GREAT DANGER!
Claire: Yeah, yeah, just keep moving.

At the game show...

Charlie: Well, Shannon is disqualified as Locke kept running away. (Locke is STILL cutting out his kidneys)
Charlie: Stop that! It's disgusting!
Jack: (Sobbing) I'm useless...the island is healing everyone...
Charlie: Don't worry, just count to ten and you'll be fine! One sugar plum fairy, two sugar plum fairies...(Hurley enters)
Hurley: 4 8 15 16...
Charlie: I'm the counting guy! Stop stealing my thunder! (Punches Hurley. Jack perks up.)
Jack: I'll heal you!
Locke: The island will heal you more!
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Will Jack ever heal someone? Will the monkey dominate the island? Answers soon...Please review!