Hello! Sorry for the long gap, but a reviewer raised a point that I could not ignore. Kate! So, without further ado...
Oh, and I don't own lost...
(Kate is in the middle of a clearing. She is moving her aeroplane
model around.)
Kate: AHHH! Mayday! Mayday! Ahh systems are down!
Eaaaaaarrrrrggghhh! Boom! Aahahahahahahahahaha! Ahhhhh we're all
gonna die! The monster! Roooooar! Ahhhhhh! Munch munch munch! Mmmmm,
that was delicious. (Bill walks into the clearing.)
Bill: Have
you been doing that this whole time?
Kate: Maybe. (Focuses on
the plane.) Mmmm! Bill looks tasty! Munch munch munch!
Bill:
Okkkayyy...
Back at the quiz show...
Charlie: It's the final round! Sawyer versus Claire for the baby!
The final round will be...(suddenly the monkey from that plane crash
appears! With a giant translator helmet on his head! Oooh, shiny!)
Monkey: Greetings, delicious flesh covered beings! I will rule
you now!
Sawyer: What if we refuse? (Monkey snaps his fingers.
Many other monkeys in tuxedos appear from the trees!)
A few hours later...
Kate: I can't believe I come back from the clearing just to be
ruled by a monkey!
Sayid: Don't worry. My time machine can fix
everything!
Kate: How? It's Rousseau strapped to a tree!
Sayid:
Not quite...(Rousseau is running on a large hamster wheel.)
Rousseau: Come on, Percival! Pick up the pace! (Michael enters.)
Michael: Hey! what's going on?
Kate: We're being ruled by a
monkey.
Michael: Ah well. As long as Walt's okay...(others appear
and STEAL Walt! Perfect timing!) They took my son.
Sayid: We'll
find him, don't worry.
Michael: They took my son.
Kate: We
know. We saw it.
Michael: They took my son.
Sayid:...hey
Michael, want a banana?
Michael: They took my son. (Sayid stuffs
the banana into Michael's mouth.)
Michael: (Between bites)
They...took...my...son!
Sawyer: That's it! I can't take being
ruled by a monkey anymore! (Hits monkey over the head with an
inhaler. It dies.) Wow, that was easy.
Kate:...that was Jack.
Sawyer: Ah hell! (Jack gets up. Sawyer hits him again. Then
Sawyer hits the REAL monkey, and thus the islanders are free! What a
short tyrannical reign! Yay!)
In the middle of the forest...
James (Fortune Telling guy from Claire episode): Ah, my precious
baby...(strokes ice cream.)
Rousseau: May I hold your baby?
James: That's MY ice cream.
Rousseau: You don't want me to
hold it!
James: It's mine. It can't be any other!
Rousseau:
Please?
James: It can't be any other. Great danger...HEY! MY
BABY!
Rousseau: Hah! Now I can get my baby!
James: Great
Danger! Danger! High Voltage!
Rousseau: What?
James:
Umm...nothing...GIVE ME MY BABY! NOOOOOO!
Back to the game show!
Charlie: Well, during the time when we were ruled by the monkey
gave me an idea for the final task! Look at Sayid! (Everyone looks at
Sayid.)
Sayid: Walt? What are you doing? Why is that tree talking
to me?...What? Eat Locke?
Charlie: Your final task is to follow
him and make it seem like you can see everything he sees! First
person to be found out loses! (Claire and Sawyer approach Sayid.)
Sayid: Okay, we need to (in the tune of follow the yellow brick
road from Wizard of Oz) Follow the long greyish pipe, follow the long
greyish pipe, follow follow follow follow follow the long greyish
pipe!
Claire: You have got to be kidding me...
Sawyer:
Must...win...BABY!
A little later...
Sayid: Let's climb that tree!
Claire: We'll need a rope for
that...
Sayid: (In the tune of if I only had a brain from wizard
of Oz) I could sing with all the birdies, and dance with all the palm
trees if I only had a rope...
Sawyer: Sayid, what...
Sayid:
We must find the Wizard! (James pops up.)
James: It can't be any
other!
Sayid, Claire and Sawyer:...
James: Too much?
Later still...
Sayid: Hey look! It's a nice witch!
Sawyer: Sayid, that's a
polar bear!
Sayid: Don't be scared, it's a good witch! (Polar
bear starts scratching Sayid.) Ow! The witch isn't being nice! I
don't like it here!
Claire: Then run!
Sayid: No, no! I'll
just tap my shoes. There's no place like home, no place like
home...(It starts to rain.)
Sayid: I'm melting! (Collapses.)
Sawyer: Well, I guess we'll never know who won.
Sayid: Claire
wins.
Sawyer: DAMMIT! (Breaks down.) I only wanted a
baby...(Claire looks around and picks up a coconut)
Claire: I
know this isn't quite the same, but here. (Hands the coconut to
Sawyer.)
Sawyer: I'm so happy! (Hugs coconut.)
Claire:
Okay...
Back at the game show station...
Claire: Get my baby out of that Pineapple!
Charlie: Okay, I'll
need a Food processor, a carving knife and a blender.
Claire: YOU
CAN'T PUT MY BABY IN A BLENDER!
Charlie:Well of course not
Claire. But come on, let me at least make some lunch first!
Ah, the end is near...if there's any stuff in the fic you want answered, write in your review what you want me to put in the next part and I'll do my best. If not please review anyway!
