See You Again!
(Chapter Seventeen)
There was nothing left to bury or burn of Rebecca Annette Lindsey.
There were no death certificates or anything left to even identify.
There was no proof that even such a person had existed at all.
It didn't matter.
Rebecca Annette Lindsey with or without proof had existed and the people who loved her were devastated.
It had been agreed by the people who loved her best; Bobby, Dean, Sam, Cas, Jo, and Ellen that they, at least, would have some type of funeral for the young woman who had blown into their lives.
Oddly enough there was one more attendant at the memorial and that was the demon, Crowley. No one had enough strength to gainsay his being there and there really seemed no point in fighting it.
It was Crowley who obtained the memory box for each of them to place something "significantly Beck" in.
It was Sam who suggested the memorial spot be the little ghost town where he had been held hostage by yellow eyes with the other "gifted" children.
"Becks would have liked that." Sam said defensively.
No one said a word against it.
It was Bobby who brought the seven-shot glasses and the bottle of Beck's favorite bourbon for a farewell toast.
It was Ellen who stood in place of Alyssa, Beck's mother, grieved as if she'd lost her own daughter (in a way she had), and brought Beck's favorite flower, purple tulips, for her.
"I wanna plant them over the memory box." Ellen said not bothering to explain her reasoning.
No one questioned it anyway.
It was Jo who brought a pack of Marlboro's, Beck's brand of cigarette, and flatly said she had every intention of smoking one after the "memorial funeral" for the girl she considered a sister.
It was Cas who used up a chunk of his remaining angel "mojo" to a marker for Rebecca. A marble statue of a lovely young woman crossing the threshold of a doorway.
Last of all came Dean, who held the bag of things that each of them had chosen to put in the memory box. Dean who's silent tears everyone pretended not to notice.
No one was sure how to proceed next, they had all attended or had made makeshift funerals for someone in their lives with the possible exception of Cas. Yet not one of them was sure of how to kick off this one for Beck.
"She seemed like an exceptional young woman." Crowley gently and softly observed out loud.
"Rebecca was a woman of faith, hope, determination, and love." Cas said in both reply to Crowley and as a spoken observation of his lost lady friend.
"She was funny. When mom and I first picked up Becca I was asleep. After I woke up and talked to her for a few minutes it was like I had always known her. The way she put things made me laugh." Jo said with a sad smile.
"The girl was fiercely loyal, damn I hate this shit." Bobby said.
Sam walked over to his brother and took the bag with the items in it from him. Sam then proceeded to dump them on the ground in front of the statue. He sifted through them for a moment, found his item that was "uniquely Beck", brought it over to Crowley, and waited for him to open the "memory box".
Crowley watched Sam as he squatted in front of the statue and sifted for his item, he watched as Sam found said item, brought it over to him and patiently waited for him to open the memory box.
Crowley obligingly opened the memory box for Sam and watched as he put a palm-sized figurine of an angel and a young man dancing together.
Crowley didn't know what the significance of it meant but concluded that it was attached to a special memory of Beck for the youngest Winchester.
"Becks had the best laugh, especially when you picked her up and twirled her." Sam said his voice breaking only a little.
Ellen crouched down next, set the tulips by the statue, and sifted for her item, once she found it she joined Sam, and waited for Crowley to open the "memory box" once again.
Crowley observed Ellen as she crouched down (put aside the beloved purple tulips), sifted through them, found her item, joined Sam, and patiently waited for him to open the memory box as he had for Sam.
Crowley, again, opened the memory box and, again, watched as Ellen put in a silver bullet. This item seemed a little odd, but it was again probably in connection to a memory of Beck.
"Shortly after we met Becca-Ann on the road she agreed to come on a job with us. She killed her first werewolf and cried like a baby afterward. I was really proud of her." Ellen said.
Cas tilted his head to the side and used a little bit more of his angel "mojo" to restore the item he wished to place in the "memory box." Once the item was restored Cas joined Sam and Ellen patiently took his turn and waited for Crowley to open said, "memory box".
Crowley watched as Cas gave up another portion of his power and restored what he planned to put into the memory box. He watched as Cas made his way over to Ellen and Sam, and as Cas quietly with only a polite look asked him to open the memory box.
Crowley, for the third time, opened the memory box and, for the third time, watched as the item that Cas put in was Beck's poker chip necklace. This item Crowley thought he understood the significance of, the girl had never taken it off.
Jo took her turn, as the items dwindled it was easy to crouch down, find hers, stand up, and walk over to the others. Jo (like Sam, Ellen, and Cas before her) patiently waited for Crowley to open the "memory box".
Crowley watched Jo (just as he had the others) bend over, find her item, join her mother, the angel of the lord, her friend, and waited her turn for Crowley to open the memory box.
Crowley, yet again, opened the memory box and, yet again, watched as Jo placed what appeared to be a rather trashy-looking Barbie doll into it.
He frowned and shook his head, but thought that it may be some joke connected with Beck as when Ellen caught sight of the doll she laughed.
Bobby wheeled himself over to the last two items that waited to be claimed. As Bobby was in a wheelchair bending over to retrieve his was something of a problem. Cas who had been thinking about something he needed to tell Bobby looked over in the old hunter's direction and observed his problem.
Without a word the angel (of now only minor power) walked over to Bobby, bent down for the older man, retrieved the item Bobby indicated to, handed it to him, and pushed him over to the others where Bobby (not so patiently) waited for Crowley to open the "memory box".
Crowley, once again, opened the memory box and, once again, watched as this time Bobby placed in his item, a royal blue bandanna. A smile was exchanged between the old wheelchair-bound hunter and the Winchesters. Crowley thought he saw a little bit of blood on the bandanna. If he had to it was easy to guess why it had made it into the memory box.
Dean, yet again, was last as he bent down, picked up his own item, joined the rest of his family, and looked at Crowley to open the "memory box".
Crowley, for the final time, watched as this time Dean bent over, picked up the final item on the ground, joined the others, and looked at him to open the memory box.
Crowley, for the final time, opened the memory and, this last time, watched as Dean placed a small notebook in it.
Crowley had no bloody clue what was in the notebook. He was tempted to look, but he thought better of it and closed the memory box for the final time.
"Pour the bourbon, Bobby." Dean said huskily.
Bobby did as Dean asked handing each glass to whoever took it from him, including Crowley.
"Rebecca." Cas said raising his glass.
"Rebecca." the others echoed.
The assembled party drank to the late young woman who they loved like; a sister, a daughter, a once in a lifetime, or a friend.
Jo opened the pack of Marlboro's, took out a cigarette, and had Bobby light it up to be smoked. Jo coughed quite a bit through the cigarette, but she smoked the whole thing.
With Castiel's assistance, Crowley crouched down to the earth in front of the (for lack of a better word) headstone, placed the box in between the two of them, and (this is where Castiel's assistance came into play) dug up the earth that was asked to house Beck's memory.
Castiel picked up the memory box from where it had laid between him and Crowley, stood with it, walked over to Dean, and handed it over to him.
"Rebecca died to keep you, Ellen, and Joanna safe. It only seems fitting that you put her memory to rest, Joanna covers it with the earth, and Ellen plants her flowers." Cas stated to Dean his voice brooking no refusal.
Dean, Jo, and Ellen all did as Cas had deemed the only thing that they could do at this point.
With the memory box buried and the flowers planted on top of it, it seemed as if there was nothing left to do but grieve for the fallen young woman they all loved so much, in their different ways.
The funeral party broke up and the members of it went their own ways again, a few of them traveling together yet locked in their own separate memories.
Crowley went back to his lovely mansion to handle of few things, but could not get the dearly departed out of his thoughts. He went to his billiard room and in his mind's eyes saw her again saying, "Really Mr. Crowley I have to insist on you not insulting these two...that's my job."
"My apologize, Beck. I'll try my best not to usurp your job again." Crowley repeated his apology to the empty air and poured himself a drink.
Sam Winchester tried to focus on the road as he drove the Impala, Dean was sleeping in the backseat, but all Sam could see in front of him was Beck giggling, "Yay Cas and Sammy!"
A moment later his heart full of this particular image and grief over the young woman. Sam pulled the car over, crossed his arms over the steering wheel, laid his down on them, and began to sob silently.
In another car, in the opposite direction of Samuel Winchester, drove Ellen Harville. Once again her natural child, Jo, was asleep in the back, leaving Ellen with the memories of the young woman they had just lost whom she loved like a daughter.
In a moment of remembrance and pain, Ellen looked at the passenger's seat and saw Beck ask, "Does it ever get any easier?"
"No sweetheart, it's not supposed to." Ellen chose to answer this time, but only to an empty seat.
In the same car as Ellen Harville in the backseat, Jo pretended to be grabbing some shuteye. She didn't want her mother to worry about her in her grief over the sister she had, had all too briefly.
Jo opened her eyes at some point and stared up at the car's ceiling seeing Beck laugh, "I certainly hope not, Sammy, because I am not going to be the one to re-potty train you."
Jo tried to smile or even laugh at this memory, but it did her no good as the tears began to slide down her cheeks.
In South Dakota, an angel of the lord cut off from heaven stood outside the front door of an old hunter's house. Castiel stood in front of Bobby's front door trying to will himself to go into the old hunter. He knew that the business he had with Bobby may cause him great pain, but it was something he had promised Rebecca he would find out.
She was no longer here but in paradise. Castiel felt that it was only right that the other person involved, Bobby, be told. But instead of seeing the front door in front of him, Castiel saw Beck accuse Gabriel angrily (in his defense no less), "You hurt him!"
Cas bowed his head, sent up a prayer for his fallen friend, cried for the very first time for a few minutes, and let himself in through Bobby's front door.
In that same house in South Dakota, Bobby Singer sat and stared into the fireplace as Castiel the Angel walked in through his front door. Regret was doing its job of filling up the old hunter. He felt guilty because he had not been there when the girl had made her sacrifice.
"Bobby." Castiel said coming up behind the man.
"What do you want?" Bobby growled softly at the angel.
"I need to tell you something that concerned both you and Rebecca. I promised to find this information for her here in your home, but now she is in Heaven. I thought maybe it would be just as desirable to tell you since she would not be able to." Castiel tried to explain.
Bobby turned his wheelchair around as the angel babbled, he listened without understanding what the hell Castiel was trying to say to him. What he did understand was that like himself the angel was grieving over Beck's loss.
"Whatever it is you think you gotta say just say." Bobby said trying not to be unkind.
"Please understand that I in no way wish to hurt you by telling this to you as I would have to Rebecca." Castiel said trying to reassure the man he had grown to respect.
"Awww, just spit it out for God's sake." Bobby replied gruffly attempting to keep his patience with the angel.
"I was able to find out who fathered Rebecca. Her true last name is yours." Castiel tried to gently tell Bobby.
" 'Ur standin' there tryin' to tell me that Beck was my daughter? Have you gone loco?!" Bobby demanded partly wishing for it to be true.
Cas sighed wishing it were as easy as losing one's mind, but it was not. He knew that what he had with him may hurt Bobby, but he also knew that Bobby wanted to be proven wrong.
Humans were funny that way.
From the depths of his trench coat pockets, Castiel produced a photograph and a birth certificate.
Castiel quietly handed over the two items to Bobby Singer and waited.
Bobby took the photo and the birth certificate from Cas and look over both of them.
Looking at the picture Bobby recognized the woman he had briefly spent time with after the death of his wife, the woman he had driven away.
A woman he had once known simply as "Lyssie". Reading Beck's birth certificate was enough proof for him to believe what Castiel and the picture were telling him.
Bobby turned his head away from Cas back towards the fireplace, but instead of seeing it all he saw was Beck, his daughter saying, "Don't you god damn ever let me hear you talking about putting a bullet in your mouth again. Ending your own life is being a coward! What exactly are you living for?! Really? Are you so god damn selfish that Sam, Dean, and I aren't enough reasons alone for you! News Flash here: We. Love. You!"
"I love you too, darlin." Bobby mumbled.
Cas crouched down and offered the broken father a hug, after having Rebecca in his life it seemed natural.
Bobby fought against Castiel in his pain and even went as far as to sock the angel in the jaw. This action only resulted in hurting his own hand, Castiel didn't even attempt to defend himself or stop the grieving man.
When Bobby's anger was spent Castiel's arms were still there and the old hunter allowed himself to cry with the angel comforting him.
Miles away somewhere down a back highway Dean Winchester was once again in the driver's seat of the Impala.
Unfortunately for Sam Winchester, Dean was all over the road due to his own images of Rebecca "Beck" Lindsey continually looming before him. Dean was allowing the car to drift into the opposite lane and oncoming traffic as he "saw" his Becky say. "I've got to do something to protect myself, Dean. Just being able to shoot a gun isn't gonna cut it and you know it, mister."
"Magic didn't help either, baby." Dean mumbled in return at the vision.
"DEAN!" Sam yelled to bring his brother back from reality and away from oncoming traffic.
"Whoa!" Dean cried out and straightened the Impala back into the proper lane.
Sam let it go, he knew that whether Dean was going to admit it or not he was hurting enormously over Beck's death.
Luck was not with Sam as once again the car drifted, this time to the shoulder and a ditch as Dean had another memory in front of him, instead of the road.
This time Dean saw his Becky say, "Here's a tip, flirting with a younger woman at your age is either creepy or cute. Nothing else mister."
"I'd flirt with you until I really was eighty-five and about to have a heart attack." Dean said softly to the windshield as Becky's image evaporated and the ditch loomed dangerously close.
Once again Dean quickly yanked the steering wheel and straightened the Impala back onto the ash fault. Leaving his little brother nervous and white-knuckled gripping his seat.
Seeing a diner on the road ahead Sam seized the opportunity and said, "We haven't eaten in a while, why don't we stop up here and grab a bite?"
"Yea, sure Sammy. Whatever you want." Dean replied only half aware of what his brother was saying.
His heart full of the love of his life and his stomach empty Dean, upon reaching its turn off, turned into the diner parking lot, parked the Impala, and followed Sam into the little greasy spoon. Once inside the road stop restaurant, the Winchesters availed themselves of a seat. They were greeted by a waitress with menus, and Sam ordered two coffees for their drinks.
Dean looked at his menu without really seeing it, at the moment it was just a convenient hiding place from his little brother and his little brother's concern.
"It's not a crime to hurt you know?" came an elderly voice from the bar next to the boys' table.
"I beg your pardon?" Sam asked turning towards the voice.
An old gentleman, a grandfather type, got up from his stool and walked over to the Winchesters' table.
"I said it's not a crime to hurt. Even from over there, it was easy to see when you two strolled in you were hurting from the loss of a loved one." the old gentleman replied.
Sam frowned a little he didn't wish to be rude, but the old guy's patronizing nosiness was not either helpful or sought for.
Dean looked up from his menu at the old man and all he could see was Beck's smile on the old man's face.
"Would you like to join us?" Dean found himself asking.
"I'd love to son." came the reply, their new friend sliding into the booth next to Dean.
"You didn't tell her you loved her before she died did ya son?" the old gentleman asked Dean gently.
"No." Dean replied hoarsely.
"And ya think doin so now ain't gonna make a damn site bit a difference either, that about the size of it?" the old gentleman further asked Dean.
Dean merely nodded his head and looked out the window away from the old gentleman.
"I lost my granddaughter bout three months ago and felt nearly the same damn grief you've got raging on inside you son. Ya, see that little girl was the light of my life after her mother, my daughter. But she knew I loved her and I'll willing to bet at the end ur girl knew the same." the old gentleman confided.
Sam could no longer be silent while this complete stranger offered his big brother comfort and solace without ever having met them before.
"I'm sorry, but you don't even know us. Why are you even bothering?" Sam asked skeptically.
"What's your name son?" the old gentleman asked Sam.
"Sam." Sam replied.
"Samuel, a fine name. Bet you're the youngster here too. Big brother here needs you to be strong even though you're hurtin' from the loss too. Well, Samuel, I think you're doin a mighty fine job." the old gentleman told Sam.
Sam could not help but smile at the old gentleman, the way he had about him reminded Sam so much of Beck that he could not find it within himself to rebuke the old gentleman.
The waitress returned noticed the addition to the party and gave the old gent a new cup of coffee.
Sam ordered for both he and Dean, if he hadn't Dean wouldn't have eaten at all.
Their new friend put in his own order adding a few slices of pie to it for the younger men and himself once Sam was done. The waitress came back almost immediately with the pie, asked if there was anything else, and was politely turned away by the old gentleman.
The old gentleman dished out the other two pieces of pie to Sam and Dean, then started in on his own.
Dean stared at the slice of pie in front of him and from somewhere in the past he heard his Becky say, "Of course, how silly of me must always make sure there is pie."
A sad smile spread across Dean's face as he dove into the slice of pie that his new friend had placed in front of him.
Eventually, the waitress returned with their food and the three men ate in silence.
As the meal finished up the old gentleman got up, went over to the cashier, and paid the bill for all three of their meals.
"You didn't have to do that. Thank you." Sam said as he and Dean got up and followed the old man out.
"No, I didn't. I did though 'cause I wanted to." came the reply.
"You mind me riding along with you for a bit?" Dean asked the old guy.
"Not at all, son. The company would be more than welcome. I'll let you settle up with your brother here and wait for you over in the truck." the old gentleman replied hitching his thumb in the direction of his truck.
"Dean, what are you doing?!" Sam demanded.
"Gettin outta the rat race Sammy." Dean replied tiredly.
"We got the apocalypse banging down our door and you're gonna split?" Sam asked incredulously.
"To hell with the apocalypse Sam! We didn't ask for this shit and neither did she! The three of us have been used from day one and now she's dead! I'm out you can do whatever it is you think you need to, to save the world, cause there ain't much of one left for me." Dean exploded.
"Dean..." Sam trailed off not knowing what else to say to his big brother.
"Don't worry about me kid. I'll call ya. I just need to get in the wind and forget for a while." Dean replied.
Sam nodded his understanding, though the last thing he, personally, wanted to do was ever forget one moment of the life they had, had with Beck.
Sam then impulsively hugged his big brother; before taking the keys from him and headed to the Impala alone.
Dean stood there a little stunned by Sam's actions watching his brother's retreating backside for a moment before he went to the truck of his new friend and climbed in.
"Where to, son?" the old gentleman asked.
"However long you want the company is fine by me." Dean replied morosely.
"That may be all the way home for all I know, although you might get sick of me long before then too." the old gentleman chuckled as he started up the engine and left the diner parking lot.
Dean smiled a little and said, "I doubt it, my name's Dean by the way, and thanks for lettin me ride along."
"Glad to know ya son. Fredrick Lindsey, but youngsters like you just call me "Pop". To everyone else I'm simply known as "Ed"." The old gentleman replied.
Dean turned and looked at the old gentleman, felt a little shocked, and thought that maybe somewhere down the road that he and "Pop" were now traveling together he may be able to tell him about what happened to his granddaughter.
The woman Dean had known for only three months and had fallen head over heels in love.