White Rabbit!
(Chapter Twenty)
We were just working a job, although the guy's behavior since my return from Heaven had become super-mega-ultra overprotective.
On the upside, I was spending more time with my dad, Bobby Singer.
I had yet to tell him that he was my dad, though I suspected that he already knew.
Dean.
On my first night back from Heaven we had slept together.
I've never felt the way I did that night or the nights we've spent together (without Sam) since.
That night Dean and I became lovers.
Becoming more than just friends and companions had made Dean go from "overprotective" to "controlling".
Okay, if you know Dean like I do you'd already know that "protective" means controlling, and "controlling" means turning into a psycho control freak.
It started to get on my nerves!
Sam.
My best friend and partner in crime became a pain in my ass!
I had been back a little less than twenty-four hours when I saw Sam again, my dad was with him.
Darling Sammy busted in on Dean and me while we were eating Chinese food naked after sex.
Great way to welcome someone home right?
Anyways, so after my parent and best friend walked in to find me and Dean together it turned into a bit of a sideshow.
Dad was still in his wheelchair and looked so torn at the sight of me. Sam on the other hand catapulted into action and tried to kill me.
Thank God Dean got to him before he could get very far.
Dad wheeled himself over towards me and threw holy water on me.
Things started to turn into a nightmare when Cas showed up, helped Dean calm Dad, stopped Sam, and lent me Jimmy's trench coat to cover myself with.
Once it had been established, without a shadow of reasonable doubt, that I was really Miss Rebecca Annette Lindsey (Beck) and not a demon or a shapeshifter or anything like that, everything calmed down considerably.
Sam apologized profusely for trying to kill me.
I, of course, easily forgave him.
Bobby, on the other hand, left the hotel room and I had to go after him. When I caught up to my father, he was crying.
Still wearing nothing, but the trench coat handed to me by Cas I told him that it would be okay and that I understood.
"There's no way you could Becca, but I'm glad ur not pissed at me for trying to end ya, again." Bobby had told me roughly.
It was then that my suspicion that Bobby knew exactly who I was to him grew, though it would take a bit longer to confirm it verbally. The fact that he called me Becca instead of Beck will always be proof enough of it for me.
After that, it was pretty much business as usual. The last job we took for example split the family up for a little while, as dad had to go help, Ellen and Jo. I assume he told them that I was back 'cause I got a text from Ellen that said "See you real soon, baby girl." and one from Jo that said, "If I find out ur some black-eyed bitch inside my sister I will end you!"
I love you too, Ellen and Jo!
Anyway like I said Dad took off to help the Harville women. Cas got a lead on Lucifer so I urged him to take it as I needed more information on the devil and what he was up to if I was going to keep Sammy from becoming his meat suit.
So once again it was Dean, Sam, and I.
During this last job, we had to deal with Sam's meat suit being stolen by some prepubescent ding-dong. At first, Dean had no idea that it wasn't his brother.
Seriously?!
The job started when we met, this ding-dong kid I mentioned, Gary. Well, turns out Gary liked Sam's looks and performed a body-switching spell. So he, Gary remember, got Sam's meat suit and Sam got Gary's. So Dean and I being unaware of what happened started working a ghost job, then "Sam" tried to kill Dean. That's where I got suspicious. Poor Sam got stuck with Gary's life, complete with strict parents and high school.
Poor Sam.
Unfortunately for Sam, it did not get any better as he ran into Gary's friends who had made a pact with a demon to obtain what they wanted.
One of these poor stupid kids, a girl called Nora, was possessed by the demon they conjured, and the other, a boy; Trevor, had his innards eaten.
By the poor possessed girl, Nora, no less.
Ew!
The demon tried to get Sam to meet with Lucifer, to agree to become the fallen angel's vessel.
Thankfully that did not work.
I finally got Dean to listen to me that what we were dealing with was not Sam. We (Dean and I) found Sam. We helped him exercise the demon from the poor stupid girl and got Sammy his body back. The three of us took Gary home, before we got the hell outta dodge Sam had a little talk with Gary.
Whatever it was I hope it worked.
When Sam rejoined us in the car, he told us that Gary's normal life "sucked ass".
Dean countered by telling Sam maybe he and his brother didn't just know the good things they were missing out on.
I had to agree, that not all "normal lives" are like Gary's.
This time the insanity that had become my life started with a phone call. A phone call from a renegade angel, a renegade angel named Anna. She called the guys up and asked them to meet her. I, on the other hand, did not like this and begged Cas to go meet Anna in the boy's place. Dean was not exactly thrilled with me for that, but he can get over it (if he can be psycho overprotective, so can I).
Cas went and reported back that Anna would not say how she got out of her prison in Heaven nor what she was up to. She was evasive and abrupt. Cas was worried and decided to pursue what Anna was up to. He asked me for my opinion and I told him to do it, as well as keep me posted. Cas promised he would and the three of us were on our own again for a little bit, left to wonder what was going on now.
When we did meet up again with Cas the news wasn't good. It turned out Anna had traveled back in time to stop the boy's parents from ever having Sam in the first place.
That could not be allowed to happen.
So an already power-limited Cas got the brilliant idea to send us all back in time.
For the record, I bitched about what a shitty idea that was and was outvoted.
So my darling stupid Cas worked his angel mojo and sent us back into the past. Unfortunately, it did not work the way he planned, because as time and space were shifting I became nauseous as well as lightheaded.
"Dean?!" I cried out frightened.
If Dean ever heard or answered me I don't know, I blacked out.
I have no idea how long I had been unconscious when I woke up to being roughly patted on the face.
"Easy Sammy easy she's not a dolly, ya know." A soft little voice said as I awoke.
"Who's not a dolly?" I asked as I opened my eyes.
In front of my face was a chubby little guy of maybe one year old, two at the most.
"Hi, there sweetie. Aren't you a cutie." I said to the little man.
"Are you a witch?" the little voice that had woken me up asked.
I turned my head to see another little boy. This little person at a best guess was somewhere between the ages of five and six years old.
"No, I'm not a witch. Sorry." I told the little boy.
"That's good, 'cause witches are bad." the five/six-year-old replied.
"Sammy." said the baby.
"Sammy?" I asked with a smile.
"That's his name, he's telling you who he is." the five/six-year-old informed me.
"Oh, well hello Sammy. I'm Lindsey." I introduced myself deciding to use my last name.
"I'm Dean." my new little friend said shyly.
Oh, baby!
What the hell have you gotten yourself into now, Beck!
A moment later what appeared to be the front door of wherever it was, was opened.
Through said door walked a very handsome, very familiar man.
John Winchester.
"You're awake and I see you've met my sons." John Winchester, of all people, said, by way of greeting, to me
I'm starting to see where Dean gets his poor greeting etiquette!
"Yes, we've just met and I have no idea how I got here before you ask." I replied.
"Amnesia?" John wanted to know.
"No." I said returning one word for one word.
"Then what? Look lady, I already took a chance on you. I got two little boys to protect I can't be playing games." John warned me.
"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you." I replied complacently.
"Try me." John said with a slight frown.
I bit my lower lip, frowned, and began the short version of my life. Which would pretty much be the life I had before his sons entered it.
John looked at me and then asked quietly, "That's not all of it is it?"
"No, but if you don't mind I'd rather tell you that part a little at a time and not around the babies," I replied.
"I'm not a baby!" Little Dean proclaimed.
"Oh, I'm sorry there mister. You're right. You're in kindergarten, right?" I apologized to Little Dean.
"Yes, I like kindergarten. My teacher is pretty." Little Dean told me.
I couldn't help but smile. Five years old and already a charmer.
"She is? Wow, you like girls already. Mister?" I asked feigning surprise.
"Yea, but she is old. She is like twenty-eight." my little Dean told me.
I couldn't help but giggle at Dean thinking twenty-eight was old. The Dean I knew was thirty. At that point, Baby Sammy climbed into my lap with his bottle and snuggled against me.
"Whatever else is going on with you or whatever the rest of your story is, I'm willing to wait to hear it. Sam, never takes to somebody new that quick." John told me
"Thank you, not just for giving me the time, but for rescuing me too." I told John.
"You're Welcome. My name is John Winchester, by the way, as you've already been introduced to my sons." John finally introduced himself.
"Lindsey. It's nice to meet you, John." I replied and I meant it.
"Daddy, I'm hungry." Dean announced.
"Do you like pizza?" I asked.
"Yes!" Dean squealed back, in obvious delight.
"Is that ok?" I asked turning back to John.
"Please Daddy please, say yes." Little Dean begged his father.
"It's on me, John. I can make sure Sammy has something soft too if you like." I told John.
"Sure, why not? Ya, wanna go and pick up some pizza for dinner Sammy?" John asked Baby Sam.
"Dean, pizza." Baby Sam babbled back in agreement.
"Alright, let's go then." John smiled.
I climbed off the bed (after Dean did), scooped up Sammy, grabbed his diaper bag, and quickly changed Sam (willing myself to forget who I was changing). I put the baby on my hip, found my purse (thank you John), and grabbed the baby's diaper bag. We followed little Dean and his daddy out to the Impala.
Once we (John, the boys, and I) got to the Impala, John opened the passenger side for me and I put Baby Sammy in his car seat.
While I buckled Baby Sam in, John walked little Dean around to the driver's side door, opened it, and tried to put the little man in on his side.
"Daddy, can I ride upfront with you and Miss Lindsey please?" Little Dean asked his father.
"That might squish Miss Lindsey, buddy." his daddy replied.
"It's ok with me John, I don't mind." I said hearing the tone in both father and son's voices.
"You, sure?" John asked me.
"Absolutely." I replied with a smile.
"Yippy!" Little Dean sang out.
"Yippy!" Baby Sammy parroted.
"Alright, get in kiddo." John said, I could hear the repressed laughter in his voice.
I backed out of the backseat and straightened up. I put the passenger front seat, back in its original position and turned to climb in next to Little Dean.
I looked up to see John standing next to me.
"Everything, ok?" I asked.
"Yup, just waiting for you to get in so we can go." he replied.
I gave him a slightly awkward smile and climbed into the beloved familiar, car.
Once I was in the Impala; I smiled at Little Dean. I fastened his seat belt for him (as he had neglected to do so), and then fastened my own.
John had shut my door for me. Just as I had finished buckling his son, he got in the car.
I looked at John and cleared my throat.
"What?" John asked me.
"Seat belt." I told him.
"Doesn't make much difference." John replied.
"Trust me when I say it really does." I disagreed.
John put on his seat belt to humor me. He smiled at Little Dean and started up the Impala. A moment or two later we were on the road.
John found a Round Table pizza place and we (John and I) unloaded the kids. Once we were in the Round Table we were quickly seated and it went from there.
Later that night when the four of us were back at the motel. Baby Sammy was in his pen asleep and Dean drifting off in his bed when John asked me for the first piece of my story. I got up and made Baby Sam a bottle in case he woke up in the middle of the night. After I did this I sat down next to John.
"Well, I began, several months ago I was in an accident during a storm and nearly drown."
"But someone saved you." John prompted.
"Yes, one of the best men I've ever known to be honest." I told him frankly.
"Anyway; from what this man, his brother, his godfather, a friend of ours, and I have been able to figure out, this storm is what caused me to end up with them." I went on taking a breath.
"What do ya mean?" John asked interestedly.
"That's the tough part of this story and would be better to explain in pieces without the boys." I answered.
"How did I know?" John grumbled, attempting not to chuckle.
I giggled softly.
"Look, you can keep telling me about you later, but there is something you should know about me." John said.
"That you're a hunter?" I asked.
John looked at me skeptically and frowned.
"Takes one to know one." I said shrugging off his look.
"A female hunter, huh." John said with a small smirk.
"Saving People. Hunting Things. The Family Business." I told him, quoting an older version of the man's eldest son.
"Hmm, that's good I may just steal that." John chuckled.
"Go right ahead." I replied.
"Look it's getting late and we're gonna be on the road again here real soon. Why don't you take the other bed? I'll sleep in the chair." John suggested.
"How 'bout you have the bed yourself or curl up with Dean." I counter suggested.
John looked at me for a long minute, I briefly, wondered if he was going to pull Cas's "constipated bulldog" face, but he didn't.
Instead, he went to Little Dean and "curled up" with him.
I checked on Baby Sam, in his pen, and climbed on the vacant second bed.
I snuggled into the pillows and then (in the darkened room) heard John ask; "Do you have any children, Lindsey?"
"No, I don't." I replied, suddenly feeling a little sad.
"That's too bad, good as you are with my boys, you should have a few rug rats of your own." John told me.
"Thanks." I said.
Welcome." he replied.
"Goodnight, John." I yawned
"Night Lindsey. Pleasant dreams." he returned.
Five minutes later I was out like a light.
Time with John and the boys seemed to slide through, the days melted into each other. I found myself forming different kinds of attachments to "this year's model" of Sam and Dean.
My relationship with John became a little more complex than two hunters working together, it was now the two of us raising the boys.
To be perfectly honest, I almost felt as if I was married to the man.
Before I knew it I had been with John and his sons for three months.
"Guess what?" Dean commanded one day, while we were waiting, in yet another motel room, on John.
I'm more baby-sitter than huntress these days!
"What?" I asked dutifully.
"Sammy's gonna turn two in a few months," Dean informed me.
"He is? Wow, that's cool. Sammy's gonna be a big boy like his awesome big brother." I said, making sure to sound impressed.
"Sammy won't be that big though 'cause he'll still be my baby brother." Dean told me.
"Dean, honey, no matter how old Sammy gets or how big he grows, he will always be your little brother." I told Dean.
"Yea and I'm always gonna love him, just like daddy loves me and him. I'm always gonna protect him too." Dean told me, sounding way too serious for a little boy his age.
"Just love him, Dean. That will be enough." I smiled, trying to dispel something that would cause grief in later years.
"That's easy." Dean said confidently.
Suddenly Dean ran into my arms and gave me a "big" hug, and a kiss.
I smiled with surprise and delight.
Then just as suddenly as he ran into my arms he ran out of them again. He went to his baby brother, sat down next to him, and started to play.
John swung open the door and was covered head to toe in guck.
I looked him up and down, then asked, "Ghouls?"
"Pack of them, kind of strange really." John replied.
"Shower. Now. Go." I ordered.
"Yes, ma'am." John replied, giving me a mock salute.
Jack-Ass!
John walked passed his two, gawking, sons; then passed me (actually gave me "the once over", of all things), and went into the bathroom.
I stared at the bathroom door dumbfounded and then began to giggle like a loon.
"What funny?" Baby Sammy asked.
"Your daddy, baby." I replied calming down and giving an indulgent shake of my head.
"Linny, daddy was covered in yucky stuff." Dean told me.
"Yes, I saw. Don't worry daddy will be back to normal soon." I replied.
"Why daddy yucky?" Baby Sammy asked me.
"Daddy got into a fight with the boogeyman and won. But the boogeyman got daddy all yucky first." I told Baby Sam.
"Yucky boogey." Baby Sam said.
"Daddy's a superhero." Dean asserted.
"Well, he's definitely a hero." I agreed.
"With my very own fan club." John said exiting the bathroom.
"Yup, you got it, Johnny." I laughed.
"Daddy keen no more boogeyman goo!" Baby Sam crowed.
"That's right, buddy." John told his baby son, he strode over to him, swooped him up, and swung the baby in his arms.
John walked over to me with Baby Sam in his arms.
He lifted my chin so that my eyes were looking right into his.
What I saw there surprised the Hell outta me and what I felt fluttering in my own heart scared the Heaven outta me.
The beginnings of love.
Holy Shit!
I do not (repeat) do not need this!
I stepped back and looked away from all three Winchester men.
"Lindsey?" John asked, I could hear the confusion in his voice.
"We should have a party for Sammy on his birthday." I said to try and dispel the rising tension.
"Yea, a party for Sammy on his birthday would be fun!" Dean enthusiastically agreed.
"A party for Sammy, huh? Well, that does sound like fun, should we try and have it at Uncle Bobby's house?" John asked Dean.
"Yea, Uncle Bobby is fun and will let us play with his doggie!" Dean cried.
"Doggie! Doggie!" Baby Sam crowed in happy agreement.
"Uncle Bobby?" I asked.
"Bobby Singer, he's a hunter I sometimes go to for help and advice. The boys love him." John explained.
"Oh." I replied.
The late afternoon wore on, Sammy had a small nap, Dean watched TV, and John stared between his sons and me (a lot). I sat quietly brooding on where "my Sam and Dean" were, along with dad and plus Cas.
I made dinner that night, in the motel room's tiny kitchenette, while I did so Little Dean help his daddy pack our things up.
Dinner was a quiet affair, except for the usual noise of Sammy babbling. I think Dean sensed something was going on between John and me. He kept jumping his eyes between John and me, finally, he would end up staring at his food.
Once dinner was finished and everything was either thrown out or washed or packed, John and Dean started hauling our things to the Impala. While they did that I grabbed Sammy's diaper bag and got him ready to go.
Once everything was in the Impala, Sam and I were loaded into it. Sam sat in the backseat with Dean and me in the front seat next to John.
We had been driving for about forty-five minutes in silence, minus the radio playing.
So this is where Dean got his taste in "music" from!
I turned around to check on the little ones and found that they were fast asleep. I turned back around, in my seat, and snapped the radio off.
"Boys are out." I explained before John could protest.
"Oh, alright." John replied.
I took a deep breath, looked out the window, and then asked, "John, do you honestly believe that anything is possible?"
"Lindsey, John replied, taking a deep breath of his own, nearly a year and a half ago my wife was murdered by a demon. If you had asked me that before her death, I would've asked you "like what"? Now yes I can honestly say, after everything I've seen during this nearly year and a half, that I believe that anything is possible."
"Do you remember that storm I mentioned?" I asked, since the last time my life had been discussed was three months ago when I came into his life.
"Yes, the one that introduced you to the man and his family that saved your life." John prompted.
"Right, well it wasn't an ordinary storm. If I'm right it was a storm conjured up by a very powerful being." I started to explain.
"Like a creature?" John asked me.
"No. Not really, something bigger; something beyond what any hunter has traditionally dealt with." I tried to further explain.
"Ok, so what is it we are talking about here?" John wanted to know.
"Well, honestly, and please don't think I'm crazy, but angels." I replied as frankly as possible.
"Angels, seriously?" John asked incredulously.
"Yea, seriously. I wish I was joking believe me." I replied with a slight sigh.
"So...do you know which angel sent you here?" John asked.
"To you and your little sons, yes. Although to be honest I don't think it was his intention for me to end up with you instead of with him and...the others." I replied.
The way he was talking and asking questions at that moment reminded me so much of his younger son, Sam.
The Sam I knew asked questions just like John was doing now.
"So...which angel is it?" John inquired tentatively, sounding a shit ton like the "grown-up" version of Dean.
"His name is Castiel and he rebelled against the other angels to help my new family and me." I replied.
"There are other angels right?" John asked.
"Yes, lots of them and for the most part they hate us." I replied honestly.
"Your friend, Castiel, he ain't one of them though." John stated.
"No, he never was. There's still more to say, but can it wait a bit; I'm just not up for it right now?" I pleaded with John.
"Yea, sure. You've told me enough for now. " John replied.
"Thanks, Johnny." I smiled.
"Welcome, now Miss Lindsey please explain what made you pull away earlier?" John asked.
"There is a simple answer to your question, Mr. Winchester. To be frank I'm not sure I wish to give it though." I replied.
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because the answer means acknowledging something I'm sure I don't wish to." I answered.
"Scaredy Cat." John accused.
"Precisely." I returned.
Another three months came and went. Another three months of caring for the Winchester boys and their father.
As Baby Sam's birthday approached I started to think less of the Sam who had saved my life, of the Dean who had crawled into a bottle over the pain of losing me, of the father whom I'd never owned up to having or to never owned up to having me, of the impending apocalypse, of my friend Cas, and of the warring angels.
It all seemed so long ago and lately something that had happened in a dream.
As Baby Sam's birthday approached I started to think more of party favors, decorations, along with presents for the birthday boy, goody bags, games, and (all importantly) a cake.
"John, can you keep an eye on Sam for a little bit?" I asked John two days before Sam's birthday.
"What's up?" John asked.
"Nothing major. Dean and I just wanted to do some birthday shopping for Sammy." I explained.
"Oh, yea sure knock yourselves out." John replied, tossing me the keys to the Impala.
"Thanks." I said catching said keys.
"Yup, have fun." John called out, putting Baby Sam in his lap.
"Don't worry we will." I assured him.
"Bye Sammy, have fun with daddy!" Little Dean called to his brother.
"Bye-bye Linny. Bye-bye Dean." Baby Sam sang out.
"See you in a little bit punky." I called back.
"Be careful." John warned.
"Yup." I replied as I snapped the door shut.
"C'mon sweetie let's go shopping for Sammy." I said to Dean.
Dean ran to the Impala and yanked the driver's side door open.
He slid into the passenger's seat and eagerly waited for me.
Once I was in the Impala and had her started up; Dean snapped on the radio, fiddled with the dial, found a song, and began to sing with the radio.
For the record, this was a habit he would never grow out of.
Not being able to help myself I began to sing along with Dean.
Little Dean smiled, looked at me, and said, "You sing pretty, Linny."
"Thank you, Dean-darlin." I replied.
Dean and I sang the whole way to the store.
Once at said store, I let Dean go to the toy section to pick out presents, while I made my way to where the party favors, games, and decorations were.
I had decided to wait for Dean to pick out Sammy's birthday cake.
I picked out neutral "little boy" decorations with matching favors and traditional games for small children.
I went to find Dean in the toy section. I found my little guy among a dozen or so toys, looking distressed.
"What's wrong, baby?" I asked slightly worried.
"I can't decide which toy to get Sammy!" Dean wailed.
I smiled relieved and suggested, "Why don't you show me your top choices?"
"Okay, Linny." Dean sniffed perking up a little bit.
Dean showed me some army men, a book of stories, some playdough, and a set of matchbox racers.
"Those are all wonderful presents, I can see why you are having trouble. Tell you what Dean, I will buy all twelve and your top four can be from you. Daddy and I will split the remaining eight to give to Sammy, ok?" I told Dean.
"Really Linny?" Dean asked with big eyes.
"Really, my love." I replied.
"Yippy!" Dean cried as he ran for a cart to put everything in.
After we bought everything and were heading back to the motel; I allowed myself to think on the subject that John may not be happy about the added stuff.
Oh, Well.
After the children went to bed John and I went through the toys, party favors, and decorations. Dean told me we had to wait for his daddy for the cake.
"Dean's already decided which presents are from him, so you and I need to go through the remaining ones." I told John as we sat amid the mess.
"I can't believe you let him get so much." John playfully grumbled.
"It's for his brother, how could I say no?" I asked defensively.
John laughed and held his hands up at me in a gesture of surrender.
Sam's big day came, and both John and I were worried about not ordering a cake ahead of time. Little Dean was not worried and kept trying to assure us (his father and myself) that it would be ok.
The birthday boy insisted on ice cream, so we found a Baskin Robbins and there it was; an Ice Cream Cake with Teddy Bears on it.
Perfect for Sammy's second birthday.
"Told ya." Dean crowed at his father and me.
I rolled my eyes, Sammy giggled at his big brother, and John (actually, for a wonder) laughed.
Sam got a free ice cream cone for his birthday and Dean got one too for being an awesome big brother by insisting on the ice cream cake. I bought ice cream cones for John and me, turns out we both like rocky road.
Sam had an awesome birthday, his favorite gift seemed to be the army men from Dean.
Unfortunately, Bobby Singer was unable to attend the party, but he did let us use his house and the boys did get to play with the dog.
Three days after Sam's birthday, on the day we were supposed to be on the road again, there was a giant wind storm. I was not thrilled about traveling in that type of weather, but John was adamant.
John and I got the children loaded up, along with food and finally Sam's presents. I did a last-minute check and found Sammy's stuffed Lion from John.
John and the boys were waiting for me in the car; I ran out to join them and got smacked upside the head, but what I can only guess was a car hood.
Once again I awoke in an unfamiliar place.
This time it was not a haunted house or a motel room.
This time it was a parking lot of a truck stop or something like it.
I heard feet pounding in my direction and through the gooey haze of my brain feeling like it had been stuffed wrong way round back into my head; I heard someone, presumably the owner of the pounding feet, yelling something at me.
"Hey are you alright?" a fuzzy concern sounding male voice asked me.
"To be honest, I feel like I was hit by an ice cream truck." I replied.
"Well, you look like you been through something, alright. Be careful now. Let me help you." the now clear male voice said to me.
"I'll be ok, could you tell me where I'm at please?" I asked still feeling very off.
"Well Miss, you are in the parking lot of my business. Welcome to The Roadhouse." my new friend told me.
Holy Shit!
Bill Harville.
Ellen's late husband and Jo's daddy!
"I'm Bill Harville." my rescuer introduced himself.
"Pleasure to meet you, Bill. I'm Lindsey." I replied.
"C'mon Miss Lindsey let's get you into The Roadhouse, fed, and cleaned up." Bill instructed.
"Alright." I conceded.
Bill walked me into The Roadhouse and sat me down at the bar.
"Ellen!" he called.
"What?!" Ellen, a younger Ellen than I knew, yelled back walking up to us.
"Throw a steak and some fries together honey, this young lady needs our help." Bill smiled at his wife.
"Alright." Ellen replied quickly kissing her husband and headed off to do as he asked.
"Would you like something to drink?" a young voice next to me asked.
I turned to see that it was a little girl between the ages of nine and eleven years old who had asked me.
"Jo baby, why are you playing waitress?" Bill asked addressing the child.
Jo!?
And another Holy Shit!
"Cause Terra-Lynn quit and momma's busy." the cute blonde little cherub answered her father.
"Well, that does make a difference. I'll just let you get back to it is, shall I, honey?" Bill replied.
"Yes." Jo told her father.
I couldn't help, but giggle right before I said, "If it's not too much trouble miss, I'd love a soda pop."
"One soda pop coming at ya!" Jo replied and ran off to get my drink.
"She's cute." I told Bill.
"Thanks." Bill replied.
In record time both mother and daughter were back with food and drink in hand. I was stopped, only once by Ellen, during my meal to be cleaned and bandaged.
I told Ellen, "Thank you.", before continuing to bolt down my food.
Ellen had given me a quick, "You're welcome, hun." before she was off again attending to customers.
I was finishing up my meal when I heard a very familiar voice ask, "Lindsey?"
I turned, saw him, and replied, "Hey Johnny."
John walked over to me and ran his fingers through my hair. I leaned into his caress with no other thought on my mind than being glad to see him.
"Except for the clothes, a few cuts, and bruises, you look exactly the same as I saw you five years ago." John murmured.
"Five years?" I asked my voice slightly shaking.
"Yea, are you alright?" John asked me.
"I will be. How are the boys? I inquiringly replied.
"They're ok. Sammy asked for you for about six months after you disappeared and Dean...well Dean didn't ask, but I know he has missed you." John told me.
I sighed, rested my head against John, and said, "For me, it only happened a few hours ago."
"You still wanna travel with us?" John asked gruffly.
"Of course, you idiot." I replied, feeling hurt.
John smiled, plunked some money down on the counter for the Harvilles, and led me by the hand out to the Impala
Once out at the Impala John opened the door for me, I climbed into the car, put on my seat belt, and watched John, once again, close my door for me.
Chivalry is not dead, just dormant!
It was a good five-hour drive before we reached the motel where the boys were; along the way, I scolded John for leaving them alone, had half a pack of cigarettes (thank you John), and took a longish nap.
John woke me up when we got to the motel where Sam and Dean were waiting for their father.
I took a deep breath, pushed my hair out of my eyes, and unbuckled my seat belt. I turned to open my door and there was John once more opening it for me.
"Thank you, Johnny." I softly laughed climbing out of the car.
"More than welcome, Linds." John replied as he closed the car door.
John, then, grabbed my hand once more and lead me to the motel room where the boys were. It was John who opened the door, put our things down inside, and closed it again.
"Boys! I'm back!" John called out.
The bathroom door flew open and out of it came running a little boy of bout seven or eight years of age with sandy brown hair.
"Hey there Sammy!" John greeted.
"Hi, Dad, who's this?" Sam replied inquiringly.
"Well son, you probably don't remember, but this is Lindsey. When you were really little she was with us for nearly a year and took care of the two of you; when I had to go." John explained.
"You used to call me, Linny." I recalled fondly.
"Did you tell me about the Boogeyman once?" Sam asked me.
"Yea, I did. But Sam you were three months shy of your second birthday when that happened!" I replied a little shocked.
"Barely remember it, but Dean tells awesome stories about you." Sam replied.
"He does? Wow, I'm flattered." I said turning to look at John.
"Where is your brother, buddy?" John asked his son.
"Ummm, he's...ummm." Sam said trying to think of a good cover for his big brother.
"Out?" I supplied.
"It's ok, Sam. Don't bother trying to cover for him, I get it." John told Sam tiredly.
Sam hung his head and I can only guess that he felt like he had failed Dean somehow or other.
"Want to get a soda with me Sam?" I asked.
"Ok." Sam replied.
"We'll be right back, Johnny." I told Sam's daddy.
John walked over to a chair, plunked his butt down in it, looked up at us, gave us a tired smile, and nodded.
Sam and I exited the motel room and made our way to the vending machine.
"Dad's gonna hand Dean his ass, huh?" Sam asked me.
"He's probably going to try Sam. Don't worry though I'll head John off at the pass." I reassured Sam.
"I like Sam, it sounds more grown-up than Sammy." my young companion confided.
I smiled, sometimes it was so easy to forget that this little boy was a younger version of my best friend (who just happened to be three years older than myself).
We came to the vending machine and I invited Sam to choose whichever one he wanted. Doing so earned me a smile that made it easy to see the gentle, thoughtful, clever boy Sam really was and the man I knew in another time who was just the same (although maybe a little darker).
Sam chose a cream soda and I filed that away to remember for later, if there was a later, with the adult Sam.
I put in more change and chose a coke for myself.
"Sam, what the heck are you doing?" an agitated voice asked from behind us.
"Getting a soda, Dean and dad's back." Sam answered turning to face his brother.
"Hey there, handsome. Want a soda?" I asked, turning to say hello to an eleven or twelve-year-old Dean Winchester.
"Linny?" Dean asked.
"Mmmhhmm," I confirmed.
Dean regarded me warily but chose a coke from the machine.
The three of us made our way back to the motel room. Upon reaching it the door was opened for us by John.
The man must have thought we had run off to Timbuktu or something.
The boys and I entered the motel room.
John, as predicted, tried to go off on Dean, and, as promised, I cut John off at the beginning of his tirade at his son.
Over the next three months, the four of us got comfortable with each other again.
The boys were now also older and could handle being on their own for a little bit.
But while John was gone for a week or two at a time during jobs; I, on the other hand, was gone for no longer than three days, left the boys plenty of money, made sure there was food and called to check on them once for every night I was gone.
One evening after a particularly annoying ghost bust I called to check on the boys.
"RRRRR!"
"RRRRR!"
"Hello?" came Sam's voice from the other end of the phone.
"Hey Sam, it's Lindsey. I'm just calling to check on you and Dean. Is everything ok, sweetie?" I asked Sam.
"Hey Lindsey, we're ok. Dean went to get pizza for our dinner." Sam replied, but his voice sounded funny.
"Well, that is what I left the cash for, but Sammy honey the pizza joint isn't more than two blocks away. Why'd you sound worried?"I asked him.
"Linny, I think something happened to Dean. He went to get the pizza over two hours ago and hasn't come back." Sam broke down.
"Ok, Sam just sit tight and I'll be there soon." I told him.
"Alright, hurry though Linny." Sam replied by way of goodbye.
It honestly frightened me to hear Sam so vulnerable and falling back on calling me Linny. I threw together what little I had and swung my motel room door wide open. Lucky me John was getting ready to knock.
"Something's wrong, Johnny. We need to get back to the boys now." I said by way of greeting.
"What happened?" John demanded.
"Dean is missing." I informed him.
"Shit!" John swore.
Gee, dude ya think!
Both John and I got into the car, my things being flung in the backseat, and we took off like a couple of bats outta hell (seat belts forgotten and all).
Three hours later we were with Sam again, the kid ended up gabbling wild apologies to his father and looked truly wigged out about his brother.
"Sam, it's ok. Knock it off! We need to focus on finding Dean!" John told his young son.
"Sam, why don't you pack up you and Dean's things ok." I suggested.
"Ok, Linny." the seven-year-old agreed.
"Where the hell is that kid? He knows better!" John growled.
"Yes, he does. Which probably means he's in real trouble, Johnny." I said softly, making sure John kept things in perspective.
Half an hour later the car was packed and the three of us were in it looking for Dean.
"You think this has anything to do with your angels?" John asked me.
"No, not yet." I replied without thinking.
"Not yet?" John asked.
"Later." I told him.
"If it turns out that yellow eyes has my son I'll..." John trailed off.
"I doubt it's the yellow-eyed demon either." I told John.
Turns out I was right, it was neither angels nor yellow-eyed demons. What it was, was a bunch of bored little gnomes who wanted to keep Dean as a pet. Naturally, John, Sam, myself, and, especially, Dean had a problem with this. In the end, it was Sammy who sacrificed his Gameboy in exchange for his adored older brother.
After that, we finally picked up that pizza.
Another three months saw me with the Winchesters and this time Christmas was coming up.
I found Dean sitting on the floor in front of the TV watching cartoons.
Well, at least it wasn't Dr. Sexy M.D.
"So what exactly is it you want for Christmas, mister?" I asked him.
"I don't know." Dean grumbled at me.
"Not getting abducted by gnomes would probably be good." I teased him.
"Will you take me shopping again for Sammy?" Dean abruptly asked me.
"Of course Dean, if you want me too." I replied taken aback.
"For dad too?" Dean requested.
"Yes, for dad too, baby." I responded.
"Are you gonna go away again?" Dean demanded.
"I don't know, Dean. {Here I slid down to the floor and pulled him into my arms} I'll tell you this though, even if I do I will always come back to you." I told him.
"You promise? No matter what?" Dean asked, sounding heartbreakingly young.
"I promise, no matter what." I whispered holding Dean close.
"Okay, then can I have a camera for Christmas?" Dean asked.
I laughed; typical Dean.
I wondered what he'd tell Sam and John it was he wanted for Christmas.
Later that week as promised Sam and John were, once again, left to hang out together while I took Dean shopping.
To be honest, I started to wonder why my funds never seemed to run dry, but I didn't dare look into it.
Once more Dean and I were at the mall together.
Once more I would pick up the tab for the presents, except this time it would not just be for Sam.
Instead of heading straight for the toy department as he had done previous, Dean went to the electronic section.
"I want to get Sam a new Gameboy and some games." Dean told me.
"Rock out, hun." I told him.
Dean picked out a brand-new Gameboy Advanced (in color, no less); choosing a royal blue one for his little brother, and about ten video game cartridges to go with it.
When he showed me his selections I saw the look of doubt in his eyes and I knew he was worried about the cost.
It only took the simple gesture of grabbing a large pack of double AAs to banish that doubt and make the sunshine reappear.
"What about John? What do you wanna get him?" I asked.
We left the electronics department for men's wear.
In minutes Dean put into the cart a new leather jacket and a gold watch. He then proceeded to drag me to the sporting goods section, where he picked out a new hunting knife for his daddy.
"Do you think dad will like them?" Dean asked me.
"I think he'll love them, sweetie." I replied.
While I was paying for the Christmas presents it struck me that we should be doing this all together.
I gave my wallet to Dean and said to him, "Here Dean use whatever cash is in there to pay the balance. I'm gonna call your dad and Sammy. Flag me down if you need more money."
"Um, alright Lindsey." Dean replied.
"Good boy!" I praised him and headed to the pay phone.
I put my quarter into the payphone, once found, and dialed the number of our motel room.
"RRRRR!"
"RRRRR!"
"RRRRR!"
"Hello?" John's gruff voice asked.
"Hey it's me, get Sam and yourself together. Dean and I will be there shortly to pick you two up." I responded.
"Alright, what's up?" John inquired.
"Family holiday time." I told him and hung up.
Dean came over to me with the cart smiling.
"So, I'm guessing we had enough?" I smiled at him.
"Yup, and then some." Dean grinned back at me.
"Okay, come on. We're gonna get Sam and John, so we can do this right!" I told him.
"Awesome!" Dean exclaimed.
We picked the others up, put Dean's presents in the trunk (kinda), and the four of us went back to the mall.
Dean hung out with his dad while I took Sam present shopping.
To avoid the same doubt I had encountered with Dean I told Sam just to pick out whatever he wanted for his brother and father.
"Don't even think about looking at the price tag." I told him.
Thankfully, the kid listened.
The first section of the store we went to was the book section, where Sam proceeded to pick up every favorite comic of his brothers. Next, Sam dragged me off to the video department and chose two teenage mutant ninja turtle VHSs (talk about a blast from the past), and finally, Sam made sure that his brother got Christmas chocolates from the candy section of the store.
"Nice choices, Sam. Dean will love them." I praised Sam.
"I hope so." Sam replied.
"I know it, 'cause it's from you." I told him.
For John, Sam took me back to the book section where he picked out five mystery novels for his father. Then I got hauled to the toy department where Sam found a Rubrics cube for his dad.
I giggled at the blast from the past gift.
John should absolutely love it!
Once again I was at the checkout stand paying for the purchases and didn't bat an eyelash once when the final total was wrung up.
Everything was bagged and I made Sam carry his presents to the car before we went to find Dean and John.
"Okay, you two are on your own for a little bit while your dad and I Christmas shop for you two. Here is some cash, have a good time. We will come to find you in a little while." I informed the boys when the four of us were back together.
"Okay, Lindsey." Sam replied.
"See you guys later!" Dean said and the two of them took off.
I smiled, shook my head, and took John off to do some present shopping for the boys.
When John and I had finished our shopping we found the boys in the arcade.
Typical boy thing to do, which these two boys rarely got to do!
One the way back we got a small tree for the motel room, once back we set it up, and then decorated it. The boys were pleasantly surprised by the ornaments their father and I had bought. The next few days found us all wrapping Christmas presents trying to peek at what the others had gotten us.
On Christmas Eve I went and got the remainder of our Christmas dinner. A large snowstorm had picked up and I was only able to get half the food in the motel when I was yanked from John and his sons once again.
What is it with me and storms!
This time I landed in a very familiar place, as familiar to me as breathing. Heaven's Gate, my grandparent's ranch. Just on the ridge where I use to love to ride as a young girl and dreamed of having an adventure or two.
The view was just as breathtaking as I remembered it.
God, what I would give to be able to share this with Dean!
"So, it's Dean you're thinking of then and not his sire John?" an unfamiliar voice asked me.
I turned around to see a man with dark good looks and flashing eyes. At once I knew he was an angel, more than this I knew he was also the same angel who had erased Castiel's memory of me telling him the truth about Sam and Dean being vessels.
"You're the Archangel Micheal. You're the one who's been jumping me around and brought me to the Winchesters." I stated looking at him.
"You're correct on all accounts, Rebecca." the angel said to me.
He gave me a long look as if he truly expected an answer to his question about Dean and John. I sighed. Well, he's nothing like Cas that's for sure.
"I died and came back from Heaven itself, with Dean being the chief reason for both. So yea, I'm obviously madly in love with Dean Winchester." I said to him.
"But when you were faced with his sire your heart did not exactly remain true and that disturbed you." Micheal observed.
"Yes, I know. I was also beginning to forget who I truly belong with." I admitted.
"It was a test to see if you were strong enough." the Archangel told me.
"Strong enough for what?!" I demanded indignantly.
"To stop the apocalypse." Micheal replied, oh so nonchalantly.
"I beg your pardon?!" I shrieked.
"Granted. I want you to help the Winchesters stop the impending apocalypse. By whatever means necessary." Micheal told me.
"Okay, someone's been hanging out in the clouds too long. There is no way I can do what you want." I informed the Archangel.
Is he Loony?!
There is absolutely no way I can go against Heaven and Hell and win!
"I think you can, it is why I brought you here in the first place. You see Rebecca, I do not want this war with my baby brother any more than he does." Micheal told me.
(He actually sounded sad.)
"If neither of you wants to do this then just don't fight and call the whole thing off. No sibling battle royale. No apocalypse. Everyone goes home happy, particularly the humans whose home you two are using as an arena." I reasoned.
"I wish we could do as you suggest, but things have gone too far for that. Lucifer will never accept me not joining him and I can't be part of what he wants to do. So as a third option I chose you to champion this cause and hopefully change its outcome." Micheal told me.
"Why me? No offense to your judgment and all. I'm flattered truly I am, but I can barely get the guys to listen to me when it does count. I'm not really anybody special." I told him feeling very confused.
"You got John Winchester to listen to you and Dean gets his stubbornness from his sire. You've effected changes during the time you've been with the Winchester boys. You've made an impact and shown yourself to be a formidable opponent to my siblings. Do not discount yourself or what you are capable of Rebecca because thus far you have proved to everyone save the woman you see in the mirror that you are indeed very special." Micheal reminded.
Talk about the pep talk of the century!
"I still don't know how it will be enough to stop Lucifer or the apocalypse." I responded.
"It may not be, Micheal conceded, but then added, but then again it may."
I took a deep breath and nodded, accepting what the Archangel was asking me to do. Even if I failed, I at least had to attempt to succeed.
I looked around at Heaven's Gate and then turned my eyes toward the house; where mother, pop, and ma-maw were having breakfast right then.
I could tell Micheal no, forget all about Sam, Dean, Cas, Jo, Ellen, and Dad. Go back to my old life with Kyle, college, and strip dancing, on the side.
I wouldn't though I loved Dean and I had just gotten my daddy, if I wanted to keep them both I'd have to stick around and fight.
"Alright, Micheal. I'm in no way promising I'll succeed. I'll try to do what you want somehow." I told the Highest Angel of the Lord.
"Thank you. We will meet again, Rebecca." Micheal told me.
"I hope so." I replied.
The blinding white light ensued and I was sitting on a front porch someplace.
"Hello, honey." I heard John say.
"John!" I cried and jumped up.
A moment later I was in his arms and we walked over to an old tree swing. I sat down on it and told John everything; about the angels, about the apocalypse, about me, and most importantly about his sons, everything I knew I told him.
John, to his credit, listened and softly pushed the swing the whole time I spoke not interrupting once.
"So my boys grow up to be heroes." John finally said.
"Yea, they really do." I replied.
"Well, then you best get back to them and keep an eye on them for me honey." John told me stopping the swing.
"Alright, Johnny whatever you want." I replied climbing off the swing.
"Yea." John said as he pulled me into his arms.
John Winchester and I kissed.
Whoa, that is all I gotta say about that.
We broke apart and I felt the nausea and the dizziness I had at the beginning of all this. I fainted, again, (another thing I seem to be really good at) that I'm almost certain of.
When I opened my eyes next Sam, Dean, and I were in a (nicer than usual) motel room.
I sat up and watched the guys. Dean appeared to be taking care of some groceries for our dinner and Sam looked like he was straightening things up.
Both of these things are usually my jobs.
Suddenly Cas appeared.
"Cas!" I cried out immediately noticing something was wrong with my angel friend.
Both the guys caught him and we all noticed the blood coming from Castiel's nose.
Oh, that is so not good!
Cas mumbled something about being surprised and then passed out.
The guys put him on the bed opposite me.
I watched wondering how I could ever agree to what Micheal wanted when my only angel backup was so depleted.
I've gotta be crazy as a loon for agreeing to this!
"Well, I could use that drink now." Dean said out of breath.
"Yea." Sam agreed wholeheartedly.
Dean poured two glasses; one for his brother and one for himself.
Seriously what is with these two when it comes to alcohol and offering a lady a drink?!
"This is it." Dean said.
"This is what?" Sam asked confused taking a drink.
"Team Freewill; one ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there. Awesome." Dean replied.
"That's not funny." Sam said appalled.
"I'm not laughing." Dean told his brother.
"Wait just a damn minute here, did I suddenly become chopped liver or something?!" I demanded indignantly sliding my butt off the bed.
Both Winchesters looked at me; Sam smiled and Dean kind of frowned.
Castiel on the other hand grumbled in his unconscious state.
"Look you two, I did not just get my ass bounced all over your past to not be a part of this, so one of you better pour me a goddamn drink. Now rethink the Team roster cause I ain't the only one 'ur leaving out." I fumed at them
.
Sam poured me a glass of booze while I checked over Castiel to make sure that he was alright. He seemed to be and I was more than aware of how acutely both guys were watching me.
There was a knock at our door, Sam opened it and no one was there.
"Over here bright eyes." a familiar, although unwelcome voice said.
"What do you want Gabriel, we've had a really long day and so not up for your bullshit." I informed him.
"Just a delivery boy this time kitten." Gabriel replied.
"So deliver and get out." Sam told him.
Gabriel gave me a title and some cars keys then vanished.
I, seriously, am starting to hate when angels do that.
I read the title, looked at the keys, and smiled.
"John's truck." I told the boys.
32