Heavy!
(Chapter Twenty-Three)
"Noo!" I screamed as Cas grabbed my arm and flashed me away.
"Dean! Sam!" I screamed into the space and the place Cas had taken me.
Singer Salvage.
Home, with my dad.
I screamed again, this time an angry, anguished animal cry with no words, and hit my knees in my daddy's salvage yard.
"What the hell is going on out here?!" Bobby, my dad demanded.
"Rebecca is upset." Cas replied.
"I can goddamn see that ya winged idjit." Bobby shot back, wheeling himself over to us.
"Take. Me. Back. Now!" I commanded Cas.
"I cannot do that, Rebecca." Cas quietly told me.
"The Hell you can't!" I yelled at him.
"Hold it a damn minute and tell me what's going on." Bobby intervened.
"We were attacked by a pack of hunters! We were fighting them off when one of them stabbed Sam and another one shot Dean! Then this asshole showed up, grabbed me, and I don't know!" I told him trying not to break down.
"You saved my daughter, but left them boys behind?" Bobby asked Cas.
"I did." Cas agreed.
"Thank you, Cas." Bobby told our angel gratefully.
"What the fuck do you mean, "Thank You!" Bobby?! He left Sam and Dean at the hands of those hunters who were, wolf-packing us and out for blood. For all, we know Sam and Dean could be dead!" I raged at my father, hauling myself to my feet.
"I know that darlin, but he was able to git you out and for that I'm grateful." Bobby told me, trying to calm me down.
"So what?! He got me out big fucking deal, if I had stayed I would have been able to help Sam and Dean!" I stormed at my dad.
"Rebecca, if I had left you there with Sam and Dean you would have died, again, with them whether you were able to assist them or not." Cas told me patiently.
"And that matters why?! At least I would have gone down fighting next to the love of my life!" I whipped my head around and yelled at Cas.
"It would matter a whole goddamn lot to me, little girl! You're my daughter and I ain't ready to let you go again, not now that I got ya." Bobby growled at me.
That took all the fight outta me.
Damn parents, why do they gotta go and say shit like that and make you feel so goddamned loved?!
"I would have been upset if we lost you, again, to Rebecca. You are my family as well." Cas told me.
First my dad, now my angel!
Christ in pajamas!
Why can't they just let me be pissed off as blue fuck?!
"I love you two, too." I said with a sigh.
"C'mon darlin, let's go inside and figure out what our next move is." Dad suggested.
"Alright, daddy. C'mon Cas." I replied to my father and held out my hand for Castiel's.
Cas looked at my hand and gave me a confused frown.
"Cas, you've held my hand before. Ya think it's gonna bite'cha all of a sudden or something?" I questioningly teased.
"No, hands cannot bite Rebecca." Cas replied.
"Then what's the problem, Mister Angel?" I asked somewhat confused.
"You are angry with me, but you are still offering me your love and your hand." Cas replied.
"Castiel, just because I may get mad atcha' doesn't in any way mean I'll ever stop loving you. I'm not really mad at you Cas. I'm just really scared for Sam and Dean." I explained to him.
"Alright." Cas replied and finally, took my hand.
"You two comin or are we gonna keep havin a moment here?" my dad cracked.
"Lead the way, Ironsides." I flung back, using one of Dean's jokes.
"Watch it, little girl. You're not too big to git turned over my knee, ya know." Dad chuckled in return.
"Only if you can catch me first, daddy." I laughed at him.
Cas looked at the two of us, kept a hold of my hand, and smiled.
"What?" Dad asked, noticing Cas's smile, as we made our way to the house.
"You and Rebecca are very much alike." Cas stated.
"How do ya figure that one?" Dad asked, opening the front door.
"Your speech is similar, you both have tempers; especially when angry or scared. Rebecca has your smile, and you are both too stubborn for your own good." Cas explained to him.
"No argument with that last one, Cas." I giggled.
Once in the house, Cas and I sat in the window seat.
As I sat there I looked over at my daddy and thought about what Cas had said.
I realized that he was right on all counts. Even without growing up having him in my life, I had inherited his temper, speech, stubbornness, and his smile.
My other physical features were all Mother's.
I may have gotten the Lindsey looks, but I got the Singer personality in spades.
Half of me, truly now, felt like Bobby and that brought no small amount of pleasure to me.
"Ya know, I think I got your talent for sarcasm as well." I told my father with a grin.
"Lord, help us all." Dad intoned accompanied by a bark of laughter.
My grin turned into a full-on smile. I no longer wished my life had ended, again, with Dean.
My smile quickly vanished at the thought of Dean.
Oh God, please no! Please, please let him and Sam escaped.
Let my phone ring any second and his worried, but alive, voice be on the other end.
Lord, please I beg you, hear my prayer!
"What is it honey?" Dad asked me gently, noticing my rapid change of demeanor, concern laced his voice.
"We need to find out what happened to our boys. I need to know if they're alive or dead. I need to. I love you both so much, but my days are built and wrapped up in both of them. Not just Dean." I said softly.
"I know, sweetheart. Anybody with half a brain can see how much you love Dean. How much you and Sam need each other, if only to keep the other sane from Dean." my dad replied.
"Dean, himself cannot seem to." Cas remarked.
"My point exactly." Daddy cracked.
"Daaaad. Don't tease Cas, he's got issues with humor." I scolded my father playfully.
"Sorry, Cas." Dad grinned.
"You are forgiven, Bobby." Cas returned with a ghost of a smile.
"Smart-ass, Angel." Dad grumbled.
I couldn't help but giggle at the two of them.
God, if you're listening; Thank you for my daddy and Castiel.
Also if they are in Heaven with you please, please watch over my Dean and Sam for me.
I love them a whole lot.
"Cas, I need you to go back to where you yanked me from and find out if the boys are..." I told Cas trailing off.
"Of course Rebecca. I shall be back presently." Cas replied and vanished.
"It'll be alright, honey. Our angel will find out one way or the other what happened to them, boys." Daddy said trying to comfort me.
"I know he will, Daddy. I'm just not so sure I'll like the answer he comes back with." I replied.
"I know baby. I'm worried too." Dad said with a worried sigh.
"Daddy, if Cas comes back and tells us that..." I started to say when "our angel" popped back in.
"I'm back." Cas said interrupting me.
"We can see that, ya idjit. Well?" Dad asked.
"I'm sorry Rebecca, Bobby. Sam and Dean did not survive the hunters' attack." Cas said apologetically in a soft tone of voice.
"God-damn you, Cas! Why?!" I cried, all my hurt, frustration, and anger returning.
"I am sorry, Rebecca." Cas repeated.
It was all I could do to sob and cry. My voice felt stuck in my throat, it had tightened, and I was barely able to swallow. Hot tears rolled down my face and I couldn't bring myself to look at either Cas or my father.
"K'mere little girl." my dad said to me, in a soft thick gruff voice.
I whimpered and tried to leave the window seat to go to my dad, but what strength I had was too wrapped up in grief to move.
Cas walked over to me (still sitting in the window seat), scooped me up into his arms, sat back down in the window seat (with me still in his arms), and wrapped his arms tight around me; holding me close. Trying his hardest to comfort me and stop the pain I was in.
"Damn." my dad said softly.
It was the last thing I heard anyone say for the next six to eight hours or so.
Somewhere between Cas holding me in his arms, the sobs, the crying, and after hearing that one word from my dad; I fell asleep.
Exhaustion, heartache, pain, and grief will do that to a person.
I woke up to the sun shining on my face and I wished I could throw a very large bucket of water at it. I've probably mentioned before that I am not a morning person.
Since there was no going back to sleep, I sat up and stretched. I was in a bed, in one of the bedrooms, in my dad's house.
Not in his window seat in his living room, where I always sleep.
How the heck did I get here?!
I looked around the room and vaguely wondered if my dad's late wife, Karen, had decorated it.
It turned out that Cas (cause dad's in a wheelchair and can't get up here) carried me upstairs to what, after that, became my bedroom.
I swung my legs out from under the covers, my feet hit the floor, and I stood up.
I quickly made the bed I had been sleeping in, walked over to the bedroom door, opened it, and left the bedroom. I walked down the hall and quickly found the stairs.
I smelled coffee, so I sped-stepped down the stairs, made my way through the hallway, and straight into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.
The very first cup of coffee I had ever had made by my daddy.
"Morning, sweetheart" my dad greeted me.
"Morning, daddy." I replied with a sleepy smile, as I made my way to the coffee pot.
"Ya, feelin any better this morning?" Dad asked me, watching me pour myself a cup of coffee.
I added milk and sugar to my cup of coffee as I thought about my father's question.
"Bout the same 'cept for, I think I'm pretty much done crying and sobbing." I replied.
"Yea, well that may come in "waves and storms" for a bit, honey." Dad told me.
"Is that what happened the first time you lost Karen?" I asked very softly.
"Yea, that and just being plain pissed off with anybody or thing that crossed my path." Dad replied honestly.
"I'm sorry, Daddy." I said looking into my coffee cup.
"For what, darlin?" Dad asked.
"Karen." I replied.
"No reason for you to be sorry, Becca. I get now that my two girls were trying to protect my stubborn ass." Dad said.
"She didn't want you to have to, any more than I did. So when she asked me I didn't think about it, I just did it." I told him.
"I know, baby." Dad replied thickly.
"I'm gonna take off tomorrow, dad. There is something I need to go get." I told my father after talking a few more drinks of coffee.
"And where is it you think ya gotta go, little girl?" Dad demanded in a slightly suspicious worried tone of voice.
"Norman, Oklahoma." I told him trying not to roll my eyes at the tone of his voice.
"What the Hell is in Norman that you need to git?" Dad questioningly groused.
"My truck." I replied.
"The one John left you. Why not go pick up the Impala instead?" Dad asked watching me with a confused frown.
"I thought about it, but I can't sit in Baby and drive 'er without being swamped with images of the boys." I answered.
Dad's eyes filled with his own pain and loss. He took a large gulp of his coffee, looked at me, and nodded his understanding.
"Sam and Dean are in Heaven." Cas's voice suddenly informed us.
"One of these days I'm gonna tie a bell around his neck." Dad grumbled at me.
I giggled.
Cas pulled his "constipated bulldog" face and looked like he was trying to figure out exactly why he would even allow a bell to be tired around his neck.
"Never mind, Cas." I smiled.
"Dean asked if I got you out in time and apparently if I hadn't he said he would tear Heaven apart looking for you." Cas told me.
"I'm guessin you told him, not to worry. That yes, you had gotten me out in time or something to that effect." I replied dryly.
"Yes, Rebecca." Cas replied in easy agreement.
"Good. Well, you do whatever you need to do concerning Heaven, Cas. Just do me the favor of leaving me all the Hell out of it, I don't wanna know." I informed Cas.
"If that is what you wish, Rebecca." Cas replied with an air of confusion.
"You got it, Angel." I smiled finishing off my first cup of coffee.
"Do you not wish to know as well, Bobby?" Cas asked Dad.
"No. If ya wanna tell me what those boys are up to I'll listen, Cas." Dad replied.
"Very well." Cas said.
"Well, I'm glad you two have that settled. Now excuse me, but I gonna go grab a shower, get dressed, and call Momma." I told my dad and Cas.
"You found a way to contact your Mother, Rebecca?" Cas asked me.
"No, Cas. Momma is what I call Ellen. Mother is just still Mother." I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and shook my head.
"Ellen'll be glad ta hear from ya. She 'n Jo were mighty surprised when I told 'em you were back." Dad said with a smile.
"Yep. Be back down in a bit." I returned, put my coffee cup in the sink, and walked out of the kitchen.
I went back down through the hallway turned at the staircase, mounted the stairs, climbed back up them, came to the top, and was back in the upstairs hallway. I made my way through the hallway back to the bedroom I had woken up in. I reached the bedroom door, opened it, went in, closed said door behind me, walked over to the bed I had woken up in, lay down upon it, buried my head in the pillow, and burst into tears.
Shit!
I thought I was done with all this Boo-Hooing, Bullshit!
God damn it, Beck!
Stop being such a crybaby!
I must have fallen asleep crying so hard.
I really don't remember, what I do remember is waking up and knowing that it was later in the day, also that I felt like shit.
Thankfully, my new bedroom had a private bathroom attached to it.
I got off the bed and made my way over to the slightly open bathroom door, pushed it open the rest of the way, and looked around my new bathroom.
It was perfect.
I'm absolutely convinced that my late stepmother decorated "my" bedroom and was the one to decorate "my" adjoining bathroom as well.
The bathroom door itself is white and from the outside, the bedroom side looks like no more than a water closet.
Looks are most definitely deceiving though when it comes to this bathroom.
Shall I describe my beautiful bathroom to you?
You walk in the door, expecting a small little area to clean up in, and run into more floor space than any woman has the right to dream about in her bathroom.
Directly ahead of you is an old-fashioned silhouette dressing screen in front of a large window alcove with sheerish curtains. To the right of the old-fashioned silhouette dressing screen, from the door, is a large walk-in shower. Almost directly in front in the opposite corner of the walk-in show is a diagonal facing huge clawfoot tub.
Nearly directly to the left of my huge clawfoot tub is the toilet and to the left of it, is my amazing wash vanity.
After I fully admired all the wonderful attributes of my bathroom, which I have just described to you, I stepped behind the dressing screen into my dressing area and shed my clothes.
Once I was ready for my shower I left the dressing area, walked to the large walk-in shower, opened its door, leaned forward, and turned it on. I fiddled with the hot and cold knobs until I had gotten the temperature of the water just perfect.
When the water was perfect I stepped, fully, into the shower, closed the door, and stepped under the spray. I found body wash, shampoo, and conditioner on the shower's small built-in shelf. I took the shampoo from the shelf, popped it open, and squeezed the right amount into my hand. I closed the bottle, returned it to the shelf, and washed my hair. After I finished washing my hair. I used the body wash, put it back next to the shampoo, rinsed off and stepped out of the shower.
"You forgot a towel and your clothes, Rebecca." Cas said standing in the middle of my bathroom surprising the hell out of me.
"Holy Hannah!, I squawked, Cas, you scared the daylights outta me!"
"Who is Hannah and why is she holy? I have never heard of her before." Cas asked me.
"It's just an expression. Can you hand me a towel, please? I'm dripping all over the place." I requested in return.
"You should not be ashamed of your form, Rebecca. You are lovely." Cas replied.
"Thank you, I am also sopping wet." I told him pointedly.
"Sorry, here is your towel Rebecca." Cas apologized and handed me a fluffy pink (my favorite color) towel, finally.
I took the towel from Cas, dried myself off a little with it, and wrapped it around my body.
"So, is there a reason, you just had to pop in the bathroom with me instead of waiting." I asked.
"Bobby asked me to check on you. Apparently, you have been up here longer than was previously mentioned." Cas replied.
"And the reason you couldn't wait for me to dry off and get dressed would be?" I teased.
"I just focused on you. I did not know that you were just getting out of the shower." Cas explained.
"Oh, that makes sense." I replied.
"Would you like me to leave?" Cas asked.
"Your choice. Either way, I need to dry off, get my clothes, and get dressed." I told him.
"Would you like your pink dress?" Cas asked me.
"Yes, please. If you wouldn't mind getting it for me." I answered.
"Alright, Rebecca. I will be right back." Cas agreed.
"I'll be here." I chuckled.
I dried my body off a bit more while I waited for Cas to return. I took the towel completely off and used it to dry my hair.
Shoot! I realized I forgot to ask him to grab underwear.
Oh well, he'd probably get it wrong or give me a funny look anyhow if I had remembered.
I wonder where Cas got the idea that I"m ashamed of my body?
I mean hell, I used to strip dance for extra cash.
Sam, Dean, Dad, and Cas, himself, have all seen me naked without me having an issue about it.
"I have your pink dress, Rebecca." Cas informed me popping back in.
"Thanks, hun." I replied.
"I also brought you, your underthings. I thought that you may need them." Cas continued.
"Wow. Thanks, Cas. You're right, by the way, underthings are generally called for with a dress." I smiled gratefully.
"I was not sure which bra you would need, so I grabbed both your white ones." Cas blushed a little.
Silly Angel!
He's perfectly fine with me standing there completely naked, but he mentions the word "bra" and he blushes.
Too funny.
"You did fine, Cas. But for future reference, the white strapless goes with my pink dress." I giggled.
"I will remember, Rebecca." Cas told me.
"I know, hon." I smiled.
I took my underthings from him and put them on.
"Hold my pink baby doll dress open, will ya Cas?" I requested.
Cas did as I asked of him.
I took a couple steps toward him and then stepped into my dress.
Cas helped me put it on the rest of the way and I was dressed.
"You look lovely in that dress, Rebecca." Cas complimented me.
"Aw, Cas you are such a doll." I replied.
"I am an Angel." Cas reminded me looking slightly confused.
"That too." I chuckled.
Cas and I left my bathroom, went through my bedroom, and out my bedroom door.
I don't think our angel is used to walking so much, he-he.
Once in the hallway, I reached out and took his hand in mine. He probably gave me a confused look, but I didn't turn to check and he didn't let go of my hand or pull away.
We walked down the hall together, reached the stairs, and, still holding hands, we went downstairs.
Near the bottom of the stairs, I heard voices.
My dad, apparently, had company.
"She'll be alright, eventually, Bobby." a familiar female voice said.
"I know it. But that don't mean I wanted her to have ta go through this, Ellen." Dad replied.
"I know, hon. Any ideas as to what she was planning to call me about?" Ellen asked with a sad sigh.
"A lift to Norman, Oklahoma. I hope." dad guessed.
"What's in Norman?" Ellen asked.
"John's Truck. Turns out Cas slung shot himself, the boys, and Becca into the past. Didn't work quite the way he had planned though. He and the boys went in the planned direction, but Becca didn't. She met John and the boys as little ones. I guess she and John became close, cause he left her the truck ta her." Dad explained sharing what little he'd gotten outta Dean, Sam, and me.
"Rebecca. Is it not impolite to eavesdrop?" Cas asked me.
"Extremely, but just at the moment Cas. I really don't care. Besides don't Angels ever eavesdrop?" I replied without looking at him.
"Constantly." Cas replied with an amused tone in his voice.
I turned to look at him. I saw the same sideways smile on his face that I had seen the first time he'd ever brought me here. I had a feeling that at that moment, Cas was showing off his seldom used, seen, or even known sense of humor.
"You're teasing me, again." I accused with a smile.
"Guilty." Cas grinned back.
"To quote dad: Smart-Ass Angel!" I giggled.
Cas and I came down the last of the stairs, walked down the hallway, and joined my "parents" in the kitchen.
"Hey there, Momma." I greeted Ellen.
"You really know how to worry your daddy, little girl." Ellen told me.
"Sorry, dad. I fell asleep again and just now got done with my shower." I apologized to my dad.
"It's ok hunny. Thought it might be something like that so I called up Ellen here, for ya." Dad responded.
"So I see. Thanks." I replied.
"So what did you need me for, sweetie?" Ellen asked.
"Well, I was kinda hoping Jo would be with you. How is she? Where is she?" I asked.
"I'm right here, Becca. I just walked in the door. I'm alright. What do ya need?" Jo asked me.
I spun around, letting go of Cas's hand, and took two or three steps over to Jo.
I leaned over and gave my sister a hug.
"Hey, sissy." I whispered in her ear.
"Hey, Becca. Jo replied softly, hugging me back.
I let go of my sister, smiled at her, and turned back to Ellen.
"I was gonna call cause I was hoping you'd be willing to give me a lift to Norman, Oklahoma. I remembered what you said if you found out I'd been hitchhiking again, too." I told Ellen.
"No problem, darlin. I can get you to Norman. But what did you want Jo for?" Ellen asked.
"I was hoping Jo would be willing to go with Cas, get the Impala, and drive it back here." I replied looking between Cas and Jo.
"Sure Becca. I'm game. How about it Angel?" Jo asked Cas.
"I am more than willing to assist if that's what you want, Rebecca." Cas said.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate this." I told them.
"You got the keys to the Impala, sweetheart?" Dad asked.
"Yep. I was the last one to drive her before..." I answered trailing off.
"We know about Dean and Sam honey." Ellen told me softly.
"Oh ok. Dad, can you take care of the Impala til I get back once Jo drops it off?" I asked my father.
"Not a problem." Dad replied.
"Great. Are you ready to leave right away Momma or did you want to stick around a bit longer?" I turned back to Ellen and asked.
"How much time do you need to get ready?" Ellen asked.
"None really. Mr. Snatch and Grab here, left all my things behind. All I really need is a plastic bag for the clothes he brought me. The dress I'm wearing now, he used his "flutter thing" to go get. The rest of my things are back in the Impala." I told Ellen with a nod of my head at Cas.
"Alright. Give me another forty-five minutes to talk to Bobby and I'll be ready to head out." Ellen replied.
"Whatever you want, Momma." I said.
"Give me about ten minutes to talk to Becca and I'll be ready to take off as soon as you are. Ok, Cas?" Jo requested Castiel.
"Of course, JoAnna." Cas replied agreeably.
Jo shot Cas a funny look and shook her head.
"Don't bother trying to reprimand him about your name, Sissy. I still can't get him to call me Beck." I laughed at Jo's funny look and shake of her head.
"Rebecca and JoAnna are beautiful names." Cas asserted.
That earned him a smile from not just Jo and me, but from Momma and Daddy as well.
"Come into the living room with me." Jo said to me and started for the living room without me.
I nodded my head and quickly followed my sister.
"What's up?" I asked her once I had caught up.
"I think Mom and Bobby like each other." Jo told me turning to face me.
"Of course, they like each other, dummy. They've been friends for years." I laughed.
"No, I mean like they really "Like" each other." Jo said putting extra emphasis on the second "Like".
"You're telling me that you think they have a "thing" for each other?" I asked with a slightly confused frown.
"Yea, something like that anyway." Jo replied with a nod of her head.
"Okay, not that I ever want to picture our parents doing it, cause ew, but..." I replied unable to finish my sentence.
It was such a weird idea. Bobby and Ellen together?
It wasn't really any of Jo's or mine's beeswax, but if they could be happy together why not?
Added bonus if they did hook up, got married, or whatever I'd have Ellen for a step-mom and Jo for a step-sister.
Not that they weren't my mother and sister already or anything.
It would still be a totally awesome thing to have to happen in any case!
"You alright with this?" Jo asked me.
"They're adults. They don't need me or you to be "alright with this" if that's what's going on. But yea if it makes our folks happy I think it's great." I told her.
"You're right, it's none of our business. It's just kinda weird to think of the two of them like that. I love Bobby and I want mom to be happy, so yea I'm good too." Jo replied with a wrinkle of her nose and an off-centered grin.
"Great Jo. I'm glad." I told her with a shake of my head and an eye roll.
Cas joined us in the living room to see if Jo was ready to leave.
Jo smiled and told him she was. Cas crossed the room to us, smiled at me, took Jo's hand, and with a small flash of light they were gone.
I stood in the living room on my own for a few more minutes then went and sat in the window seat. I let my thoughts wander. I found myself thinking of Mother. I wondered if I was being disloyal to her by being excited by the idea of Ellen and Dad.
Also by my total acceptance of Ellen as my "new" mom.
I still loved Mother very much, but I was also angry with her. She had denied me Bobby. She had denied me the chance not to choose the life I was living. Maybe she was just trying to protect me, I don't really know. What I do know is that when Michael gave me the choice, I chose this life as a huntress. But I chose it for my own reasons.
Maybe when this was all over, I would find my way back to Heaven's Gate or maybe I would just start doing the bookkeeping for Singer Salvage.
I wasn't really sure.
My thoughts for a few more idle minutes after that settled on the two people I had recently lost.
Sam: Educated, Kind, Defiant, Brave.
My best friend in the world. We are so much alike my Sam-I-Am and I.
He's darker than he lets most people know. I know that it worries Dean, but it's part of who Sam is. If I wasn't so in love with Dean...Sam would still be my best friend and nothing more. I'd be too afraid we'd ruin what we already had by trying for something more. What am I gonna do without him and why can't I wonder the same about my best friend, Kyle (who I've known my whole life), in Mother's world?
Dean: Sexy, Hot-Tempered, Loyal, Obnoxious.
I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to find the man of my dreams.
His jokes and his sense of humor are terrible.
Most of the time I think the only things we have in common are mutual attraction and quick high burning tempers. He drives me absolutely crazy. We fight almost constantly and yet, there is no one else in any world I'd rather fight with.
When I was the one who died Dean crawled inside a bottle, out of grief.
Does that mean he loves me in return? I don't know, but I will not do that.
I want to believe he loves me as much as I love him.
But that was Pot and Kettle anyhow as neither of us had ever said.
"You ready to go, Becca-Ann?" Ellen's voice asked, breaking through my thoughts.
"Huh? Oh, yea sure Ellen whenever you are." I replied stumbling out of my reverie.
"Daydreaming?" Ellen inquired.
"Just thinking a little too much." I told her.
Dad rolled into the living room. I leaned down and gave him a hug.
"See you when I get back, daddy." I told him.
"Any idea as to when that might be?" Dad asked.
"Not really. After I got the truck, I'll be hunting on my own for a bit. I'll call you every couple of days or so if you like though." I replied.
"You do that, little girl. Be careful and don't do anything stupid!" Dad instructed.
"Yes, daddy." I sighed with a smile.
"Don't worry, Bobby. You've got a real smart girl, here. She'll be fine." Ellen told him
"You still worry about Jo?" my dad asked rhetorically.
Ellen chuckled, leaned down to my dad, and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"Later, Bobby." she told him softly.
"Stay safe, Ellie." my dad replied in a low voice.
Ellie?!
Wow, maybe Jo had hit the nail on the head.
Five minutes later Ellen and I were in her SUV headed toward Norman, Oklahoma.
We didn't really talk all that much.
Ellen concentrated on the road, as she was driving. I was busy making myself miserable by comparing driving like this with Ellen to driving in the Impala with Sam and Dean.
After three hours of silence and the radio playing softly, I was ready to start talking again.
So I decided to be nosy.
"Are you and dad seeing each other?" I asked Ellen.
I watched Ellen slightly frown and wondered if I should have just minded my own business.
"Would it bother you if that were the case?" Ellen answered my question with one of her own.
"Not if the two of you are happy together." I replied shaking my head.
"What made you ask?" Ellen wanted to know.
"Jo. She mentioned that she thought you two were interested in each other. It seemed to me she may be right after witnessing you kiss dad and him call you "Ellie." I told her.
"It's complicated." Ellen said.
"What isn't in this family?!" I laughed.
Ellen laughed too.
Even if her secret was out and it turned out the two of them had something goin on. They knew that their girls wouldn't give them any static about it.
Especially not from the one in love with Dean Winchester.
"I love your Dad. Didn't think I'd ever feel that way about someone again, after Bill." Ellen confessed, after several minutes of silence.
"You tell dad yet?" I asked, thinking of how I had yet to tell Dean how I felt.
"He knows that I care about him a lot." Ellen answered.
"How long has he been callin you, "Ellie"?" I asked.
"He started calling me that shortly after the funeral we held for you." Ellen told me.
"You had a funeral for me?" I croaked, feeling shocked and letting it slip into my voice.
"Yea, we did. Your dad, Jo, Sam, Dean, Cas, and I wanted to do something to honor your memory. The demon, Crowley even showed and grieved with us." Ellen informed me.
"Wow." I said softly.
"What did you expect, little girl? We love you." Ellen told me.
"I love y'all right back." I smiled tryin' not to tear up a bit.
I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was overwhelmed that they had a service for me. But why was Crowley there? I had planned on visiting him after I had the truck anyway, so I figured I'd just ask him then.
I had some business to pursue with the charismatic demon that I needed to handle before my dad did something very stupid, again.
We were halfway to the truck when I noticed Ellen was tired. So I offered to drive the rest of the way, giving her a chance to take a nap. Ellen smiled, thanked me, and pulled over. We hopped outta the car. I took over the driver's seat, while Ellen climbed in the back, laid down, and caught her nap. I let Momma sleep as long as she wanted, she obviously needed it.
Forty-five minutes away from the truck I realized that I was seriously hungry.
So I found a drive-thru and picked up something to eat for the two of us.
Momma finally woke up to the smell of food and we decided it was time to eat.
We pulled over and ate. Ellen jumped up in the front passenger seat and sat with me, while we ate. After we were done we were back on the road, on the way to the truck.
"Here we are, honey." Ellen said as I pulled the SUV over to the address that I had memorized that was on the paperwork when I had gotten the truck.
I got out of Ellen's SUV, took the keys out of my pocket that I had taken Dean's key chair earlier, and walked up to the front door.
I knocked on the front door and waited.
Nothing.
I knocked, again, and waited.
Again, nothing.
"Let me give it a shot, hun." Ellen offered coming up on the porch next to me.
I stepped aside and allowed Ellen room.
She smiled at me, turned to the door, and then pounded the shit out of it with her fist.
"What the hell do you want?!" an angry voice demanded from the other side.
"My name is Lindsey. I'm here to collect the truck John Winchester left in your care for me!" I called back.
"Lindsey?" Ellen asked softly.
"When I was in the boy's past, I met them and John. I gave them my last name to call me by." I softly explained to Ellen.
The door swung open and there was a gentleman about my dad's or John's age (had he been still alive) standing there.
"Hello, Caleb." Ellen said to the man.
"Lo, Ellen." Caleb returned, he then turned to me and said, "You look like the picture John left of you."
"I didn't know that he had one." I replied confused.
"Yea, he came to me with a wild story about a young woman who could cross through time. Told me that she was really important to him and his boys would need her. Practically begged me to pick up the truck after he was gone and store it for ya. He knew huntin' ole yellow eyes would kill 'im. Hell, I agreed to do it just to see if you were real." Caleb informed me.
"Well, as you see I am most definitely real. Thank you for holding on to the truck, I appreciate it." I told him.
"She really what she seems to be?" Caleb asked Ellen.
"Yea." Ellen replied.
"You sure she ain't a creature or something?" Caleb insisted.
"Very sure. Call up Bobby Singer, you want anything more on her if my word ain't enough." Ellen told him.
"Bobby Singer, huh." Caleb replied.
"Yea, he's my daddy. Now if you're done with the ID verification, can I please have my truck?" I requested getting annoyed.
"Bobby Singer's daughter. Well, she certainly sounds like him, so alright good enough for me. Come on, girl. I kept 'er in good running condition for ya." Caleb said.
"Thanks." I replied.
I followed Caleb through his house and out back to what looked like an old barn.
Ellen brought up the rear behind us. I was glad she had stuck around.
I probably would've had a lot more problems with Caleb if she hadn't.
Caleb opened up one of the big barn doors and went in.
I followed him and saw a huge truck-shaped drop cloth.
Ten to one said under that drop cloth was my truck.
Caleb pulled the drop cloth off and there she was.
John's, now my, truck.
She was beautiful.
"John told me once his eldest boy, Dean, christened her "Truckzilla"," Caleb said conversationally.
"Zilla." I said softly with a chuckle.
"Fits and makes 'er yours at the same time." Ellen grinned.
"She is mine. Aren't ya honey?" I said to both Ellen and Zilla.
Caleb went and opened the other barn door for me.
"Get back to dad and tell him how you feel, Momma. Not all the women in this family need to live with complicated." I instructed Ellen, before walking to my truck.
"Bossy much, little girl." Ellen replied trying to sound stern and failing.
"So I've been told." I replied without looking back at Ellen and opening Zilla's driver's side door.
"She's gotta full tank in 'er, so that should get ya a fair piece." Caleb told me.
"Thanks, I really do appreciate all you've done. Not just the truck, but for John and the boys too." I replied climbing into the cab, shutting the door, and rolling down the window.
"Aw hell, ya do for family. Well, enjoy 'er Lindsey, and if ya need something just gimme a call." Caleb said.
"Will do and thanks again Caleb. Bye Momma, mind what I said bout daddy." I called back as I started up my truck and drove outta there in her.
I drove the long lonely stretch of highway to Crowley's place.
It felt strange to be traveling down the road without the guys.
Zilla and I seemed to understand each other perfectly.
Yea, yea I'm aware she's a truck, but the Impala was special like that too.
I missed Baby, terribly, but I couldn't drive her without the guys alive and well...I just didn't trust my driving where Dean's car was concerned with him in Heaven.
It was late in the evening when I made it to Crowley's mansion.
I hoped the demon was at home and had not yet taken his "extended vacation to all points nowhere". If that was the case then I'd have to find a crossroads and either hope I got lucky with Crowley showing up or bribe whatever demon showed up to find him for me.
I drove my truck up to the front gate (window still rolled down) and pressed the call button.
What the Hades is a demon doing with a high-tech security system anyhow?!
"Yes?" a familiar accented voice asked.
I held down the call button this time to talk and requested, "It's Beck, Mr. Crowley. May I come in?"
"Welcome back, love. I'd heard a rumor that death hadn't been able to keep you." Crowley replied through the box.
"Thanks, but I chose to come back. Mr. Crowley I'd like to make a deal with you, so either let me in or I'll just go find Lucifer and do business with him instead." I threatened feeling irritated about being put off.
"No need to get your knickers in a twist darling. We can do business. Come right in." Crowley invited.
"Thank you." I called back and then drove my truck through the opening gates.
I parked my truck in front of Crowley's front door, got out of my truck, and was met by Crowley, himself.
"Right this way my dear." Crowley ushered me in.
"Good evening, Mr. Crowley." I greeted.
"Good evening, love. The demon replied The billiard room is open to discuss business as you know the way."
I walked to the billiard room with my host right beside me only moments after he had shut the front door to his home. Once in the billiard room, Crowley gestured with his hand and shut it behind us.
"Care for a drink, Miss Lindsey?" Crowley offered playfully, probably remembering the last time I was in his home with the Winchesters.
"Iced Tea if you have it would be nice." I smiled.
"Here you are." Crowley replied, seeming to produce the iced tea out of nowhere.
"Thanks." I replied, somewhat surprised.
"You're more than welcome, my darling." Crowley said charmingly
I sipped my tea silently and regarded the demon thoughtfully for a few minutes.
If he had been human, I'd have thought of him as an extremely attractive older man. Much like I used to regard the curator of the museum I used to intern at.
"Is your tea alright?" Crowley asked me solicitously.
"Wonderful, to be honest. If it's all the same to you though, I'd like to get down to business." I replied politely.
"Certainly, what is it you want from me, Miss. Rebecca?" Crowley asked me curiously with a sly smile.
"Beck, please. I want two things from you. One of which being, since Castiel can't, for you to use whatever demon power you have to restore my dad's ability to walk." I told him.
"That would be easy enough. What is the second thing? Presuming I granted it of course." Crowley asked a little arrogantly.
"Information. I want to know where my funeral service was held." I replied.
"The information you're after I'll give you for free, darling. But your father's legs come at a price." The demon told me, businesslike.
"I know that the standard fee is the person's soul. But I can't vouch for the state of mine these days. My heart is out of the question as it no longer belongs to me." I replied.
"I'm not interested in your soul, my sweet. As to your heart, Dean Winchester may freely keep it although, I think you could do better." Crowley told me.
"Thank you, Mister Crowley. Unfortunately, love is blind and disagrees with you as far as Dean goes. If you don't want my soul, what do you want?" I asked him.
"From this moment until the one that makes you a mother for the first time, I will be your instructor in magic." Crowley stipulated.
"You want to teach me magic, in exchange for Bobby being able to walk again?!" I nearly shrieked confused.
"That's the deal, Beck. You become a very powerful witch, with me as your tutor, and your father gets out of his wheelchair." Crowley confirmed.
I sat there and regarded him, once again.
I couldn't fathom why he would want me to become a witch, powerful or otherwise. What benefit could it possibly be to him?
I also would be his student until I had my first baby.
That was sorta weird.
Well, at least he wasn't demanding it as payment, that was something.
Plus the information I was after was mine without any strings attached.
I stood up slowly, placed my drink on the nearby end table, and walked over to Crowley.
"Deal." I said, my eyes locked on his.
Crowley reached out, took my hands in his own, and leaned forward. I met him halfway. Our lips touched and we kissed. Sealing our deal. Neither was able to back out of what was agreed upon.
We pulled apart. Crowley smiled and I tiled my head slightly to the side, just wondering.
"We need to return to your truck. If, of course, you're ready for the information you requested." Crowley informed me.
"Yes, ready when you are." I replied feeling confused.
The billiard room door opened on its own, I walked across the room, out the door, and back into the hallway. I made my way down the hallway to the front door, which also opened on its own, and exited Crowley's mansion.
The demon was waiting for me, leaning against my passenger side door.
"Very good, Beck." Crowley said to me.
I looked at him with a confused frown and walked around to the driver's side door. I was getting ready to reach for the driver's side door when it swung open. I frowned and jumped in, it closed without me touching it too. Feeling confused and a little freaked out I leaned across the cab of the truck to open the passenger's side door and, once again, the door just popped open.
Crowley climbed into the cab and smiled at me.
"I knew you were a natural." Crowley still smiled as the truck door shut, after he was settled, of its own accord.
"If you say so." I replied starting up the truck, feeling disturbed.
I put the truck into gear and drove towards the front gates, thinking Crowley would open them. He didn't. I started feeling nervous as we approached the gates and wondered if we were going to crash into them. Just as this seemed to be the case everything went pitch black.
I think I screamed, but I've never been entirely sure.
"We're here." Crowley said as a hazy light filtered its way into my truck, pushing back the blackness.
Turned out that hazy light was the breaking of dawn.
"Where exactly is here?" I asked softly.
"Look around you, love. I'm sure you will recognize it." Crowley suggested.
I did as Crowley suggested.
As I looked around it struck me how familiar it was.
A moment later my truck door popped open and I got out without even thinking.
The door must have closed behind me, but I don't remember. What I do know is that when I got back to the truck the door was closed it popped open, again, all on its own.
I walked around for a few minutes with the distinct feeling of deja vu.
Except for the fact that I had never been there before, I knew the place.
Then it hit me. I was in the deserted town, from the end of Season Two, where Yellow Eyes/Azazel had taken and hidden Sam along with the rest of the "special" children.
Holy Shit!
This is where they decided to make my final resting place or at least the final resting place of my memory?!
Whose bloody idea was that?!
"Over here, darling." Crowley called.
I followed the sound of his voice to the ghost town's abandoned cemetery.
Fitting.
I walked through the old black iron rusted fence, whose gates were long since gone. I picked my way, carefully, through the headstones, every once in a while stopping to look at them. In the center of the cemetery was an old chestnut tree.
I love chestnuts, especially at Christmas. Ya know, chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Ok, ok, I get it a little hokey-pokey, but Christmas is Christmas and unlike Sam, I'm not a scrooge. Anyhow, under the chestnut tree, I saw it.
It was a sculpted statue of a very pretty young lady walking through a doorway. At the base of the sculpture, planted a few inches away from it, were purple tulips. My favorite flower.
"Is this it?" I asked quietly feeling suddenly robbed of air and overwhelmed.
"Yes, but it's what's under those flowers that you'll find something more valuable to you." Crowley replied.
"I'm not so sure I can dig up my own grave, Mr. Crowley." I told the demon, creeped out by just the thought of it.
Crowley softly chuckled, whether it was at my discomfort or not I couldn't say.
"Then allow me to offer you my assistance." Crowley replied, the chuckle was still in his voice.
A moment later, in front of the purple tulips, a beautiful cherry wood box with gold inlay on its edges and gold inlay writing on the top appeared.
I crouched down and read the top of the box:
Rebecca Annette Lindsey
"The star that burns the brightest is often times the one we look to in the darkest night."
She loved, She laughed, She lived, and She was Ours!
Tears freely coursed down my cheeks reading that inscription. I had known I was loved, but I had never known just how deep it ran. Considering the very short time I had really been a part of their lives at my death.
I wiped my eyes with the heel of my hand, picked up the box, and stood back up.
"It's a memory box. It's supposed to house the memories of the departed when there is nothing left to put to rest. It was my contribution to your "funeral"." Crowley explained.
I nodded my head, clutched the box to my chest, and walked back to Zilla.
My driver's side door, as I mentioned earlier, opened for me. I leaned in and put the memory box on the cab's center console. I straightened back out of my truck and walked to the front of Zilla's hood.
I looked at Crowley and asked, "When do we begin the magic lessons?"
"My dear girl, we already have." the demon replied and vanished.
Great!
First, an angel who did disappearing acts, then a demon!
What the hell is with these Supernatural yo-yos?!
I sighed, shook my head, walked back to my open driver's side door, and climbed into my truck. This time I leaned over and shut the door myself. I fired up Zilla and started to put her in gear when my eyes fell on the box.
I let Zilla run, left her in park, picked up the box, and placed it in my lap.
There was no lock on it, so I just lifted the lid and examined the contents.
One by one I took the "memories" out.
First came a very trashy-looking Barbie doll, and oddly enough it reminded me of the trashy waitress at "Miss Flora's" roadside diner. It was the first place I'd ever had a meal with Ellen and Jo. I giggled looking at it, this was more than likely Jo's "memory". I put it down in the passenger seat next to me and took out the next "memory".
The next "memory" I pulled out was a bandanna. I held it in my hand and examined it, it looked familiar. I discovered a red-brown stain on it. I knew that the red-brown stain was my blood. The memory of Bobby mopping up the bloody gash I received (thanks to a crazy ghost) shortly after I met him and the boys, flooded back. Oh, daddy. I was certain that this had been my father's, Bobby Singer's, "memory". Even before he know I was his daughter, I was his "little girl". I love my dad! I folded up the bandanna into a large triangle and tied it onto my head, wearing it over my hair. I, then, pulled out the third "memory".
The third "memory" I pulled out was what appeared to be a custom-made key chain of a young man and an angel dancing together. Music filled my head and images of dancing with Dean in Daddy's kitchen, while Sam and Cas danced together next to us swam in front of my eyes. It made me glad I had decided to wait on driving. This had to be Sam's "memory". My best friend is such a marshmallow at heart. I grabbed the key chain's loop and attached it to the loop holding my truck keys. After that was done I moved on to the next "memory" that caught my eye.
The next item was only slightly confusing, if only for the reason that I knew for a fact that it and been destroyed with me when I had died. My deep red poker chip necklace. I held it up to examine it and the necklace was in perfect condition. Since Crowley was responsible for the "memory box" itself, this "memory" must have been Cas's. I found it odd because Cas hadn't been with us when I earned the poker chip itself from Patrick (a male poker-playing witch who gambled with years instead of cash), yet he had understood how important it was to me. I undid the clasp and fastened the necklace back around my neck.
An awash of magic rolled over me. It appeared that some of Cas's power had transferred to the necklace, on top of the "charge" Patrick had placed on the poker chip. I could feel the magic and Angel "mojo" radiating from the necklace into me.
Well, the deal with Crowley was to learn magic from him, so the power from my necklace would definitely be useful. There were only two "memories" left in the box. I took out the smallest one.
The fifth "memory" was a silver bullet. I looked at it and rolled it around in my hand. I suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to start bawling. I remembered a pair of golden hazel eyes deadlocked with my own, waiting for me to end it. It was the memory of the werewolf I had killed while with Ellen and Jo. Mitchell Greene. Poor Bastard, I wish to God that there had been another way. This had to be Ellen's "memory". Ellen was the only one who had known how deep that hunt had cut me. (As soon as I could I decided to try and have the silver bullet made into a key chain, to sit next to the "Sam memory" on my truck key chain. I decided that until I could I would keep it on me, so stuffed it in my bra. What? My pink baby doll dress doesn't have pockets. I finally took out the last "memory" in the box.
The last "memory" in the box was a small book. This "memory" had to be Dean's, he was the only one left. I picked up the book and opened it. Whatever I may have expected that "memory" to be it was not that. A small photo album. The very first picture in the photo album was an old, very old Polaroid (That I didn't even know had been taken.) of me sitting on the Impala, cross-legged, in the middle of its hood. I was holding Baby Sam in my lap. Little Dean had his arms wrapped around my neck leaning against my back, he looked like he was giggling. John was in the photo too, in it he had just hopped up on the side of the Impala and appeared to be trying to tickle Dean. I smiled as I remembered the day that this photo took place. The four of us had been so happy and looking at this picture of the four of us together made me a little sad. I made the decision to save the rest of the photos for later after that.
The album was the only "memory" I returned to the box.
I took a deep breath after returning the photo book to the "memory box", smiled, put my truck into drive, and drove the heck outta there.
I found a small cash box underneath the seat, it was stocked. So I used some of the cash to buy a drop phone. I spent a week on the road on my own and called dad every couple of days, as I had promised him. I met with Crowley twice. (Though, truthfully, I was still waiting for the lessons to begin.) During my solitary week, I handled two ghosts, a handful of ghouls, and a very drunk man who, arguably, could have been related to an octopus.
So all in all, busy week.
It was time to head back to dads.
"Hello, Rebecca." Cas greeted from the passenger's seat.
I swerved a little bit, slightly startled by the angel.
I hadn't seen him since I asked him to take Jo to go pick up the Impala.
Looks like that worked out alright.
"Hey Cas, how's Jo?" I asked in reply.
"JoAnna is fine. She and Ellen are hunting together once more." Cas told me.
"Great. So, what's up doc?" I teased.
"Rebecca, I'm an Angel. Not a Doctor." Cas reminded me.
"Yep." I replied with a roll of my eyes.
"Rebecca, why have you not greeted Dean or Sam? You usually always say hello." Cas asked sounding curious and confused.
"Could have something to do with the fact that I didn't even know they were in the back seat, Cas." I replied sweetly.
Dear Lord, there are days I want to throttle that Angel.
"Hey, Becks." Sam greeted softly, probably worried I'd swerve again.
I glanced in the rearview mirror and there as Cas had said were both the guys, back from Heaven.
"Hi, Sam." I replied gently.
"Becky." Dean said.
"I'm fine, Dean. How was Heaven?" I asked him.
"We found God, well sorta." Sam answered for his brother.
"What did He say?!" Cas demanded.
"God, don't give a shit. We're on our own." Dean replied brutally.
"Hhhmmmm." I said softly.
"Rebecca. This is a large problem." Cas admonished me.
"Is it? Sorry Cas, I really don't see how. Other than you being disappointed, of course." I replied with an indifferent shrug.
"Rebecca! God was our only chance at stopping the apocalypse!" Cas reprimanded me.
"Horse-Shit." I replied mildly.
I caught Sam's eyes when I looked in the rearview. I threw him a quick smile and a wink. Sam gave me a confused smile in return.
"How do you propose we win without God and how is equestrian fecal matter going to help?!" Cas demanded.
I turned my head to him for a few moments, then back to the road, pulled over, put the truck in park, crossed my arms over the steering wheel, put my head down on my crossed wrists, and laughed like a hyena.
I'm pretty sure I freaked out the two men and one angel in my truck.
"Equestrian fecal matter?! Angel, one of these days you need to learn to talk like everyone else!" I gasped out between gales of laughter, and tears ran down my face.
From the backseat, I heard Sam start to chuckle.
"Are you alright, Rebecca?" Cas asked with his "constipated bulldog" face full-on.
"Ya, I'm great, Cas. Thanks to you I'm fucking hysterical." I giggled, the laughter subsiding, as I wiped my eyes.
"Why were you crying, if you are alright?" Cas asked.
"Sometimes people cry when they're happy or laughing. Not just when they're sad or upset, Cas." Sam answered for me.
"Oh. Here Dean you can have this back, it's worthless, now." Cas said holding Dean's necklace out to him.
"Just pitch it." Dean replied.
"Don't you dare! Give it here, it ain't useless! Dean, Sam gave you that!" I reprimanded yanking it outta Castiel's hand.
What the Hell?!
I took the necklace and hung it on my rearview mirror.
It would hang there for a few years until another member of our family started to wear it.
"So, uh where we headed Becky?" Dean asked.
"Home." I replied simply, putting the truck back into drive.
As we drove back to dad's the four of us were quiet for most of the trip.
Halfway to Dad's, Sam quietly asked, "So what's been going on with you, Becks?"
I glanced in the rearview mirror at Sam and felt a slow smile spread across my face. I glanced at the passenger's side floorboard, where the trashy waitress Barbie had fallen while I was driving.
Oh, Sammy, I don't think you'd like the answer to that question.
"Oh, ya know stuff." I replied, snapped on the radio, and began to sing along.
Country.
Hey, the driver picks the music, right?