A/N: I'm mad at my computer because it deleted the fic I was ready to post here. Stupid retarded computer, and I really liked the first chapter, it took me FOREVER to write! ;; Anyways, enough of my rant and lets get on with the fic. I dunno what the hell I was on when I wrote this chapter, but it somehow inspired me to write this even though it's weird and full of plot holes.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the following: Eclipse and Shadow belong to Eclipse and Shadow, Rhiana, Juno, Vaukashi, Drayian, Det, and Daneal belong to BloodyChaos, Maya, Len, and Toi belong to Sesshi is sexii, Shelby belongs to FFlove190, and the FFVII cast belong to Square-Enix…only thing I own is Sandy Mikage, Yoko (You'll see) and this piece of cake I'm eating as I type this.

Warnings: More insanity than ever, strange videos, dollars, Reno/Sandy hints but only if you look hard…

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"This day keeps getting weirder and weirder." Reno said as he looked at the four new people who had somehow come in the house through some sort of portal….well three of them did, the fourth somehow just walked down the stairs and she claimed that she'd been looking at stuff in the attic. The four new people were all what appeared to be teenage girls.

One of the girls that came through the portal had blood red eyes, long spiky brown hair, appeared to be around eighteen and was wearing black pants, white belt, black vest, and a dark blue coat, she was currently conversing with the most insane people in the house; Rhiana, Juno, and Sandy. She called herself Maya.

Another one of the girls, who introduced herself as Len, that came out of the portal had faded red hair down to her shoulders, aqua colored eyes and wearing glasses, wearing a white kimono with fuchsia petals designed on it, and wooden sandals and looked about fifteen. She was currently correcting every little problem she saw while acting like a know-it-all all the same, the group noticed if she stared at Marlene long enough the little girl would start to cry.

The last girl, whose name is Toi, that came out of the portal, her hair was blue and went down to the center of her back and being tied back with a pink bow, she had turquoise colored eyes, and was wearing tan cargo pants, a white button-up with a black dragon on it, and for some strange reason she walks around bare-foot. She was caring for a plant since she was a nature lover.

The girl who came down from the attic, looked about fourteen or so, had brown hair that's tied up in a pony and red glasses, she wore a black hoodie and blue jeans with a little key-chain hanging off of the belt loop saying 'Sorry I stopped listening days ago.' She introduced herself as Shelby and she was talking with Zack and Sephiroth because she was a major fan. The group got suspicious of her but she proved that she wasn't one of those rabid fangirls since she didn't immediately start asking those strange questions or scare Sephy and Zack up a pole.

"You're telling me. First we all need a home because of some strange incident, then we all end up living in the same home, next Yuffie and Sandy cause the most random and chaotic destruction, a few minutes later Eclipse and Shadow crash through our roof because they went skydiving without parachutes, then rabid fans attack us, shortly after Rhiana, Juno, Drayian, Vaukashi, Daneal, and Det crash through the place, then four of the said psychopaths plus Sandy, Eclipse, and Shadow, cause more random insanity, now four new girls appear here. Did I miss anything?" Rufus asked as he ticked each event off his fingers.

Reno thought for a second. "Yup," He started. "You forgot that they had chained us by the feet and are hanging all of us; except Zack and Sephiroth, upside down over a pot of magma and lowering us every once in a while because they think this is fun to burn us to a crisp. Which reminds me, Cloud, you're hair is on fire." And indeed it was, since Cloud's hair was an extra seven inches long it was by now touching the lava and on fire.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Cloud screamed while desperately truing to pat the fire down. Cid whacked Cloud with his mop.

"Shut yer' fucking mouth goddamn it! My Mop and me are saying goodbye since I'll be departing to the other world since those psycho bitches up there are going to kill us. GOOD BYE MOLLY! I'LL NEVER FORGET THY! PLEASE ALWAYS THINK OF ME WHENEVR YOU'RE IN ANOTHER GUYS ARMS, AND FIND HAPPINESS!….Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, Molly, when I die, tell Shera that I'm dead, and when she's crying tell her, she's…." Cid paused thinking of what should be said to Shera. Cid found the right words and continued, "……..A NO GOOD FUCKING WHORE! THIS IS ALL HER FAULT! IF SHE NEVER KICKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE I WOULDN'T BE FUCKING DEAD, PUSHING UP DAISIES, KICKED THE BUCK- OWW!" Nanaki bit the crazy pilot. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING-"

"Shut. The. FUCK UP ALREADY!" Rufus roared while twitching like a maniac. He couldn't believe it. His bodyguard…no, his childhood friend, and a bunch of other maniacs, were ready to drop him and a bunch of other people into a pit of lava that they somehow discovered in the house. The chains lowered a few inches closer to the molten rock and the maniacs crackled.

"Sandy, please tell me this is another one of your insane games that you like to play." Reeve asked with hope in his voice.

Sandy smiled at him. "Okay, it is." She responded.

"REALLY?" Every person hanging over the lava; which was all the FFVII cast minus Sephy and Zack, plus Daneal and Vaukashi, asked.

"No." Sandy answered flatly. "I just said that because you told me too."

Reno was starting to get nervous, he was praying that this really was one of Sandy's twisted insane little jokes that Rhiana was helping her with but he was beginning to doubt it. "Rhiana….you're not really going to drop me are you? C'mon, it's me, Reno, your cousin…eh-heh-heh." Reno laughed nervously.

"I say we drop them now!" Juno yelled. She pressed a button and they all fell to their doom……not! The lava pit closed up so they all collided with the floor.

Rufus twitched. "SANDY! THIS WAS ONE OF YOU'RE INSANE JOKES WASN'T IT!" He shouted while getting up. Cid was hugging his mop and kissing it while chanting 'We aren't going to die'. Cloud was starting to see things and started saying the strangest things such as 'The grapefruit monkeys stole my pants again.'

Sandy giggled and responded "Of course not! You don't really think we were going to kill you guys did you?"

Vincent looked at Rhiana and Juno and nodded. "Yes, with those two god knows what could happen." Juno glared at Vincent so her Party Cactus went up to him and stabbed the wannabe vampire.

"Okay, fine, so maybe we wanted to kill a few of you guys, but not all of you. For example, I wouldn't kill Mr. Mop lover here," Sandy said pointing at Cid, "Or Ruffie, or even Pokey over there." Sandy said pointing at Rufus, then Reno, or as Sandy had just called him Pokey.

Everyone but the ex-ShinRa employees ('cept Palmer and Heidigger because they had been locked away in the basement) and the occupied psychopaths stared at Sandy like she was a sane person. "What'd I say?" She asked.

"Why did you call Reno Pokey?" Aeris asked.

The ex-ShinRa workers in the room; besides Reno he groaned, snickered. "The pokey sock incident." They chuckled while Reno groaned 'Not the pokey sock incident.'

"The whose it whatsit incident?" Tifa repeated confused.

"The pokey sock incident! Hahahahaha! It brings back so many memories." Elena said.

"I'm still confused. What's the pokey sock incident?" Aeris piped up.

Rufus cracked a smile. "Maybe we should just show you. After all we just happened to catch it on video tape."

"Rufus no! That's too embarrassing, plus I'll be mentally scarred for life all over again." Reno pleaded.

"Too bad. Reeve, find the video tape!" Rufus commanded.

"Yes sir, Mr. President sir!" Reeve said and began to search the ShinRa files that he kept in his newly rebuilt Cait Sith number 533. "Found it sir!" Reeve said waving the videotape in his hand.

"Hey Vince, you got a T.V any where in here?" Sandy asked.

"Follow me." And thus they all followed Vincent, or got dragged in Vaukashi's and Reno's case by Sandy and Juno, to a dusty room with a big T.V.

"Wow…nice room Vincent." Shelby said with awe.

"Will you just show us whatever this 'Pokey sock incident' is so I can resume my plotting in blowing up the moon." Maya snapped.

"Alright, alright, already. No need to snap. Reeve hand me the tape." Rufus pushed the play button and everyone sat down to watch the video tape, well Rhiana set the couch on fire and Juno pulled a bag of popcorn and a soda out of thin air, then those two proceeded to watch the video tape.

(Start of the Videotape)

Most of the ShinRa employees were standing near the Gold Saucer Desert area where the red sock (Ruby WEAPON's tentacle) is still poking out of the sands. Reno was standing at the edge of the desert just staring out into space thinking about what he should set on fire next at the ShinRa building. Rude was screaming and running around because he saw a snake and freaked out because he's afraid of snakes.

Unfortunately, Rude ran into Reno's back and that resulted in pushing Reno towards the Pokey-Sock (Ruby WEAPON).

"AHHHHH! I CAN FEEL IT EATING AWAY AT MY FLESH! HELP ME! SAVE ME!" Reno screamed.

Everyone watched with awe as they watch the Pokey-Sock (Still Ruby WEAPON people and it always will be.) as it drags Reno under the sand.

"Oh great, what a loss." Tseng said in monotone.

Sandy, who was in the act of lighting her cigarette which fell out of her mouth, had a shocked expression written all over her face. "The Pokey Sock killed Reno. BASTARD!" She hollered. "Wait a minute…" Sandy thought for a moment then realized something, "That bastard owes me money. YOU POKEY SOCK BASTARD! COUGH RENO UP RIGHT NOW! I WANT MY MONEY, THEN YOU CAN HAVE RENO BACK!" She cried.

"Why is Sandy crying?" Reeve asked as he walked up to Rufus, Scarlet, Sandy, and the Turks.

"The Pokey Sock sucked in Reno." Sandy cried.

"So? Shouldn't we be laughing our asses off instead?" Reeve asked in a flat tone.

"No, he owes me mone-Ooooh! Reno's wallet!" Sandy picked up the wallet, stole a hundred gil and placed in the wallet a hundred dollars. "Okay, I'm happy now. Now we can laugh our asses off at the fact Reno got killed by Mr. Pokey Sock." And they proceeded to do so while pointing at the desert and rolling on the laughing for five hours straight.

They soon got bored of laughing and Sandy picked up a stick and began to poke the sand with it. "Reno? You still alive down there?" She asked prodding the sand. Everyone else sweatdropped, obviously their red haired companion was dead…or so they thought.

Suddenly Reno, who was half naked, came running out of the sand. He was missing his shirt and scratched up pretty badly.

"HOLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!" He screamed and sprinted towards Sandy and hid behind her. "Evil Pokey Sock." Reno muttered. Then the poor red head sniffled, "It tried to anal rape me."

Everyone stared at the traumatized red head. "Umm…err…yes." Sandy said absentmindedly while patting Reno on the head while trying to put together his ripped clothing. "Maybe you should go home and get cleaned off." Sandy suggested.

"Yes clean is good. Reno wants to be clean. Reno will be a good boy and get cleaned up. Reno will be good for the rest of Reno's life as long as Reno never has to get near the Pokey Sock again." Reno said as if some sort of trance while nuzzling his face against Sandy's back. Apparently he lost his mind.

Sandy stared at him confused. "Uh…err…right. You're really starting to scare me now." She said as she dragged him aboard the helicopter with the other ShinRa workers who were all laughing at the confused bodyguard and the traumatized Turk. Well, all except Rufus who was seething with jealousy that Reno was afraid to let go of Sandy.

(End of Pokey Sock incident)

Everyone other than the people who already witnessed the incident stared blankly at the T.V.

"That's the Pokey Sock incident?" Shelby asked.

"Yes."

Silence.

Every one but Len burst out laughing. Len instead decided to ruin the fun,

"For starters, that was no sock, it was Ruby WEAPON you dumb asses. Second, you're grammar sucks. Finally, how the hell did Reno escape the clutches of Ruby WEAPON?" Len said.

Rhiana glared at Len and snapped, "Be quiet you wet blanket. Who cares? That's like asking how can I pull an apple out of thin air, then bite into it and then Cid's mop will suddenly burst into flames. Like so:" And Rhiana demonstrated her example, she randomly pulled an apple out of thin air, took a bite out of it, and Cid's mop burst into flames the minute she bit it. "It's also like asking why is Daneal impervious to being burst into flames and dying or why he's so obsessed with stalking me." Rhiana offered.

"MOLLY! NOOO! Another good mop cremated." Cid cried.

Reno was suffering from sheer embarrassment so he sulked in the corner of the room.

"Hey, look there's still more on the tape." Sephiroth said while pulling Zack closer then he already is to him.

Reno perked up. "Really eh? This should be good." He said as he crawled back over to the T.V.

"Oh no. Not this one! Anything but this one!" Rufus exclaimed as he recognized the scenery.

"Oh yes Rufus…The Loco Moron incident." Reno replied sniggering at the president's flustered face.

(On Video)

The Turks, Scarlet, Rufus, Sandy, and Reeve were sitting at the bar in Junon just lounging around for no apparent reason.

Sandy prepared to light up one of her cigarettes until Rufus interrupted. "Can I have one?" He asked.

Sandy shrugged, after all Rufus did look a little stressed. "Sure why not, here ya go." She passed him the cigarette she was going to light and use later to make it look like an accident when she would extinguish it on something and the something would usually ninety percent of the time would burst into flames. That was basically the only reason she smoked, it gave her an excuse to set things on fire and make it look accidental. Anyways, back to the story.

Sandy grabbed one of her 'special' cigarettes and lit it; she then realized that it wasn't one of her 'special' cigs when she took a drag. "Hmm… where'd my cig go?" She asked out loud to no one in particular.

"That doesn't look like a normal cigarette Rufus." Elena said while squinting her eyes at Rufus and the cigarette in his mouth.

"RUFUS STOP! THAT'S LOCO WEED!" Sandy yelled realizing she gave the special cig to Rufus on accident. Too late, Rufus puffed it and he began to laugh like a moron.

"Heh…heh heh…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed between puffs. They all stared at Rufus with that OO; expression on their faces, well except Rude, he did nothing.

"Sandy, why did you give him loco weed? Why do you even HAVE loco weed?" Reeve asked.

"I didn't mean to give it to him! It was meant for me!" Sandy said as she looked at Rufus who was now running around the bar and swinging a broom he found wildly while laughing like a complete imbecile.

"You think we should leave him like this?" Tseng asked.

"Sure, what's the worst that can happen? It'll be worth a good laugh anyways." Scarlet said.

"What if he escapes? He might hurt himself out there in his state of stupidity." Reeve theorized

"Pfft! Rufus is such an idiot right now he probably wouldn't be able to figure out how to open even an automatic door, it's actually even a surprise he knows how to breath." Reno replied as he watched the stupid blonde repeatedly run face first into a wall.

"Guess your right."

Rufus didn't stay cooped up in the tiny bar for long because somebody opened the door and Rufus happened to be running in that direction.

"…" The employees said. They then exchanged looks.

"Did he….?"

"I think he just did…"

"HE'S ESCAPED!" They all, with the exception of Rude, screamed, and they ran and left the bar to search for their lost idiot…I mean president.

/A few minutes later…/

"Here Mr. President! Here boy! Come back boy!" Reno called like Rufus was a dog when they ran down to the streets of Junon.

"Oh, come on! Where the hell is he?" Elena yelled while she leaned on Tseng. "Rufus, give us some stupid sign as to where you might be!" Elena screamed at the sky.

A few seconds later they heard the cries of an idiot screaming "BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT!" over and over again. They turned around and they saw Rufus was standing on top of one of the buildings, running in circles and screaming.

"How the fuck did he get up there?" Sandy asked.

"Who cares? WE'RE COMING MR. PRESIDENT!" Reeve yelled as they ran up the very many staircases in the building.

/A few flights of stairs later…/

The group was exhausted and they finally reached the roof of the building Rufus was screaming and running around on. Upon closer inspection of the idiot blonde, Scarlet noticed he was looking directly up at the sun, hence why he's screaming "BRIGHT LIGHT." like a moron.

"Rufus get back here right now before you hurt your self!" Sandy demanded.

Rufus stopped looking at the sun and walked to the ledge of the building while flapping his arms wildly up and down.

"What are you doing sir?" Tseng asked getting nervous to how dangerously close he was on the ledge and falling.

"Woohoo!" Rufus shouted. "I'm a bird!"

Reno being the quickest of the group darted towards Rufus and half-diving off the ledge as he grasped for Rufus's leg, barley catching it as the blonde fell off the ledge face first.

/Inside the building/

Apparently the building was a collage. Anyways, so the Principal of the school was in his office having a meeting with the new Vice Principal.

The Principal had his back to the window and he was staring at the nervous student. They were discussing the fact that student aren't getting punished enough for all their bad deeds and it was all being recorded for some reason. The V.P. was very nervous because he was actually letting the students get away with this stuff.

"It appears we've been having more and more rules broken every day by students yet they aren't getting punished for some reason, do you have any ideas why this is happening?" The Principal asked while stroking his chin.

The V.P. began to stammer and he pulled at his collar out of nervousness. "I can assure you Sir, that I know nothing about this or why it's happening. I know that I've been doing all in my power to control these kids. All those rumors you heard about me were false and completely wrong." He said.

Rufus swung upside down past the window.

"It's that you seem to care more about the students and you suggested in one of our previous meetings that we get rid of a few rules. Convince me if you're not letting the students break all these rules because they got an okay from you." The Principal said. He wasn't sure that the new V.P was doing this, but the teachers have been saying stuff similar to it and this guy seemed to think they had one too many rules thus making the Principal rather suspicious.

Rufus swung past in the other direction, waving this time and it looked like he mouthed the words 'HI!'.

The V.P. gulped. "Well, I've always been loyal to the teachers and people in higher stats then me ever since I started working here. And now that I'm V.P. of the school, I wouldn't dream of handing the school over to a bunch of teenagers…." His voice trailed off as he watched Rufus swing by the window again; the V.P. figured that Rufus was a teacher at the school; and he watched Rufus claw at the window glass while shouting something so unintelligible chances are nobody (not even the crazy people holding him up) could understand him. The Principal followed the V.P.'s gaze and gaped at Rufus, mouth wide open.

The V.P. threw himself to his knees and began to grovel at the Principal's feet. "PLEASE SIR! I DIDN'T MEAN TO REWRITE A BUNCH OF NEW RULES ALLOWING THE STUDENT'S TO HAVE MORE FREEDOM OR HAND THE ENTIRE SCHOOL OVER TO THE KIDS OR RAISE THE TEACHERS SALERY SO THEY COULD IGNORE IT AND NOT TELL YOU OR ANYTHING! JUST PLEEEEEASE SIR! I BEG OF YOU! DON'T HANG ME OUTSIDE LIKE HIM BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF HIGHTS AND I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" He groveled, lucky for the V.P. the Principal never heard him for he had passed out in his office.

/Back on the roof…/

Reno was still holding on to Rufus's foot but it was getting difficult to hold on to him since Rufus started swaying back and forth.

"Goddamn it Rufus! You're trying to make a record in stupid things done for ShinRa aren't you? If you fall I can just see it now. 'President Shinra does a nose-dive off a collage in Junon because he thought he was a bird and could fly. The reason he thought he was a bird? Because he smoked a fucking loco weed!'" Reno yelled as he pulled Rufus back on the roof.

Rufus just crackled like an idiot making everyone sweatdrop.

Sandy sighed relieved that Rufus wasn't hurt…..well, at least physically. Mentally, he's temporarily messed up. "C'mon Rufus, we'll take you back to a room where you won't escape and, or, hurt yourself." She said as she started down the stairs.

Rufus grinned making him look really goofy and stupid. He ran down the stairs before any one could reach it and… well, he tripped and fell down the stairs out of an act of stupidity.

"AHHHHH! MR. PRESIDENT!" Scarlet screamed as she and everyone else rushed to the side of where their President lay on the ground.

Reeve poked him. "Do you think he's dead?" He asked.

"No, he just fell down about fifteen flights of stairs, stopped breathing, and bleeding in the head cause he felt like it. OF COURSE HE'S DEAD YOU IDIOT!" Reno yelled infuriated that he had just saved the blonde's ass and Rufus goes off and kills himself. 'I should have let him fall.' Reno thought.

"Well, what are we going to do now that he's dead?" Elena asked while looking at the bleeding Rufus on the floor.

"I dunno, I guess we should think about it." Tseng suggested.

And so, the Turks, Reeve, Scarlet, and Sandy stood there staring at Rufus, who continued to bleed, scratching their chins trying to figure out what to do with the corpse.

/Two hours later…/

"I've got nothing. How bout you guys?" Sandy finally said.

"…Nope." Rude said speaking for the first time in this fic. And everyone agreed with him.

"So we all agree to leave him here dead?" Scarlet said.

"Hey guys, use this!" Some random passerby that looked strangely like Rhiana shouted while throwing a green 'Life' materia at them.

Sandy caught the materia and nodded her head. "Okay. We can cast Life 2 on Rufus!" She exclaimed happily. Sandy cast Life 2, but she missed and a streetlight came to life instead.

"WOO-HOO! YIPEE! I'M ALIVE! AND FREE AT LAST! FREE I TELL YOU, FREE! NOW I CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT MY LIFE LONG DREAM AND CAUSE DESTRUCTION WHERE EVER I GO, RULE THE WORLD THEN BLOW IT UP!" The streetlight screamed and ran off in some random direction. As soon as it left a bunch of cars started to crash into each other.

"Ooookaaay…weird. I'm gonna try one more time." Sandy said casting Life 2 again. Rufus started to regain consciousness and his he looked around. Everyone looked at him hoping the loco weed effects had worn off.

"That was actually kind of fun. I'm going to do that again." Everyone face fault. And before they could stop Rufus from going back up the stairs and falling again, he did. This time Elena broke his fall so he wasn't hurt, but Elena sure was.

"Thanks 'Lena. Someone could've gotten hurt." Rufus said while patting the more than likely dead blonde on the head. Elena…just continued to bleed from her head injury.

"Greeeaaat. Now I have to cast Life 2 on her." Sandy sighed.

"NO DON'T!" Tseng shouted in protest. Then he cleared his throat nervously when every one looked at him funny. "I…uh…mean…I mean, she's alive. She's just taking a nap…yeah a nap see look." Tseng kicked Elena's arm making it move. "See? She moved she's just sleeping."

Sandy shrugged, "Whatever. Now…as for Rufus…." She started but trailed off when she saw Rufus had somehow got on the Junon canon. How he got there, who knows?

"Damnit, that's the second time we lost him. How the hell does a guy high on loco weed sneak away with out us noticing?" Reno asked furiously.

"…" Rude said as he slung the mostly dead Elena over his shoulder and began to walk towards the Junon canon.

"I say we follow him!" Scarlet yelled following Rufus or Rude, I'll let you decide whom she meant, with the rest of the group in tow.

/On the canon/

Rufus was standing dangerously close to the edge again and running around like he was sugar high.

"Okay Rufus, come to us so you don't risk slipping and falling into a horrible, gruesome, painful death." Sandy said while making hand jesters for him to come to the safe end of the canon that they were standing on.

Rufus stopped running and stared at Sandy like she was sane. "NO!" he yelled like a stubborn child, and then continued to run around again, only this time as he ran he slipped on an ice cube and fell off the canon.

Sandy turned a sick pale color and fainted on top of Tseng as she watched Rufus fall. Everyone else besides Elena, Tseng, and Sandy, watched in anticipation to see what would happen when Rufus hit the water.

"Hey what's that rising out of the water?" Scarlet asked pointing in the ocean.

Rude glanced as to where she was pointing and he squinted his eyes from behind his shades. "…Sapphire WEAPON." He finally answered in monotone.

"Oh. Sapphire WEAPON. Heh-heh, now he stands a chance at living…" Reeve said laughing nervously, then the information sunk in his head "…SAPPHIRE WEAPON! T-this is just perfect. Maybe the president could've lived if he hit the water, but Sapphire WEAPON is going to tear him apart…wait a second, how the hell is that thing still alive? We decapitated its head for god's sake. How is it alive?" Reeve yelled to the skies.

"How's Tseng alive?" Reno questioned.

"Good point." Reeve said and they resumed to watching Rufus's plummet to death. Surprisingly, once Rufus was ready to land on Sapphire WEAPON, WEAPON just flung him away with his tail, sending Rufus flying halfway across Junon.

Reno grabbed Sandy and dragged her off in the direction Rufus more than likely landed with the group behind him.

/Halfway across Junon…/

They found Rufus knocked out in an alley lying on top of a bunch of boxes.

"Think he's semi-sane now?" Scarlet asked.

"…" Rude said as he dropped Elena on the floor and slung the out cold president over his shoulder.

"Right, Rude! To The bar, and this time we tie Rufus to a chair so he doesn't escape!" Reno stated while dragging the unconscious blonde to the bar, with Rude in tow with the other unconscious blonde slung over his shoulder.

The only conscious blonde (A/N: Wow, I just realized there's a lot of blondes in this fic) laughed her annoying laugh and followed the two Turks.

Reeve glanced at Elena, then at Tseng, then Elena again, Reeve smiled sheepishly and ran off to follow the other people so he wouldn't have to have the burden of carrying Elena.

Tseng's eyes widen as he realizes why Reeve took off so quickly. He looked at Elena and sighed. Tseng being the gentleman he was; unlike Reno who dragged Sandy across the floor by her foot; scooped Elena up in his arms and joined up with the rest of the chaotic group in the bar where Rufus was tied to a chair, Sandy lying on the table asleep mumbling random and insane things, and everyone else was enjoying their drinks, besides Elena of course.

/End of Loco Moron incident…/

"You got any other embarrassing moments on this video?" Sephiroth asked after laughing his ass off.

"Course we do! We have one of every Shin-Ra employee in this house, 'cept Palmer and Heidigger because they basically embarrass themselves every few minutes. Besides, I don't think you want to see the embarrassing moment, it might mentally scar you, paralyze you, make you gorge your own eyes out, give you mental problems, and/or give you a bunch of health problems." Reeve said.

"Why? What'd they do? It can't be that bad." Zack said.

"Trust me. You DON'T want to see Heidigger and Palmer strip tease, it's a very disturbing sight." Scarlet said. The ex-Shin-Ra executives gagged at the memory while the naïve ones' shuddered at the thought.

"Sowhat'snextonthevideo?" Toi asked too quickly for anyone but Sandy, Juno, and Rhiana; who was currently beating the crap out of Daneal for no apparent reason other then the fact he tried to snuggle her during the video; to understand.

"Riiiight. Moving on to…" Rufus squinted his eyes in thought trying to remember the scenery or the event that happened. "…Ah, yes, The Sugar-High Maniac." Rufus said while glancing at Sandy, who grins in response.

/On video…/

The group was standing in the middle of a big open space near Nibelheim watching the hyper, sugar-high, Sandy run around so she could waste her energy.

Sandy was skipping around singing the Rufus welcoming ceremony song…

"Rufus, President Shinra
We can't think of a rhyme for Shinra
But we pray that you let this small hitch pass
Because you know we only live to kiss your ass

In fighting for you, President Rufus
A Seven Nation Army could not move us
Your ego towers miles above the city-
something, something, something really pretty"

Sandy sang the song, well, sort of, it was her insane version.

Rufus promptly sputtered the booze he was drinking everywhere upon hearing the insane, messed up version of his song.

Reno stared at Rufus in thought. "You know, half the stuff she sang in there was true." she said. Rufus glared at the redhead, then called Dark Nation to attack Reno. Tseng and Reeve sighed; leave it to the Reno to say that to the President's face.

Sandy continued to sing while prancing around until she came across Ultima WEAPON (A/N: I know it's supposed to be Ultimate, but I refuse to call him that since Ultimate was a mistranslation of Ultima. Besides Ultima sounds cooler.) who was peacefully hovering in midair waiting for something to come by so he could snatch it, and take it home to eat.

Sandy stared at the WEAPON and yelled. "WOW! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! WHO CARES, I WANT TO TOUCH IT!" Sandy screamed. Sandy poked Ultima while saying "Poke." In her annoying way.

Ultima roared and snatched Sandy in his claws and began to fly up and away. Sandy just giggled and clapped happily thinking this was some kind of free ride.

Rufus was the first to notice Sandy disappeared since she yelled "BYE RUFFIE-CHAN!"

"OH MY GOD! Sandy's going to be killed, all because of a sugar-high! What do we do?" Rufus asked pacing frantically.

"Nothing." Reno says after he recovered from his little fight with Dark Nation.

"Nothing?" Scarlet says confused.

"Yup. What goes up must come down." Reno said matter-of-factly.

"How's she going to come down?" Elena asked as she watched Ultima fly around.

"Knowing her, she'll find away…"

Sandy had got bored of sitting in Ultima's claws, so she snaked her way out of his claws and began to climb up the WEAPON. She then perched herself on his head and thought for a sec on what she could do. She snapped her fingers and yelled, "I've got it!"

Sandy took out her Zanmato and stabbed Ultima's eyes, thus blinding him and making the WEAPON fly around aimlessly, which angered it and made him blow up random places. Ultima flew over Nibelheim and blew it up.

"OH NO, NOT AGAIN!" The residents of Nibelheim moaned before they were blown to smithereens again. Sandy clapped her hands and giggled at the destruction she made Ulty WEAPON cause.

Ultima eventually accidentally flew into a mountain and Sandy fell off the WEAPON and landed on Cait Sith number 327 and killing it on impact.

"Oops. Hee-hee, sorry Cait Sith, didn't mean to land on you." She giggled in apology. Reeve cried again seeing that his robot died again.

"I just realized something…" Tseng started.

"What?" Rufus asked.

"Reno was right. She did come down."

"…"

"Whatever. I'm going to now cause destruction and mayhem again." Sandy said getting up and setting the field on fire while singing the Rufus song.

"Okay, now we have to do something about her sugar rush." Elena said.

"I told you, we don't have to do anything. What goes up…" Reno started, but then paused when he saw Sandy had suddenly collapsed asleep. The redhead smirked, "…must come down." He finished.

"…Holy shit! Reno was right twice in a row in the same hour, this must mean something." Scarlet said. Reno glared at her but then shrugged in response while mumbling "Whatever."

/End Sugar-High Maniac incident…/

"God you guys are weird…Hey what's next?" Sephy asked.

Sandy smirked as she saw the background, "Why Rude is afraid of Snakes!" She said.

"…" Rude said.

To be continued…

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A/N: Another 2-part chapter for you guys. Told you this chapter was odd and full of plot holes but who cares, it's an insane fic so plot holes and weirdness don't matter. Okay, now I need a few ideas of what incidents to do with Scarlet, Elena, and Tseng, so please write them to me in reviews or Email. The lyrics to the messed up Rufus ShinRa song doesn't belong to me, some guy called anothercid came up with it, and I actually did call Ruby a pokey sock when I first saw it because that's what I thought it was when I was eight (I was watching my older cousin play and then he let me play it) until I touched it that is, and when I was 12 I said those words when I found Ultima because I was sugar high that day. Anyways, school starts on Monday for me so I'll be updating much slower now.

Review corner:

To Sesshy is sexii: Your muses will get more spotlight in this story in future chapters but I just had to get this idea out of my head before I forget it. Heh, you're the only person who acknowledged the hospital part of my A/N, and I thank you for that, but I'm free now! Anyways, hope you liked the randomness.

To BloodyChaos: (giggles) Nice suggestions, I think I'll use them in a future chapter when everyone gets sloshed or something. Also, you don't mind that I used your idea of Rude being afraid of snakes do you? Anyways, hope you enjoy the chappie.

FFlove190: Zack had fans…they uh, just, were chased away from the rabid Sephy fans and they got scared if they came any closer, the Sephy fans would kill them for being near Sephy. Anyways, from your profile it said your name was Shelby so I used that name is that okay? And you'll get more spotlight in the fic too I just really needed to get this out of my head before I forgot it. Enjoy the chapter.

Shinigami's Shadow: Seems like I have a new reviewer, hello. Ah yes, rabid fans are a major pain in the ass, but you sound quite suspicious of them returning. We shall see, if they return, we shall see…. Anyways, no, I don't think I'm going to pair Cloud up with anyone, at least not Vincent, because Vinnie's getting paired up with Cid, cause I like ValenWind cause it's funny…though I might give Cloud a certain male stalker (hint hint)

R R F: This must be my longest chapter yet.

Sandy: (Looks up) No kidding, but you tortured us ShinRa people, why?

R R F: Because my dumb computer decided to delete my drama fic that was ready to be post on the net and I had to take my anger out on something.

Sandy: (sweatdrops) You're evil.

R R F: I know, anyways please review because it makes me very happy and gives me motivation to write this stuff.