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Chapter 11

John watched as she slept facing him, he touched her hair that hung in her face, he pushed it back so he could see her sleeping eye's, she was so damn beautiful, he thought as he saw her let out a breath. He contently closed his own eye's to try and get some rest also.

Some time in the night, the long night, Natalie's body found a home in his, nestled up against it and his arms found themselves wrapped around her tightly, contently.

Natalie woke to the sound of her cell phone going off, she sat up slightly and noticed he was holding her, actually that they were holding each other, she froze for a second as she looked at him, a weak smile almost appeared on her face and she got up gently not to wake him. She found the shirt he was wearing from last night and she threw it over her naked self before she grabbed her phone off the mantle.

"Hello, Hi Uncle Bo, yes, I'm fine, I was just sleeping, john is still asleep in the chair, so it's passable, alright, we'll get our stuff together and get back to the station, do you need us to go over to the cabin for the investigation? No? Okay then see you soon in a little while." she told him turning her back to the bed and John. When she finished her conversation with her uncle she stood frozen in her spot for a few minutes. She wasn't sure what to do next. With him, with the situation, how were they going to handle yet another night together? How was she going to handle anther night with him, but more importantly how was she going to handle the fact that she let him inside her, not just her body but inside the barrier she had spent years erecting.

Natalie still stood there frozen for a few more minutes.

John felt her leave his content arms almost immediately, he watched her thru squinted eye's as she put on the shirt he wore last night, she spoke with her uncle and he watched her backside. He watched her hang up the phone and stay motionless in her spot. He knew what was going thru her mind, she wasn't hard to figure out, she was most likely regretting it, not as much the being together part but the opening up part. He didn't want to give her to much time to think into it, to regret it, to retreat and hide, he got up and went to her.

Natalie felt his arms come around her from behind and she held her breath for a few minutes. 'Keep it together Natty, you can do this, you can still be strong' she told herself as she let out the breath. She felt him bring his mouth to her neck, his breath warm and sensual, and she held her breath again. His lips felt so good this morning. They had been wonderful last night and they still felt that way to her this morning. 'What the hell is that all about?' she almost yelled at herself shocked inside at her own thought.

"Good Morning" he told her as he nibbled on her neck starting to make it impossible for her to concentrate on keeping him away, she was losing all control for a moment, again. She leaned back into him and relaxed as he continued to kiss her neck from behind.

Natalie was so relaxed, she was just feeling good, she was letting him kiss her neck, she wasn't thinking about anything, not work, not being vulnerable, nothing but the way his mouth was again making her feel. John turned himself after a few minutes and faced her. He stared into her blue eyes and she could have sworn he was looking inside her, inside her soul. Seeing who she was and what she feared the most. And at this moment in time, he was what she feared most. She feared falling for him, letting him in, maybe even loving him. She took a deep breath and broke the trance; she shook her eyes free and even her heart. She walked away from him slowly.

"We need to get dressed, I told my uncle we'd be right in" she told him as she searched the cabin for her clothes, she found them and proceeded without any further words into the bathroom and got dressed.

John got dressed while she was in the bathroom, he gathered up his stuff and wondered how this was all going to play out, how she was going to handle this, handle what they did last night. He learned a bit about her last night, some stuff, not a lot but some. She had opened up more than she probably ever had. Maybe more than she had ever wanted to with anyone, if he could just get her to open up some more. Little by little if that's what it took to bring down her wall then maybe, maybe, this thing between them, whatever it was, could be more. Cause with the way he had been feeling about her, he definitely wanted it to be more, much more.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked as she walked out of the bathroom dressed with her hair up in a ponytail.

"No, I think we should talk about a few things while we have some time alone" he told her and he saw her back up, she turned briefly, she was retreating, hiding.

"We're already running late, my uncle expected us a few minutes ago, we can talk another time"

"When then Natalie? When can we talk, talk about things? Maybe you could finish what you were telling me last night," he told her and she looked at him. She didn't want to be nasty to him again, rude, but if he pushed her, continued to ask her to share things, things that hurt so much to talk about still to this day, she might revert back to it. Back to those ways, she took a deep breath trying to be calm.

"Please don't push me John, the more I'm pushed the further I move away, I've told you much more than I have ever told anyone before including my Ex husband, can it just be enough."

"Ex husband? I didn't know you were married."

"Yeah, I was, it was a mistake, and it ended badly, so lets just work together and be professional without complications and drama" she told him and he looked confused, was she just ignoring what happened between them last night, everything that happened between them last night.

" Now I'm confused, will all we be is colleagues of sorts, co-workers? Even after last night?" he asked her point blank.

"Honestly?' she asked and he nodded yes" It's more for your benefit than mine, that we just stay co-workers and even act that last night never happened again. None of it, the sex, the talking, the holding" she told him and he looked at her, she remembered the holding, he shook his head 'remember john don't push her, she will just run, be patient' the voice inside his head told him.

"I won't push, when you're ready, ready to talk again, to maybe more again, I'll be here, now we better get to the station." he told her and she smiled, he was nice, not the ass she thought he was at first but nice, if only she was ready for someone, someone nice.

Natalie and John arrived at the station twenty minutes later; She went to the lab, him to his office to discuss pending cases with a few of the detectives. The day went by fast, he was in his office most of the day, she must have been in the lab catching up also cause he didn't see her at all. He sighed as he felt like he missed her, then he chuckled, he missed her charming personality. He came out of his thoughts as he heard Bo knock on his door, he screamed for Bo to come and in and he did.

"Hey John, just wanted to know if you had plans tonight? My family's having a party, well it was suppose to be a surprise party for me at the palace, thought maybe if you weren't doing anything you'd want to come, a few of the officers will be there" he asked John and he saw the man think about it. John thought about it, he didn't have any plans; he had just been hoping to maybe run into Natalie at that Rodi's place, maybe they could shoot some silent pool. He saw Bo continuing to look at him, as he was lost in his own head for a minute.

"Sure, why not, it would probably be fun, thanks for thinking of me" he told him and Bo left, John knew she would be there tonight, that was the only reason he agreed, as much as he liked Bo Buchanan, he hated parties. But a chance to see her outside of work, to be near her that was chances he wanted.

Sometime after 8 John walked into Bo's party, the palace was crowded, people everywhere, the music was blaring and people were having a great time, he walked around the room, searching for a familiar face, for her. He stopped briefly and saw Bo, wished him happy birthday and then continued to search for her when almost forty minutes later he found her, she was on the dance floor dancing close with some guy he didn't recognize, the man held his arms on her waist and his body was close, any closer and the man would have been inside her, she seem to be swaying back and forth to the music, she didn't seem drunk, maybe just a bit tipsy, he continued to watch waiting for the song to end as he heard Michael clear his throat.

"John" he said as John turned to face Michael. Along with Michael was a Man with black curly hair and a short red head.

"Michael" john told him and he smiled

"John this is my girlfriend Marcie Walsh, Marcie this is my brother John, John this is Christian Vega, Christian my brother" Michael introduced everyone, none of the three could help but notice John's attention was some where else as they made small talk, they could tell what and who his attention was on.

"Who's that dancing with Natty?" Marcie asked as she too noticed all the eyes on Nat.

"Not exactly sure who he is, I think a friend from Philly, don't really care right now either, she's not my heartache any longer" Chris said harshly and he excused himself, John heard his words and caught on that he was either her Ex husband or an Ex of some sorts and he was bitter. Marcie also excused herself after a few more minutes leaving Michael and John alone.

"Johnny? I heard you and she were stuck in the Buchanan lodge along for two night, anything you want to share with me?" he asked and john laughed.

"Michael, I don't kiss and tell" john said making a joke wanting to get off that subject, and wanting to know about her ex husband, the one the thought he just saw walk onto the dance floor irate and pull the guy she was dancing with off of her. The situation on the dance floor started to get heated as he watched on, as almost everyone at the party watched on.

"What the hell are you doing Chris?" she said to an angry Chris as he took her arm and escorted her towards the terrace doors, she was now starting to get mad herself at Chris for his caveman ways.

Michael was continuing to talk to john, warn him yet again about pursuing her as John ignored him, and started to walk to the doors.

"I know Michael, I know a no-no, I've got it" he told him walking completely away as he came upon the doors leading outside, he could hear the screaming between the two from the glass doors and he opened the doors not thinking and he grabbed Chris, and he shoved him up against the wall.

"Cool down Man, no need to talk to the lady like that" john told him as he just held him there gently, Chris looked into John's face.

'You obviously must be talking about someone else cause she's not a lady, she's a whore, cause only whores have problems with words like love and respect." Chris told John she was a whore and he lost it a little, he pulled him off the wall a bit only to push him back hard this time.

"Watch your mouth" John told him almost to the point of steaming, but he never showed anything but control

"What the hell? Who the hell are you? Wait a minute... wait... no Natty not already, you aren't doing him already, isn't he your boss, or something, don't you two work to---"

"Shut up! Shut up Chris, you're just jealous that I wasn't dancing close with you, that I was dancing with some one else," she told Chris as John continued to hold him on the wall. Natalie then turned to John.

"Let him go, he's all talk, no action, sort of like our marriage" she said and John released him slowly, Chris moved away slowly and looked at her.

"Well someone had to do the talking in our marriage you were to busy concentrating on the action" he told her snide and then walked away going back inside.

John and Natalie watched Chris walk inside and Natty turned and walked over to a bench not far away. She sat as she put her face in her hands; John slowly walked over and sat next to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked her and she looked up, smiled weakly

"Sure am, Chris didn't really mean all the stuff he said, he's just full of hot air," she told him

"So that was the husband huh?" he said and she nodded.

"Why'd you guys get a divorce?" he asked and he wasn't sure if she was going to answer or walk away, hide.

"Isn't it obvious, I couldn't tell him I Loved him, or give him any emotional part of me, he couldn't handle it, none of the men I've ever been with could handle it, it always ends ugly" she said and he took a hold of her hand without even realizing it.

"Maybe they were the wrong men," he said and she looked at him confused.

"What?" she asked looking at him as he turned his body sideways towards her.

"Maybe they were the wrong men for you, maybe they weren't strong enough to handle it, you, maybe not mature enough or maybe they just didn't look deep enough to see it, to trust it" he told her and she was a bit shocked with what he said, it was sweet almost, he said it as if he was the right one, the mature one that could see down deep into her and see it, see her, she felt a bit awkward for a moment, she smiled briefly, it was a bit amazing how he was getting her at times, how he seem to understand her even. She stared at him. She went for it, maybe, maybe things with him would be different, she was strong enough to try, and to try with him, she crossed her fingers and really hoped, prayed even that if she let him in, that she wouldn't get hurt by it, that he wouldn't get hurt.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" she asked him and he smiled.