Chapter 5 The Meaning of Love?

"Hey Oliver," Katie said as she made her way over to me on the Gryffindor common room couches.

"Hey Kat," I said as she plopped down beside me. "How'd the rest of the date go?" I asked stiffly, even though I knew she didn't really like him, but I can't help being jealous.

She looked at me and smiled. "He asked me out again. He said he'd never felt this close to anyone … it was our first date!" she laughed.

"What did you say?"

"I said yes," she shrugged. "Why not? I mean, it's not often you have some Quidditch adoring hot guy fawning all over you. I don't get a lot of dates, and plus, if I said no, Alicia and Angelina would surely kill me …" she grinned.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Ol? Do you have a problem with me going out with Diggory?" she asked softly.

I shook my head. "It's fine. Honestly, Kates."

She smirked. "Liar."

"What do you want me to say to that? 'No, it's not okay, dump him'?"

"Perfect, that's the controlling Oliver I know and love. I will dump him, just for you."

"Are you being serious?"

"Hell, no," she grinned.

"Good, because that would make me feel awful," I smiled.

"Aww," she grinned, scooted closer to me and hugged me. I hugged her back, pulling her even closer to me.

"'Aww' indeed, Katie," I grinned.

"You're so sweet, Owwaba," she grinned wider.

"Thanks," I said after a while.

She laughed. "And slow."

"Thanks again" I grinned and kissed her forehead.

"What was that for?" she smiled.

"Nothing really, just wanted to."

"So, anything happening with you?"

"Meaning … what?"

"In the girl department."

"Uh … nah, nothing."

"You sure? Because I saw a little second year following you yesterday…"

"Key words being: 'little', and 'second year'?"

"Yeah …"

"There are no females in my life at the moment except my mum, and my beautiful chasers."

She nodded and laid her head on my chest. "Tired?" I asked.

She yawned, answering my question.

"Katie?" I said after a few minutes. No reply. "Katie?"

She'd fallen asleep. I stroked her hair and stayed there, deciding that I can't get up the girls stairs to take her up to her bed, and if I moved, she'd wake up.

Soon after, I fell asleep too, only waking up when Katie moved and jerked awake.

"Oh! Sorry, Oliver! I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"'S'alright," I said yawning. I looked at my watch. Half four in the morning.

"I don't want to go up to bed. Too far away," she moaned and snuggled closer to me.

"Want to stay here?" I asked, moving a little.

"Stay," she said, holding onto my arm.

"Yes sir," I sighed and wrapped my arms tighter around her, almost like I was protecting her.

"You're so comfy, but so strong … I love being like this, you're just so … I love you, Ollie," she said softly. My eyes snapped open, and I was suddenly wide awake.

"What?"

"A – As a friend of course." She seemed uncomfortable with what she'd said. Heck, I was uncomfortable with what she'd said.

"That's not how you meant it there, Katie …"

She looked at me intensely.

"Katie?"

"If I said it again, would you say it back?"

…

…

Wow, that's a question. Would I?

…

Do I love her?

She was watching me closely, eyes staring deep into mine.

"I don't know. Would you mean it?"

She thought for a while, and I watched her. She looked at me again.

"Yes, to a certain extent, yes." Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears. I took her hand.

"Katie, don't cry. It's okay."

"Would you say it back?" she asked again, a solitaire tear falling from her eye and down her cheek

"I … I really don't know Katie. Maybe … I …"

"You wouldn't, would you?" I stared at her. Another tear fell.

"I don't know," I said, running a hand through my hair and letting Katie go, as I'd been hugging her the whole time.

"It's fine Oliver. I … I didn't mean it anyway…" she said, getting up and running up the girl stairs. I couldn't follow her.

Did I love her? I mean, as a friend, of course I do, but do I love her in the romantic way?

What's the meaning of love anyway? It isn't the definition we give it. To be in love - to adore someone so much they would surely die without them and all of that fairytale shit.

To have a feeling of love for; to regard with affection good will; as, to love one's children and friends; to love one's country; to love one's God.

To regard with passionate and devoted affection, as that of one sex for the other.

A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their love left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his first love".

Do I love her? A strange question. I mean, should someone of my age love someone? I'm only fifteen. I shouldn't, but, what if I do love Katie? She's almost fourteen - a year and a bit younger than me. Would it be wrong to love her? And if she does love me, what will I say to her next time I see her? 'Hey Katie! You love me, but there no way I'm going to say it back!'?

This is quite scary. I've never loved someone before - except from obviously loving my family. But loving someone of another family? - My best friend, no less. I love her as a friend, of course, but anything more than that, I don't have a clue about what I feel for her.

I need to talk to her. I need to know she meant it. Do I think she meant it? I think she did, but I have to make sure. Katie doesn't lie, but maybe she did this one time.

I have to sleep. My head is buzzing with all of this. I stood up, and ran up to my dorm, and fell, fully clothed, into bed, not caring the comforter was in a ball underneath me and making getting comfortable seriously difficult.

Heya again. . I've updated quicker because the chapter's so short. :P. I'm not so happy with this chapter, but it'll do. I can't think right now, and I'm writing two stories at once (one isn't on yet), and, even though they're completely different, I get confused between the two, so, if anything seems amiss, could you tell me about it, and I'll change it? That goes for all the chapters. Thanks.

Best Writing Wishes,

Black Flaming Heart xxx