Close your eyes (don't let you catch me)

Flossie1

Summary: When something feels so suffocatingly right, is that when you leave it all? Is that when you cheat the ones that care the most? Or do you hide?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and Michael.

Author's Note: I find that there's always got to be something that people always get confused about- and reading the first chapter over again, I'd be so confused too. So firstly, at the beginning, Lily was talking about when she kisses Michael, not James. Then its Michael's POV for the rest of the chapter. This chapter is where the story really begins, and I hope you understand it better. One thing I despise about this chapter is that I didn't describe the kiss as well as I would like to- but I have my reasons.

And you've got to understand that thi is a really big chapter for me to write- so treasure it.

-0..0-

"Just a second longer?"

"Michael, I told you, I have to go."

"Where?"

"I just have to go, alright?"

"Where are you going Lily? What are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing! Okay? Can you just, just leave me alone for a second, one bloody second?!"

Lily had sounded mad. James was embarrassed to say that that had made him happy. It was strange knowing how much glee he was getting out of someone else's distress. Perhaps they would break up? His heart pumped quicker- Perhaps she would break it off now, while they were still fighting- while he still had his ear pressed against the dorm door-

"What are you doing Potter?"

I looked up from my position on the floor. Saw two beautiful green eyes.

Two angry, beautiful green eyes.

It wasn't a question- a statement really- she knew exactly what I was doing. She just wanted to hear it from me, wanted me to say it…"Yes Lily Evans, I was indeed listening in on your having a fight with your boyfriend of six months, why you ask? Oh...well..."

She wanted to see me squirm;

"Ugh, so what are you doing Lily?"

Yes, brilliant. Answer a question with a question. Ingenious Potter.

"Me, Potter?"

"Ye-"

"'I' am wondering why on earth James Potter would have his ear to the very room I was having a conversation in. 'I' am wondering how James Potter manages to have his head so far up his ass that he still manages to breathe. But above all, Potter, 'I' am leaving."

I watch her stalk off in the opposite direction. A smile plays at the corner of my lips-

"What are you smiling at?"

It's Michael now; he's red in the face- from shouting so much most likely- and looking at me accusingly.

I shrug, and smile.

"So what are you smiling at Michael?"

He turns redder;

I'm not, I am not smi-" He takes a deep breath, "Don't talk to my girlfriend any more, okay?"

"What are you, her keeper? Besides, it doesn't look as if you two are going to be around much longer now, does it?"

He shakes his head, looks to the ceiling and sighs.

"You think your so wonderful Potter. I have to break it to you, but Lily hates you. There I was thinking Lily was incapable of hating anyone- then I'm introduced to you. Believe me- you will never, ever get so much as a date with Lily Evans so long as your name is James Potter and you have a pulse."

-0..0-

Lily was sitting on the floor of the common room when James walked in. The fire was dying down to a soft glow, the light making dark flickering shadows onto the wall.

James doubted she had even noticed his presence, for minutes he watched her as she struggled with a question, watched as her brow knitted together when she read the lines over. James stepped behind the wall, hiding himself from her view.

Every now and then she would put her quill down and watch the fire as it died out, her face basking in the heat, then James her could see she had been crying, noticed her page smudged with tears and her eyes red. He hadn't seen that before. He wasn't aware Lily Evans cried. He scarcely breathed, as she began to pack away her books into her bag.

Her hand slipped, and she dropped her inkwell onto the carpet, the blue ink spread out quickly, soaking into the cream fabric easily. He heard her curse softly, and then with a sudden hiccup, slumped to the floor and wept, her sobs louder and louder as her chest heaved in and out.

James' heart pounded into his chest, he was scared shitless.

James Potter, big Quidditch captain and hunk, afraid of a crying girl. But she wasn't just any girl mind, it was Lily.

"Do you, ugh, want some help there?"

I jumped, and looked up quickly, to see James Potter standing there. I stopped breathing, and felt my face burn with embarrassment. I swallowed slowly, trying to find some words, any, to scream. Accuse him of following me, and spying, anything to get him out of the room. And quickly. But for the first time I couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

I squeezed my eyes shut and swore under my breath, how long had he been there?

"I, umm, mean with the ink, I could fix that up for you if you'd like."

He walked towards me gingerly, as if he was frightened of me, as if I would lash out at any given moment. It was almost as if I were frozen to the spot, I could feel myself shaking slightly. He crouched down slowly, and looked up at me, his hazel eyes soft and apologetic. His hand came to my face and brushed a fallen tear from my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. I shivered suddenly, and found myself wishing he hadn't touched me only because he felt sorry for me.

He reached into his robes and pulled out his wand cautiously, watching me. He muttered a spell quietly, and the blue ink vanished from the carpet.

He looked back to me, as if daring me to speak, as if daring me to get up and leave him there.

I didn't though, for some reason I stayed.

It didn't seem wrong when he lent his face closer to mine, when he finally kissed me, or unfaithful when I kissed him back. He seemed shocked when I did, I was too, but everything that happened from then on I don't think I will ever regret. It was different to when Michael would kiss me, when we kissed lately; he seemed so possessive, especially in the halls, before class, especially when James was around. I know now, how selfish I was being.

For one moment I had no problems in the world. I felt weightless. For one blissful moment I didn't have to worry about anything I should have been.

All that mattered was that I was happy. It felt right. 

I can't describe how I felt when James and I kissed, but I knew I felt something I never felt with anyone else. I felt as though I could stay in his arms forever.

But when I lay in bed that night, deliriously thinking of James I remembered.

Michael.

.