Close your eyes (don't let you catch me)
Flossie1
Summary: When something feels so suffocatingly right, is that when you leave it all? Is that when you cheat the ones that care the most?
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and Michael.
Author's Note: Can you believe I wrote this is about 20 minutes? Well…when you read it I reckon you could…but hey! Its been a while an I figured homework isn't nearly as important as all you special people. Oh! And special quiz, "Where, in this chapter, is a famous song line from The Beatles?"
Ticka ticka ticka….
Whoever guesses right gets my unconditional love and reviews for whatever they write- whether it be anime (yuck!) or bad harry/Ginny (yuck!!)
-0-0-
My heart was pounding, James was staring at me, again. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. I knew what he wanted me to do, how could he let me forget? Every night when we met he would remind me of it. He wanted me to drop Michael. It would be always the same conversation we had, well, argument really, and then, just as I was at my maddest, just as I was re-thinking this whole secret affair we had, he would kiss me. All the doubts I had, all the uncertainties and the worries would just…vanish. They wouldn't matter anymore. How come his kisses always made me feel like that? Feel so…loved.
And that is why I can't stand his eyes on me. Can't stand that he makes things worse when he's near me- so close that I could touch him? Can't stand that when he grabs me in the hall after my classes that one day Michael will see?
He says I'm being over-dramatic. I wish I were.
-0-0-
"Lily? Shit. Just…"
"I can't do it James, why can't you just settle knowing that I'm really with you? Please?"
He said it slowly, as if he was forcing the words out, as if he was unsure of what was going to hurt her or not. But after he had started, it all came out;
"You don't know what it's like when I see you and him,' he spat the words venomously, "hold hands, when he whispers some crap into your ear or when he looks at you, and then at me, as if he's, he's…mocking me."
He stopped for a moment, breathing cautiously, "I want to be able to hold your hand Lily, I want to be able to whisper in your ear and I want to be able to stare at you all I want. I want to tell everyone that Lily Evans is my girlfriend and I want to shout out to the whole fucking world that I love her," he swallowed,
"I don't want anything about us to be a secret."
He looked up at her, his green eyes turning to hers, begging for her to look up at him, to acknowledge him. Nothing he had ever done before made him so scared as he was at that moment.
They didn't end their fight with a kiss that night.
-0-0-
The hall was loud and bustling, owls swooping down with letters and news, second years quarrelling and the constant sound of knives and forks and toast and cereal and bacon and…Oh shit she was going to be sick.
James. Fourteen people down, reading the Prophet and chewing a piece of toast- (jam and butter), he had on his quidditch robes and yellow socks. Oh my god she was staring at him now?
Michael came down and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She swallowed in the screams and pleas her heart was bellowing at her, and turned to smile at him.
Can't she know I can see her? Wouldn't she realise I chose this spot because when I look at the window near the third door I have the perfect view of her face? And Michael. When he sat down, next to Lily, and put his arm around my girlfriend's waist…I could have stood up and strangled him with, oh I don't know…my toast. But then she smiled at him. How dare she!? She was supposed to be smiling at "me". What happened next, what I saw after that, it was…disgusting.
She kissed him, he kissed her back, they kissed, and I swear there was tongue somewhere there.
I take no responsibility for anything I said or did after that.
I guess you could say I'm the jealous type.
I pulled away from him and hopped off his lap. In that second I looked over at James. He was staring right back at me. I went completely cold, right to my toes, he wasn't supposed to see that…please let him not have seen…
I watched him as he smiled sweetly at me, pulled out of his chair and cleared his throat loudly. The whole bloody hall went dead quiet- he sure knew how to get an audience…
"Ladies and gentlemen, " he began, "I hate to interrupt your meal so rudely but I was just noticing this absolutely sickeningly cute couple over there in the corner there." He pointed, "Aren't they sweet?' he crooned, "How long have you two been together now?" Holding his hand in a fist he thrust it into Lily's face like a microphone.
"Three months, James." Her voice was cold and hardly a whisper.
"Oh, I don't mean how long you've been a couple, " James looked around the room, chuckling as if her answer was absurd, "I meant how long you've been faithful?"
.