Chapter 3
Severus opened the letter and read the words written to him. His long face scrunched into a frown. He bit his bottom lip as he lay the offending letter on his desk. What nerve that little know-it-all had. She had the whole of the Wizarding World eating out of her little hand, with the exception to him of course, and still she wanted approval from the one source she would never get it.
He had watched her develop into the young woman she is today. It was a serious source of his unhappiness that Potter's best friend was the one witch everyone was most proud of. Every day the staff room was all aflutter at whatever the girl did the day before. She aced the un-aceable exam. She thought of a new way to solve this problem, she helped this person…blah, blah, blah.
And now, the moment he dreaded was knocking upon his door. He knew he wouldn't escape this year without some form of annoyance from the girl, but what did he expect? She seeks approval from everyone around her. He wondered why she needed it to begin with? Why him? He didn't approve of her in all honesty. No one should be placed that high on a pedestal that early in life. She was bound to fall from grace. The staff at Hogwarts were setting her up for a painful fall when she entered the real world. No one would be there to coddle her. No one would be there to praise her every move. What would the young witch do then? Was she strong enough to face the cold realities alone? Or would she stay in an environment safe for her fragile ego?
Severus drummed his fingers on the desk before him. She wanted his advice? Well then she would get it. She wanted his opinions? Oh…he would be more than happy to tell her his opinions of her. It would do her good to know that there were some people that were not as amiable as Minerva.
Severus wrote a simple and concise reply. She was to be in his office no later than 7:30 pm that evening.
Hermione ate very little at dinner that night prior to her meeting with Professor Snape. This did not go unnoticed by her friends.
"Hermione, are you alright? You have hardly eaten anything, and you don't even have a book shoved under your nose. Are you sick?" Ron was staring at Hermione as if she was sprouting horns. Harry sat quietly, but his eyes too were darting back and forth between his plate and Hermione.
"I'm fine Ron. I'm just…well…I have a lot on my mind that's all." Hermione made herself dig into the food set before her. Her eyes never leaving her plate. Ron and Harry exchanged a confused look. But the subject was quickly forgotten as Neville spoilt his goblet of pumpkin juice. Cries of "Neville!" and "What a mess!" took all the attention from Hermione. That suited her just fine.
She stood before the large oak door that led to Professor Snape's office. She took a deep breath and exhaled before knocking. There was no answer. She knocked again, louder this time, getting a little annoyed.
The door opened, by magic, and Hermione entered the office that was lined with books on every wall. A fire was dancing madly in the hearth and Hermione's eyes found Professor Snape sitting behind his desk, like a hawk ready to pounce. He motioned for her to sit opposite of him and he folded his hands under his chin.
Hermione sat down, uncomfortable under his gaze and she twitched and shifted in the hard wooden chair. In her hands held, what she hoped, would be the wrecking ball that helped knock down the walls that fortified Professor Snape from the rest of the world. If he consented….
"Ms. Granger. My time is valuable and limited. I understand that there is something you wish to discuss with me? Something you would like my advice on?" His eyebrows raised into his hairline in a mocking manor. Hermione meekly nodded consent.
"Very well. I shall go first. Ms. Granger, what I am about to say will no doubt hurt you. However, I see it as my duty as your Professor to be honest and give you the guidance you are seeking. You have been hailed as the brightest witch of the age. You have been given every leniency by fellow students and staff members. You are doted upon as the school princess that can do no wrong. But, as you and I both know Ms. Granger, you do in fact do wrong. You steal, you lie and you expect everyone to bow down to you because of this position others have put you in. You have come to expect special treatment from everyone and I am sorry to say that almost everyone indulges you. However, I am an exception to that. I see what you, perhaps, can not. You have been manipulated from the first day your potential was realized. By everyone here at Hogwarts, by the Ministry and by your little friends. You are being used Ms. Granger. You have been groomed for a life of servitude to all those in the Wizarding World. They expect you to solve their problems. They expect you to be the one they can go to. So far, you have not failed, But what happens when you do? Let me ask you another thing, and I do not expect an answer. You know it already. Has Minerva been grooming you to come to Hogwarts? But what about your wishes Ms. Granger? Do you even have any? Other than pleasing others, of course. Do you know your own mind? Or are you so naive to think that everyone has groomed you and backed you for your own good? This is one lesson you need to learn. Everyone has ulterior motives. My guess, is that the Ministry wants you to work for them. They offer you everything, am I right? You will, in general, be the one to make decisions and create new policies. However, if anything goes wrong, well…the Minister of Magic is not to blame. You see where I am going here? Minerva. Yes she is a fine woman. Better than most. But, she wants you here, for her own ends. I see it, and have seen it. She and Professor Dumbledore spoke often of what you could bring to the school and also of how it would sting the Ministry of Magic that you chose them instead. So you see Ms. Granger, everyone wants a piece of you. I will do you a favor and say that I want nothing from you. I wish only to give you this information and see if you really are the brightest witch. What you do from here on is up to you. But when the cauldron spills and you are left standing alone, you can never say no one ever told you. This way, you know. You are prepared." Severus sat back and saw the look of disbelief on the young woman's face. She was shocked and hurt, made obvious by the well of tears that pooled in her eyes.
After a few moments, Professor Snape sighed loudly and produced a handkerchief from his pocket and lay it on the desk before her. Hermione took it and dabbed her eyes for a moment. He was surprised she had listened to everything. He half expected her to walk, or run rather, from his office in tears and into Minerva's arms. But here she was. Annoying him further with that Gryffindor bravery and pride.
A few more moments past and he heard her exhale. Her amber eyes met his and he was taken aback for a moment by the hardness he saw in them. Her voice shook, just a fraction, as she spoke to him.
"Professor, do you really think I am that naive? Do you honestly think I have never realized what everyone was doing around me? I have noticed and I do know what you say is true. Not all of it though. I don't expect people to bow down to my wishes! They just do! But what you say…is true Though no one has ever put it to me in that way before…" Here she dabbed her eyes again. "I have known all of this for some time. But I have allowed it and was careful not to disagree with anyone at any point in time. Why? Well, look at my position now! I have every resource imaginable at my finger tips. All I must do is say it and it will be done. An apprenticeship, a lab, a study, a teaching position, a member of the Quizmennot…all of it will be handed over to me if request it. You ask me, do I know my own mind? Of course I do! And I know other's minds as well. I have allowed the manipulations to continue because it was in my best interest for it to continue. I am reaching out to you now, because you never wanted anything from me, as you said. You have been honest, at times brutally so, but never the less, honest you have been. Tonight you have shown more honesty in your words than Professor McGonagall has ever done to me." Here Hermione stopped speaking and lay a folder with papers inside on Professor Snape's desk. "This is not how I planned to do this, but your way is better. If you would do me one last kindness…or indulgence…could you read that and give me your opinion? It is something I have devoted all of my spare time to over the course of three years time. It requires more work. It requires a lot actually. But mostly it requires me to go against what everyone has planned for me. I have my own plans and I plan to do what I wish. My hopes were…my hope is that you would…help me."
For the longest of moments Severus Snape's black eyes clashed with her amber ones. They faced off in quiet combat as Hermione struggled to remain composed and Severus struggled to not smile. For he had no idea. He would never admit it, but he had judged her wrongly. He was impressed, and most curious about the contents of the folder. His hand reached out to grasp the folder and Hermione let out a breath.
"Ms. Granger, you surprise me. Because of this, and only this, will I read over what you have written. As my schedule allows that is." Severus tossed the folder back on his desk and met her eyes.
Hermione inwardly cringed to see her beloved notes so rudely tossed aside. She stood to leave.
"Thank you Professor." As she left and closed the door behind her, Severus opened the folder and began to read. He didn't care what he had to do this evening, he would read the contents of the folder if it took all night. Coming from her, it was probably something big.