Chapter three : When all is tumbling down...

Inu-Yasha's POV

"You are WHAT !" Kagome shrieked.

I quickly covered my sensitive ears ; I already had a headache, and Kagome wasn't making it any better.

It had been about one hour since Kaede had told me that I was pregnant. At first, I couldn't believe it. Not because I was male, I knew that some male demons (and hanyous, apparently) could bear children. What I wanted to know was : why me ? Didn't I have enough problems already ? It's not that I didn't want the pup, but this wasn't the time at all ! I couldn't search jewel shards and even less fight Naraku if I was pregnant ! Not only because I woudn't be able to, but also because there was no way in hell I would put my baby's life in danger ! And even after he was born, it wasn't possible : I couldn't go run around and risk to get myself killed ! I couldn't just leave my child behind, nor could I bring him with me ! It was way too much dangerous ! I would never forgive myself if Naraku should ever harm my pup...

That was another of my problems : if Naraku was ever to learn my present condition, and I was sure he would learn it one way or another, there was no doubts that he would take advantage of it and try to kill me. It sure wasn't the first time. But this time, I was scared. Because it wasn't just my life at stake, it was my pup's too.

I had nowhere to hide, and no one to protect me if the need should arise. Oh yeah there was my friends, and they were all pretty strong, but they were just humans. They wouldn't be able to hold very long against a demon like Naraku. And I knew Sesshomaru wouldn't help me.

Of course he was the father. It wasn't very hard to guess. I had mated only once, and with him. But he had abandoned me. What would he care if I was in danger ? He wouldn't.

But somehow I wished he would be here now. Strong as he was, he could protect me, and our pup. I wanted him to know. I wanted him to care. I knew I should've hated him but I just couldn't will it in me. The fact that right now I needed him more than ever before wasn't helping either... He had marked me. I hadn't marked him, so the mating wasn't really complete, but it was almost the same. I needed him now. I was vulnerable. I was scared. I missed him. And I loved him...

Before me, Kagome was still shouting and pacing. She wasn't taking the news very well. I had told my friends what Kaede had told me just a moment ago. Now we were all in the hut trying to decide what to do with all of this. Sango and Miroku, who were often dealing with demons even before meating with us, were taking this new fact about me rather calmly, which was a relief. They knew of demons's customs and traditions, so it didn't seem that strange to them. They also didn't look angry at me, in fact it was the total opposite : I had noticed that Miroku was gentler with me and that Sango was practically over-protective. Normally I wouldn't have let them, but now was different. I needed comfort and they were giving it to me, there was no way I would turn them down. As for Shippo, well he was a demon himself so this was natural to him. Really, the only thing that was bothering those three was to know who was the 'other' father of my pup.

The only problem was Kagome. For some reason I couldn't understand, me being pregnant seemed totally unacceptable for her. Right now she was asking Kaede :

"How can he be pregnant ! He's male, for God's sake !"

It's Sango who answered :

"Some male demons are able to bear children and give birth. I'm kind of surprised to see that Inu-Yasha is one of them. They say that a male demon has to be very powerful to be able to conceive"

She smiled and then winked at me. I blushed and lowered my head to hide it.

"So he is pregnant" Kagome pursued with a sigh. "But that means that he had to... to... with someone else..."

She seemed very embarrassed now, and she was as red as my kimono. Kaede intervened :

"He mated, yes. And with another male, I assume ?"

The question was aimed at me, and I nodded hesitantly. From the look Kagome gave me, I suddenly felt like I had done something bad... Add to that, the question had made me think of Sesshomaru, and now I missed him even more... So yes I loved him, damn it ! I couldn't help it ! It was stronger than anything I had ever felt, stronger than what I had felt for Kikyo or... Kagome. And it hurt so much because I knew that he would never in a million years love me back ! I felt my eyes beginning to sting... I didn't know why, maybe because I was pregnant, but right now I was losing control of my emotions and I could feel that I would soon break down...

Suddenly, Kagome exploded. She glared at me and yelled :

"You MATED with another MALE ! How could you ! I mean, not only is it disgusting, but you betrayed me ! Had you left me for Kikyo, I think I could've at least forgive you after a while, but to prefer me another male ! What the hell were you thinking ! I thought you loved ME ! How could you do this to me !"

By now I was shivering and trying hard to hold back the tears I knew would soon break free. I felt bad for hurting Kagome's feelings like that, but what could I do now ? I hadn't meant to mate with Sesshomaru at first, he was only my first choice because I was in heat. I couldn't have asked Kagome, somehow I knew she wouldn't have accepted. It was a demon thing and I didn't want to scare her. Heats can turn a demon crazy if it doesn't have anyone to mate with. I knew I could've jumped Kagome and forced her to mate with me, which was something I didn't wanna do to her. So I ran away, as far from her as I could. When Sesshomaru came to me I was almost passing out from the pain, and at the same time I couldn't because it was too intense. Suddenly he was on me and all I wanted was for him to rip my clothes off and take me savagely. Anything to relieve me from this pain... I didn't mean to fall in love with him. I really didn't. But it had happened. And now I was bearing his pup. All alone. Because he didn't want me.

Sango and the others apparently saw my distress because they immediately took my defense :

"Come on Kagome, Inu-Yasha never promised you anything except protection and friendship" Sango said. "Look, I know you must be sad and I understand, but please don't take out your temper on him !"

"Besides, Inu-Yasha is free to love whoever he wants" said Miroku calmly. "None of us has anything to say about that"

"What are you all crazy !" Kagome pursued. "He can't love another guy, much less mate with him and bear his child ! That's sick !"

"No it's not" Shippo stepped in. "Papa told me when I was little that demons could love other demons even if they were the same gender"

"It is not uncommon for them to mate with someone of the same sex" Kaede agreed, "and even more if one of the two can bear children. Ye have to understand, my child"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing !" Kagome retorted angrily.

She stopped pacing and looked directly at me. I unwillingly flinched under her glare. Then she asked sarcastically :

"So ? May we know who's the happy father of your pup ? Koga maybe ? Or some ramdom demon you just picked up on the road to enjoy yourself ?"

"Kagome !" everybody yelled indignantly.

I on my side didn't want them to know, but I did owe Kagome for betraying her so I thought she at least deserved an honest answer from me. Swallowing hard, I sarted weakly :

"It's... it's..."

"Wait Inu-Yasha, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to" Sango said softly.

But it was too late and the name escaped my lips :

"...Sesshomaru" I breathed out.

Kagome's jaw almost hit the floor and everyone else just froze. I could understand them, after all my brother and me were supposed to hate each other. Then a disgusted look passed on Kagome's face and I suddenly wished I hadn't told her that...

"You mated with your BROTHER ! You left me for SESSHOMARU ! Are you totally insane ! Not only is he the guy who always tries to kill you, but he's also your sibling ! He's blood related ! That's even sicker than the rest ! That's illegal and completely unnatural !"

She turned to look at the others, but if she was hoping for support she was greatly disappointed when Kaede said :

"Sibling mating is also accepted in demon's community. It's rarer but it happens, mostly in noble families to keep the bloodline pure"

"Also" Miroku added, "since Inu-Yasha and Sesshomaru are the last two dog demons alive, it would be logical for them to mate together, if only for the survival of the race, because Inu-Yasha can bear pups"

"Is that why you mated ?" Sango asked me gently. "Or was it because... perhaps... you love each other ?"

"Love each other ? That's ridiculous !" Kagome answered for me. "They always try to kill each other ! And besides, the only one Sesshomaru loves is himself ! And even there I am not sure if it's possible ! That guy is so cold he gives me goose bumps ! He couldn't love someone even if his life depended on it ! And even if he could, why would he love Inu-Yasha ? He hates him !"

That was the final hit on my hurting heart. The dam broke down and tears started to flow freely on my cheeks. I was ashamed of myself but I couldn't stop ; what Kagome had said were my exact thoughts, but to hear it voiced out loud was clawing at my soul and crushing all my hopes.

The others saw my tears and that's when they got angry. Sango came to kneel beside me and took me in her arms. I didn't even try to reject her. Then she turned to Kagome and said :

"Kagome that was just plainly cruel. I think you should get out now"

Kagome stared at her unbelievingly, as if she thought it was some kind of joke.

"Are you asking me to leave ?" she said, sounding totally stunned.

"No" Sango answered. "I'm ordering you to leave. Right now"

Kagome looked at the others ; Shippo glared at her and came to sit in Sango's lap. Miroku glared too and Kaede just stayed silent.

"What if I don't want to leave ?" she said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sango just turned to Miroku and eyed him significantly. He understood and got up, walking toward Kagome. When he was close enough he grabbed her by the wrist, not too harshly but just enough so that she couldn't escape, then he dragged her to the door and they exited the hut. The screams of protestations came after but no one payed attention to it.

Sango then looked down at me and asked, softening her voice :

"Do you love Sesshomaru, Inu-Yasha ?"

I nodded dejectedly.

"...but... he doesn't love me..." I added in a whisper. "He hates me..."

I sniffled and more tears escaped my eyes. Sango just hold me tighter and said :

"That's OK... shhhh... that's OK Inu-Yasha... We'll figure something out... We're all gonna help you alright ? You're not alone in this..."

I nodded and let her rock me. It was good to be taken care of when you were feeling down... I never had much of that in my life before... But as grateful as I was for Sango's help, I wanted Sesshomaru to hold me. I missed his touch more than I would've thought it possible.

Wasn't it ironic ? Me in love with my older brother ? If someone would have told me that two months ago, before that decisive night, I think I could've died of laughter. 'When pigs will fly !' I would have said.

Well presently, somewhere in Japan, there was definitely a pig flying.