Chapter 40

One week went by. One week that Hermione didn't remember. She walked about her rooms on the first day or so, like a zombie. She cried more than anything. She was sick with the pain that Severus had heaped upon her along with everything else in her life.

By the second day, Sylvester forced her to eat. Though she had no appetite. She missed him so much that it hurt. She couldn't accept her life as it was anymore. Her friends turned from her and the man whom she had loved desperately left her alone. She knew that she loved him, but she was angry at him too.

She would cry and then break things that were near her. Her moods became so unpredictable, Elmer stopped speaking and Sylvester continued his work in silence. She lashed out at everyone and everything. Then she cried her apologies. When she couldn't open a jar of jam, she threw the glass across the room and it shattered. Nothing was easy for her anymore. Walking up was an effort she no longer wanted to make.

So three days after Severus left her, Hermione lay in bed. She cried more and then she slipped into an eerie quiet. Her face was drawn and pale. Her eyes were outlined in red and the spark that everyone loved so much was gone. Her hair, unwashed for days, lay flat against her head.

This is how Sylvester found her on the fifth day. He made every effort to pull her from her depression. But she insisted she was fine as she was and refused to move. He handled much of her work for her and left the things she must do in a rapidly growing pile. But she didn't care anymore about anything. She was empty of everything except the pain in her own heart.

Sometimes, a ray of sunshine would creep into the room and she would consider getting out of bed and starting over. But why? He had taken everything with him when he left her. Her passion, her joy and her heart. She no longer wanted to enter the lab. That was a place where too much had happened. The library was tainted for her as well. She stayed where she last saw him. In her rooms, where she could smell him on her pillows. She could feel him in her dreams and that is where she stayed.

She was beginning to feel the anger boil up in her on the seventh day. She cursed him in her mind as well as aloud. She thought he was weak. She thought him a coward. Then she withdrew her words and thoughts and cried apologetically. She blamed herself for not making more of an effort to sooth his worries. She blamed him for walking away when she needed him. But how could she blame him? He left to save her. He never made any promises to her, so she couldn't fault him on that account. But the kisses and the passion were promises unspoken. She felt betrayed by the last friend she had in her life. She no longer hand anyone and Hermione was lost to the rest of the world.

Severus sat in a dark room. He had drank continuously for three days. He had first ventured to London to clear out his house. Next, he went to Hogwarts and left a letter for Minerva. He had said nothing of the problems he and Hermione had been through, only that he was resigning as Hogwarts' current Potions Professor. He was leaving immediately.

Severus then took his belongings and apparated to a small town near the beach. Here, he rented a small house from a muggle man and drank himself into oblivion.

He hated himself. He knew he could have stayed, but for what? His presence had caused her so much grief, he no longer felt that even their good times were enough. He had felt more alive with Hermione than he had since he was a young man. The way she looked at him. The way they were able to work side by side, debating issues, discussing politics and recent inventions in the magical world. He had devoured everything he could about muggle science, it was thrilling for him. He felt whole with her. He felt cared for and he hoped that one day she might come to love him.

But after everything, after the news, the rumors and the gossip, he knew she would never be able to have a normal life with him. He wasn't normal. Nothing about him was. He had felt, for a short time, that there was someone out there who accepted his past without question. What a rare gift it was indeed. Severus didn't want it tainted with regrets. So he left her.

He knew it was cowardly. He knew the time they were together he had given her false hope and comfort. But that was how life was. The young witch would move on and love someone else. He wouldn't however, he never would. He knew that he was given a gift and he was ready to walk away from it, for her.

So here he stayed. Drunk, smelly, fighting his self loathing and the desire to return to her. For the latter was sometimes so strong, he thought he could hear her in his dreams and he wanted nothing more than to see her again. He wanted nothing more than to hold her. But because he did care for her, he had to stay away.

Severus laughed at himself in his drunken stupor. He finally was redeemed through her. But he couldn't keep her. He laughed because it was the final act of betrayal that redeemed him completely. He would never be able to forgive himself if he brought her to ruin for his own needs.

He loved her too much.

Sylvester was worried about his mistress. He tried everything he could to cheer her. He even started being nice to Elmer, for his mistresses sake. But she didn't notice, or if she did, she made no mention of it.

Sylvester knew his job well and did it with ease. But his little round face was always twisted with worry for his mistress. Everything was going well actually. He informed her employers that she was taking a sabbatical. They agreed wholeheartedly. He managed her finances and was satisfied by the numbers. He managed the office and kept production going as well as could be expected. He even discarded the Professor's office space in the library. Whenever she did decide to venture further than her private rooms, he wanted no reminders that would hinder her improvement.

However, Sylvester appreciated the Potions Master and missed him too. He saw his mistresses infatuation with him from the very beginning and was pleased for her. He saw the Potions Master falling in love with his mistress and it made his little heart jump for joy.

He thought that his mistresses dreams had come true. He thought the Potions Master was a perfect mate for her. Sylvester had dreams of his own for little children around and possibly a proper house to care for. But the morning the Potions Master left, Sylvester felt he had failed his mistress whom he loved so much.

He knew the Professor had left to speak with Harry Potter. Sylvester agreed with the decision and decided that the potions Master was a great wizard for doing it. But, the morning came and the Potions Master was gathering his things and Sylvester watched with horror as he wrote his goodbye on a piece of paper. He begged him to stay. He told him his mistress has never been as happy as she was with him. He told him that his mistress would be heart broken. But the Potions Master left, without a word.

Sylvester didn't care what the rest of the wizards and witches were saying. He knew his mistress needed the Potions Master now. Like a house elf needed a master, she was tied to him. But he had broken the tie that bound them and she was now without her intended mate.

Sylvester watched her night and day. It was on the seventh day of her confinement that he had a wonderful idea. He needed help.

So he called for reinforcements.

A/N: What's this? What is that clever elf, Sylvester up to?