Chapter 43
Harry stood in the dark gravel road. The sea gulls cried in the air and the ground crunched beneath his trainers. The wind had picked up, so Harry wrapped his arms around himself for warmth. As he walked he listen to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.
It hadn't been hard to find him. It had taken a matter of hours and an informant at the Daily Prophet was able to supply him with the information he needed. Snape was still taking the paper, so they had a record of his current address.
Harry approached the cottage door and hesitated. Better have his wand out, just in case. He saw there was a light on inside, but no sound came from the little cottage. He knocked.
There was no answer.
He knocked again.
Just as he was losing his nerve, he heard heavy footsteps falling in the cottage. They stopped right outside of the door. When he didn't open the door, Harry banged on the door, loudly, just for good measure.
The door opened.
Harry stood, the sea wind flinging his tussled hair haphazardly around his head, and stared at his former Potions Professor. Their eyes met and Harry knew his own disgust was rivaled by that of the man standing before him. His hair was stringy and long. His face was pale and thin. His lips were curved into a sneer he reserved only for Harry.
"What do you want?" he said in a somewhat slurred but low voice. Harry sneered back at him and stepped forward.
"We need to talk Snape." Harry waited for an invitation that never came.
"I have nothing to say to you Potter. Now leave my home at once…or else." Harry saw behind the potions master, a table lit by a single lamp. On it was a pint of Firewhiskey and a single glass. So the Professor was a lush now?
"It's about Hermione, Snape. You need to let me in." Harry watched for a reaction and he was awarded one. Severus' eyes widened a bit and searched Harry's face.
"She is safe, if that is what you're wondering. But she not alright. Are you going to let me in?" The wind picked up and lifted Severus' hair as well and he shuddered from the cold. With a sigh and a final glare, he stepped back from the doorway and Harry entered Severus' house.
Severus closed the door behind him and stalked to the lone chair by the fire. He did not conjure another one, but poured himself another glass and sipped the Firewhiskey. Harry stood and surveyed the small domicile. It was clean, but very small. Two doors were on the right side, that Harry guessed were his private quarters and bathroom.
"Well?" Severus asked. Harry stood still and placed his hands on his hips.
"Well…this place is ghastly, Snape. Seriously…" Severus glared at him over the rim of his glass. Harry shrugged his shoulders and moved closer to the fire. He still had his wand in his hand and he twirled it around his fingers as he spoke.
"Snape, I am not here on a visit from the Ministry. I am here because I saw Hermione. She told me…everything." Harry waited to see if Snape would react, he didn't. "Yeah…she was real torn up over you leaving. Her house elf, Sylvester, is real worried about her. The mirror too…I hate that thing." Severus snorted.
"Alas…the impossible has happened. You and I agree on something." Harry's mouth contorted into a half smile. Yeah…Elmer was a piece of work.
"So…are you going to ask how she is?" Harry asked.
"I assumed that was what you came to tell me." Harry shot him a impatient look. He could tell he was more than a little drunk. His words were slightly slurred and slow.
"Well, yeah. She looks terrible. She's thin, because Sylvester says she wont eat. She hasn't left her house at all! All she does is cry…" Harry was looking into the fire, he missed the look of pain that fleetingly graced Severus' face.
A quiet moment slipped by. Each of them lost in their own inner turmoil, but each of them oddly satisfied that someone else was aware of their own pain.
"Do you love her?" Severus asked Harry. Harry frowned and bit his lower lip. He was still facing the fire as he spoke.
"I thought I did. But…no. And yes. I love her like a sister. Or…a very good friend. The best kind of friend. The kind of friend I would do anything for. Like coming to look for you." Harry turned to face Severus who was staring into his glass at the amber liquid. "Do you? Love her?"
"That is none of your business."
"I think it is. She is my business, Snape. Her happiness is my business. Unfortunately, you are the key to her happiness. I want to hear it from you why you left."
"I assume she already told you why I left. You read the papers. You saw what they were doing to her. I have had that in my life for a very long time now. But she…she is above all that nonsense.'
"She's above a lot of things Snape. Not very many people deserve her." The two men appraised each other in silence.
"It was the best thing for her, my departure." Severus said finally. Harry nodded.
"You might be right. But you see, I don't know if you know this about Hermione, she's very stubborn." Severus snorted. He knew very well how stubborn the witch was. "She insists on loving you."
Severus couldn't look at him. He stared everywhere but at Harry as Harry searched the elder wizard's face for something, anything, to help his case.
"You know she would forgive you….if you go back." Harry finally said. Severus looked up at Harry then and sneered. "You can't do this to her!" Harry's temper got the best of him. He turned and faced the elder wizard full on and glared at him. Severus lazily watched his reaction.
"I can do what I please, Mr. Potter. Is this all you came to tell me? For if it is…you have wasted your time. I have made my decision and I will not discuss this with you any longer."
"You will listen to me, Snape, for once, you will hear what I have to say. Hermione, Merlin knows why, loves you! You made her happy. She suffered so that she could be with you. She suffers now Snape…daily." Severus blanched at hearing his own words thrown back at him. "I am asking you…not as a friend, because that we will never be. But as two people who have feelings for Hermione. She deserves you. You deserve her. Merlin's beard I can not believe I am here pleading with you to come back, but I am. I wronged my friend and I am trying to do the right thing."
"You Gryffindors and the 'right thing'. Don't you think I know it was wrong? I did, but I also know that It was the right thing to leave her. She will find someone else. Maybe it will even be you Potter, who knows…" Severus took a long drink from his glass and closed his eyes. All this talking was giving him a headache.
"I always thought you were stronger than this. Instead of sitting here, in the dark, drinking your mind into oblivion. Right….maybe you were right to leave. Hermione needs someone who will stand by her and not run like a coward."
"Coward? You dare-"
"Yeah…coward! You left just when things got hard. I was wrong, you don't deserve her. Not like this. Until you decide that her happiness is more important than your own, you don't deserve her."
"Ah…the pupil becomes the teacher, hmm? You are lecturing me on not drinking my dark shadows away? Look at me Potter, this is you!"
"Then at least I am man enough to admit when I am wrong. I don't plan to be you anymore."
"Going to run and cling to the little Weasley's skirts are we?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I do not want to end up alone, drunk and regretting the only good thing that has come across my path in a long time. Good luck, Snape. I think you're really going to need it."
Harry walked past the half drunk man in the chair and slammed the door closed behind him. He stood, listening to the waves crash on the shore again. This time they were clearer. He closed his eyes and let the breeze whip around his face. He breathed in the clean, brisk, salt air.
He began to walk down the road, back to anywhere but here. He wouldn't tell Hermione where Snape was. Not while he was like this. It was better for her to allow the pain to swallow her and spit her out again. She would return from her darkness bruised, but alive and whole. He would be there for his friend and support her no matter what. What he was also sure about, was that his life forever changed this night. No more drinking. No more brooding. No more dark shadows.
Tomorrow was a new day. One day, Hermione would see it too. And a very small part of him, despite the history, wanted Snape to find that light too. They had suffered through death, war and Hell, only to be the survivors that came up on opposite sides. Harry the Hero. Snape the villain that got away. In some ways, Harry began to pity Snape. He understood his pain more now than he ever did. Perhaps, through time, Snape would become someone worth knowing.
A/N: That was one interesting Snape vs. Harry moment. They seem so similar, yet vastly different. Please review!