9. Voices From the Past
Shen paused, gazing down. He couldn't believe he'd do that someday. Slowly, he raised his head again and looked at the great stone wall that towered in front of him. Actually, he had never cared for this place. On the contrary. He really hated it. He had always felt like an outcast in the family, so why should he care about the history of his relatives? But if he wanted to know the whole truth, he would have to come here to find solid evidence of a brother's existence.
The white peacock stood near the Gongmen Palace, which he had once destroyed and which had been rebuilt. He could not hope for any records from the city archives because Lord Xiang had burned almost everything when he had attacked the city a few years ago. Fortunately, however, he hadn't plundered the family chamber. It was too well hidden for that. Even the opening mechanism could not be found until you knew where it was. The white peacock walked along the wall until he came across a wall relief that was shaped like a peacock. There he pressed on a certain stone in the masonry. In the next moment, the stone wall moved aside with a loud groan and gave way to a large, dark corridor.
Shen took the lantern he had brought with him into the wing and went into the tunnel, which led downwards. Shen's steps slowed. The walls here were bare and bleak. Only towards the end of the corridor, the picture started to change. Painted and chiseled little peacock figures appeared on the stones. Actually, it was just male peafowls with open peacock wheels who had been painted with different colors. At last, the white peacock had reached the end of the tunnel. There he put the lantern down and looked at another stone wall with a trace of awe. A particularly large peacock was pictured here. He was thrice as large as Shen, had his peacock wheel open and his gaze was directed downwards as if he wanted to see who was trying to gain entry into the room. Shen had never asked who this was supposed to represent. Probably a great father of his. The peacock did not want to waste any more time and took out a peacock feather that he had to tear out beforehand. And for a good reason. With the long peacock feather in his wings, he walked to a long flat stone, hidden in the floor on the side. There he put the feather down, because the mechanism was only triggered when a peacock feather reached a certain weight. There was a cracking noise behind the wall. The opening mechanism was unlocked. Shen counted a few peacock figures on the wall and pressed a specific painted peacock figure on the stone. This caused the large stone slab to rise and revealed the space behind it. Shen picked up the lantern again and went to his ancestral archives. The room was immeasurably large. Painted pictures of the former families and rulers hung on the walls. One of them caught his attention immediately. He held the lantern higher and looked into the painted faces of his parents in the family portrait.
Shen twisted his beak bitterly. "Don't look at me like that!" he hissed as if the images were alive. "It's just your fault!" He sighed. "Why am I talking to you? You don't talk to me either."
He looked around hastily, just to make sure that no one was watching him. Then he wiped the tears from his face. He hated crying as a grown man.
He turned away from the picture and walked past the tall wooden shelves crammed with scrolls. Whether birth certificates or all kinds of records, everything had to do with his family. Shen thought for a moment. Strictly speaking, he had to continue this tradition of recording. He decided to talk to Soothsayer later about it. He searched the compartments quietly. Since only his family's records were stored here, he didn't have to look for long. Nothing related to his family had happened since the death of his parents. He was the last of his parents. Or at least that was what he thought recently, but none of his distant relatives had shown up after that. For whatever reason. Not even friends. Sometimes Shen wondered if his parents had any friends at all. He only vaguely remembered visits from others, but these were only acquaintances for a moment, which he then quickly forgot, or even wanted to forget. Although... Shen brooded again. He might not remember close friends, but he could remember arguments. He remembered exactly because he had never seen his father becoming violent. Except for one incident. There he was... Shen frowned. How old who was he there? He must have been under 10 years. Or even under 5 years? In any case, he remembered the one time where his father had fought against another peacock in the back yard. Shen had looked out the window at that moment. His father had wrestled with the other peacock on the ground. In the next moment, his mother had come running up and had tried to pull his father away from the other peacock. After she finally had made it, the two peacocks only had yelled at each other.
"We have nothing more to say to each other!" Lord Liang shouted at the other peacock.
"No, absolutely nothing more!" the other peacock snapped back in annoyance. "Just hide here with your kung fu and your fine family! Although, your son doesn't look any better either…"
From then on, Shen hadn't wanted to listen anymore. He just ran away after that. He had only heard his father cursing something in the background. Shen didn't know anything after that, only that he had never seen this peacock since then. He couldn't quite remember the color of this peacock. Was it green or blue? No, maybe even with yellow spots? Shen shook his head. That wasn't important at the moment. All of this family stuff around him seemed to affect him so much that even his mind dug into the past. There was only one past he wanted to know.
Finally, he found what he was looking for. He pulled a scroll that included the year in question. Quickly, he unrolled it until he found the part. In a low voice he read aloud, "In the time of Lord Liang and Lady Ai, a second son was born to them, white in shape..." Shen scanned the text. Or maybe there was something the old goat hadn't told him. But in this recording too, the result remained the same. "... and had never been seen again," concluded the report. Shen was going through the rest of the records of his father and his funeral. But even to the last line, his brother was never mentioned again.
Disappointed, he struck the parchment with his feathered fist. At least now he had proof that it had all really happened. Sighing, he put the scroll away again, picked up the lantern and left the archive. He had lost track of time, so he was worried about missing the ship to Japan.
The old goat's house was not too far from the palace. Shen got there a little out of breath. The goat was sweeping the hallway with a broom when she greeted him with a smile. "If you haven't been in the house for months, then so much dust collects," she smiled. "My great-nephew will be here soon. Then he can help me a little better."
"Is the ship there yet?" Shen asked without going into her cleaning business.
"The ship will leave in two hours," she replied slowly. "So you still have enough time to eat something." She put the broom aside. "And how was it in the archive? Have you made sure again that I haven't withheld anything from you?"
Shen raised his eyebrows. "How do you know I was in the archive?"
She stroked his wing briefly. "You have dust on your feathers." She laughed. "Come in."
With that, she disappeared into the house. Shen followed reluctantly. He had hardly ever been in there. Especially since the goat moved into the palace, she only kept all sorts of odds and ends in the rooms. Shen looked around examiningly. Here and there he ran his finger feathers over a piece of furniture and rubbed the dust between them. She was right. A house cleaning was really needed here. His gaze fell on a painting that showed the young goat and another billy goat next to her.
"Who is that?" Shen asked curiously.
The goat had pulled out a kettle and was looking in Shen's direction. "Oh, a picture of me and my husband."
Shen looked puzzled. "You were married?"
"Only a year and a half," the goat explained, putting on the kettle. "I lost him very early. After that I never married again."
"Really not?"
"No, Shen."
"Why not?"
She was silent for a moment. "Maybe because I had never met another man like him. Or maybe I would have felt guilty if I let someone else take his place." She took out a box of tea leaves, paused for a moment, then she looked back at Shen. "Could you imagine someone else taking Yin-Yu's place?"
The white peacock was silent and avoided her gaze. Maybe he just didn't want to think that Yin-Yu would eventually be gone. Shen stood there in silence for a moment. Only when he felt the goat's hooves on his wing, he thawed again. She looked at him warmly. "Come on, let's have some tea."
She guided him to a pile of pillows, where she told Shen to sit down. The white peacock stayed there until she returned to him with a tray and the tea.
At first, they were silent while she poured the tea. Shen felt a little awkward. He felt compelled to say something, and now he didn't know about what. Now they had the opportunity to talk in peace. Though Shen didn't know what to talk about. It had seldom happened in the past few years. Finally, he struggled to begin a conversation. "You said you knew or you saw my brother," he began.
The goat, who sat across from him, nodded. "Yes."
"How was he?" Shen asked. "Did he... also have the same problem as me?"
She stirred her teacup. "You mean the feeling of being different?"
"Just answer my question."
The goat sipped her hot tea and thought about it. "Well, like I said, he was next to no different from you. Only one thing was different..."
Shen leaned forward. "And what?"
"Well, he was good at kung fu."
The white peacock inclined his head skeptically. "Better than me?"
The goat raised her eyebrows. Shen had never been that good at kung fu. At least not under 5 years. But she did not want to denounce it and take her explanation in a different direction. "He tried to be good at everything. Whether in everyday life or in training. Just like you, he too was trained in kung fu, as has been tradition since the masters arrived in your father's day. But I realized that he wasn't doing it for a love of kung fu. He just wanted to be good. He wanted to make everything perfect." She sighed softly. "Maybe he was hoping that your mother would look at him for more than five seconds then."
Shen was silent. He knew how much he wanted his parents' approval, but that was how he had never known. "Didn't my father ever talk about him after he returned home?" he wanted to know.
The goat's gaze wandered briefly to the ceiling before answering. "Well, he had spoken little after his return. He had been pretty weak, even though he was still in good shape. After all, he wasn't quite that old. So it was a shock to all of us when he died so suddenly. And then his friend, who had accompanied him to Gongmen City. To be honest, I didn't find him that likeable, even though he helped your father get home. He even took care of the funeral, he even arranged a doctor. He didn't want me to get near your father's dead body…" She looked at Shen, embarrassed. She had deviated from the subject again. She shook her head. "But whatever. It's no use crying over spilled milk. In any case, he hadn't said a single word about your brother. He... he just told me..."
Shen's eyes narrowed. "What did he say?"
She waved her teacup in her hooves. "Well, that... if you should return... that I should then keep an eye on you... so that nothing happens to you."
The peacock's eyes widened in amazement. The goat looked down. "I guess I didn't do this job that well, did I?"
They looked at each other in silence. Finally, she avoided his gaze and blew over her steaming tea. Shen did the same and let the soothing scent of the tea leaves sink in.
"And you are also sure that you want to go there all by yourself?"
They were standing at the harbor and the goat was reluctant to let the former prince go.
"I'll be fine," Shen assured her. "Wouldn't be my first solo effort."
"But even before you had someone," the goat pointed. "Even if it was just a pack of wolves."
Shen sighed heavily. Sometimes he still thought of the wolf pack, or at least of having a new army behind him as a kind of bodyguard. He shook his head. He could always worry about that later.
"I have to go."
Just as he was about to run towards the ship, the soothsayer was still holding his wing.
"I wish you the best of luck," she said. "And always eat well, think about your strength."
Inwardly, Shen rolled his eyes. Sometimes she behaved worse than a mother. Finally, she slowly let go of his wing. Shen was relieved when he finally boarded the ship and left the harbor.
She waved to him. Shen looked around just to make sure no one was watching him. Then he raised his wing, barely visible, and waved back, albeit with a serious expression. It seemed to him a little ridiculous to say goodbye like a little child. He was still a high lord. The old goat didn't blame him. She stayed in the harbor until the ship could no longer be seen.
With sadness, she searched the horizon. It was just like then. She closed her eyes sadly. Even then, when the white peacock had to leave town, she had watched him for a long time until he could no longer be seen. It had hurt her that her fortune-telling had brought such misfortune to the family. Was that why she felt obliged to speak to Shen's father and he prayed her a favor in return? What was the last thing his father said about his son Shen? Just before he died?
"Whenever it is in your power," the blue peacock said in a weak voice, "watch over my son."
The old goat looked down wistfully. "I cannot acquit him of his offense."
The blue peacock put his wings on her hooves and looked at her intently. "It's enough that you do not harm him. Do it for my wife, too."
The goat shifted her weight on the walking stick that it bent.
"Oh, Liang," she sighed. "I wish, you could be here now."
Shen leaned against the railing and looked out over the open sea. He had been so fixated on China for years that he hadn't thought so much about what it looked like beyond the Chinese borders. It had never drawn him that far. There were so many other countries that he had only read about in history books until now. And now he had to go out into the big wide world, where his brother had been hiding for all these years. The peacock propped his head on his wings and imagined how his brother would look at him when they met. He couldn't hide his identity from him. They were almost identical looking twins. He would immediately notice who he was dealing with. This idea gave Shen a little stomach ache. What would happen? He checked his feather knives under his feathers. He even took his lance sword on board. Actually, he didn't want to let them be used, but what if Dao didn't give him any other choice...?
At that moment, a growl of stomach made him sit up and take notice. Shen raised his head instantly. That was...
With a wary eye, he passed a row of barrels. And in one of them a muffled murmur reached him.
The peacock's anger rose in the feathers. In a flash, he grabbed the barrel with his foot and kicked it. The barrel rolled across the deck and slammed against the rail. The lid popped open and the face of a panda peeked out.
"Oh man. Getting into a barrel is easy, but getting out of there again..."
Po was still very dizzy from rolling the barrel. With difficulty, he tried to wriggle out of the wooden barrel. His arms were free, only his stomach was stuck.
In the next moment, the barrel was yanked upwards and stood upright again. In front of a white, angry-looking peacock, however.
Startled, Po ducked his head. "I think, I'll go back down the barrel."
In vain, he tried to pull in his stomach, but an escape route into the hiding place was impossible at the moment.
Shen clenched his fists. At some point, he would kill that panda!
"I demand that you get down from here immediately!" Shen ordered loudly.
"Down there?" Po looked over the rail. "But Shen, we're sailing in the middle of the sea... AH!"
Shen kicked him and Po clapped with the barrel into the water. The panda came back to the surface with a snort. "Hey Shen! Shen! You can't just leave me down here!"
"The current will transport you to China again," the peacock replied half-heartedly. "And hopefully far enough away from me."
The ship drove on and took no notice of the panda in the barrel. "Hey, Shen, you can't just let me drift at sea without a real ship. SHEN!"
But the peacock turned deaf and raised his beak to the wind. "Not this time - panda."
Disappointed, Po gave up calling. The ship was almost past him. The panda paddled laboriously towards it and was just able to cling to the stern.
"Oh, man," Po muttered, covering his mouth. "I hope, I won't get seasick."
For the remainder of the voyage, the panda was silent as the ship sailed closer and closer to the land of the rising sun.