Third Kiss: Loneliness
Genre: Tragedy/Angst
Theme: Pregnancy and miscarriage
Kimi ga namida no toki ni wa (In the time when you are shedding tears)
Boku ga soba ni iru kara (I'll be by your side)
Hanare banare no yoru datte, yeah (Even during the nights we're apart, yeah)
Boku wa soba ni iru kara (I'll be by your side.)
Soba ni iru Kara (By Your Side), sung by AMADORI
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She had miscarried yet again, and it was the third time in a row. Her husband had been summoned when the midwives feared that she and the baby were walking the line between life and death, and he had arrived soon.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly after banishing everyone from the room, which smelt of sweat, blood, and death. The corpse of the half-formed baby had already been taken away, and she could only stare at the ceiling. At his words, she turned away from him, futilely wishing that, just this once, he would show that he cared about her.
"I'll be back in three days time," he said. She only nodded lifelessly, hopes crushed again. All he wanted was a suitable heir, who could inherit his gigantic business empire. He left the room after bestowing a kiss on her forehead, although she felt absolutely nothing except the cold which seemed to surround her habitually. She barely saw him, and the last time she had met him was when he had impregnated her. She knew that he would want to try again when he next came, as a woman was most fertile after miscarrying a baby. She knew that one night spent with him would be more than enough, judging from the number of babies abandoned on their doorstep, supposedly his children. After taking in the first three, she had snapped, and refused to allow any more into the house. Fenrir, Hel and Jormungand usually avoided her, unless necessary. She barely knew her own husband.
Her cerise hair enfolded her in a curtain of silk cascading like a waterfall, and her pinkish red eyes were tired and sad, containing none of the cheerfulness and joy she had possessed when she had first married into the Jashin family. She had had enough already. This wasn't her, wasn't how she meant to be.
And she knew that it was time to let go of everything.
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The tall, dark blond-haired man opened the door, only to find his wife sitting on the rail of the balcony, facing him.
"Don't do anything foolish… we can always try for another baby, you know…" he coaxed, advancing towards her slowly with hands outstretched in a placating manner. "It has nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with you," she replied tiredly. She just wanted to rest.
"What do you mean?" he stopped short, frowning in puzzlement.
She smiled a beatific smile, and then tipped over backwards, falling off the balcony in a graceful arc.
"Goodbye, Loki," her last words reached his ears faintly as he crossed the room in a few quick bounds and attempted to grab her wrists. It was no use, as she had already fallen too far.
"Mayura!" he screamed, hoping that she would somehow survive.
For her, time seemed to slow down. She had been so happy when Loki had proposed to her with a beautiful solitaire diamond ring, in a romantic restaurant filled with candles, with a pianist playing his instrument softly, enhancing the enticing atmosphere of the place. She had smiled so radiantly in their wedding photographs. He had looked so handsome in that black and white tuxedo she had chosen for him, and she had looked equally beautiful in that antique white lace and satin, floor-length dress he had picked for her. She had used to thrill to his touch. Everyone complimented them on how well they complemented each other, on how good they looked together. He hadn't been a fantastically successful businessman then, and he had had time to spend with her, time that he spent on work nowadays. She had been neglected, and she was tired of it. Nevertheless, even though she saw him only about once a year, she still loved him whole-heartedly – enough to let go of him.
And so even as she fell endlessly towards the unforgiving packed soil, she smiled to him as she saw him reach his hands out as though to catch her by the hands, and hoped that he saw her last smile to him.
Loki heard a loud thud from where he stood paralyzed on the balcony she had fallen from, and the splintering of bones. Blood pooled around his wife's delicate form, as the smile remained fixed on her face.
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It was said that there was no body to bury. The servants whispered that their lady had decided to give up her life because the master had neglected her so. They gossiped that Lady Mayura had somehow arranged for her body to be taken away before committing suicide.
Loki alone knew the truth. It was his fault, and the blame fell squarely upon his shoulders. As he stared out of the window in his study, the tears refused to fall. He had caused the death of his best friend, no matter how indirectly, and now he had forced his wife to choose suicide as a way to get away from him. It was his fault, and his alone. He could only pray to the gods that Mayura was safe wherever she was, and hope that she was in a better place, where she could be happy and enjoy being herself again.
He also prayed that he could someday see her again, see her smile, laugh, cry, dream, hope, and feel her love.
But it was already too late to regret now, because she was already gone, and he would never see her in this lifetime again.
He only wished that he could say he was sorry…
As he stared out at the sky, he could have sworn he saw an impression of rhythmically beating white wings, and the smile of a lovely roseate-haired maiden.
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A/N: I tried to make it a little longer. Do you like it? It's quite sad, huh…
A big fat thank you to all who reviewed last chapter.