Seedfic: After Third Impact, Shinji and Asuka are the last humans on Earth. Can they repopulate the human race--or will Shinji die trying? ShinjiAsuka, Humor/Romance.
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Angels, of course, do not speak. With one notable exception, they communicate telepathically in a language called Ur. Just as the Adam Kadmon is the blueprint for all life, Ur is the blueprint for all mortal languages—and like Adam, it's a great deal more complex than its successors. Every Word (with a capital W) of Ur is not only a perfect description of the concept it represents, but a complete reference of all related concepts and a record of every time it has ever been, or will ever be, used or invoked in any way.
Humans are, as a rule, unable to pronounce or understand this intricate dialect, but since they are descended from the Angels, a few Words occasionally leak out of the human collective unconscious and into individual minds, having much the same effect on the brains they touch as a worm program has on a computer. Exposure to these chance bits of celestial dialogue produces convulsions, spontaneous bleeding from the wrists, side, and forehead, and the reflexive utterance of whatever Word has entered the victim's mind--and since a given Word in Ur contains more information than a MAGI supercomputer and is utterly incomprehensible to the human intellect, rendering it in any earthly language reduces it to an hours-long stream of gibberish.
This particular gibberish, however, is eerily coherent, often comprised of whole sentences in seemingly random languages that the speaker has usually never heard, and occasionally holds prophecies appropriate to the nature of the Word. Religious authorities refer to this phenomenon as 'speaking in tongues,' and it is responsible for many of the strangest concepts in human history--love, for example, was first introduced to mankind in 24,682 BC, by a Sumerian mystic who explained the whole idea in alternating bands of Ebonics and Yiddish to a bewildered audience, and was promptly stoned to death. His last words were as follows:
"… And lo, thirty-thizzizzle turns of the seasons from this fine, fine, morning, a bunch of meshuggenah white men shall bust a cap upon the world, and from the kvetch and the ho in red gatkes must spring anew the multitizzle. From the oceans of Tang shall come the—hey! Ouch! Whazzup, y'all? Oy gevald! Stop hitting m—"
So yes, one could say Shinji probably loved Asuka—but then again, the whole reason they were lying on that beach in the first place was because another prophecy had been wrong.
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Well, this seedfic has officially taken root--Chapter One of Last Man On Earth will be out shortly!