She sits and stares at the door, her legs curled under herself on the mattress. Her heart has slowed to a calm murmur and she has lost count of the seconds, minutes, hours since he left. The nauseous fear that had knotted itself in her stomach has dulled but her palms still feel too warm in the cool air. He'd kissed her. She'd kissed him back. That was the simple truth of the matter, she had wanted him, she'd shown him how much she'd wanted him and now it was something that she couldn't take back. She couldn't take that away from him, but she couldn't deny it to herself any longer either. She realizes now that by walking away she has sent him to lie in the arms of another woman, Gemma. Gemma, that barrier that divides them, for him Gemma is hope, for her Gemma is a threat.
As the reality of the evening catches up with her she feels the first tears escape from her eyes and she swipes at them frantically. Now is not the time to allow emotions to take over her, she needs her dignity and strength to be able to face him again. She'll need all of the strength that she has to deal with her next encounter with the young beautiful woman who shares his bed. Somewhere along the line her respect and admiration for him has transformed into something more real, more terrifying than anything she has ever experienced, and she decides that now is the time to end this foolish fantasy. It can never work, she should have forced him away the moment his lips touched her own. She reaches up and gently touches her fingers to her lips, imagining that she can still feel his gentle warm kisses. Another tear falls from her eyes unbidden, and she knows that she is tired, tired of the lies, tired of the fear… But most of all she is exhausted from the fighting, continuously trying to be strong in his eyes. Falling back onto the bed she closes her eyes and allows sleep to come over her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He sits in the darkness of his apartment, somehow he is strangely comforted by the blackness surrounding him. His fingertips burn with the recent memory of her flesh under them and he lets a gentle sigh out. Tonight he'd over stepped his boundary, with her… with his own morals. He'd never once been unfaithful to a woman, but with her, she was all he could see. His need had been burning within him, the need to touch her, to feel her melt into him and at the time it was worth any guilt that he would later feel. Sitting here now, the guilt was starting to creep in, only ten feet away from his current position lay a woman who had earlier confessed love for him… A woman who was perfect in every way but one. She wasn't Temperance Brennan.
He lays his head back on the sofa and folds his hands over his eyes. He has an indescribable feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach, not something due to the guilt of his recent actions, something deeper than that, the fear of loss.. Of losing something that he has only just begun to discover. Temperance Brennan. He knows exactly what that name means to him now. It means complication, pain, desire, need… it means love. He swings his legs up onto the sofa, knowing that he doesn't deserve a place next to the warm body occupying his bed, instead he closes his eyes to dream of swollen lips and the fire in her eyes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She wakes up to the shrill song of her telephone. Her eyes adjust to the light streaming through her forgotten blinds and she groans inwardly as she fumbles for the receiver. "Hello……No thank you, I already have a new kitchen." Hanging the phone on its cradle she lies back in the bed and thinks of the previous evening, of the dreams filled with lust and passion that occupied her sleep "Get a grip Temperance!" She swings her legs out of the bed and potters into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, coming back through from the kitchen she hears a gentle knock from her door. She puts her coffee down on the sideboard and goes to answer. On opening the door she is surprised to see him there and makes no move to invite him in. Her emotions are still raw from the previous evening and she needs more time to build up her defenses, looking at him however she can see the same raw emotion etched into his features. He looks past her into the apartment and then nods slowly as he understands her reluctance to allow him any further into her territory.
"I just came by to apologise Bones. I took it too far, I took advantage of your trust, your respect." She meets his eyes again and nods before lowering her eyes to the floor quickly, afraid that he will read her as easily as he always does. He puts a gentle finger under her chin and lifts her face until her eyes lock with his. "I just want to hear it from you.." The confusion spreads over her features quickly. "I want you to tell me that you don't feel it too, it's the last you'll hear of it from me." Taking his finger from beneath her chin she struggles for the words, feeling them hanging from the tip of her tongue but refusing to leave her lips, her breath hitches slightly as tears threaten to form again and her throat feels dry. She shakes her head slowly, and he nods in understanding, his eyes immediately lowering to the ground. She realizes his mistake in the meaning of that shake of her head but she doesn't have the strength to correct him. She allows him to leave, believing that she doesn't want him, believing that she doesn't feel the same gravitational pull towards him that he is feeling for her. As she closes the door and leans against it her head pounds. Relationships before have never been so complicated, she's never felt this confused before, in fact…she doesn't think she has ever felt before and now that she is finally starting to feel she is terrified.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thanks for all the reviews. Reviews allow the wheels to keep turning.