27. Sibling Wishes

It didn't surprise him that he could walk on two legs again. All he knew was that he knew this place. He knew every corner of his palace in Mendong City. Every niche, every hidden passage. He walked aimlessly through the corridors. He froze when a large door lay not far in front of him. A dark figure was standing in front of it, slowly turning towards him.

Xiang flinched as she grinned at him.

"Where are you going?" she sneered.

The blue peacock swallowed hard. "I want to go outside," he said in a choked voice.

The black and purple peahen giggled darkly. "But not today." Slowly, she walked towards him. "It's raining outside." She stopped. "Or do you want to stand in the rain?"

Xiang shook his head violently.

Suddenly, she grabbed his wing and dragged him to the door. "Come on," she urged him. "You want to go out? Well, then you can go out."

Xiang broke away from her and turned around. But no sooner had he run a few steps than another figure appeared in the hallway.

"You heard your mother," another woman's voice whispered. Xiang froze in fear again when his aunt Chiwa jumped in front of him, cracking the floor.

The peacock saw himself helplessly encircled between the two women. They lurked in front of him and behind him like hungry predators. They were just waiting to rip him to pieces.

Xiang saw another door on the left. He ran towards it and pushed it open. But instead of arriving on a corridor, as expected, a large balcony stretched out in front of him. The parapet was low enough that he could see over it. There it went so deep that you could no longer see the ground.

Fearfully, he backed away from the edge. But no sooner had he turned around than they were with him again. They reached out their finger feathers like greedy claws and pushed him back to the edge of the balcony.

"You want to fly today?" his mother asked in a spiteful tone.

Xiang crouched on the ground against the parapet. "No! I don't want to fly!"

"You heard him," his aunt Chiwa teased. "He said fly."

Xiang pressed himself even tighter to the ground as both peahens each pulled a knife out of their wings.

His mother looked down at him with an evil grin. "Then you are allowed to fly today."

She grabbed him by his head feathers and yanked him up.

"Come on, up with you!" she commanded.

But Xiang clung to the ground. "I want to be in the rain!" he begged.

"Okay, it's already raining downstairs," Chiwa said cheerfully.

Xiang felt several tugs as the two women cut off every feather he had. They trimmed not only his wings, but even his peacock tail.

"You don't need the feathers any more anyway, do you?" his mother scoffed and threw them over the parapet, where they disappeared like old leaves in the depths.

In the next moment, Xiang felt grabbed on both shoulders and they tied a long cloth around his body, pinning his wings to his body.

"Ready for the flight?" his aunt whispered in his ear.

Xiang braced his feet against the ground. But both peahens just lifted him up and he stood on the parapet. Laughing in their throats, they pushed him in the back. Xiang fell forward into the abyss. The blue peacock cried out. He couldn't see the ground. Everything was black. Suddenly, he hit hard floor.

Liu blinked sleepily. Only very faintly, she heard murmured sounds. But then she felt the big bed shaking violently. She groped beside her. The egg lay untouched next to her, but then someone punched her in the ribs from the other side. Tired, she sat up and shook her head. When she finally managed to keep her eyes open longer, she noticed a violent movement next to her. Immediately, she was awake.

"Xiang! Wake up! You're dreaming something really bad!" She left her place and crawled over to him, but the blue peacock just accidentally kicked her away with his foot. Liu didn't scold. She knew his fits of fear when he had nightmares. Determined, she threw herself over him and held him tight.

"No, I don't want to fly!" he whimpered.

"Xiang, please, you're just dreaming."

But the blue peacock was deaf to her pleas. He rolled onto his side so violently that Liu slid over him and almost fell out of the bed. She struggled to regain her balance and retreated to her side of the bed. Meanwhile, Xiang tossed and turned so violently that he got tangled in his bed blanket. Liu reached forward and tried to help him out again. But the more she tugged at him, the more he moved to the edge of the bed.

"Xiang, please! Please wake up!" she begged.

At that moment, the peacock pushed off from her.

"Xiang, watch out!"

But Liu could no longer hold him up. The blue peacock slid over the edge of the bed and landed on the floor. Liu was carried away unintentionally and she landed on his stomach.

She was terrified for a moment, looking down at Xiang who was lying on his back, breathing heavily. At least he finally blinked. Then he looked at her with wide eyes. Then he realized what had happened. Still, the relief that it had only been a dream was a next shock.

Liu gave him a wry smile. "Everything okay?"

But instead of answering, he pressed his face against her chest, buried his finger feathers in her shirt and began to sob uncontrollably.

She felt him tremble and stroked his back comfortingly. "Was it so bad?"

Again, he didn't answer and Liu didn't push him to say anything.

They stayed like that for a while, until Liu started coaxing him again after his crying stopped a bit. "Xiang, it's okay, you're safe."

"This isn't my house!" he yelled as he pulled his head back out of her shirt.

"We are in the Valley of Peace," she replied softly. "Don't you remember? We came here a few weeks ago."

Xiang said nothing. Though he had stopped crying, a small sob still escaped him when he exhaled.

Liu hugged his face tenderly. "Relax, I'll get you something to drink."

She helped him up, supporting him on the side and hoisting him onto the bed. Because of his long tail feathers, she couldn't put him down immediately and quickly, she adjusted his feathers. After Xiang finally sat on the bed, she left him briefly and disappeared into an adjoining room. Although they were married to each other, she had not shed her caring responsibilities to him. She really didn't mind being a fine lady to take care of everyday things. She even prepared the food morning, noon and night.

Meanwhile, the blue peacock had his back against the pillow and was wiping the tears from his face. His wings still trembled slightly.

Finally, Liu came back and held out a cup to him. Xiang took it from her without a word and drank it up. After he was ready, Liu looked at him with concern.

"Do you feel better now?"

Xiang closed his eyes briefly and looked down. He had no inhibitions about showing her how he felt. Perhaps he would never have done it if she hadn't gotten to know him in the cure residence. For several years, after surviving the explosion in Gongmen City, he was in a state where he could not fight back. Even during this period, he had been plagued by nightmares from which he simply could never escape.

"Do you want to tell me what you dreamed of?" Liu asked further.

At first, Xiang just sat there with his eyes downcast, then he shook his head violently, shaking. "No! I never want to see it again!"

She nodded understandingly.

Then Xiang put the cup away and stood up. "I have to get out of here." He stood on his good left leg and fished for his crutch.

"Shall I accompany you?" Liu asked.

"No!"

And she said nothing more. A 'no' was always a 'no' to him.

She took the chair what he had been using to barricade the door and let him out. She watched as he hobbled down the stairs, then she went back into the room next to the bed. The egg was still there. How good that the bed was so wide and they had shared two blankets. She didn't want to imagine if the egg had also fallen down.

She yawned extensively. Although she was tired, she could not go back to bed immediately because she had to change her shirt, which was still wet from Xiang's tears.

He breathed in the fresh night air, which only partially calmed him down. Xiang had dragged himself to the edge of the village and was leaning between two trees. He felt tears welling up in his eyes again. He squeezed his eyelids shut, but he couldn't stop some salt water from spilling out and dripping onto the grass.

"Even after your death, you must haunt me," he cursed in a tight voice. "Just go away! Leave me alone!" He pressed his forehead against a tree trunk. "Why, why me?! Why?!"

For a while, he listened to his own heavy breathing. Then he raised his head. He thought he heard something rustling in the distance. He looked around hastily. Since he was not very good on his feet because of his disability, he always felt insecure when he might be in danger. In a village like this, where all the kung fu people lived, it must be crawling with bandits who might want revenge for something.

Again he heard a rustling noise. He considered whether he should return to the house quickly or investigate the matter. Eventually, he decided not to act like a coward. His mother had already frightened him enough today. He shuffled down the tree-lined avenue that ran alongside a creek.

He stopped when he saw something white leaping across the creek. Xiang narrowed his eyes and hobbled closer. The white thing moved gently and seemed to be holding something. Then it jumped again and landed on the other side of the creek where it had originally been.

Xiang crept closer with difficulty in the shade of the trees. The creature was not completely white, but was covered with a dark coat on the body. When he finally got close enough, he recognized a white peacock. Xiang didn't have to think twice that it was Shen's brother. Shen would hardly want to wear something that dark. It didn't go with his wardrobe. Unless he had deliberately switched clothes with his brother.

Xiang jumped when his foot struck some twigs. It wasn't loud, but peacocks could hear extremely well. Also Dao. He darted in the direction from which he had heard the crack. Like a white light, he leapt across the creek, and with just a few quick steps, he stood in front of Xiang, his katana held above him in a fighting stance.

"Who's there?!" he demanded loudly.

Xiang lifted a wing. "Don't show off in front of me," he grumbled, clearly annoyed that he couldn't even sneak up on someone unnoticed anymore.

Dao backed away briefly, his katana still raised. "Are you spying on me?" he asked inquiringly.

Xiang snorted derisively. "Like I don't have anything else to do at night." He lifted his head arrogantly. "Or did you think your father's spirit stood before you again?"

Dao narrowed his eyes and lowered his stance slightly, like a leopard ready to pounce.

Xiang mockingly lifted the corners of his beak. "Now don't be offended. And finally, put that thing away. Or are you afraid that an unarmed invalid will strike you down?"

Dao lowered his katana, but he kept his eyes on Xiang. As the blue peacock emerged from the shade of the trees, he felt that déjà vu with his father again and he looked away.

Xiang noticed his avoidance, but made no comment. He didn't care at all what was going on in the boy's mind. He himself had never had a bond with his father, so he couldn't understand in any way what kind of emotional chaos Dao was going through.

"What are you still doing out here at such a late hour?" Xiang wanted to know. He hobbled along the path, intending to walk away. He no longer expected that Dao would give him an answer, but to his surprise, the younger peacock opened his beak.

"I couldn't sleep," Dao said monotonously and went back to the creek bank. "For this reason, I did some movement exercises." He swung his katana again, even stroking the surface of the water a few times.

Xiang noticed how attentively Dao watched his reflection. "But you chose a strange opponent."

Dao didn't let himself be interrupted in his concentration and skillfully, he swung himself over the creek again. "I've often trained with my reflection." He jumped back to the bank side where Xiang was standing. "At least that was before the ninjas lured me into their clan."

Xiang leaned on his crutch and looked bored, although he was listening intently. "I've already heard. My wife always picks up the latest gossip from my ex."

Dao gave him a disapproving look. "I was surprised to hear that you had been married to my brother's wife."

Xiang lifted his head in disgust. "Are you going to despise me for that, too? She lied to me."

Dao disliked Xiang's scathing comment and turned back to his reflection in the water. But then he seemed to have lost interest in it. He pocketed his katana and went to a fallen big log, on which he placed a few large stones side by side. He then picked up some smaller stones and threw them. He missed the first big stone, only hitting it the second time.

Xiang wrinkled his beak. "Not exactly a clean shot."

Dao looked at him, annoyed. "Can't you abscond somewhere else?"

"I thought ninjas could do better," Xiang said haughtily.

Dao ducked his head, offended. "I just need to get off this stuff slowly. My reactions got a little rusty after my head had been blank for a while."

"Aha, this control remedy."

Again Dao gave him an exasperated look. "How much did my sister-in-law tell your wife?"

Xiang shrugged. "I didn't ask. But if you're that bad, it must have been some pretty strong stuff."

Dao let out a loud snort. "I hardly caught anything from it. I don't even know exactly what I was up to while under this influence. Even after that, my head feels totally hollow."

"You're lucky there," Xiang said monotonously. "I wish my head was so empty."

Dao looked at him in surprise. "Why?"

"To just forget something."

Dao threw the next stone at the larger stone on the tree trunk. "I also wish I could forget something. Forever." He looked at Xiang curiously. "What do you want to forget?"

"Private things," the blue peacock brushed him off. "Do you know what you want to forget?"

Dao narrowed his eyes. "I even know it for sure." He threw another stone and even hit it. "Sometimes I wish my brother hadn't existed." The next stone hit its target again. "Then my mother would have accepted me more."

Xiang looked down. "It's more the opposite for me," he murmured. "But I can agree with you on one thing. I also wish Shen had never crossed my path."

Dao boredly dropped the remaining small stones in a wing to the ground. "Are you also so angry with him?"

"Every day."

Dao bowed his head. "Mm, me every minute."

Xiang raised the corners of his beak a little. "More likely every second."

"Yes, exactly! After all, everything had been his fault from the start."

Both peacocks looked at each other. A barely visible soft smile flitted across Xiang's beak. Maybe they had more in common than he thought.

"Well, if he'd been good," he murmured, "he wouldn't have seduced my soon-to-be wife before."

Dao looked down. He didn't want to speak badly of Yin-Yu. Nor about their children. But with Shen, he didn't care.

"Sometimes I really..." Dao's wings spasmed.

Xiang raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"If he wasn't my brother," Dao continued. "I'd love to…"

"Kill him?"

At the word Xiang uttered, Dao hesitated to think about it further.

"Rather frazzle him out... ah... I don't know," the younger one said. Xiang's idea completely slowed him down. "He's my brother. Otherwise, I wouldn't be outside now."

"But he put you in there," Xiang replied.

Dao shook his head. "It doesn't matter, his death wouldn't do any good now either. I can't get my mother back with that. Even if my life was hell most of the time."

"In what way?" Xiang wanted to know.

Dao took a few steps away from him and kicked a tuft of grass. He gave Xiang an uncertain side glance, then he looked down briefly and shook his head slightly. He didn't want to answer that question. Instead, he bypassed it. "Ever since I was a kid, I've wished I could go, where it's somewhere nicer." He looked up. Xiang followed his gaze where the crescent moon lit up the sky just a tad. "And if there is someone who can get me out of my bad life," Dao continued.

Xiang narrowed his eyes as something inside of him contracted at the words. He had also often looked up at the moon since he was a child. Very often, he had wished to get away from home. And the moon was the only thing far enough from his house. Far from his tyrannical mother.

"I can understand that," Xiang said. But then he quickly shook his head. Why was he actually telling him that? He was the brother of his worst enemy.

Dao, on the other hand, ignored this statement and went back to collecting small stones to throw at the large stones on the fallen log again, which still had some standing on top. He missed the first throw.

"You need to throw more from below, not above," Xiang noted.

Dao rolled his eyes. "Are you also a teacher now?"

"I often trained with Sheng."

Xiang picked up a small rock, hobbled next to Dao, and threw it, too. The small stone immediately knocked over the large rock on the log.

"That's how you do it," Xiang remarked with a mocking undertone.

Dao looked at him with an offended expression and threw the small rocks which he was holding in his wing to the ground, hitting at least two of them on Xiang's lame foot. Dao looked down in surprise.

"Don't you feel anything in it?"

Xiang also looked down. "How so? Did you hit me?"

"Yes."

"Mmm, no. I can't feel anything in that leg anymore."

Dao raised his eyebrows. "Kind of insane."

Xiang looked at him in surprise for a moment. Then he grinned. "Learn how to hit a target better first."

Dao lifted his head mockingly. "You'll see what I can do."

Xiang snorted with mock disdain. "If so, it can take years."

He turned and hobbled away.

"Hey!" Dao called him back.

Xiang stopped and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry I mistook you for my father," Dao said. "You looked a lot like him."

Xiang waved him off. "It's okay. You wouldn't be the first one who keeps telling me that. The others get on my nerves with that."

With these words, he left. Dao watched him go in silence.

Thoughtfully, Dao walked down the street. His family had mentioned that Xiang wasn't on good terms with their family, but it hadn't been particularly difficult for him to talk to him. Even if he didn't find him completely sympathetic, he didn't feel as stuck in the conversation as he did with his brother Shen. He would even have liked to exchange it for him.

He stopped in the street. Then he scraped the stone floor with his claw. Basically, it was only because of Shen's youthful sins that he despised his own brother. But what if Shen had never done anything like that? What if he hadn't been banished?

Or did he just think it because Xiang looked so much like his father?

He raised his head attentively when he heard a loud clatter in an alley. A moment later, someone let out a stifled curse.

Quickly, Dao rushed there. His quarters were near Mr. Ping's restaurant and the noise came from the backyard. Peering around a corner, Dao saw Mr. Ping kicking a wooden barrel angrily.

"Hey, are you okay?" Dao asked, stepping into the backyard.

Mr. Ping looked at him in surprise. Apparently, he hadn't counted on spectators. Especially not at this hour, rubbing his aching foot from kicking the bin.

"Okay? How can anything be okay if everything isn't, okay?" the gander complained.

Dao looked at him in surprise. "How so? What's wrong?"

"For scaring my brother away because we couldn't agree on the menu."

Dao's beak stayed open for a moment, wondering if the gander was just being overly hysterical.

Mr. Ping noticed his puzzled expression. "I know it may sound banal to fight just over a meal menu. But that's our purpose in life." Mr. Ping put his wings on his hips and circled frantically. "Just like when he rushed out of the restaurant." He let out a loud sigh. "It was also about the menu back then. As if that wasn't bad enough, you know, this fight has created a huge rift between us. Since then, we had hardly spoken to each other over the years. And father, what did he do? He didn't say anything about it, but it probably hurt him as much as it did me."

Dao looked at him a little confused. He had already opened his beak to say something, but Mr. Ping was faster.

"Many people say, it's normal for siblings to fight," the gander continued. "But it's not normal if they never talk to each other again." He cast a desperate look at the sky. "Fortunately, my father no longer has to experience this."

With these words, Mr. Ping shook his head and disappeared into his house. Dao looked after him with pity. Then he looked wistfully up at the sky. "Father."

Liu lay in bed, lost in her thoughts. Some days, it was not easy for her to care for Xiang. Rarely was he affectionate to her. Sometimes, she longed for him to love her the same way like Shen did Yin-Yu.

Liu rolled onto his side at the thought. It had been difficult with Xiang. Even after their marriage, they had at first slept separately. For a long time, he could not bring himself to be alone with her, although they had already lived in one room in the cure residence. He even had to take a sedative when he allowed her to sleep next door. It took all the longer until he felt completely safe with her. He was afraid of her touch. But Liu didn't want him to just come in and go without spending the night with her.

Sighing, Liu's feathered hand wandered to the egg and stroked the smooth surface. Then she let her wing rest on it for a while. She winced when she thought she felt something in the egg. She paused for a moment, but then all was quiet again.

Someone hobbled up the stairs. Quickly, Liu got up and went to the door which she had barricaded. Xiang would have been annoyed if she hadn't additionally barricaded the door. When she opened the door, Xiang shuffled in and headed for the bed without another word. There, he leaned his crutch against the wall again and got into bed. Liu waited a moment. If he wanted something, he would call her. But since he didn't say anything, she concluded that he didn't want to talk to her. She locked the door and then she went to bed as well.

All was quiet for a while. She listened to his breath. Eventually, he rolled onto his side with a sigh.

"Do you have siblings?"

Liu looked up in surprise. She didn't expect that Xiang would ask her anything.

"I don't know," she replied hesitantly. "I was an orphan."

"Aha."

It got quiet again. Liu thought he was asleep when he whispered her name again. "Liu?"

"Mmm?"

"I feel a little cold."

A joyful twitch went through Liu's body. It was his way of saying she should hug him. Immediately, but slowly, she left her "nest" and slid over to him. Then she crawled under his blanket, wrapped her wings around his body and snuggled against his back as he was lying on his side.

Xiang smiled slightly as she stroked his chest. Still, his mind was elsewhere. He was still lost in the conversation with Dao.

He had always been alone in his childhood. Somehow, he would have liked to have had a brother or siblings. Maybe even a big brother who would at least have been there for him. But then, in the worst case, he would not only have had to listen to his own screams, but also to the desperate screams of his sibling. That would only have made things worse. His mother would certainly have tormented him, too. But what if he also had missing siblings? Maybe even someone similar to Dao? Someone who he could sometimes talk to for a bit?

He sighed heavily. Too bad that Dao was Shen's brother.