Deacon
Life had seemed to go back to whatever normal had been. Actually, that wasn't really true. It had gone back to something that felt more like what it had been early on, when it had been hard for him and Rayna to be cordial to each other for long. There were no fights, no cross words, but it felt like there was a barrier between them now. The good feelings that had existed for those couple days at the cabin seemed to have evaporated. So he was surprised when there was a knock on his door in the middle of the day and he opened it to find Rayna standing on his porch.
She looked a little uncertain, her hands clasped together tightly in front of her. She looked like she hadn't brushed her hair and it looked like she'd hastily gotten dressed. There was a look on her face that he didn't recognize, and her eyes were a little puffy, like maybe she'd just rolled out of bed or something. His first thought, based on how she looked, was that something was wrong with one of the kids, but then he didn't think she'd come to his house for that. She would have called.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey." She twisted her hands together. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure." He stepped back from the door and let her walk in, then closed the door behind her. She turned to face him.
"I'm sorry to just come over unannounced."
He shook his head. "It's okay. What's going on?"
She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "I just, well, Luke and I just broke up."
He took a step back, surprised at what she'd just said. "What?"
He saw a tiny smile on her face, a sad, kind of resigned smile. "It had just gotten to where it didn't feel right. We're different people, focused on different things. I was feeling like I wasn't being true to myself." She swallowed. "I don't really want to get into the details. I really just wanted to make sure you knew. Bucky's putting out a statement, probably as we speak, that just says we – Luke and I – made the decision to call off the wedding and that we wished each other well." She grimaced. "I don't think he probably wishes me well right at this moment, but I just couldn't let it go on."
He was still processing her surprising news and wanted to say the right thing. So he decided maybe the best thing to do was say nothing at all. "Rayna, I don't know what to say."
She gave him a wistful smile. "I'm thinking that's probably not really true, but I know I sort of blindsided you with this. I just didn't want you to be surprised if someone asked you or called you about it. I hope they won't, but you never know." She sighed. "I also still need to tell Maddie and Levi, so I just wanted to let you know before I did. I think they'll be fine, but, you know."
He nodded. "Is there anything I can do?"
She shook her head. "I just wanted you to know." She looked down, then back at him. "I don't want there to be any misunderstandings between us. I didn't do this for you or because of you but being together those couple days did bring some things to the surface that made me realize I wasn't really being myself anymore."
"I didn't think it had anything to do with me, Rayna. You been pretty clear on all that. I won't get in your way on this."
She gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks." She sighed deeply. "I'm gonna go now. I'm really kind of wiped out and I need to get myself in the right place so I can talk to the kids."
"You want me to take them or something? Just for a few days. If you need some time to yourself."
She seemed to be rolling that around in her head. "Maybe. Let me see how it goes and I'll call you if I think it would be helpful." She turned and he reached to open the door for her.
"Rayna?" She turned her head to look at him. "Take care of yourself." She just nodded, then walked out. He watched as she walked down to the street and got into her car. As she pulled out, he closed the door and took a deep breath. He had no idea how to feel.
Rayna
As she headed back to the other side of town from Deacon's, she thought again about everything that had transpired over the last 24 hours. She and Luke had met with his talent guy the previous day to talk about promo for the two of them. Ever since the wedding date had been publicly announced, which she'd felt uneasy about to start with, interest in the 2 of them had grown almost exponentially. They discussed joint appearances on music competition shows, a joint album, as well as a TV special focused on their upcoming joint tour. There was new merch that would be sold at their shows as well as on a new still being developed joint website and on their own individual fan sites. T shirts, banners, keychains, shot glasses, hats, and more.
"A teddy bear?" she said to Luke during a break in the meeting. That was one of the more outlandish, at least from her perspective, items that had been presented. "Who wants a Layna teddy bear? And why are we encouraging this Layna business anyway?"
Luke chuckled genially. "Sweetie, this is the new music business. We've got to be on top of whatever it is people want. And they want Layna. We should be excited that we're getting one of those mash up names. That means we're really part of the pop culture world." He spread his arms out. "We've arrived."
"When do we have time for the music, Luke? I'm not going to have time to write or even just think with all that's going on. Or be with my kids. This just feels like too much."
"This is the big time, Rayna. You're gonna be a global brand. It takes a lot of work and effort and energy to be at this level and you're getting ready to step into all that." He hugged her briefly. "I know it can seem like a lot at first, but you'll see that before long you'll have multiple award nominations – and wins – and your tours will sell out like crazy. Every album will be multi-platinum and we'll be on the road as much as we can. We won't be able to just sit back on our laurels. You've gotta really keep your foot on the gas to keep this all going."
She smiled and nodded, but privately she wondered how this would all work. She already knew Luke didn't spend a lot of time with Colt and Sage. They would go out on the road with him some and he'd see them at the holidays, but she couldn't imagine doing that with Maddie and Levi. She wasn't sure she wanted to be a 'global brand'. Her albums already were multi-platinum, and she was happy with the amount of publicity and promo she currently did.
She sighed. It felt like her life would no longer be her own. She would be expected to essentially spend all her time building up her name and her 'brand'. She already was not happy with the clothing and shoe lines she was representing. It also made her nervous to see how pumped Bucky seemed to be about all this. She and Bucky had hardly had time to sit down and talk about everything so she could share with him her concerns. And then there was the wedding dress thing. She still didn't have one picked out. In fact, she hadn't looked at another one since the aborted dress fitting just a couple weeks earlier. Both Luke and her stylist had been gently pushing her on that, but she was resistant, not really sure she knew why.
She'd come home after the meeting feeling exhausted. Everything she'd heard that day and prior just felt like too much. She hadn't been able to sleep the night before. All she could think about was the time she'd miss with her kids and the constant grind of staying in the public eye. She'd been happy for years doing what she'd been doing – writing songs, first with Deacon, then on her own, and working her tour schedule around Maddie and Levi. She did enough publicity pre-album launch and pre-tour to get platinum records and her tour dates sold out. She had risen to a level that allowed her to mostly schedule tour dates on the weekends, with time at home in between. If she needed to pack her schedule, she could do that in the summer, when Maddie and Levi could come along with her.
Maddie and Levi both had seemed to sense her unease and didn't agitate each other like they often did. They'd been polite, helpful, and upbeat, as though they'd known she had a lot on her plate. They had both let her snuggle them at bedtime for as long as she'd wanted. She had thought a lot about the meeting she and Luke had had with the Rolling Stone journalist who would be embedded on their tour for the first month. What he had wanted from them was a lot more personal than she was typically comfortable with. Luke hadn't seemed to mind and had been surprised that she was.
"Why does that bother you so much? Our fans are gonna want to know more about our lives. It's just how things are."
"I've spent my entire career keeping my personal life private, Luke. I'm not comfortable sharing everything with the public. And I don't want to get my kids in the middle of it."
"Rayna, these days people are able to find out anything they want no matter what we're comfortable with. Social media, google, it's everywhere. It's usually better to just put it out there so you don't look like you were trying to hide something." He was starting to sound exasperated.
"I'm not hiding anything. I just don't want that."
She had laid in bed for hours, her eyes wide open and her mind churning. When dark finally turned to light she had gotten up and taken a shower, not bothering with her hair or makeup. She had gotten the kids up, dropped Maddie at school and Levi at Hannah's. Then she had driven out to Luke's ranch.
He was surprised to see her when she walked up to the barn where he was tending his horses.
"Hey, babe, what are you doing here?"
"I, uh, I wanted to talk to you," she said. She wondered if she sounded as listless as she felt.
He frowned. "What's going on?" He walked up to her as though he was going to hug her or kiss her, but she put her hand up and took a step back. He looked perplexed.
"I was up all night, thinking about all those things we talked about yesterday and I just don't think I can do it."
He looked sympathetic. "We can cut some of it back. Maybe not take all those TV appearances."
She shook her head. "It's not really a matter of cutting back, Luke. None of that – the heavy touring, all the publicity, the article, the branding thing – none of that is me. I don't feel like myself anymore." She reached into one of the pockets in her jeans and pulled out the ring. She held it out to him. "I don't think I can marry you after all."
He seemed, at first, to be in shock. "We can fix this, Rayna. Let's just sit down and rework some things."
"I don't think we can do that, Luke. I don't want a wedding with 500 people."
"We can fix anything," he pleaded with her.
"You can't live my life, Luke. It's not you. And I can't live yours. I love you and I wanted to marry you, but I've come to realize over the last month or so that we're just on different paths."
His eyes narrowed then. "This is because of Deacon, isn't it? Those days you got trapped with him."
She shook her head. "It's not Deacon. I mean, it is, from the standpoint of me wanting that kind of life, something lower key, but he's not the reason I'm doing this." She was still holding out the ring and he snatched it away from her, frowning angrily. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "I don't know if I believe you. Ever since you spent those couple days up there, you've been different. I just don't believe Deacon doesn't have anything to do with this." He shoved the ring into his pocket.
"It's me, Luke. This is about me. Not anybody else. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you..."
"You know what? I was worried about whether you could really pull all this off or not. You never did seem like you had it in you."
She knew he was hurting and was saying these things to try to hurt her back. She didn't want to make things worse. "Luke, please..."
"Get the hell off my property," he snarled. Then he turned and angrily walked back to the barn.
She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should try to explain again. Better. But she was pretty sure he wasn't in the mood for it. And truthfully, she was too tired to go after him. She turned and walked back to where she'd parked, tears in her eyes. It had been one of the hardest things she'd done but she couldn't deny the relief she felt that her whole life wouldn't be turned upside down again.
She'd called Bucky as soon as she'd left the ranch and he'd had a press release ready for her when she got back home. He was the one who'd suggested she tell Deacon so that he was prepared. She'd been hesitant at first, but he had convinced her it needed to be done. And now that she had, she knew he was right. She didn't know that people would think he had anything to do with her decision. No one else knew about the 2 days at the cabin. But he'd gotten some questions when she and Luke had first started dating and again when they'd gotten engaged, so she thought it made sense.
Her mind stayed on him the rest of the drive. She couldn't help but feel like some of what had made her start thinking about what she was getting into with Luke had to do with those 2 days. It wasn't all of it, but it had really caused her to start thinking about her life. Spending time with him and with Maddie and Levi had rekindled a lot of emotions. She wanted that life again. Not necessarily with Deacon, but a life that put family first. That was one of the things she'd felt was missing with Luke. Family didn't really come first.
I have to be who I am. Who I've always been. I can't compromise that. For anyone.
Deacon
He was still stunned at Rayna's news. She'd been so sure that this was the right thing for her, that Luke was the right man for her. He knew she'd likely never tell him the whole story about what led her to do this. He felt a sense of relief though. For Maddie and Levi, as well as for Rayna. Every time he saw Rayna in some ad for boots or fancy clothes, or saw her on an entertainment program, or saw a billboard with a huge photo of her and Luke, he couldn't help but think it was a life he never thought she'd live.
Rayna wasn't one for a lot of publicity unless it was focused on the music. She had been interviewed many times but she was always clear that she was focusing on the music. Fans knew she had been married, knew she had children, but she didn't put that out there. She rarely brought Maddie and Levi out for public events. He'd been relieved when the kids only showed up for one segment of the Christmas show she'd done with Luke. It was a scene with Santa and a couple of kids' Christmas songs. Luke's kids were there, as well as Rayna and Luke. He knew that part of the reason she was always so close to the vest was because of him, in the days when he was still drinking. But she also wanted their kids to have as close to a normal life as possible.
Everything with Luke had been over the top though, starting with the onstage proposal. He had watched her step into that world, but he'd never asked her much about it. It wasn't his business, unless there was some impact on the kids. She'd seemed happy though. She'd told him many times how happy she was with Luke. And she had pushed him away when they were at the cabin before Christmas, reminding him she was with Luke. And now this. He felt confused.
She'd been very clear on one thing – it had nothing to do with him. As she'd said, it wasn't for him or because of him. He had to believe her and he'd even told her he wouldn't get in her way. He intended to keep that promise. 5 years apart really was a long time to think they could rebuild anything more than a friendship, which he hoped they could if only for their children's sake. He'd give her space. It was the very least he could do.
Two days after she'd come by to tell him about her breakup, he headed out the door to go do some session work for a friend. He didn't really pay much attention to what was around him. He'd gone down these steps countless times on his way to somewhere. But as he hit the sidewalk he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and he turned to see 2 people racing towards him, one with a camera and another with a microphone. He stopped and looked at them with some confusion.
"Deacon! Deacon Claybourne!" The woman with the microphone stopped in front of him. "Have you had any contact with Rayna Jaymes about her break up with Luke Wheeler? Any idea why they broke up?" She stuck the microphone in his face and he stared first at her and then at the person with the camera. He wondered how they had found out where he lived and then wondered why they thought he would give them about any information, even if he had it.
He frowned. "If I did, I ain't interested in talking about it." He walked around them, ignoring the reporter as he got into his truck, turned the ignition, and pulled out onto the street. He glanced in his rearview mirror as he drove. They were standing in the street where his truck had been. He just shook his head.
Rayna
She had stayed off the radar in the immediate aftermath of her breakup with Luke. She'd heard he was out making impromptu appearances, appearing to be none the worse for wear. People were speculating about her whereabouts, although it was mostly the national entertainment news that had an interest in either of them. She was hoping that if she didn't make any other public statements following the initial press release that it would go away. She spent her time working on new music and, when the kids were with her, spending time with them. It really wasn't that she wasn't being seen in public, but it was very low key and not in places where she expected to be approached in any way. It was one of the positives about living in Nashville. The unspoken rule was that celebrities were left alone. Even when Deacon had picked up and dropped off the kids, he'd not asked her any questions and for that she was grateful.
Bucky had asked to meet with her and so she was getting ready for him to come over. She made tea and had put some cookies on the dining table. She was sure that they would talk about putting a tour together for her and she was ready for that. Just because the Honeymoon Tour was off didn't mean she didn't want to get out on the road. When he arrived she welcomed him with a hug and a smile and then led him back to the great room. After she'd poured tea for both of them and they'd sat down at the table, she could see concern on her manager's face.
"Okay, Buck. What's going on? I can see that look on your face."
Bucky sighed deeply, then pushed a manila folder across the table to her. "Bills for the wedding so far." She pulled the folder closer and opened it up. There weren't a lot of bills, but they were not insignificant. Deposits for catering, entertainment, flowers, and the outdoor set up at Luke's ranch were included, along with the deposit for the rehearsal dinner venue. She looked up at Bucky. "The good news is that this will mostly be it, although we will have to pay for the entertainment in full eventually. But deposits are mostly nonrefundable."
It was all money that People would have covered. "So Luke's passing it all on to me."
Bucky looked sympathetic. "From his perspective, since you called off the wedding, it's on you to cover this."
She rolled her eyes. "I can see his logic." She shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to figure it out."
"And there will likely be some tour expenses that will come our way as well."
She made a face. "Why? Isn't he just taking it all on himself?"
"Well, he says he needs openers now and they need to be paid."
"And that's my responsibility? Please, Buck, push back on that. He doesn't have to have openers. He just wants to punish me." She shook her head. "The way I look at it, at least I didn't wait until the day of the wedding. I'll deal with the nonrefundable wedding expenses, but I'm not paying for him to rework his tour."
Bucky nodded. "I'll talk to his people. I think they're just trying to see what they can get." He cleared his throat. "Something else I want to talk to you about."
She didn't like the look on his face. "Okay. What else?"
"Well, you haven't really been visible since the announcement and people are starting to wonder, especially since Luke is everywhere."
"Do I really need to do that too? Just to prove I'm 'okay'?" She made a quote mark gesture.
"There are a couple rumors out there that are starting to get some traction." She was puzzled. What could people be saying? "Some are saying that the reason you haven't gotten back out there and have no tour planned is because you're emotionally distraught."
"What?"
"And another one is that you've checked into rehab."
"Well, that's just ridiculous. I am not emotionally distraught and I sure haven't checked into rehab."
"I know, but I think it would be a good idea to get you back out there. Soon."
She sighed. "I thought part of the reason you were coming today was for us to talk about a tour."
"It is, but that won't be for a couple months at least. We need to get you out there sooner than that."
She sat with her hands clasped on the table in front of her. "So what do you suggest?"
"You could do the Bluebird or Douglas Corner, someplace like that. Or maybe the Ryman?"
She considered Bucky's suggestions. "Do you think I could get something scheduled at the Ryman?"
"I'm sure we could, but it might be several weeks or a month or so out, so I'd like to work something out sooner."
"I could do the Opry." Bucky nodded. "And the Bluebird. Douglas Corner. Something like that."
"I'll look into all of those. We just don't want it to look like you're too distraught to leave the house." He smiled sympathetically.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "So we've got that settled. Can we talk tour now?"
Bucky smiled. "Yes, we can."
Deacon
It was a Tuesday night at the Opry. He performed with the Opry band on weeks when he didn't have Maddie and Levi. He was enjoying the gig, getting to perform with a wide variety of acts on stage. Some performers, usually the bigger acts, would bring their own band, but he enjoyed learning new songs and getting to stand behind some of the biggest legends in country music. He was staying busy, with sets at various venues around Nashville and session work filling up his days. Not so full that he couldn't find time to write though and he'd been doing a lot of that, trying them out anytime he had a gig somewhere.
That night had a slate of only 9 performers so the sets for most would be 3 or 4 songs. Tuesdays were often nights for the superstars to perform, when they weren't on tour, but this night would not have one of them. The audience would still be large and enthusiastic and he was looking forward to it.
When he was walking up one of the hallways past the dressing rooms, he saw that there was a flurry of activity up at the artists' entrance. He was surprised then when he saw Rayna step out of the crowd and start down the hallway towards him. She looked surprised to see him. When they got nearer to each other she stopped.
"Hey," she said. "I didn't know you'd be here tonight."
He smiled. "Every other week. I didn't know you'd be here tonight either."
"Well, it was last minute. You know that Opry members are always welcome, even if they're not scheduled, and I decided to come tonight." She flipped her hand. "I just wanted to come early so I could see everyone. My band will be here in a little bit." So he wouldn't be playing with her. She had become a member about the time Levi turned 1 and he knew what an accomplishment that had been for her. It was a longtime dream of hers and he'd been happy she'd gotten invited.
"When are you on?"
"Last one." She looked at him for a second. "If you're still around, stop by afterwards. I'll be in the Women of Country dressing room."
He smiled and nodded. "I'll do that." He took a deep breath. "Glad you're on stage tonight." He gave her a quick nod, then headed for the band's rehearsal space.
She'd been off the grid for several weeks, ever since she'd broken up with Luke. He'd heard some things, that she was in an emotional tailspin, that she was in hiding, but his impression, when she'd come to tell him the news, was that the breakup had been her decision, so none of the chatter he'd heard made sense. But Luke had been popping up all over town and acting like he was thrilled to be back on the prowl so he was glad she would be on stage, disputing the negative press.
He'd stood on the side stage during her set, watching her. As she was wrapping up her last song – one from her latest album – he headed back towards the family space. He had been glad to hear the overwhelmingly positive response she'd gotten going out on stage as well as after every song. He watched on one of the monitors as she gave a last wave to the audience and then walked off the stage. He gave it a few minutes before he headed for her dressing room.
She was talking to Bucky when he lightly tapped on the door. She looked over his way and smiled. Bucky said something, giving her a hug, then walked to the door. "Hey, Deacon," he said with a shoulder pat and then he was on his way.
"Hey," he said. He nodded in the direction Bucky had gone. "You need to go?"
She shook her head. "He's going to wait for me." She smiled. "Come on in." He did. She sat down on the couch and he sat in a chair opposite the couch. "I probably should have expected to see you tonight, but I forgot you were doing this."
He shrugged and smiled back. "It's okay." He cleared his throat. "You sounded good out there."
"Thanks. It was good to get back out on a stage." She made a face. "Hopefully it quiets some of the rumors."
"I think it made a statement." She raised her eyebrows. "I heard about how you're supposedly in some kinda mourning."
She smirked. "'Emotionally distraught' is actually how they described it. Which I'm not, of course." He nodded. "So I'll do more performances here and there. And we'll be announcing a tour soon."
"So you're gonna go out?"
"Yeah. And we probably will need to talk about it because it's pretty stacked, but we can do that once I have a better handle on what it will look like."
"Don't do it just to..."
She shook her head. "I'm not. Obviously I was supposed to be touring anyway, just now I'll be doing a solo tour. And I've been working on an album. I've probably got half the songs for it already, but it would be good to get into the studio and bang it out before the tour starts."
He was silent for a moment and she stood up. He stood up as well. "Looks like you're back on track then. I'm glad to see it."
"Thanks," she said softly.
"I gotta head out. I'll see you soon." He walked to the door, lifting his hand in a wave. He walked down the hall to pick up his gear and then headed out for his truck. As he drove home he thought about her, glad she was getting back out there. Whether it was to answer the rumors or was something she'd do anyway, he knew she'd land on her feet. She always did.
Rayna
Over the course of a chilly early March afternoon, she developed a headache and felt congested. When she got the kids down for the night, she went to bed shortly thereafter, and fell into a deep sleep until sometime in the middle of the night, when she woke up coughing and sneezing with a dull ache in her whole body. She couldn't fall back asleep, so she decided that she would ask Tandy to take the kids for a few days in case she was contagious. She would see if she could get in to see her doctor first thing, in case there was something she could take. And then she'd rest. She finally fell into a fitful sleep until her alarm went off.
When she drove her car into the garage, she felt like it would be a miracle if she could make it into the house, but she gathered up all her energy, grabbing the bag full of over-the-counter meds her doctor had recommended and her purse and dragged herself into the house. Just a bad cold, her doctor had said, giving her some things that might help with her symptoms. She had called Tandy and Hannah first thing and arranged for Hannah to pick up the kids, take Maddie to school, and then take care of both kids at Tandy's for a few days. Maddie whined a little about wanting to go to Deacon's and she realized he could have done that, but she hadn't thought about it and didn't want to hear about it anymore. She felt like shit and didn't want to fight with her daughter.
She made herself some tea and then curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her. She turned on the TV and then turned down the sound so that it was more like background noise. She was drifting away when the doorbell rang. She frowned, wondering who it was. She wasn't expecting anyone. She decided it was probably a door-to-door salesperson and so she ignored it, closing her eyes again. When the doorbell rang a second time, she sighed and pushed herself up off the couch, shuffling down the hall to the front door.
When she opened the door she was surprised to see Deacon standing there, holding a container of what looked to be soup. "Hey," she said, followed by a cough.
He held out the soup. "I heard you were sick, so I brought this. Thought it might help."
She took the container, frowning slightly. "How did you hear I was sick?"
He smiled. "Maddie. She told me she and Levi were at Tandy's because you were feeling pretty lousy and didn't want them around."
She shook her head, smiling a little. "That's not what I said." She coughed again. "I guess I could have called you. Probably should have called you."
"It's fine. She said Hannah was there, so it's good. I just wanted you to have that" – he nodded towards the container – "because I know you ain't too good at taking care of yourself."
She couldn't help but smile a little at that. "That's not fair but thank you anyway."
"I can see you're not feeling great, so I'll be on my way." He turned and started down the walk.
"Hey," she called out and he turned around. She smirked. "Since I do such a bad job of taking care of myself, you want to come in and heat this up for me?"
He looked a little surprised, then smiled. "Sure." He followed her into the house and closed the door behind him.
Deacon
She pointed to where the pots were and he grabbed one and put it on the stove. He poured some of the soup in and was going to put the top back on it when she stopped him. "As long as you're here, you might as well share it with me," she said.
He was surprised but nodded. "Okay." He poured most of the rest of the container into the pot and then turned on the burner.
"Did you get that from our deli?" There was a deli in East Nashville, basically a hole in the wall, but it made the best chicken soup and sandwiches. There were many days when all they could afford was a container of soup and a single sandwich they would split between the two of them.
He nodded as he paid attention to the soup. He glanced behind him for a second. She was sitting at the kitchen island. Even though he could tell she was sick, she didn't look quite as sick as she sounded. She was dressed in sweats and an old sweater, her feet in heavy socks. "I did. I was actually surprised it's still there."
"Why do you think I don't know how to take care of myself?"
He chuckled. "Because you don't," he said. He opened a couple of cabinets and found bowls and then opened a drawer and found soup spoons. When the soup was hot and bubbling he poured it into bowls and handed one to her, along with a spoon. He took the other bowl and walked around the island, sitting on one of the other stools, since it didn't look like she was moving. He watched as she blew on a spoonful and then tentatively sipped it from the spoon. She closed her eyes for a second.
"It's as good as I remember." She took another sip. "Thank you for bringing this."
"I was glad to do it. It reminds me of all the times I took care of you when you were sick."
She made a face. "You did not. I was never sick."
He laughed. "Not true. You're right that it wasn't often, but you were. I remember the time we were just finishing up a van tour in Chattanooga and you were sick as a dog."
She shook her head. "I don't remember that."
"You crashed in the back of the van while I drove back to Nashville. You were moaning about my bad driving the whole way. I think I had to stop the van and let you puke halfway through the pass."
She looked thoughtful. "Maybe you're right about that. I don't think I puked though. But you were a really bad driver."
He grinned. "I've gotten better."
"Yeah, you have." She sipped on another spoonful of soup. "I do remember you getting this soup for me on the way home." She pointed her finger at him. "I also remember you had me drink shots of whiskey too."
He smirked. "It's good for knocking that congestion out."
She laughed a little, then coughed. "I think that was just a way to get me tipsy." She smiled to herself. "I haven't thought about the van tour days in a long time."
"I'm not sure I remember a lot of the van tour days."
"Probably not." She smiled, but he saw a teasing twinkle in her eye. "But I do know those were some of the best times. Getting started and being all excited about making music and being on stage."
He nodded. "Just you and me and the music. And look at where you are now."
"You know, sometimes I think that all the success just takes you farther away from the music. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love doing this, but there's just so much more to it. It's not pure music. It's interviews and publicity and the big entourages. Not as much mingling with the fans. It's not as personal."
They focused on the soup and then he looked up. "What did you decide about a tour this year?" The Honeymoon Tour was obviously off, which meant Rayna didn't have any scheduled dates on the calendar. At least as far as he knew, because they hadn't talked about it. Since the Christmas snowstorm they'd kept things focused on whatever was going on with the kids.
She sighed deeply. "Bucky's working on it. I decided to just try to plan a summer tour and then maybe we do something late in the fall, like a couple months. I know he's got some dates nailed down and is just working on the rest." She put her spoon in her bowl and pushed the bowl away. "I know we haven't really talked about anything."
"It's okay," he said. It was. He had decided not to push, just let her figure things out on her own. He was glad she'd been the one who'd controlled the message on the breakup with Luke, but he figured there was probably still some heartache about it.
"It was the right thing to do. To end things, I mean." She shook her head. "I'm not gonna get into all the details but I think we just saw some differences and we both knew it was the right call."
"I'm sorry."
She shrugged. "Things happen." She looked at him. "You pile small things on top of small things and, well, you know how that goes."