Title: A Reason to Smile
Author: Infinite-Endings
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers applied, as I own nothing.
Summary: At the end of the war, Heero finally finds a reason to smile, but what at costs?

A REASON TO SMILE

By:Infinite-Endings

There was something about her that made him pay attention. At first, it was her smile. Every time he saw her, she would be smiling at something, no matter how minuscule or insignificant the matter was. To see her with a frown was equivalent to Duo Maxwell voluntarily cut off an inch from his braid - the odds were pretty low.

Then, as he watched from the distance, he began to note the subtle changes in her personality. The slight bounce in her walk, the swing of her hands, she carried a thoughtful expression on her face whenever she thought nobody was watching. However, just as quickly, it would be replaced by the same cheerful countenance from before.

She always spoke of optimism, of hopes and dreams, the ultimate goodness in mankind. She saw the world in the brightness that it often lacked, but she was not naive of the bleakness around her. Her own parents were killed in the war and her brother was enlisted with the Preventers.

Yet, she still learned to smile, after learning that her childhood home was destroyed by mechas or the death of her brother in space. Her crystalline eyes would glisten with tears but still, she spoke of hope for the future. It was almost sickening to watch her smile.

One day, he finally snapped and confronted her, "What is wrong with you? People are dying and you are still smiling? Don't you ever feel sad?"

She stood there in disbelief and surprise that he was actually speaking to her. His comment struck a chord and it was this that allowed her to overcome her paralysis. "I do feel sad. I cry and I bury my heart and soul to prevent them from hurting again, but no matter what I do, people will still die. No matter how many tears I shed, nothing will bring back those who I care most about."

"So, you will rather lie to the world than to show them how you feel?"

"If you smile at the world, then someone somewhere will smile back at you. A smile can mean so many things. You should try it sometimes."

"To fake a smile?"

"You can call it whatever you want, but you never know it until you give it a try."

"I have nothing to smile about."

She studied him with her vibrant cerulean orbs and said, "Then, I pity you."

For the last three months, he had been in her care, as a patient at Juuban County Hospital. He was brought in a stormy afternoon, in the arms of another companion. She knew in an instant that they were both soldiers. He had been unconscious at the time, but his companion had few words and only asked her to take care of his injured friend. "Keep him safe and don't let anybody ask too many questions."

She nodded, as a letter was placed in her hand, "Give it to him, when he wakes up."

She stopped him as he reached the door. Looking back at her with his forest green eyes that was partially covered by his gravity-defying bangs, he waited for her question. "Can I at least know your names?"

"I am Trowa. Trowa Barton and you can him, Yui."

Yui was unconscious for over three weeks, but during that time, she patiently cared for him. She changed the dressing on his wounds and freshened his beddings. She monitored his vitals, while kept up an one-way exchange with the patient in front of her. She was just one of the many nurses in this hospital, still the number of staff was much fewer than during the start of the war. There were other patients that she looked after, some of them were orphaned like her. Others were grown men who had been battered by the traumas of wars. Some were women who lost husbands, and brothers ...

He was alarmed by his surroundings when he first woke up. He recalled threatening her with her life at one point, until, she gave him Trowa's letter. The letter was short but he knew that the situation was too volatile and he needed to regain his strength first. So, he waited and watched her as she went about her daily activities. She never smothered him with attentions, but she didn't exclude him either. Her smile graced her lips as she leaned down to speak with the little girl in her arms who came in with a head injury. Her expression was unchanged, when the man who slept in the adjacent bed as him, woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

He had been there, when she received news about her parents, her brother, her home, but in the end, she managed to find it within her to smile again. When he had confronted her about this, she only offered him pity.

He couldn't understand it at first.

Trowa came for him about three months short of his first admission to the hospital. The taller soldier of the Gundam Heavyarms stayed for a week, while the two of them discussed the current military situations and strategies. Trowa only showed a momentary surprise when she remembered his name. "Trowa Barton."

He gave a brief nod at the smile that she bestowed on him upon recognition. "I have returned your friend safe and sound, with little questions asked."

Then, she left them with the parting words, "Be safe, Yui. Maybe, you can find a reason to smile at the end of this."

He didn't have the heart to tell her, that this, meaning the war, would never have an end.

At the end of AC 196, he found himself at the vicinities of Juuban County Hospital. Even within the short time that he had left, there were great changes to the area. The schools were being rebuilt. New residences were put up at sites where mechas had once destroyed. Yui, found himself stepping through the halls of the hospital. This time, he was being admitted on his two feet, instead of being unconscious in the arms of his fellow comrade.

He wondered if the girl who cared for him in a turbulent time, would still remember him. In retrospect, he had never allowed her entrance into his private musing. He was a solider, supposedly perfect and flawless. Yet, he was none of those things. He had killed and fought. He had shouted unfairness against the world and those in his life. He tried to isolate himself, both mentally and physically. He was always in the shadows, observing, calculating, and planning. It was not in his nature to care or feel, because to get involved was to give up a part of yourself and that was unacceptable. He was trained to be a fighter who carried out missions without a second thought.

On her part, there was no expectations from him. Her simple request was for him to find a reason to smile. So, as he followed the directions that the ward clerk at the hospital had given him, he wondered if he had accomplished this task?

He found her in a position that was deja vu to their first unceremonious meeting. At that time, he had been him just waking up from a three week coma before threatening to shoot her. Now, it was reversed. She was the one lying on the bed. Her long blonde hair was tied in a single braid down one side. It stood in contrast to the pallor of her skin.

She slowly opened her eyes, still vibrantly blue at his entrance. Recognition dawned on her, and he was thankful that his stoic expression did not betray his momentary shock at seeing her. She was almost lost in the numerous monitors and tubings that formed an endless web around the bed. Unlike the machines that he had used to cause destructions, the ones in this room were keeping her body alive. She had just been weaned off the ventilators, but her throat were dry in its un-use. Her heart beat in sync to the beeping of the monitors, green waveforms were displayed on the screen. In medical jargon, she was suffering from end stages of renal failure, overwhelming sepsis, multi-system failure... Simply put, she was dying.

She barely had the strength to turn her head to face him. Instead, he had put down the side rails, so he could be closer to the bed.

"Yui," her voice was but a whisper. "Have you ... find ... a reason ... to smile?"

He wasn't surprise at her question. It didn't take much for him to remember her as the person that she was before becoming a patient in the intensive care unit of Juuban County Hospital. She could barely cook a decent meal, except for curry that tasted better even though it lacked aesthetic appeal. Her weakness were ice-cream and chocolates and held the fascinating for stranded felines. Sometimes, she was downright clumsy, tripping over her feet and invisible cracks on the floor. To those whose lives she had touched, she was Tsukino Usagi, or more affectionately, Usa-chan. Even with her petite frame of 5'4, she was the one who was strong enough to hold their hands, envelope them in her embrace ... she was kind and dedicated. In amongst the destruction, the hopelessness, she had became somebody's sister, daughter and a friend.

And now, in the face of her own mortality, and fragility, she found it within herself to smile.

"If you smile at the world, then someone somewhere will smile back at you. A smile can mean so many things."

There was a great deal of wisdom in those words. As the corner of his lips lifted up to a tentative smile, it conveyed the very emotions that were foreign to him: compassion, friendship and hope.

Fin

AN: This is supposed to be ambiguous and I apologize for this seemingly lack of plot. There is no love-dovey relationship. That's why I purposely left the identity of the girl until the very end. Still, I would really appreciate your comments, good, bad ... I will even gracefully take a flame if they are constructive in terms of telling me how to improve. Thanks a lot.