Chapter 17 – Desolate Illusions

Serena awoke with a major urge to use the bathroom. All the drinking last night just went straight through her and she was literally going to wet herself if she didn't go now. She braced herself. Clenching her teeth she threw off the covers and made a mad dash to the loo. After feeling MUCH relieved, she washed her hands in the icy water and then made her way back to her room, hugging her arms to keep warm. She jumped back into bed and snuggled against her pillow.

"Shit, what time is it?" She heard Eve mutter from across the room. Serena didn't even open her eyes.

"Like 5:50," She said softly. She heard Eve groan and Heather mumble something inaudible.

"I totally drank way to much last night," Eve said. Serena smiled.

"Yes, you did," She said. She heard Eve's quick intake of breath as she got out of bed.

"Fuck is it cold!" She heard her say. She giggled to herself having just gone through that, but now warm and toasty in her bed. It was quiet for a little and Serena knew Eve had gone to visit the bathroom. But, she returned shortly enough.

"Well, its 6:00 now," She announced, loudly. "You should all get up."

It was Serena's turn to groan. For a response she received the blankets being ripped quickly off her body. Serena gasped.

"You bitch!" She cried, teeth chattering. Eve smiled and moved on to Heather's bed as Serena donned her school robe and made her way slowly back to the bathroom. It wasn't long before Eve, Heather, and then Hattie and Elizabeth. They all brushed their teeth, washed their faces, and showered. Other girls were already piling in, and they were happy to have used it before a crowd came. Serena returned to her room to apply her makeup and fix her hair. Lastly she threw on her blouse and skirt, knee highs and shoes before they all walked to the great hall.

People were still filing in as Serena drank her coffee, savoring the hot sweetness and caffeine. The food appeared after a few minutes when more people had appeared. They breakfasted surprisingly loudly, chatting quite a bit for girls who had stayed up late drinking the night before. Luckily Serena did not have a hangover. She had paced herself and made sure not to get drunk, while Eve and Heather on the other hand drank their fill, but were not paying for it.

Soon breakfast was over, and the students left to go to their various classes. Serena met Tom on her way out and stopped to say hello.

"Wow, I still can't believe we won!" She said, smiling. Tom smirked, rather arrogantly.

"I don't know why you doubted," He said, "after all, you were partnered with me." Serena rolled her eyes.

"And you were partnered with me," She said. "So, you shouldn't have been so confident."

"I knew we would win because I was partnered with you," He said. Serena's mouth dropped.

"Aw, a compliment from you! And so early in the morning. I haven't even tried to seduce you yet!" She said, most surprised, but very flattered. He was not one to dole out compliments often. He smiled smugly.

"Not yet, so you do plan on it?" He asked, raising a curious eyebrow. She sighed.

"Thomas, you should know better by now. Honestly, when don't I?" She laughed. He cocked his head.

"That is true…You are quite the promiscuous one," He said. She rolled her eyes.

"You only think so," She said. He smirked. He knew she wasn't, because he wouldn't let her give any attention to anyone else. She was his.

"So, I probably won't see you for awhile, because of exams and I know we'll both be studying like crazy," She said.

"I don't need to study," He said conceitedly. She rolled her eyes again.

"Fine, I will be studying like crazy, and I won't have time for fun until after the exams," She said. He nodded.

"But we will be alone during the Transfiguration one," He hinted. She smiled flirtatiously.

"So I'll eagerly await it," She said, careful not to hug or kiss him in front of everyone else, knowing he wouldn't like that. She smiled a good bye and left with everyone else for their classes.

In most, the students were hard pressed, taking down notes on what will be on the exams. After all they were only two weeks away. And those two weeks passed by oh-so-quickly. Before they knew it, it was the night before the first exam.

"What does the sun represent in the Fool card?" Heather asked them.

"The…uh…"Eve started.

"It represents the life energy that is forever rising," Serena said. Eve glowered at her.

"I knew that," She said. Serena rolled her eyes. "Sure…"

"Another one," Eve said.

"Ok, what does the crown atop the Empress's head represent?" Heather asked.

Silence.

"Well…?" Heather prompted.

"The…"Serena started.

"Oh!" Eve cried. "The 12 signs of the zodiac!"

"Right. Merlin you all are going to fail this exam," Heather said. Serena knew she was right. Their Divination exam the next day was going to focus on advanced tea leave readings, advanced tarot card readings, and advanced analysis of predictions. She was good with tea readings and analyzing one's foretelling, but she was terrible with tarot cards. She liked divination in general. She thought it was very fun, and she couldn't really deny that she believed in it a little as well, even though it was against her better judgment. But then again, sometimes she couldn't help what she felt, like her belief in the power to foretell the future, or her feelings for Tom. It was bad, and annoying at times, but there wasn't much she could do about it.

"Serena?" Heather's voice brought her back from reality.

"What?" She asked them. "Sorry, I was thinking. I just drifted off."

"Anyways, moving on…"

0-0-0

They stayed up studying late until Serena felt completely prepared, but really, just too tired to care anymore. Besides, being exhausted wouldn't help her do well on it. She went to bed and woke up the next morning wishing she had stayed up later to study more.

She studied all through breakfast and even had her girlfriends quiz her as they made their way up to the tower where their classes were held. They took turns going in at once, and before long, it was Serena's turn.

"Oh good morning Serena," Professor Leena greeted her. Serena smiled warmly back. She really liked Professor Leena and Professor Leena favored her a little as well.

"Good morning," She replied.

"Are we ready?" Professor Leena asked her. Serena nodded.

"I think so," She said, she hoped. Professor Leena set out the deck of cards and had Serena read her future, and intricately describe the cards, their individual weight, and the weight they carried towards the overall meaning of the cards. She bumbled her way through that, not really sure how she did, but afterwards, did a tea reading of Ms. Leena's cup. That, she knew she aced. At the end, Professor Leena seemed pleased and led her to the door.

"Oh, sweetheart, before I forget," Professor Leena stopped her. Serena turned around.

"I thought I should tell you…"

"Tell me what?" Serena asked.

"I had a dream last night," She said. Serena looked at her teacher, waiting for more information. "About you, that is."

"Really?" Serena asked curiously. Professor Leena nodded.

"Oh darling, it was so dark. So sad! You were chained so tightly. No freedom at all. Overpowering loneliness, pain…and yet such bleak hope. Such hope that would never be," Professor Leena said, her eyes even seeming sad. Serena shivered.

"Is this part of the exam, Professor?" She asked. Surely that wasn't her future. It would be happy, full of the love of her friends and family. What on earth was she talking about?

"No, dear. While, it was just a dream, not a prophecy. However, though just a dream, and not necessarily true, my dream was so powerful it scared me. I fear for you, Serena. You will never be free of him," Leena said. Serena's breath caught.

"Who?" She asked softly, though she feared she already knew the answer.

"I cannot say, for I do not know. He was only an image in my mind. An image of power, power and pure darkness," Leena said, taking Serena's hand. Her heart was pounding in her chest, but she could not tear her eyes from the Professor's.

"But Professor, surely that was just a dream, I mean I'm fine. What could possibly happen to me?" She asked her. The Professor was shaking.

"His power already coils around you. Soon, it will begin to choke you, snuffing out the things you hold most dear," the Professor continued. She wished she would stop. She didn't want to know. A lump formed in her throat. She couldn't speak.

"You…" the Professor started. "I'm sorry." She finished. Serena couldn't speak. Her lips were dry and her palms sweaty. She stepped back from the Professor and left the room.

"Hey how'd you do?" Heather and Eve asked her as she stepped out of the room. Serena could only look at them.

"What's wrong?" They asked her, immediately sensing her fear. Serena shook her head.

"Nothing, I just got my period, I have to go to the bathroom," She lied. Heather and Eve accepted this, and Serena took her opportunity to leave.

She walked rather quickly through the halls, not really paying any attention to where she was going. She just needed to walk. She needed to think.

How could that be true? Her life was going to be happy. She wouldn't be alone. She would be surrounded by her friends and family. She had been her whole life. She never found herself truly being lonely. What did it mean? Nothing, she tried to convince herself. It had to mean nothing. And what was she talking about with Tom? It was Tom she was hinting at wasn't it? Who else? She chided herself. Her hands were shaking. Her heart was pounding. It was just a dream. Just a dream!

She ambled down the halls, not looking and who should she end up bumping into? The very last person she wanted to see.

"Serena!"

Shit. With a sinking feeling she looked up into Tom's eyes. She couldn't even force a smile. Immediately he changed.

"What's wrong?" He asked protectively drawing her into his arms. She lightly tried to push away, but being far stronger than her, he overpowered her. She could only stare into his face with teary, frightened eyes.

"Serena, what's wrong?" He asked again, tilting her head up to face him. "Did someone hurt you? Did someone touch you?" She shook her head slowly. How could she tell him a dream was making her so upset? He'd laugh.

"Tell me. I swear they'll pay," He said, his arms shook her shoulders. She shook her head again.

"No one hurt me," She said softly, finally finding her voice.

"Then what is wrong?" He asked her.

"I…it's nothing," She said, casting away her eyes.

"Serena," He said her name softly. His hands fell off her shoulders, but only for a second. She thought for a minute he was going to let it go and leave her to think about it more, but she was wrong. Instead, he bent down and picked her up.

"Tom!" She cried, without making too big of a fuss. He walked on, taking her back up to her common room. Once they were at the painting he waited for her to say the password, before carrying her inside.

"Tom! People will see! You shouldn't be in here," She said. But no one was in the common room. They were all taking their exams, or waiting for their friends to finish theirs.

He swiftly carried her up to her own room and laid her gently on the bed. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, wishing he would leave. But he took a blanket off her trunk and wrapped her in it, before joining her on the bed.

Gently he stroked her hair, and pushed it over her shoulder. His fingers gently pulled her chin towards him, so she faced him.

"Serena," He whispered, his voice soft and comforting. "Tell me what is wrong? I don't like the idea of something causing you discomfort."

She searched his eyes but found only concern.

"Professor Leena,…"She started. "She had a dream about me. Well, about my future. And, let's just say it wasn't nice. She didn't tell me if she saw anything, only sadness, and loneliness, and…pain," She finished, forcing herself to meet Tom's eyes again. His brow was furrowed.

"It was but a dream," He said, rubbing her back. She started tearing; all the stress of exams piling up and then hearing her life was going to suck. What was the point?

"But I don't want a terrible life!" She cried, falling into his chest. His strong arms encircled her. "I want to be happy. I don't want my friends and family to die. She said..." Serena hiccupped,"She said all the things I hold dear will be ripped away from me! I don't want that, Tom," She cried. Too much stress and too little sleep, and now she found herself crying to Tom about a silly little dream. But she couldn't help herself.

"I want to live. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. I don't want them to die, and I don't want to be alone," She murmured.

"You won't. I'll make sure of it," He said. But she wasn't sure if that would help her situation at all. "I don't like the idea of anyone causing you pain, Serena. Do not worry yourself with stupid dreams. I never believed in divination. I always thought it was a useless thing." He tilted her head up to face him. "We shape our own destinies," He said. "We decide. Not fate." She wiped her eyes with the corner of her sleeve. Was he right? It didn't matter. She stayed wrapped in his arms for a while later, before he kissed her gently good bye and she fell asleep.