Amity POV
Amity sat on her bed at home. She had decided not to go to work again. This was the 7th day in a row, and she had officially been not working for a week now. She feigned an illness to get out of her responsibilities. And although she wasn't physically sick, mentally, she could only remember a few times she felt worse.
The reason for Amity feeling so sick was that just 8 days ago, she had graduated. She was 18 now, a full fledged witch, and an adult in their society. She was expected to choose a coven, and have her entire life change. To begin on a new path, and a new chapter in her life. Yet... Amity couldn't bring herself to feel happy right now.
She should be, and she knew that. She was class valedictorian. Top grades in every class she took... However, Amity felt inside herself that it wasn't deserved. There was one other student who had given her a run for her position like no other. The only individual to ever take all of hexides tracks at once. To never settle for anything less than they wanted. To learn all the magic they ever could. And, despite the dramatically increased workload, had still managed to be top in nearly all their classes when they attended.
And that person was Luz the human. When Luz still attended Hexide School of Magic and Demonics, she had rather quickly risen to the top in most of her classes. She was an amazing student, smart and a quick learner. Sure, some things she struggled with. The History of the Boiling Isles being one of her hardest subjects. However, despite knowing next to nothing about the Boiling Isles, she still absorbed all the information that was thrown at her like a sponge, and in the few short months she was enrolled, Luz had learned more history on the Island than almost any of its inhabitants.
As Amity lay in her bed, reflecting and remembering, one thought kept coming to her. Luz should have been the top of the class. She should have been valedictorian... Amity knew she was smart. She prided herself at being the best at everything she did. That was why, no matter how hard she tried, Luz had never managed to best Amity in abominations. Amity was too good at what she knew best.
However, being an expert, master and more in just one single track was nothing compared to being a master in all of the different tracks. Sure, Amity's sheer skill in abominations made it so that she was better in that class than Luz was in any of her classes. Relatively speaking of course. But that didn't mean that Luz's accomplishments were without merit. The human not only could have been Hexides number one student, but would have been. She deserved it, more than anyone else. She worked much harder. Went through so much more.
And yet, in the end, it was Amity that was appointed.
And the guilt she felt ate away at her. She felt like she stole something that belonged to Luz. Took away an achievement, a title, that should have been hers. Sure, before Luz came to the Isles, Amity would have been valedictorian. That she was sure of. She also would not have felt so guilty if she had earned it over another hard working student. But Luz was something else. Luz had broken down every wall Amity had carefully constructed around herself like a rampaging beast. Demolishing every last atom of them as she shattered Amity's entire world, and completely stole her heart.
Amity smiled sadly at the thought. Luz really had taken everything from her if she thought about it. Luz took away her snobby outlook on life, completely changed all her plans and dreams for her future. She had taken away her smug confidence and replaced it with nervous yet giddy anticipation and joy. She had changed Amity's twisted view on family and compassion, and taught her a new way to care and love. She had shown Amity all her mistakes, and helped her fix them.
If you looked at their interactions in a negative light, Luz had been a category 6 Gorenado in Amity's life. Completely uprooted and destroyed everything she once knew, and left a mess of new things in its wake. Yet, Amity couldn't even look at her life in that manner seriously. Luz might have been a chaotic force, but it was a good chaos. She had made Amity's life so much better in such a short time that nothing ever seemed to matter any more.
Amity didn't mourn her old life for even a second. Luz really had turned her world upside down... Or perhaps, it was more correct to say that she had turned Amity's world rightside up. She had helped Amity correct her outlooks on life, and made everything better with that bright toothy grin of hers.
Amity felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the award placed on her shelf again. Luz being so amazing is what made Amity regret her award so much. She didn't deserve it. Luz did. Luz not only was the top student when enrolled, but was able to do that and so much more, and still be a happy person. She had mountains of homework, she constantly was out on dangerous tasks with Eda, was getting into all sorts of trouble, and hanging out with friends. Researching for a way home, and stressing about how she could still stay in the Boiling Isles. And despite it all, she still found time to help Amity. She still found time to do so many amazing things.
She had worked so much harder than anyone Amity had ever seen. Luz worked harder than Amity did herself. And yet... She was still politive. Stress never seemed to get to her. Sure, Amity knew that wasn't completely true. Luz still worried over tests and the like. But so much more often, Luz took everything in stride in a perfect way. And now... instead of Luz being awarded and complimented for all of her hard work, it was Amity.
No, Amity didn't actually steal any credit. She was awarded for her own dedication and determination. Yet... It still felt wrong to the witch. It felt so wrong to be awarded when she didn't think she deserved it. To be given something so amazing that really shouldn't be hers. And worst of all...
Amity didn't even get to see Luz at graduation.
At this, she began to sob. Even 4 years ago, Luz had been so overly excited at the thought of graduating from a witch school Of making a place for herself in the Demon Realm. She and Amity had talked for hours about different dreams Luz had about her future here. And now... Amity felt that she had betrayed Luz. She had graduated without her. Gone on with her life without her. Moved on.
And it wasn't true! Amity thought of Luz daily. Several times a day even. She had never "moved on" and never would... Yet, she felt guilty. She was worried that that was how it looked. That she had moved past Luz. Gone on with her life, and left the few short months that the human was in her life behind without a second thought.
And it worried Amity that somehow, Luz would learn of this. That she would see the false truth. She would see that Amity no longer cared about her. That she was going forward in life without her. And Amity couldn't take it. She cried harder, whimpering Luz's name to herself, staining her pillows with her tears.
She cried every day over the last week. She hadn't cried over Luz this much since she first vanished 4 years ago. Sure, in her weak moments, or times important to the two of them, Amity would still cry. But it is rare now. She didn't avoid her emotions, or stuff them down. It was just that tears were no longer the main result. Instead, it was longing, and sad smiles of remembrance.
Yet due to the magnitude that graduation was, it made Amity really realize how much Luz was missing. How much they had missed together. And all it did was bring Amity to tears again and again. This was why she called in. She was in no mood to work. Or in any shape to work either. Her mental health was at an all time low. She felt fragile and raw. Her temper would flare up more than ever, and the last thing she wanted to do was shout at one of the kids at work.
She felt bad enough with how she treated her family. In the last week, Emira had gained a black eye, Hunter was gifted with a broken nose, her father with a slap across the face, Edric was graced with being knocked out, King had been tossed across the room when looking to cuddle, and only Eda so far had escaped harm. Mostly because she was avoiding Amity right now after she saw how everyone else was fairing.
And it wasn't like Amity took joy in hurting them. But, in her current state, she had 0 patience. Most of the time, they were just trying to comfort her, or help her. But the way something would come off or be said just sounded insensitive, and she had lashed out before even thinking. The one time she tried to leave the house, she ran into Boscha, and the triclops had gone home with a broken arm, both her and Amity coated in bruises, scratches and dirt.
Amity sighed at the thought. None of her family had even done anything wrong. Only Boscha actually deserved what she got coming. Maybe that's why she got hurt so much worse... Serves her right. Amity thought.
Emira had tried to hug Amity from behind, telling her that it was okay, and Luz would never be mad at her for being awarded. Amity had simply swung her fist up over her shoulder into Emira's face, and stomped away.
Hunter had tried to take her mind off things by sparing, but things went sour when he tried to use it as a moment to get Amity to talk. They were trading softer blows, not meant to harm, only practice in hand to hand. He asked if Luz was what had her on edge, and her fist connected with his face so fast, he never had a chance to try and block it.
Edric had tried to make an Illusion of Luz congratulating her to cheer Amity up. But for that, she had simply clobbered him over the head, knocking the poor witch out in just seconds. Stomping away fuming and angry.
King missed Luz too, and when he heard that Amity was sad, he tried to cuddle with her. He often did that, and Amity always appreciated it. But when the small demon said that everything would be okay, and that Luz would never hate her, Amity had flung the little Demon across the room, shouting something she didn't even remember before leaving until well after dinner.
And poor Hooty was more scared of Amity than ever. He had tried to greet her good morning. He didn't even intrude on her personal space, but she had been in the middle of crying. And when he startled her, she lost it and mauled the poor bird tube. The unfortunate demon was out for several days after that, and since then, had not spoken to Amity once. When she approached the house to return home the few times she left, he silently opened the door, acting as if he were nothing more than a decoration.
It wasn't fair to any of them, she knew that. And she had sent them each an apology, though not in person. She knew that she was too tense right now, and didn't want to risk any other altercations. She expressed as much, and made sure to tell them all that she would apologize again in person once she wasn't so... Hostile.
Amity sighed again. What would Luz think of her? All that progress they made. Amity had turned a new leaf and was no longer cruel and mean back then. And Luz had told her how proud she was several times. Yet, here she was now, full on attacking her family at the smallest thing. She sobbed.
"She would be so disappointed in me..." She cried. "She would say something along the lines of how she knew I would never change, and just dump me on the spot!" She sobbed harder, muffling her wails into her pillow.
"Is that really what you think?" She heard from her window. Jumping up in shock, Amity looked out, to see Eda the Owl Lady sitting on the roof nearby, looking out into the horizon. Amity's first instinct was to shove her away for eavesdropping, but when she climbed out the window, the wind was knocked out of her by a strong arm wrapping around her.
She squeaked out in surprise. In the 4 years she lived at The Owl House, Eda had never hugged her. And that fact was enough to stop Amity's hostile thoughts for the moment. She blinked looking at Eda, and saw tears in the older witches' eyes. Something she hadn't seen since the day Luz vanished and Eda thought she had died.
"Is that really what you think Luz would say to you if she saw you now? Because if so, then you really didn't know her, and were a terrible girlfriend" Eda said plainly, smirking at Amity.
"What?! I was an awesome girlfriend!" Amity snapped back, her temper flaring up. She tried to lash out at Eda for saying such a thing. Her vision tinted red in rage.
"Oh really? Says who? You?" Eda asked, still holding her tight. Maybe this wasn't a hug, just a way to restrain Amity and protect herself.
"Says Luz! She said so herself when we returned from Eclipse Lake!" Amity shouted.
"If she really said that, then why would she say cruel things to you now?" Eda asked, and again, Amity lost her breath.
"The way I see it, Luz either loved ya, or hated ya. And as far as I am aware, you were one of those people at the top of the first list." Eda mused, smiling. "And when Luz loved someone, she would never speak badly of them. Not even in her worst moments. She never lashed out, never was mean. Even when she was vulnerable, she made sure those she loved knew she loved them." Eda stated.
"Now this isn't me digging at you. Luz had compassion like no person in existence. Not in the Human Realm or in the Demon Realm. I don't think any other soul could be as forgiving as Luz was, or as compassionate. So, your temper is fine, and I am not here to reprimand you on that. However..." Eda continued
"If you are going to taint your own image of Luz in your frustration, that I won't allow. One day, we will get her back. And what she will need is the people she loves to love her back too. And that wont happen if all you are going to do is sit here and convince yourself she would leave you. That will just build up into resentment, and eventually, hatred." She stated. "Don't ask me how I know." She added on.
Amity sat silently, thinking about what Eda had said for several moments. And in the end, concluded that she was right.
"So, now that you calmed down a bit, as yourself, for real this time, what Luz would say to you if she saw you now. And don't forget that Luz was a very observant person when it comes to emotions. She would see the pain you are in, and take that into account."
Amity thought for a few moments before responding.
"She would probably say something dumb, but also sweet. About how maybe my actions might not be the best way to respond to everyone, but that I shouldn't be so hard on myself with what I am going through. That it is okay to be angry and upset, so long as I don't let it control me. Then she would probably quote some goofy line from a book she read that would perfectly fit the moment, and hug me, and tell me everything would be alright..." She finished.
Eda smiled, and this time, properly embraced Amity. "That's much better. Now, I may not be Luz, and I may not have any goofy lines from her corny books, but what I can do is offer you the support you need. If you need to get your anger out, be it verbally or physically, just come to me, and tell me. I can take it. I am not called the strongest witch in the Boiling Isles for nothing!" She said pridefully, separating to smile at the young witch before her.
"But I mean it. Luz may not be here to comfort you the way you really need, but everyone here cares about you, and wants to see you happy. We all want you to feel proud of what you accomplish, and to find a way to be happy with yourself. And I can guarantee you, that Luz would too." Eda smiled, placing a hand on Amity's shoulder.
Amity nodded, finally accepting these words that everyone had tried to tell her. She smiled at Eda. "That you, Eda... I... I needed to hear that. And I don't think I would have listened if you hadn't made me." Amity laughed.
Eda could only cackle in response. "Oh, I noticed. It actually took a lot of courage on my part too, to approach you. When it comes to Luz, you get very dangerous if you are not happy." Eda laughed harder. "Almost like someone insulted you where it hurts most. And while I am glad that you care for her so deeply, maybe save that fury for Belos when we one day confront him."
Amity nodded, and leaned against Eda's shoulder, looking out over the horizon. "We... We will find her... right?" She asked in a small voice. She felt Eda's arm come around her shoulder, and pull her into a tight side hug.
"We will. I promise. Even if it's the last thing I ever do. We will find Luz, and we will save her."
Amity hugged Eda close, wishing that day would come sooner.