Chapter 25 – Sultry Amends
Tom's dark eyes traced her figure. Her breathing had slowed and he could tell she was sleeping now. For awhile her breathing had been a bit erratic, and he could tell she was crying. Not sobbing, but definitely crying. In fact, bending over to look at her, he saw the makeup smears on her face and the wet pillow, proof that she had in fact shed tears over him. He stopped to ponder that a minute. He didn't think anyone in their entire life had spared him as much attention as she had, much less their tears. Shit! He cursed himself. Though he was a master at everything else, she was just something he didn't seem to be handling well. The situation had to be rectified. He was not one who lost control of something and he would not lose control of this, of her. He knew what she wanted him to say. But he couldn't. Just three simple words would make everything alright, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Because, if he said it out loud to her, he would realize it would be true, and he couldn't do that yet. He couldn't admit it to her yet, not even to himself. Love was a weakness. It built a dependency on people, the only things in this world you could not depend on. It fed off of their returned feelings, and who knew how long they would actually last. It was a tool for his demise. When he finally did gain power, the enemy had but to take her and if he had admitted his love for her, he would be forced to rescue her/save her/ and feel her pain. All of those were things he did not care to deal with or think about. He had too many other things at the moment to worry about than his alleged feelings, which, he told himself, weren't there. No. He wouldn't lie to her. He wouldn't lie to himself. He would have to save the situation by something else.
Damn. He sat up, pushing away his silken sheets off his body. Resting his head on his hand, he turned to study her. She had rolled back over so she was facing him now. Her mascara and eyeliner had smeared and run in strange circular designs on her face. Her chocolate hair sprayed out over her shoulders, covering her chest from his prying eyes. He sighed and turned back up to her face. A wave of something he didn't comprehend, but was in fact guilt, washed over him as he watched her. Even in sleep, she seemed sad, her mouth slightly tilted down in the faint outline of a frown. Her eyebrows were squinted together, and a cloud of unhappiness seemed to encircle her. Tom sighed again and slipped out of bed. He walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Shit. He had never felt like this before. Never in his life had he understood what it was like to hurt because of someone else's pain, pain which he himself had caused. It was new. It was strange. And he didn't think he liked it. But, turning to gaze at her sleeping form, he realized he did like it. More than anything else he'd ever felt before.
It scared him.
He shook his head and put on the shower, letting the water wash out any more perilous thoughts.
Once he had finished his shower and had calmed himself down a bit, he looked to a clock on the wall. It was four in the morning and he could definitely not go back to bed. No. He had to think of a way to get her back without pledging his heart to her. He threw on a pair of boxers and pants, his school robe and slippers before slipping down his staircase.
He seated himself on his couch, absentmindedly twirling his wand in his fingers. He vaguely thought that killing someone right about now might ease his troubles, or just entertain him and give him something else to think about, but felt too lazy to get up and find someone. He continued thinking for a while longer, before his eyes alit, sparkling in the moonlit darkness as an idea came to him. He ran back upstairs, careful not to wake Serena and just as quickly disappeared out into the empty hallways.
Serena's eyes squinted in the early morning sunlight. Her head was groggy, her face felt stiff. She frowned, confused for a minute before she remembered. Turning over, she saw Tom was not there anymore. Stretching her arm over the surface of the sheets, she thought about how it had turned so bad. She remembered her beautiful night with Tom. She remembered them dancing together and then sneaking off to his bedroom. And she remembered his using Legilimency to read her thoughts. She remembered him making her reveal her feelings to him, ones that she herself didn't want to reveal to him because she knew he wouldn't reciprocate them. And that was just what had happened. She had succumbed. She told the truth. And for what? Of course he wouldn't tell her he loved her. It was Tom Riddle, or should she say Lord Voldemort. She felt so embarrassed. So hurt. But the thing that pained her most of all, was that she honestly thought he possessed those feelings for her. Well, she had hoped he did. But she was such a fool! She thought, as waves of sadness shook her. She closed her eyes and shook her head. No. She would not cry over him anymore. And, she wouldn't let him know she was embarrassed about the night before. It was just another fault for him to find with her. Brushing her hair out of her face, she sat up and pushed herself out of bed, wrapping a sheet around her naked body. Deciding she looked like crap and felt like it too, she went to the bathroom and shut the door.
She washed her face, removing her dark makeup from the night before. Normally she washed her face before she went to bed. In fact, she was rather obsessive about that, but after the previous night's events, she just hadn't bothered to do it. She gave her face a vigorous scrub and dried it gently with the towel. Stepping away from the sink, she put on the shower. She slipped out of the sheet that had covered her and jumped into the shower. As she washed her hair, she began to wonder where on earth Tom was. He wasn't in his bedroom, which was just fine with her, but she didn't hear him downstairs either. It was a bit unlike him to leave her alone in his room, but at the moment she didn't care. Rising out her conditioner, she turned off the faucet and grabbed one of Tom's towel's hoping it was at least somewhat clean.
As she wrapped it around her body, a small gasp escaped her mouth as she noticed it was slightly damp. That was definitely weird, she thought. She didn't think she'd heard the shower this morning. Shaking her head, she made do and dried her body and then attempted to dry her hair. It was still very damp after several attempts, so she gave up and used a hair drying spell. Afterwards, she decided to put on a light makeup spell, no eye shadow and under lid eyeliner, just mascara, a thin line of eyeliner on her upper lashes, and light blush. She put her smooth chocolate hair into a messy bun, and, as she stared at her reflection, realized she had nothing to wear.
"Damn," She swore out loud. Picking up the very damp towel, she put it around herself and stepped back into Tom's room. She placed her hands on her hips and surveyed the room. She was definitely not putting that silk dress back on. It was way too tight and she'd just look stupid. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked over to Tom's dresser and rifled through his drawers, finally picking a big, button down shirt. She picked up her underwear and bra on the way back to the bathroom before throwing on his shirt, which was so big it fell a little past her hips. Satisfied, she exited the bathroom and set off to find Tom. Hopefully, he was just downstairs and she wouldn't have to leave his common room. Otherwise, she would need more/different clothes. Well, she sighed, if he wasn't downstairs, she would just go back to her own common room anyways. It was still early and breakfast probably hadn't even started yet.
Stepping out of his room and saw Tom sitting at the bottom of the stairs, and reading the Daily Prophet. She couldn't tell if she was happy or not to see him, but felt herself blush as she walked down the stairs.
Tom heard a creak on the stairs and turned to look up to her, climbing down. She was dressed in, really, only his shirt and immediately he felt his pulse beat faster. He cursed himself again for fucking things up the night before, knowing he wouldn't be able to do anything with her this morning.
She caught his eye as she neared the bottom of the steps, and he rose as her bare feet touched the ground.
"Good morning," He forced, awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. She fluttered her eyes up at him and smiled briefly.
"Good morning," She returned, softly, looking down. Tom looked away too and for a minute they stood in one hell of an awkward silence.
"How'd you sleep?"
"What are you doing?" They both said at the same time. Serena blushed and giggled softly as Tom smiled slightly, looking away.
"So," He started again. "How'd you sleep?" Serena wanted to roll her eyes.
"Fine. You?" She asked, merely out of politeness.
"Fine," He stammered.
"So…What were you doing sitting on the stairs?" Serena asked. Tom smiled.
"Well, I was waiting for you," He said. She raised a brow. He offered her his arm and tentatively, she took it, placing hers through crook it made. He led her the short distance around the stairs so she could see the couch. Her mouth fell open. Spread out all over the tables were cadies, fruit, whipped cream, different flavor muffins and covered plates. A coffee pot, a small pot of cream and mugs stood at one corner and in the center, next to a golden box of chocolates, was a bouquet of white Lilies. Serena turned to look at Tom, confused. He smiled in return and nodded for her to continue. She took a few hesitant steps forward, reaching the table. She bent down at smelled the flowers. Her favorite. She felt Tom standing a little behind her. She vaguely noticed he was keeping his distance.
"Tom," She breathed, looking over to face him. "They're beautiful." He smiled again and came towards her. Slowly he bent down and picked a small Lilly and bent off the stem. Stepping close to her he placed the flower in her hair, the end sticking underneath her elastic holding her bun in place. She felt herself blush and looked away, but Tom's silent gaze remained fixed on her.
"May I inquire as to the occasion?" She finally asked.
"I just wanted to do something nice for you," He said. She glanced into his eyes and was surprised they were so murky.
"Oh. Well, thank you," She said.
"Actually," Tom started. Serena looked up at him. "I wanted to make up for last night." She didn't say anything, but looked away, embarrassed by the sheer memory of it.
"Serena. I was…" He said. "I've never said that to anyone before. I don't think I'm ready to…"
"Tom," She said, stepping close to him so that their faces were mere inches apart. She took his hands in hers.
"Serena, I want you," He said. "That's all I know for sure right now. I can't offer you marriage in the future, a family, or even my heart, but I'll support you, care for you and lavish you in riches. The only thing I can offer you is a place in my future as only my Queen. I'm sorry."
"Tom!" She sighed, throwing her arms around his neck. She felt his arms circle her waist, squeezing her to him. She pulled away slightly, his hands still on her waist.
"It's ok," She told him. "I understand. Just to be with you will be fine." He stared at her. Her dark brown eyes twinkled at him, and, though she was only wearing his shirt (which had a good many buttons, unbuttoned), and a flower in her hair, she looked like an angle to him. No one in his life had ever understood him. That might have been because he'd never let anyone, but no one had ever tried. She had. And he thought that maybe, she might.
He felt her lips touching his, gently, reassuring. His grip on her tightened as he deepened the kiss.
"Tom!" She giggled, pulling away. She smiled, staring into his eyes, and he gazed back. They stood like that a moment.
"You should eat, before it gets cold," He said, finally. Serena smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the couch. He sat down as she opened the covered containers and peered inside.
On one plate was eggs and bacon and on the other French toast.
"Oh Tom it's delicious!" She cried as she took a bite of the toast, dipping it in some syrup. He smiled.
"I'm glad you like it."
"Here, have some," She said, holding out a small piece. He smirked before bending down and taking the food from her fingers with his mouth, causing a giggle to escape her. He smiled as he chewed. It was good. Soon they had picked their way through everything, alternating between eating and drinking warm, nicely creamed and sugared coffee. Serena felt bad about eating so much, but as Tom went to so much work, she shrugged it away, honestly not caring. She took one of the chocolates and gasped as caramel dripped out of it. Tom laughed and she licked it away. Then they both moved on to the fruit, spraying generous helpings onto the strawberries and banana slices. Tom held out a strawberry for her and she sprayed the whipped cream on it, a little landing on Tom's shirt.
"Whoops," Serena laughed, bending down and licking it off, her lips resting on his chest a bit longer than necessary. His eyes glinted and he smiled seductively.
"So that's how you want to play," He said. She smiled mischievously. Soon they got into a fight, spraying whipped cream over each other and well, licking it off, but that led to other activities and more kissing and soon they forgot about their breakfast.
A while later, Serena pushed away from Tom giggling.
"I should be getting back," She sighed. He sighed too.
" Yeah, I have work I actually have to do today," He said sadly. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before running upstairs to grab her clothes. A minute later she was running back downstairs in a pair of Tom's boxers. He frowned.
"You can't go out there like that," He said.
"Why? Everyone'll be just finishing breakfast, so no one will see me," She said, closing a few buttons on her shirt. He just shook his head.
"Anyways, I'll see you later, ok?" She said, kissing him once the cheek. He turned her face and gave her a kiss on the lips before she nipped at his nose and slipped out of the door, giving a sultry wink back.