IX.. I'm Happy Just to Dance With You

Before this dance is through,
I think I'll love you too,
I'm so happy when you dance with me.
I don't wanna kiss or hold your hand,
If it's funny, try an' understand.
There is nothing else I'd rather do,
'Cos I'm happy just to dance with you.
I don't need to hug or hold you tight,
I just wanna dance with you all night,
In this world there's nothing I would rather do,
'Cos I'm happy just to dance with you.

The music blasts throughout the entire auditorium, notes bouncing off the walls, filling our ears. I hadn't been to a semi-formal in two years, and even then, I was with Craig or I was alone. I'm happy I'm not alone tonight, sitting alone in a corner, making a mental note about how today's youth didn't know good music when they heard it. Tonight, I don't care, as girls swoop by in gowns, glitter, and high heels, and guys fix ties, cufflinks, and gelled hair. Even Snake has glammed up, in a crisp, brown suit with a golden tie. He spins records, records I'm sure Emma helped him pick out because they were actually up to date. The entire room is decked in gold balloons, white streamers, and silver and gold fringe. On the table, scattered around, is clapboard and film roll confetti, an ice sculpture of a movie camera, punch, and cookies shaped like palm trees. Above the table is a banner: "Degrassi's Class of 2007: Stars of Tomorrow."

Craig and I glance at each other, then enter. We didn't talk on the way there, but when he opened the door and saw me in my dress, he gave me an approving nod which was as satisfying as any words that could come out of his mouth. It was a simple dress, long and peach, with a few sequins on the bodice, nothing showy. It was all I had. But he seemed to like it, and finally said so.

"Well, you're definitely the prettiest girl here," says Craig, as we head for the center of the room.

"Thank you," I say. "Next to these other girls, I feel a bit naked."

Craig eyes me mischievously. "Really?"

"Shut up," I say, looking away and smiling.

"So what's the theme?" asks Craig, coyly changing the subject.

"Hollywood Heaven," I say. "Manny's idea, I believe."

Craig and I reach the center of the floor. Spinner and Darcy are dancing to some hip-hop song, and Darcy gives Spinner a confused look as he flails his arms around.

"Spin...Spin," she yells over the music. "Just...just find the beat, baby."

Spinner attempts to moonwalk, and bumps into another guy's back. "Oops...sorry, man."

Darcy claps her hands to the rhythm. "We do this in cheerleading...one and a two and a three."

Spinner still doesn't seem to get it, and shrugs. He gives Craig a high five, and Darcy shakes her head at me.

"You totally stole that move from Jimmy," observes Craig.

"He could only steal it if it was done well," whispers Darcy in a volume I only can hear.

"So either you're here escorting Elvira or you're checking out the underage hotties?" says Spin, straightening his jacket.

"I'm with Ash," says Craig, draping his arm around me. "This is her night."

I blush and grin at Spinner, and surprisingly there are no comebacks. He shakes Craig's hand.

"Just have her home by a decent hour, eh, Manning?" says Spinner. "And no hanky-panky on the car ride home, right, Darcy?"

"Spin, you can say sex in front of me," says Darcy, rolling her eyes. "I'm not a nun."

"Yes, Sister Darcy," affirms Spinner. "Let's go get you some cookies."

"Not too many. Reducing my carbs."

"You girls and your Zen diets."

"Zone, Spin."

Spinner and Darcy head for the snack table, while Craig and I survey the room. We're the only two people not dancing to a slow, guitar-heavy ballad. In the corner of my eye, I spot Toby and Manny dancing cheek-to-cheek, the top of her chignon pushing up his glasses. His eyes are closed, definitely savoring the moment. Peter and Emma are talking animatedly in a corner, with him lifting the left flap of his jacket now and then. Jimmy and Hazel, holding hands, are chatting with Snake. Everyone was doing something, except us.

"So?" I say, nervously.

"So...you choose what we get to do first. It is your prom after all," replies Craig.

"But didn't you miss yours last year?"

"I did, but the one person I wanted to dance with was across the pond," says Craig, smiling. "So it was no huge loss."

I take his hand and put it on my waist. "What if we pretend it's both our nights?"

Craig guides my hands to his shoulders. "I'm definitely okay with that."

We dance slowly, under the silver lights of the spotlights in the gym, to the strings of a stranger's guitar. It feels as right as it did in the club we went to, the night Craig proposed. It was all a little crazy then, but now it's peaceful, sweet, perfect.

"You look really good tonight, Craig," I say. "Very, very debonair."

"Thank you," says Craig.

"So, honestly how long did it take you to get ready?"

"Not long..."

I lightly pinch his shoulder. "Tell."

Craig sighs. "A couple hours. Did some breath checks, ironed the pants, Angie told me I looked like a wedding singer reject, that kind of thing."

"From what I heard, you made a pretty good wedding singer," I say.

Craig winks at me. "That never leaves this little space."

"Our little space," I say shyly, but proudly.

He holds me tighter, and looks into my eyes. I can't believe this is happening. A few days ago, I didn't think Craig would ever be here, or that he would forgive me, or that he'd even be thinking about me. But why should I have doubted it? Haven't we always been drawn to each other? Haven't we wound up in the same places without planning it– the record store, the hallway, graduation? It's like the room parts for us, knows we're looking for one another, no matter who's there or what the event is. I'm so thankful for these moments, and I wouldn't share them with anyone else.

"This space is getting pretty crowded," I say, as a pair of couples inch closer to us.

"I know a better one," whispers Craig, and we do a quick jog outside the auditorium, pretty difficult in my heels.

We stop and catch a breath, and we're in a dark hallway, a sliver of moonlight coming in through a window above. Craig turns me around and situates my body in a little spot of light, then brushes my hair back. It's the first time he's touched my hair since it was long. I feel glued to the floor as he stares at me.

"What is this, Craig," I ask.

"You don't remember?" he says, and he sounds a bit hurt.

I don't want him to be hurt, but I honestly don't know what to say. I glance around, at the lockers, at a few advertisements for the dance, at the water fountain.

"Sorry," I say.

"This is where I kissed you," recalls Craig. "You told me that you just had to look at me, and everything would be fine, and I kissed you."

I take a step back and stare at the spot. It was the spot, the spot where Craig awoke my senses, started the hesitations and finally, rekindled everything that made me fall for him in the first place. It wasn't easy, but it seemed so easy in that moment. I didn't speak then, because it was scary, because it was enthralling.

"I can't believe you remembered where..."

"I remember because this was the beginning of everything good after the bad stuff," assures Craig. "So I don't know...maybe we can just erase the bad and focus on the good, at least tonight. Cause there was a lot of good, Ash."

Craig, always the romantic, always the optimist. I step back until my back hits the lockers. He stares at me expectantly, and I know I have to say something.

"Craig, freshmen year, when you and I danced...that was the beginning of something special for me. No other guy looked at me the way you did, and liked what they saw. Then, junior year, I looked at you from across the stage when we were performing, and I knew that was it. That was when I wanted to start this whole new experience in England. But I feel like both those beginnings got tarnished somehow, you know? And not because of Manny or you or me...it just didn't come out right so..."

Craig shakes his head. "I can't guarantee it'll be all right. I just want us to start fresh."

"But that's the thing. I don't want to erase the bad. I want to learn from it, and...and keep going, I guess. I don't want to forget that I forgave you and you forgave me. I don't want to forget what it took to get here."

I'm not sure if my speech made sense as Craig's face falls for a second. It sounded weird to me as well, but Craig, keeping true to his word that I was the only "girl he got", rubs my shoulder and smiles.

"We don't need this for everything to be okay," he agrees.

"I like our history," I say, stepping forward. "No matter how strange it is."

"To history," whispers Craig, tilting my chin and moving in for a kiss.

I close my eyes, but feel something light and sharp jab my arm. I turn my face and Craig kisses the air next to my cheek. He looks up, disappointed, and we both stare down at a green cell phone. Manny walks briskly away from Toby, her face flushed. I guess she'd thrown it.

"I picked it up, Toby! It was her," yells Manny, cutting through us. "Sorry about the phone assault, Ash.I just threw it. I...I...I just didn't want to look at that phone anymore!."

Toby jogs next to her. "She was just wishing me a happy graduation. I haven't talked to her in two years. Ashley, tell her."

"What?" I say, wishing that they'd leave already.

"She's not even that cute...really," chirps Manny.

Toby grabs my arm and we follow Manny out. I look back, sorry to leave Craig for even a minute, the moonlight covering the curls on his head. I break out of Toby's hold and give him a stern stare.

"What's going on, Toby?" I demand.

"I was talking to J.T in the washroom. and my phone rang. She offered to hold it. But... Manny answered, and it...was Kendra. I had no idea she was going to call and now Manny's gone mental!."

I roll my eyes. "Toby, look, I'm sorry. But can't you do this on your own? Craig..."

"Oh, I see how it is," says Toby. "Because Craig's so much more important than your brother...well, stepbrother."

I glance behind me, and sigh. "Where is she? I'll talk to her."

Toby gives me a hug, which is weird because I don't think we've had a lot of hugs. Both of us feel instantly awkward and pull away.

"Uhhh...I'm going back in," says Toby. "Thanks, Ash."

It takes a couple minutes to find Manny, who is sitting on the hood of the limo van crying, the one they all drove off so happily in. I sit down next to her, the chrome hood of the car hurting my butt.

"Am I a total idiot?" asks Manny, unpinning her hair.

"No, you're just...," I begin.

"Everything was going so well. He came to my cheerleading tournament, my plays, walked with me to auditions. He liked my idea about Hollywood and made the Student Council consider it. I'd wait for him to get out of Student Council...I even watched his precious anime. And now she calls."

"They haven't spoken in forever, Manny."

Manny shakes her head. "I know, I know. I just had these flashbacks...to freshmen year, I guess."

Freshmen year? Craig.

"Prom is very much a flashback night," I say. "But just think of all the stuff you just told me. There's a lot of good times for you guys and..."

Suddenly, I realize I'm basically saying what Craig said before. I smile at the thought.

"He wore a purple tie for me...totally coordinated and cute," says Manny, wiping her tears. "He even danced to Drop It Like It's Hot for me."

"That's true love," I say.

We both laugh.

"We all get scared, Manny," I say. "We just have to jump in sometimes, I suppose."

"Yeah, Kendra's not here, and I am," says Manny confidently. "And I owe Toby an apology."

We slide off the car and lock arms, then head for the auditorium.

"It's funny," says Manny as we reach the door. "Two years ago, I felt bad and danced with him, then pushed him away.. Now he's the only one I want to dance with."

"I know the feeling," I say.