Disclaimer: I don't own it. Leave me in peace.
A/N: Before you start reading, let it be known that this is a humorous PARODY, although it might not be obvious at first. Thank you.

Drabble the Fifth: More Than Was Bargained For

Scar and Ed were squaring off for a fight. Before this moment, there had been a mad chase through streets and alleys, some point during which Al had been left behind. Now there was nowhere else to run, save backwards, so the chase was over. Now was the time to fight. They both exploded into motion in the same instant, and the alley was filled with flashes of blue and red light, and other, more normal, sounds of fighting. It went on for a short time, neither gaining an advantage over the other, until Al's voice carried around the corner.

"Niisan!"

Ed turned back out of distraction, and when he looked forward again he found that Scar was nearly on top of him, right arm ready. But Al's cry had distracted Scar as well, and although he didn't look up, he did trip as his shoe caught on a wide crack in the concrete. He fell forward…and his lips landed directly on Ed's. But it didn't stop there; he was still falling, and since he was much larger and heavier than Ed, the small alchemist fell backwards as well and wound up pinned under Scar, their mouths still pressed together. Time seemed to stop as both fighters froze, eyes wide with shock...

And that was when Al came running around the corner, promptly screeching to a halt as he caught sight of the pair. If he had been in possession of a human face, his mouth would have dropped open.

"N-niisan?"

Al's voice broke the spell, and Scar leapt backwards off of Ed, tripping again halfway and landing in a sitting position several feet away, his face an interesting shade of red, rubbing his mouth frantically and looking as though he was about to be sick.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA! MY MOUTH HAS BEEN POISONED!" Ed screamed as soon as Scar was off, half-running-half-crawling a few feet away and also proceeding to scrub his mouth with his sleeve. His face was even redder than Scar's.

After a few minutes of them sitting on the ground, gagging and wiping their mouths, they looked up, their eyes met, and they immediately looked the opposite way with a wince-shudder and resumed the gagging and wiping of mouths for several more minutes. Finally they stood up, still that interesting shade of red and pointedly not looking at one another. They were looking at Al instead. Rather threateningly.

"This. Didn't. Happen," they both spoke at the same time, emphasizing each word.

Al squeaked, "Uh…what didn't happen? I didn't see anything happen. Nope, nothing at all!"

"Good."

As Scar stomped quickly away, embarrassment and disgust radiating off him in waves, Al turned to Ed, "Um…I wasn't…uh…interrupting anything…right…?"

Ed gave him a highly disturbed look, "NO! The bastard tripped and landed on me! How could you even think something messed up was going on! He's freaking twice my freaking age! And he's a freaking GUY!"

Words could not describe how relieved Al was to hear this, "Well, it did kind of look like you two were-"

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT!" Ed shouted, giving another wince-shudder, 'I've been scarred for life…'

Well, the two of them had certainly gotten more than they bargained for that day.

Although they definitely both wished that they hadn't.

A/N: Hahahahahahaha! -cackles hysterically, tears coming out of eyes- I was reading the first volume of the Naruto manga, and anyone who's read that probably knows where I got this idea from. I really don't like EdxScar, if you couldn't tell.
Scar: I would HOPE not! That pairing is messed up in so many ways…-shudders-
No offense to any ScarxEd fans that might be reading this…but…erg…I'll answer reviews now…

GalacticHitchiker42: That it is, that it is. Is this soon enough? XD
Anasazi Darkmoon: Yay I can use it! Also, it was Envy. I'm not sure why, but it probably had something to do with the Super-Duper Homunculus PLANOMG.
Moonglitter2: Here ya go!