Chapter 3- Bald

My room is a spacious closet about the size of my bathroom back home. The good thing is, is that there are hidden drawers all over the place to put things in. The bad thing is, trying to find them. I sit on my bed. I have two blankets, one made of cotton, which looks like a top sheet, and a blanket that is light green and guess what? It's knitted! I have a window but it doesn't look out onto anything. Weird thing is, it lets in air. My room is gray and white. The floor looks dirty but it really isn't. And I can touch the ceiling. Woot.

I place my hands over my eyes.

Blue, should've taken the blue pill.

I scratch the top of my head… I have no hair. I jump up from my bed and run my hands over a bald head. I scream.

What the fuck happened to my hair? Oh God I'm bald and…and ugly! I didn't want to be bald until…NEVER!

The door bursts open. Big and Ganarth come running inside. I stare at them in disbelief.

"I'm bald." I say tears coming to my eyes. Not that I would let them fall. It's just that when I was living in the Human world, Earth or what ever it's called, my hair was one of my best features. That and my eyes. I had thick wavy red gold hair. And eyes that changed in the sunlight. Now I have a bald head and pretty eyes. Oh God.

"Why didn't you tell my I am bald?" I say glaring.

Ganarth shrugs. "I guess I thought you knew."

"But when we were Matrix fighting…"

"We were in a simulation, the computer took your image from your mind of what you thought you looked like. Not what you really did. I'm sorry Fay."

I turn away from them.

"If it helps darling I still think your beautiful." I smile at Big's words.

"Are you going to be alright Fay?" Ganarth says, I nod my head. "Diner will be done in a few minutes, we'll see you then, okay?" The door clicks, I don't turn around to see if they have left. I don't really care.

I'm fucking bald! Why should I?

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I come out for diner. No one seemed to notice that I am bald. Or they have and there just no saying anything. The cramped dining room offered hardly any room when one would have preferred to eat alone.

"Diner is served." Domino places a bowl of stemming brown and gray stuff in fount of me. I shiver disgusted and push it away from me.

"Not hungry." I say. I look around the area. Everyone is present except for Ganarth. Then I remember that he wasn't their for breakfast either. "Where's Ganarth?" I ask still looking around.

"He doesn't eat with us." Says Minnie.

"He doesn't eat wish us because he 'as other things he 'as to do when the rest of us are breakin' for a bit. He just eats later." Big smiles at me. "That concerned about him are ya?" I shake my head.

"No I was just wondering."

"And here I was hoping you had a little secret crush on me. But I guess I'm wrong the Commander has taken yer fancy."

"Just shut up ya big flirt." Domino interjects.

"That's alright Pizza, I can fight my own battles." I say.

"I didn't know we was fightin' lass. Almost like were an old married couple." Big replies grinning.

"Leave her alone." Silver says. "She just got here, she doesn't 'fancy' anyone so just give her a break. Besides your just jealous that she and the Commander were found in the same room together ALONE by Domino. So just shut your trap and be quiet."

All three of us, me, Big, and Domino blush. Me mostly from humiliation Big from anger and Domino from embarrassment.

"Harsh." Minnie says under her breath.

I inhale slowly. "So what do you think Kay?"

He raises his head from the table he sits at alone. He blinks, then goes back to eating. I nod my head like we understand one another. "Yep I think your right."

"Wait," says Domino. "Did he talk or did I miss something?"

"I think were not understandin' sompin" Answers Big.

"No it's just that Kay and I have an understanding." I answer.

"What kind of understanin'?" Big questions suspiciously.

I shake my head. "You'll have to ask Kay."

Everyone looks in Kay's direction.

I'm going to get you to talk one of these days damn-it!

A little grin plays on Kay's face. But he doesn't actually smile.

"Sompin weird is goin on ere."

I look at Big. "Are you Scottish?"

He smiles brightly. "Only half, on my father's side."

I smile back at him. "When I was younger I always believed that I would find my true love in Scotland."

"Really?" He leans forward. "It's not too late ya know. Even though were not in Scot land, we can pretend can't we?"

"It was when I was younger Big, not anymore. Sorry." I stick my tongue out at him.

"Ahhh well if ye ever change yer mind."

"I don't think I will." I stand. "Well I will see you all later."

Out in the hallway I DON'T search for Ganarth. The image of him in his bedroom comes into my mind. Him all wet and manly staring at me with the look of a lover. NOT the look of a lover, I shake my head. Ganarth is just Ganarth and I am just me. Things could never change the relationship that we have. Commander and… and what? Who am I to these people. A key sure but I want to be something more, someone they would gladly depend on. Not a tool, a person. I feel I tap on my shoulder. I turn to see who it is, prepared to give them a sharp remark to fuck off and die.

It's Kay.

I smile at him in surprise. He points down the hall. I look at him then were he pointed. Suddenly I hear music, and someone singing… WTF? I take a step forward then look over my shoulder to say thanks to Kay, but he's no longer there. I shrug. He'll talk to me he has to, I'm that stubborn. I follow to were the music is coming from. All the way down the hall to a place I had never been before. Then I realize that it is the control room, or what ever. The place where they would maneuver the ship, with the steering wheel and what not.

I really need to brush up on my ship lingo.

"Say you'll share with me one
love, one lifetime
let me lead you
from your solitude . . ."

"What are you doing?" Ganarth jumps

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" he turns the music down.

"I didn't know that you sang." He smiles sheepishly.

"Not many do." Silence falls. Not for the first time .

"Soooo, what were you singing?"

"I song that I remember my father singing to my mom when I was younger."

"Oh." quiet. "ummm… I think it's lovely."

He nods his head. "Yep."

I hear the beat of the music but no words. I tap my foot lightly on the floor. Ganarth scratches his head. We both look around the room like it was the first time stepping in here. Which it was for me, not for him.

"You should probably get some sleep, tomorrow you'll have more training." I nod my head.

"Ya your right." I roll back and forth from my heel to my toes. Hands clasped behind my back.

"Is there anything that you need?"

You, I need you! I have to have you! But I can't there's no way. I don't need anyone nothing. Just, just… myself.

"Nope." I answer.

"Alright then. Do you remember were your room is?"

"Oh, ya I do."

"Okay."

Silence.

"Can I ask you something." I say.

"You just did." We both laugh slightly. After a moment a say,

"Can I sing with you?"

"Wha…ummm sure I guess. Do you know the words?"

"If you teach me I'm sure I can get it."

"Okay. It's a duet."

I nod my head.

"First we'll listen to the song so you can get a feel for it."

Man
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here,
nothing can harm you -my words will
warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry -your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you . . .

Women
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me with you,
now and always . . .
promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you.

Man
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe;
No-one will find you,

your fears are far behind you . . .

Women
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night . . .
and you always beside me
to hold me and to hide me . . .

Man
Then say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime . . .
let me lead you
from your solitude . . .

Say you need me with you
here, beside you . . .

anywhere you go, let me go too -
Christine, that's all I ask
of you . . .

Women
Say you'll share with me one
love, one lifetime . . . say the word
and I will follow you . . .

BOTH
Share each day with me, each
night, each morning . . .

Women
Say you love me . . .

Man
You know I do . . .

BOTH
Love me -
that's all I ask of you . . .
Anywhere you go let me go too . . .
Love me -
that's all I ask of you . .

"It's beautiful. I take it your mom's name was Christine." I say when the music comes to a close.

"Ya, she was so wonderful." He blinks a few times. "Still want to learn it?"

"I do." I say happily.

"I'm glad." he answers

We both smile.

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Well I lied i got it here earier then i thought. On the 4th too! ya sighs i am going to my Aunts house to 'celebrate' WTF! i don't like family outings as much as everyone thinks i do. Well I'll try to get the next chapter up in a few days. Later, much.