AN: Thanks for all the reviews... I especially liked the one where the anonymous reader thought it sounded crappy... thanks for that whoever you were. Ummm still kinda short but I'm just "setting the story up" I guess you could say. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Song and pretty much all of Derek's letter is the song P.S. (I'm Still Not Over You) by Rihanna ( I just added some things to it to reflect the mood)

Chapter 2

"Life would have been so much easier if I was gay." Derek said gloomily laying his head on the table. He and Burke were in the hospital cafeteria. Derek had just told Burke the whole story about Meredith.

"I'm sure it would be but we can't choose our sexual orientations. We don't choose who we fall in love with. I definitely never planned to fall in love with a workaholic like Cristina. But, I did and there is nothing I can do about it now." Burke replied.

Derek lifted his head up and eyed the man in front of him. "How did you become so smart love wise?" He asked.

"Well, I am a heart surgeon." Burke said laughing.

"And a great one at that, Derek, Meredith just hopped into the elevator and you know how slow those damn things are." Cristina interrupted.

"You're right; I need to talk to her." With that Derek Shepherd, a man that vowed never to date an intern or run in the hospital, ran to the elevator.

"Hold the elevator!" Derek had gotten there just in time. The door had almost closed all the way when he had called out. When he did this a tiny ineffectual hand popped out to hold the door open. I must have disguised my voice a little bit; she never would've held it if she knew it was me. Derek thought. He stepped onto the elevator and saw that Meredith was looking at a chart with a small smile on her face. "Hey,"

"Hi- oh… it's you." Meredith said, smile fading, moving closer to the door which happened to be farther away from Derek. Derek stepped closer to Meredith so that they were standing right next to each other. He quickly reached out and pulled down the emergency break, something he had done many times.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Meredith asked. The pain was evident in her eyes. Pain and sadness.

"Meredith, just listen to me. I wrote you a letter last night. I'm going to give it to you and you're going to read it after I exit this elevator." Derek said making the elevator start up again. He was soon out and left Meredith standing there with a surprised look on her face.

"He gave me a letter. He stopped the elevator to give me a letter. I just can't get my mind around it. He has never done anything as bold as that." Meredith told Cristina and Izzie.

"You should have seen him at lunch with Burke. He had his head on the table." Cristina told her. "He didn't even eat anything. He had a whole plate full of food. Have you ever seen that man not eat? I know I haven't."

"Did you read the letter yet?" Izzie asked quietly. She hadn't been the same since Denny had died. She hadn't even baked one morsel of food.

"No… I was just going to throw it out." Meredith replied holding the letter.

"Let me read it." Izzie said.

Dear Meredith,

What's up? I know we haven't spoken for a while, but I'm always thinking about you. And it kinda made me smile how often that happened. I have so many things to say so I thought I'll put 'em in a letter, it might be easier and the words might come out better. I wish I could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you. Don't you know I've tried and I've tried to get you out my mind, but it doesn't get any better. As each day goes by, and I'm lost and confused I've got nothing to lose so I'm coming after you.

Sorry, I really didn't mean to ramble on, but there are still a lot of feelings that remained after you had gone. I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me, but it seems there's always something right there to remind me. Like a silly joke, or something on the TV. Boy it isn't easy. When I hear our song (Tainted Love by the Clash) I get that same old feeling, the one where I wish I could press rewind and turn back the clock.

Did you know I kept all of your pictures? I just don't have the strength to part with them yet. I tried to erase from my mind the way your kisses tasted and how your hair smelled like lavender. But, some things I just can't forget.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Derek
P.S. I'm still not over you.

AN: Please review! Still a little short but I explained that in the first Author's Note. Just so you know, I have nothing against gay people. That was just the mood Derek was in... women are too much trouble lol... jk