Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

- Chapter fifteen: Unravelling the secrets -

"Selphie?"

"Hmmm...?"

"...Are you...okay?"

The girl in his arms snuggled up a little closer to him.

"I'm fine." She said softly.

Irvine stroked her head tenderly.

"I'm glad." He whispered. "I was scared that I might've-"

"You were scared?" she asked surprised.

He smiled. "Yeah, of course I was. I knew it was your first time...and that can be...painful. I just wanted it to be comfortable for you. I was scared of hurting you..."

Selphie giggled and kissed his bare shoulder. "Thank you. For being so sweet. And I'll admit it was a bit scary at first...but...I felt safe because it was you."

Irvine kissed the top of her head.

"I feel really special." She whispered. "I'm glad it was you."

She rested her head on his chest and sighed contently. Irvine caressed her hair gently as he stared up at the ceiling. It still felt a little confusing to realise what they had just done. Not that he wasn't used to it, but because of Selphie.

It had been on her incentive. She had given the signal, she had said the words. Even though she was a shy person, it had been her idea. She had trusted him.

But still a little guilty feeling was nagging in the back of his mind because he knew that Rinoa had been playing through his mind every second of it. He knew that Selphie had been wrong to place such trust in him. He had cheated on her and she had believed him to be honest and that was why she had trusted him.

Selphie muttered something to him and he shoved these thougts to the back of his mind. "What?"

"I said 'what's that noise'?"

"What noise?" he asked confusedly.

"Listen, out there in the hallway. Someone is speaking through the microphones, but I can't make it out."

Irvine stood up and listened at the door while slipping his trousers back on.

"I reapeat, Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. This is an emergancy!" sounded Kadowaki's voice.

Irvine's heart skipped a beat or two.

"Rinoa..." he whispered.

Feverishly he pulled his shirt on over his head and forced his feet into his shoes. He never should have left her like that.

"What did you say?" Selphie asked confused as she watched him put his clothes back on. "What's going on outside?"

"...I've got to go." He said breathlessly.

"What?" she exclaimed. "You have to go now? Right now?"

Irvine didn't respond.

"Irvine!"

She sat up straight, clasping the sheets to her chest. He shook his head absentmindedly, as if he had forgotten about the girl in the bed completely, and walked towards the door.

"Irvine!" Selphie called again.

But he was already gone and she was staring at the closed door. The silence that followed fell over her like a thik blanket, almost choking her. She lowered her head slowly, her hand tightening into a tiny fist around the cloth. What had she done wrong? Had she been too cuddly? Had it been that bad?

She felt a tear roll down from her eye as she sat up, letting her feet touch the cold floor. Feeling humiliated, she reached down to pick up her clothes, still clutching the sheets tightly.

"Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. I repeat, Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. This is an emergancy!"

Squall kept looking at his cup of coffee grumpily. Quistis watched him curiously. He didn't move.

"Squall..." she said slowly.

His answer was a low grunt.

"Squall, you did hear that, didn't you."

Again just a low grunt. She sighed. Something had been troubling him this last day or two, but he wasn't someone who shared his feelings easily. So she could only guess what it was and she had to choose her words carefully.

"Aren't you going? It sounds like they need you."

Now he didn't even grunt and simply ignored her.

"Squall, this might be about Rinoa. Don't you think-"

"Just leave it, Quistis." He said suddenly, pushing his coffee away from him forcefully. "I don't care, even if it did concern her. Especially if it concers her."

"Squall!" Quistis exclaimed surprised.

She had seen him angry or sullen before. It was one of the few emotions he did share easily, making sure everyone had the opportunity to enjoy it.

"I don't think you really feel like that. Now I might not know what the problem is with you and her, but she's still our friend. And if you're called to the infirmary, then go!"

When he tried to ignore her she slammed her hands down on the table.

"Commander!" she shouted.

"Alright..." he hissed. "I'll go. But don't think for one minute..."

He sighed.

"Forget it, I'm not even going to explain." He turned around and stormed off.

Irvine held his eyes fixed on the floor. His head was spinning with everything that was going through his mind. Rinoa was in trouble. Why else would the doctor have called for Squall. Would Squall even care? What could be wrong?

Turning a sharp corner, he rushed into the infirmary.

"Doctor!" he shouted. "Doctor what's going on? Where's Rinoa?"

The doctor emerged from a room at the end of the small corridor. There were red stains on her white coat. They were tiny, but Irvine noticed them immediately. He turned pale.

'I should never have left her, I should never have turned her away like that.'

He should have realised there was something wrong when she had acted so strange that afternoon. And now...

"Please tell me she's alright. I know you called for Squall, but I didn't think he'd show, so I came- Please tell me she's fine!" he babbled.

Kadowaki didn't smile.

"She's...she's in here, Irvine..." she said with a tired sigh. "You'd better come in."

Irvine nodded and wanted to walk into the room but Kadowaki hesitated.

"...I really had hoped Squall would have answered...I'm not sure you're the one...that you want to see..."

"Well Squall isn't here." Irvine said, his voice turning harsh quickly.

"I know. So perhaps you should come in. I just wanted to wawrn you..."

She let out a resigned sigh and held the door open. Irvine cast his eyes on the floor as he entered. Somehow now that he could finally enter, he was afraid of what he would see inside. The doctor hadn't said anything about Rinoa's health when he had asked about it.

He heard soft groaning and recognised Rinoa's voice. Looking up at last, he stared at the nurse's hands, watching them tie and smooth bandages around Rinoa's wrists. His breath got stuck in his throat for a moment when he saw two dark red stains coming through the white fabric.

The nurse nodded her head in acknowledgement at him and rested Rinoa's arm by her side on the bed.

"What hapened?" he croaked.

He sat down on the side of the bed but didn't touch her hand.

"We found her like that. All we could do was bind it and place her somewhere more comfortable."

"She inflicted this on herself?" he whispered incredulously.

When Kadowaki staid silent he got back to his feet and left. The image of those bound wrists seemed to be stuck to his eyes. He pushed the door of the infirmary open and shivered when it fell shut behind him. Had she done that to herself? Had she hurt herself because of him?

Was it his fault for leaving her on her own when she had clearly been unstable at the time? He should have noticed there was something wrong. This was his fault. He'd never forgive himself if she didn't recover from this.

"Irvine."

He looked up and saw Squall standing still a short distance away. He lifted his chin up in the air a bit.

"So you decided to show up. I'm surprised." He said coolly.

"She's my girlfriend. I'm expected to show up."

"Oh, made up with her, have you?" Irvine sneered.

Squall gritted his teeth.

"I've been more to her than you will ever be." He hissed. "You'll never be able to understand the things she shared with me."

"Boys!" doctor Kadowaki called out as she pushed the door open. "This is a hospital wing. Squall, good that you're here. I need to show you something."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him inside before he could throw another comment at Irvine. Not wanting to be left out, Irvine followed them.

"She wrote this." Kadowaki said quietly.

She handed Squall a note and he read it silently. But before Irvine could say something he started to read it out loud.

"You might say you feel sorry for our little bird. Sorry that she will remain locked up forever. But is this really so wrong? She flew into that cage out of her own free will. She flew in because she thought she would be safe there and she closed the door herself. I say she gets what's coming to her. She deserves to remain in that cage till the day she dies."

Irvine suddenly felt his eyes open wide. He understood now. So she had almost been right in acusing him. No one else but one of them could have heard their conversations. If it hadn't been him, then...

"I've been wondering about that." Kadowaki said. "I don't understand what bird she's talking about."

"...I do." Irvine said quietly when Kadowaki couldn't hear. "I know only too well."

Squall looked at him strangely.

"Rinoa wrote this, right? You must have noticed that it's about the same story as on the posters."

Squall turned around, gripping the note tightly. Irvine watched him storm off, knowing he'd be in their room, rummaging through drawers and cupboards to find more notes, to compare the handwriting.

He opened a drawer forcefully. He needed to find something...he needed to see for himself that Rinoa had really-

He threw open the closet in his room and carelessly rummaged around in the clothes on the pegs and on the floor. He cursed when everything fell down, causing an even greater mess. Then he turned around wildly and looked around. Where could she have hidden it?

Suddenly he spotted their desk. He could picture Rinoa sitting behind it so well. It suddenly struck him how often she had sat behind it, writing, drawing...He sat down in the chair slowly. His hands touching the surface of the desk softly, gliding over it as if he was trying to check if it was real.

The he let his hand slide down to the drawers. He opened the top one, surprised it wasn't locked. There was a neat pile of paper inside it and next to it were her drawing pens, pencils and an eraser. He took the pile out and placed it on the surface in front of him. The first page was blank, so were the second and the third, all the way up to the eleventh one.

But the twelth page had a drawing on it. It was a bird, the same one that had been pasted all over the walls of Garden not too long ago. He turned to the next page, and the next, and the next. All of them bore the same drawing.

He took all the drawings and placed them back inside the drawer. Then he looked at the rest of the pile. The pages that were now left all had text on them. He read them quickly and recognised all of it. These handwritten pages carried the same words as those posters that had been plaguing him, Quistis and Garden.

It had been Rinoa all this time. She had written the stories, she had written the notes, she had probably even killed Angelo herself...But why!

He had to fight the burning feeling inside him. Why had she done all of this...threatening herself, threathing Angelo, trying to kill herself...

He grasped the pile and clenched it tightly in his hand. He would go and confront her right away. She would have to explain everything.

He stood up and marched out the room. The door slid open and suddenly he found himself face to face with Selphie. Her face was puffy and red and her mascara had run down her cheeks. Her dress was crumpled and one of the straps was hanging loose off her shoulder.