Bards, Burning, and Black

Remus: Do the masses really like this sort of thing THAT much?

Sirius: Of course they do, they shower me in candy corn!

Remus: Who does?

Sirius: The masses of course, they like me for my personality.

Peter:…That's a lot of personality.

James: Yeah, Sirius has about 23 personalities bottled up inside him.

Remus: This, I have never experienced before.

Peter: What?

Remus: Sirius has multiple personality disorder?

James: Oh my gawd Remus, you of all people I think would've noticed.

Remus: (shrug)

Sirius: No matter what, I will always prevail!

James: You see, this is one of them and probably the most prominent.

Peter: Which is….?

James: Conceded.

Peter: 0.0

Remus: PEE-TER? DO-YOU-UNDER-STAND? Do you know what that-word means?

Peter : 6. 9

James: What kind of a face is that?

Peter: A confused one, what does 'Konkited' mean?

Remus: CUN-SEE-DID. It means vain.

Peter: Oh…so, conceded is to heart as tunnel is to freeway?

James: No not that vein! Vain! As in obsessed with one's self. Only someone who was vain enough would think that vein could be used the same as vain.

Sirius: Vain runs in my veins.

Peter: Are they spelled different or something?

James: HELLO? Isn't it obvious? Vain…vein.

Peter: I can't tell! It's not fair! How am I supposed to know the difference, if the only way you can tell the difference is if it's typed?

James: Context…duh.

Remus: I'm very proud of you James.

James: And to think, I thought you were kidding about getting me a dictionary for my birthday.

Remus: (teary-eyed) You…you actually read it?

James: Hell no, but Sirius and me burned the shit out of it and threw our toy soldiers in it.

Sirius: Burn baby burn! Did you bring me a monkey?

James: Didn't you ask that in a last chapter?

Sirius: Thanks for coming to my tea party guys!

Remus: What's this personality called?

James: The Mad Hatter.

Sirius: Take some more tea!

Peter: But I haven't had any yet! So I can't take more!

Sirius: You mean you can't take less. It's very easy to take more of nothing.

Peter: Oh dear.

Sirius: I WANT A CLEAN CUP!…Let's all move down one.

Remus: Wow. That's pretty funny.

Sirius: So is your face.

James: Sirius, why not demonstrate to us your 'emo' side?

Sirius: I hate the world and the world hates me. I'm going to go get a depressing layout and update my myspace with the horrible going-ons of my life.

Peter: So that's what I forgot to do!

Sirius: BLACK! I love black! For I am Goth! I love weapons…and black! If I could, I'd change my last name to Black…

Remus: Sirius…your last name IS Black.

Sirius: All the more reason to change it to Black.

James: Wow. The word 'black' looks really weird after a while…black, black, black, black.

Sirius: Rhymes with "ack, ack, ack, ack, ack….

Peter: Kinda sounds like: "bleck"

Remus: Where have I a heard that word before, such an odd word, "bleck".

Sirius: Well there are so many situations in which you could use "bleck".

James: As in seeing something gross or tasting something bad.

Remus: Or seeing Peter's face!

James: Yeah or like seeing—OMG!

Sirius: Did…did…d-did Remus just…BURN someone?

James: 0.0

Peter:…I don't get it.

Sirius: You don't get much from anyone.

James: Except for negativity, which I will be happy to provide.

Sirius: If I were a wandering minstrel, I would sing such tales of James and his "dishing out of negativity".

Remus: I'm debating on whether or not I would actually buy that album…

Sirius: "Peter was such an odd fellow"

James: Man…I am seriously getting hungry…

Sirius: "He hated everyone, everything, even yellow"

Remus: Nice alliteration.

Peter: What the crap is that?

Sirius: "And I predict one day very soon…"

James: I'm stumped as well Wormy.

Sirius: "He will become even more of a loon."

Remus: That reminds me of a tongue twister…

Sirius: "And while everyone was going on with their daily lives"

Remus: A skunk sat on stump…

Sirius: "He would kill everyone with knives"

Remus: The skunk thunk the stump stunk

Sirius: " And while he was heading for the train conjunction…"

Remus: And the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Sirius: "He would discover his erectile dysfunction"

Peter: At least I get some benefit at the end!

Marauders: 0.o

Remus: I weep for you Wormy.

Sirius: I weed-eat for you.

Peter: That's so nice….IF ONLY I HAD GRASS!

James: Well we know you have something that rhymes with grass….

Sirius: May I entertain you while you sit on your toadstool of obesity?

Peter:…It is not big!

Remus: That's what she said.

James: Yeah! That's what she—OMG! Another one Remus?

Remus: I feel so hostile today…

James: Is that considered a bad thing?

Remus: My intelligence feels so…gone.

Sirius: Wow Remus, you look tired from all that defeat. Here, let me wipe you off with a sponge, the sponge of failure.

James: Ho-Ho! Wow that's great.

Sirius: Acknowledge my skills!

Marauders: (bow)

Remus: I don't Sirius. My skills are definitely worth mentioning.

Sirius: Let me play you a merry ole song on my whimsical flute: "You suck".

Remus: This is going nowhere.

Christy: HOW DARE YOU! Are you implying that I should stop?

Remus: Well, no but…

Christy: Hmph! I will end this conversation myself. If you had a pet Remus, it would be the Salamander of Regret!