Rating: PGish (i really dont know what for but just in case some unappropriate things happen, its good to be safe)

Summary: All the POTC characters attender a Christmas Dinner.

Notes: My friend and I wrote this together a while back, shortly after the first POTC movie. It it the only format that captures the humor perfectly. We did this together so all credit goes to myself(Casey) and my friend, Michelle, who does not have an account on here.

There are a lot of obvious POTC quotes twisted around to fit this story, don't worry though, being as who this was my first ever fanfic,I was young and stupid, it lessens and gets even more enjoyable as the story progresses.

Disclaimer: Nope...cries we do not own POTC or any of the lovable characters. We DO of course, own the dinner they cooked.

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All the pirates gather at a Christmas dinner hosted by Governor Swann

Jack: A Christmas dinner? I LOVE Christmas dinners! Drinks all around!

Everyone approaches the table

Jack: Well I think we've all reached the table at very special place, eh? Thristly...hungrily...

Stares at rum on the table

Jack: Yay! The rum is NOT gone!

Governor: Don't dig in just yet, Mr. Sparrow. Wait until everyone has sat down.

Jack pulls out pistol and aims it at the Governor

Jack: Don't you stand between me and my rum!

Governor hesitates

Jack: This shot is not meant for you!

Will enters the room with Elizabeth and sees Jack aiming his pistol at the Governor

Will: I knew I couldn't entirely trust you!

Jack: I never gave you a reason to

Barbossa looks at Will

Barbossa: What's in your head, boy? Stay out of it! This is getting good...

Mr. Cotton's Parrot: squacks Man over board! Man over board!

Mr. Gibbs: Cotton's right. We are all forgeting our table manners.

Barbossa: To blazes with the table manners! They're more what you call... guide lines than actual manners.

Toilet flushes and Norrington walks out of the bathroom. Everyone stares at him

Norrington: What?

Norrington realizes his wig is on wrong

Norrington: Excuse me.

Norrington goes back into bathroom

Jack: Move, Governor!

Elizabeth runs over to Jack

Elizabeth: Jack please! Don't shoot my Father! Please! For me...as a Christmas gift.

Jack stares at Elizabeth while Will stares jealously in the background

Jack: Alright...my dearest Elizabeth...for you.

Jack lowers his pistol, but then suddenly the room gets dark and a ghostly figure approaches

Mr.Gibbs: Eh! Who be you?

Bootstrap Bill's Ghost: Aye...I be Will Turner!

Will: No your not! I am!

Bootstrap Bill's Ghost: No your not!

Will: Yes I am!

Bootstrap Bill's Ghost: No your not!

Will: Yes I am!

Bootstrap Bill's Ghost: No your not!

Jack gets impatient and continous to stare at the rum.

Jack: There's gonna be no living with them.

Pintel reaches into grab the rum. Jack taps his hand with his sword

Pintel: Why would you want to be living with them...

Everyone turns to Jack just as Norrington comes out of the bathroom

Norrington: Oh, now that I'm not making a fool of myself I'm not wanted. I see how things are.

Elizabeth: Awww, I get to sit next to the person I love and the person who loves me.

Norrington: I do not love you!

Will: You lied!

Jack: But he's not a pirate.

Barbossa: Can we PLEASE start eating? I'm getting hungry...which is technically impossible...

Jack: Improbable.

Governor: Not until we say Grace.

Turns to Jack

Governor: Would you like to start?

Jack: Start AND end. Dear Lord, Thanks for the rum. Amen. Was that good?

Governor stares at him

Norrington: What would you except from Jack Sparrow?

Jack: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow! Do we have to go through this a million times? I've got people to scare, treasure to pillage, RUM TO DRINK!

Elizabeth stands up leans into Jack

Elizabeth (in a whisper): That was despicable.

Will: Mrs. Swann. That was entirely rude. He's our guest.

Elizabeth: How many times must I tell you to call me Elizabeth! We're married for goodness sakes!

Everyone stares at Elizabeth and Will

Will (in a whisper): Why DID I marry you again?

Jack: Married? Married! You got married? You had a wedding! Were there drinks! TELL ME!

Elizabeth: Jack, you were there. You got drunk and danced all night long...

Will: You fell into the cake, do you remember any of this!

Jack looks around at all of the stares

Jack: So can we open the rum now?